


Across The Multiverse

by WhimsyNeptune



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Apologies, Bisexual Kara Danvers, Bisexual Lena Luthor, Brief Mention Of Dubious Consent, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Heavy Angst, Identity Reveal, Kara/Lucy - Freeform, Lames Breakup Scene, Lena Luthor Finds Out Kara Danvers is Supergirl, Love, Mentions of a Minor Character’s Suicide, Minor Character Death, Protective!Alex Danvers, world jumping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-31
Updated: 2019-06-24
Packaged: 2019-08-11 08:37:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 55
Words: 140,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16472246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhimsyNeptune/pseuds/WhimsyNeptune
Summary: When she awoke, her vision was blurry, but she could make out a form staring down at her. She blinked away the blurriness and focused on the form staring down at her… It was herself.She furrowed her brow, confusion and fear taking over her. “W-where am I?” She asked groggily, trying to sit up but realizing that she was strapped down to whatever she was laying on.Her doppelganger stared suspiciously at her. “You’re in LuthorCorp labs… In National City.”Confusion swirled around in Lena’s head… LuthorCorp? That wasn’t right; she’d renamed the company years ago. She was just going to say as much when she remembered the breaching device she had been working on, and the portal she had been pulled through… This wasn’t her Earth… “What Earth am I on?” She asked.Doppelganger Lena pulled back and nodded. “You’re on Earth 84"Or,Lena accidentally breaches herself to another universe after a huge fight with Kara, and she finds out just how much her life would change without Kara in it.





	1. Chapter 1

Lena stood there, her heart broken and searing in agony… Kara was standing in front of her; shirt ripped open and the Supergirl crest on full display.

She felt betrayed, heartbroken, angry… all of the emotions swirling in her chest. “Why now?” She asked, her voice breaking.

Kara stood there, a look of pure anguish spread across her face. “Because I couldn’t keep lying to my best friend.” She admitted. “I always kept it a secret because I thought I was protecting you, but then James came out as guardian… and you’re his public girlfriend, plus your name already makes you a target as it is… So, I finally realized that the only person I was protecting was myself. I wanted to tell you so many times, Lena… but I was terrified for your safety, but I was also terrified of losing you.” There were tears in Kara’s eyes, and all Lena wanted to do was cry with her, but she refused to show weakness right then… She was too angry and too heartbroken to let Kara see her cry too.

“You should leave.” She demanded with a weak voice.

Kara tightened her jaw, tears gushing down her face, but she nodded. “Okay.” She croaked out. “But I hope one day we can make amends.” She whispered in a quivering voice.

Lena’s heart yearned to run to Kara, but her pride wouldn’t let her. “Leave, Kara… and don’t come back.”

Kara’s lip quivered as she nodded one last time, buttoned up her shirt, and left the penthouse.

As soon as the door closed behind Kara, Lena couldn’t fight her tears any longer. She fell back into her couch and let out sob, after sob, after sob. She couldn’t help it… She’d always cared for Kara more than any other person in her life, and she’d just found out that she had been lying to her the entirety of their friendship… and that her 'boyfriend' had been in on it all.

She didn’t know what to do anymore, a rage she hadn’t felt in years overcame her, and she immediately went for her phone.

 **Lena:** _Need to talk. Come over now._

She threw her phone down next to her, as tears continued to fall. She thought of all the times she’d saved Supergirl, and all the times that she had laughed and cried with Kara… and they all merged together… She wasn’t sure what was real and what wasn’t… Did Kara truly even want to be her friend or had she just been using her for insider information and free interviews?

Her phone dinged again, and she grabbed it to read the response.

 **James:** _Be there soon._

She sighed and shut her phone off… there wasn’t going to be much need for it anymore; she had no one now.

 

**XXX**

James entered the penthouse thirty minutes later, and Lena had already gathered what little belongings she had of his by the time he arrived.

He furrowed his brow. “Lena, what’s going on?”

Lena laughed sardonically and threw his toothbrush at him. “You lied to me… for  _months_  you lied to me, and now I know the truth, and I’ve never felt freer. We were never going to work, James. I’m just glad I realized it now instead of later on down the line.”

James still looked confused, and Lena couldn’t help but roll her eyes. “You knew that Kara was Supergirl, but you kept it from me the entire time that we have been dating. Like I said, I will never be with someone that has already broken my trust. Get your toothbrush and files and get out of my house.”

James looked irate, and as if he was going to speak again, but he thought better of it and grabbed his things before hustling out of the penthouse.

She expected to feel more pain when James exited; she was waiting for her heart to break, top yearn for James to come back and fight for her… but there was nothing, she felt nothing at the loss of James, but she felt as if she were dying because of her loss of Kara.

 

**XXX**

Two months had flown by; she’d put her personal cellphone up and hadn’t even touched it… Because she had no one now, with the loss of Kara.

She was still hurting, still felt betrayed, still felt stupid for being blinded by a pigtail and glasses, so she had buried herself in work.

Kara had tried to visit her, but she’d ignored her as both Supergirl and as a reporter at CatCo. She’d ignored Kara’s pleas to let her explain, had thrown away the letters she’d sent… And had banned her and James both from the building.

She was done with them both, no matter how much it broke her heart to lose Kara… How could she ever trust her again?

She hadn’t heard from any of Kara’s friends, only getting a simple disapproving glare from Alex once as she passed her in Noonan’s… but that was it.

Until today…

She was sitting in her office, preparing for a conference call when her door barged open, and an apologetic looking Jess stood behind a determined Alex Danvers.

“Agent Danvers, I-,”

“It’s Director Danvers now,” Alex informed. “And I need your help.”

Lena furrowed her brow. “Why would I help you?” She asked irritatedly.

Alex sighed. “I wouldn’t ask you, but Brainy went back to the future last month, and Winn is still there too… Apparently, he found a girlfriend there.”

Lena was intrigued that Winn had found a lady friend, but she was still not interested in helping the sister of the woman that had broken her heart. “I have no interest in being your back up.” She said with vigor.

Alex sat down a piece of tech that looked a lot like a breaching device… but it was smashed and hard to tell. “I have a family of Almeraci that could find an accepting home in a different universe where Almerica didn’t explode, but I can’t get this thing to work after I accidentally dropped it off a rooftop when I was fighting an Exorian. Don’t do it for Kara, don’t even do it for me, do it for an innocent family just looking for a place to that will accept them.”

Lena glared at the woman before her, not at all pleased with how she had managed to manipulate her, but she let out a sigh of frustration and nodded. “Fine. I will see what I can do.”

Alex fist pumped the air. “Yes! Thank you. I’ll check back with you in a week or so to see if you’ve made any progress... or you could dust off your phone and call me… whichever works better for you.”

Lena rolled her eyes and picked up the broken breaching device. “Visiting me in a few weeks will work just fine.”

Alex nodded. “Alright. See you then.” She said before exiting the office. When she reached the door, she turned around and faced Lena. “And for what it’s worth, I think you're being extremely unfair to Kara… Put yourself in her shoes and try to see it from her perspective… She didn’t deceive you to hurt you. She did it for the exact opposite… And because I said I’d just have J’onn wipe your memory if she ever did tell you.”

Lena took that information into consideration, but still felt too hurt to even think about talking to Kara. “Noted.” She said in a cracked voice… The mere thought of Kara bringing her back to the precipice of tears.

Alex nodded one last time before she turned around again and left… Leaving Lena to contemplate how to fix the breaching device.

 

**XXX**

It had taken three days for Lena to piece the breaching device back together.

She was standing in her lab, looking through a microscope and putting the final piece on and then squealed in victory. “YES!” She exclaimed, picking up the device in her hands and examining it.

She pushed the button to see if it would activate when a portal opened and sucked her through.

 

**XXX**

When she awoke, her vision was blurry, but she could make out a form staring down at her. She blinked away the blurriness and focused on the form staring down at her… It was herself, only thinner, paler, and more haunted than herself.

She furrowed her brow, confusion and fear taking over her. “W-where am I?” She asked groggily, trying to sit up but realizing that she was strapped down to whatever she was laying on.

Her doppelganger stared suspiciously at her. “You’re in LuthorCorp labs… In National City.”

Confusion swirled around in Lena’s head… _LuthorCorp_? That wasn’t right; she’d renamed the company years ago. She was just going to say as much when she remembered the breaching device she had been working on, and the portal she had been pulled through… This wasn’t her Earth… “What Earth am I on?” She asked.

Doppelganger Lena pulled back and nodded. “You’re on Earth 84.”

Lena sighed. “I didn’t mean to end up here.” She admitted. “I mean you no harm, I was fixing a-,”

“Breaching device?” The doppelganger asked.

Lena was shocked that the other her had known exactly what had happened, but she plastered a smile to her face and nodded. “Yes.”

Doppelganger nodded. “You and fifty-eight others.” She smirked. “But I have just one question for you before I decide to help you get back home or not.”

Lena furrowed her brow as she was instantly hit with confusion again, but she nodded her head, willing to answer whatever question she needed to in or to get home. “Of course.” She offered.

Earth 84 Lena smiled. “Have you admitted your feelings yet?” She asked.

Lena had no idea why her ‘feelings’ for James mattered in this moment. “I-… We dated, but I dumped him. He was lying to me.”

Lena 84 smacked her forehead. “Not to  _HIM_  you ninny, to  _HER.”_

Lena narrowed her eyes. “Her who?”

“Oh you’ve got to be kiddin-,” Lena 84 clamped her mouth shut forcefully and closed her eyes tightly; letting out a slow breath of irritation. “Are all of us this stupid?” She asked.

Lena looked at her, feeling incredulous. “We’re the most intelligent human beings on the plan-,”

“We may be book smart,” Lena 84 started. “But when it comes to our emotions we’re idiotic as hell.” She walked over to the table across the room and grabbed keys. She then came back to Lena, and unlocked the chains that were holding her in place. “Come with me.”


	2. Chapter 2

Lena followed her doppelganger to the parking garage and got into a car with her.

“Where are you taking me?” She asked nervously, wanting to trust her counterpart, but still too scared to know if she should.

“To one of your worst nightmares.” Lena 84 informed without hesitation. The intonation of her voice almost deadly.

Lena swallowed, she just wanted to go home.

“Are you fighting with her?” Lena 84 asked randomly.

Lena furrowed her brows. “You keep asking me about _her,_ but you never inform which _her_ you are referring to.”

Her doppelganger made a left turn and then turned her head to glare at her. “The only _her_ that you’ve cared about more than anything in the past three years. The only _her_ that you trusted with every fiber of your being. The only _her_ that could have the potential to destroy you… The _her_ that **_flies_**.”

Lena’s heart sank… _Kara._

She looked down at her hands that were folded in her lap. “Y-yes… we’re fighting. She lied to me about who she w-,”

“Oh my god… You’re really one of the ones that get mad about her being Supergirl?” Lena 84 asked with a scoff. “Of course, you are… You don’t have a scar.”

Lena furrowed her brow. “Why wouldn’t I be mad?”

Lena 84 slammed on her breaks and pulled the car onto the side of the road. She shut the car off and pinned Lena with a ferocious glare. “Because we all know that she’s the best thing to happen to us. She’s saved us multiple times, as both Kara _and_ Supergirl. She’s believed in us, sacrificed for us, and risked her life for us millions of times, more than anyone else in the world, and her being too scared to tell us that she was Supergirl doesn’t change a thing.”

Lena clenched her jaw… She knew what she felt for Kara was strong, but she never put much thought into what it meant… Now she was questioning everything.

“She lied to me.” She asserted.

Lena 84 scoffed. “Yeah? And you lied to her about the Kryptonite, right? Does she even know that you can make it? That you d _id_ make it?”

Lena felt guilt swarm over her, and she averted her gaze.

84 laughed sardonically. “A lot of us are hypocrites… but the ones that actually get mad about this? We’re so much worse.”

Lena lifted up her gaze. “ _We’re_?” She asked in a still small voice.

“Yes. I was one of the ones that got mad about it… and it cost me everything I loved.”

Lena furrowed her brow. “How?”

“I’m going to show you… But you have to tell me… How long has it been since everything happened between you and her?”

Lena sighed, her heart aching in her chest at the memory of her last encounter with Kara. “A little over two months.”

Earth 84 Lena nodded her head. “You still have time.”

Lena furrowed her brow. “Time for what?”

“To fix things” The doppelganger explained. “Because That’s what we’re here for… We’re here to show you what your future will end up looking like if you _don’t_.”

“Who is ‘we’?” Lena asked incredulously.

Lena 84 laughed and started up the engine again. “You’ll see.”

 

**XXX**

Lena sat in the car as her look alike steered the car towards their mysterious destination, and she studied her in depth for the first time since she woke up.

For someone she shared a face with, they certainly had quite a few differences in their appearance.

Her look alike was skinnier, almost unhealthily skinny. Her eyes were almost lifeless, and her skin was grey… her hair was a bit shorter, but messy and greasy… Her face showed a sadness that seemed so deep-seeded in her soul that it consumed her… It looked as though she had just given up on herself, and that was something Lena could relate to… She fought that urge every day… But she couldn’t imagine what it would actually take to push her over the edge to actually go through with giving up on life altogether.

She wanted to ask, wanted to pick the brain of the woman that shared so much in common with her, but she finally just settled on. “What happened between you and your Kara?”

Earth 84 Lena smiled sadly. “You’ll find out soon enough.”

Lena crinkled her brows, trying to figure out what on Earth could possibly be so important that it had to be kept a secret, but not wanting to start an argument by prying. So, she sat in her seat and thought about all the possibilities that she could think of.

 

**XXX**

“Where are we going?” Lena asked about two hours into the ride.

Lena 84 laughed. “It seems that being impatient is a trait we all share.”

Lena sighed, “Can you please just tell me where we are going?”

84 turned and gave Lena another melancholy smile. “Somewhere that is going to change your entire outlook on life.”

Lena was beginning to get annoyed, when they passed a sign that caught her attention… Midvale.

“Midvale? Why are we here?”

Lena 84 glared at her. “Stop asking so many questions.” She ordered in annoyance.

Lena huffed out her irritation and sat back, still confused as to why she was being brought to Kara’s hometown on a completely different Earth… If Lena 84 and Kara 84 were on bad terms, then why was Lena 84 invading Kara’s hometown in the middle of the night?

After a few more minutes, Lena 84 had pulled into a long, pebbled driveway. She drove down it for a few about thirty seconds more before putting the car in park and shutting off the engine in front of a seemingly abandoned house that was right on the ocean line.

 It looked decrepit, the paint faded and peeling off, the windows boarded up, the door fallen off its hinges. There was even mold and mildew growing on the exposed wood panels. It was almost ghostly. Not at all like a home that she had imagined sunny Kara Danvers would have grown up in.

“Is this-,” Lena was cut off.

“Where Kara grew up?” Lena 84 asked knowingly. She nodded. “Yeah.”

Lena was still confused, why would she bring her here of all places? “Why are we here?”

84 Lena pulled out a picture from her wallet, where she saw a twenty-something Kara standing in front of the same house, with a smile on her face and Alex at her side… They looked ecstatic to be alive, and the house… The house was beautiful. The shrubbery around it was thriving, the paint was a beautiful pale blue, the windows had plants in them, with nice brown curtains framing them… It looked exactly like the home of someone as sunny and cheerful as one Kara Danvers.

Lena couldn’t help but smile as she stared at how gorgeous Kara looked in the picture. Her heart melted, and her soul yearned to hug her, but the realization hit her… The house looked nothing like it did in this photo. “W-why is the house so dilapidated now? What happened?”

Lena 84 nodded. “I’m about to show you.” She said before looking at the photo and gently rubbing her thumb over Kara’s smiling face.

There was a pain in 84’s eyes of such great magnitude that broke Lena’s heart... Whatever happened between her and Kara 84 must have been _drastic.._. Had it been the same thing that tore her and her own Kara apart?

84 started up her car again and turned it around without another word. She drove through the streets of Midvale, as if she’d done it a thousand times before.

“How did you learn these streets so well?” Lena asked, shocked that Lena 84 had managed to learn her way around a town that Lena herself had never even been invited to yet.

84 smiled. “Practice.” She informed, before pulling up to a florist shop. “Stay here. I’ll only be a minute.”

Lena nodded dumbly, still wholly perplexed about the reasoning behind Lena 84 bringing her all the way to Midvale at two in the morning.

She looked over and watched in utter shock as 84 took two bobby pins out of her hair and picked the lock to the florist’s shop. “What the hell?” She whispered to herself in utter bewilderment… She would _never_ do that herself.

She continued observing as 84 searched for something for a moment, before seemingly finding what she was looking for and grabbing a large bouquet of what looked to be Plumerias. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a large wad of cash, placing it on the counter before exiting the shop and closing the door behind her.

Lena was in awe of her doppelganger, who looked so much like her, but acted in such a different manner than herself.

When 84 re-entered the car, Lena smiled mischievously at her. “Bringing her flowers to apologize for whatever it is that you did?” She asked.

84 threw the bouquet at her and glared once again.

Lena frowned. “Have you tried apologizing? Kara is a very forgiving person on my Earth.”

84 steered the car down a stone rode. “THIS ISN’T YOUR EARTH!” She yelled irritatedly/ “I’m trying to help you but please just… Just _stop!_ ”

Lena jumped at the sudden outburst. “O-okay.” She said in a meek voice. “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to hit a sore subject.”

84 side-eyed her. “Kara is a sore subject for most of us.” She said.

Lena frowned. “You keep saying us, but you aren’t explaining who you’re talking about.”

Lena 84 sighed heavily. “As I said…” She started as she handed Lena a cloth. “You’ll find out soon enough.”

Lena stared ominously at the cloth. “What is this for?” She asked in uncertainty.

“It’s a blindfold. Tie it around your head.” 84 instructed.

“What? No! _Absolutely_ not.”

84 slammed on the breaks and pinned her with a death stare. “Put. On. The. Blindfold.”

Lena gulped, wishing she had the nerve to stand up for herself, but she did as she was told… It was Lena 84’s Earth after all. “There.” She said in irritation when the blind fold was wrapped around her head.

“Good.” She heard Lena 84 say. “Now just a few more minutes.”

 

**XXX**

Five minutes later, Lena felt the car stop, and heard Lena 84 open and close her door. She was just about to reach for her blindfold before her door swung open. “Not yet.” 84 said meekly.

Lena sighed in annoyance, not at all able to comprehend why 84 was being dramatic. She got out of the car with the help of her doppelganger and followed her lead to an undisclosed location.

About two minutes into the walk, 84 stopped her and let go of her arm.

“Okay.” 84 said, her voice cracking. “You can take off your blindfold now.”

Lena did so immediately and found herself in a cemetery. She furrowed her brow in confusion as she stared down at her doppelganger, kneeling in front of a tombstone. “What are we doing here?” She asked as she watched her look alike gingerly place the Plumerias on the grave and rub the stone tenderly.”

Lena 84 looked at her over her shoulder, tears cascading down her face as she stood up and moved out from in front of the tombstone, giving Lena her first clear look at it.

As soon as Lena read the name on the tombstone, her heart shattered, and she collapsed to her knees.

Everything made sense now… 84’s melancholy behavior, her irritation when Lena suggested apologizing to Kara, her knowledge that Lena didn’t quite have…

“No…” She cried out shakily. “no no no no no.” She shook her head as she fisted her hands in her chest. “NO!” She cried out again.

Lena 84 nodded her head. “ _Yes_.” She cried. “This is what you have to look forward to if you keep on the path that you’re going on.”

Lena looked up at her doppelganger. “What kind of sick joke is this!?” She asked, tears rapidly falling from her eyes.

84’s lip quivered. “It’s not a joke… It’s me living my worst nightmare over and over every day of my life for the past five years.”

“Wh-why? Wha-what happened?”

Tears fell from both of their eyes as Lena 84 took a deep breath and began to try to explain to Lena what happened.

“She told me she was Supergirl, and the only thing I knew how to do was to be angry… To blind myself with bitterness and heartache, and push her as far away as possible.”

Lena swallowed. “Just like me…”

84 nodded. “Precisely.” She agreed, before continuing tearfully. “I denied our friendship, turned my back on her and all connected to her, and began focusing my attention fully on the cure for cancer.”

“Th-then what led to her death?”

Lena 84 let out a whimper. “Kryptonite weaponry.” She informed.

Lena furrowed her brow. “But I’m the only person that can make Kryptonite on my Earth.”

84 nodded. “I thought the same thing, but I was proven to be wrong in the worst way possible.” She informed, wiping her eyes on the sleeve of her shirt. “Kara needed my help, she knew she did, but she didn’t feel like she could come to me anymore. She didn’t think I would help her… and when she did finally try to get ahold of me at the very end, _moths_ later when she was terrified and felt helpless after finding out they had made Kryptonite grenades… I was on a plane, in the middle of an international meeting… and I ignored her call.”

Lena gulped and shook her head. “That… that doesn’t mean that this will happen on my Earth. J-just because something happens here doesn’t mean that it’ll happen on mine as well.”

84 pursed her lips as tears began to spew from her eyes once more. “I never got to tell her that I love her. I never got to hold her, or kiss her… I never got the chance to find out if she felt the same way. And now… Now Eliza and Alex can’t even step foot into the house that they once called home, because that’s where it happened.” She informed. “That where she died. They found out her identity, they took Eliza hostage, and then they blew her brain out with a desert eagle round made out of pure synthetic Kryptonite.”

Lena let out a sob. “No.” She shook her head. “That will never happen. I’ll make her a suit. I’ll answer the phone when she calls.”

84 Lena nodded. “Good. Don’t make the same mistakes I made.”

Lena shook her head. “I-I won’t.” Her heart was still shattered, and she was shaking. “B-but I’m not in love with her.” She denied with a shake of her head. 

84 sighed and shook her head. “I really thought that I had finally gotten through to one of you.” She sighed. “You _are_ in love with her, and you know it… You’re just too stubborn to let yourself admit it.” She reached for something in her pocket and eyed Lena again. "The only thing that keeps me going is vengeance, and as soon as I get vengeance on the men that did this to Kara, I'm going to lose all will to live... Don't follow in my footsteps, Lena 38. Don't be like the majority of us and end up miserable."

Lena stood up on shaky legs as she eyed the grave that broke her heart… and before she could ask 84 what she meant by that, a breach opened, and Lena 84 pushed her through.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Where do you think Lena 84 sent Lena? Did you enjoy this chapter?


	3. Chapter 3

Lena stood up in shock and was soon relieved to find herself standing in front of her apartment building. She was going to go straight up to her penthouse and find her phone so that she could call Kara, and ask her to meet with her… She couldn’t fathom going on in life without her.

As soon as she entered the building, however… she noticed small differences, like the walls being blue instead of purple… and the floor being marble instead of granite.

She furrowed her brow, and immediately came to the realization that Lena 84 had _not_ sent her back to her own Earth… Lovely.

Fear and worry threatened to take over her, but she fought them back and decided to make her way up to ‘her’ apartment. She took the stairs three at a time, and knocked on the apartment door as soon as she reached it, hoping that she would find her next doppelganger.

It immediately swung open to show another version of her, one slightly less haunted than the previous doppelganger, but still far sadder than Lena currently was. “I wasn’t expecting you so soon.” She croaked.

Lena crinkled her brow, once again confused by the situation at hand. “You knew I was coming?”

The other version of her rolled her eyes and pulled Lena inside. “ _Of course_ , I did… do you think that 84 and I don’t communicate?”

Lena had no idea what to say to that, and she opened her mouth, and closed it multiple times, (much like a fish) in an effort to find something appropriate to say.

The new Lena seemed to catch on. “You have absolutely no idea about what is going on… do you?” She asked in annoyance.

Lena bit her lip sheepishly and shook her head. “I’m afraid not.” She admitted.

The new Lena sighed and nodded her head. “Fifty-eight of us have landed on Earth 84.” She started as she sat down in a chair and gestured for Lena to take the one across from her. “Thirty of us didn’t get mad at Kara, but are no longer as close to her after denying our feelings and the pushing her away because we were scared of how we felt. Eight of us have failed to fix things between ourselves and our Karas because we didn’t know how to get over our egos, ten of us died before we could make amends, and seven of us are completely out of her life for various reasons... Only three of us have successfully integrated into Kara’s life after the reveal, and only one of us is truly happy… Only one of us managed to look past her own ego and finally admitted to herself that she was in love with her Kara, and fought hard and long to win her heart… Only one of us found her true place in the world.”

“The ‘us’ that you’re referring to… is multiple versions of me?” Lena asked, her head trying to wrap around the knowledge that there was a version of her out there that was romantically involved with their Kara.

The new Lena nodded. “Yes.”

“So... all of us, but one, are miserable?”

“Indeed,” The newest Lena informed. “and I happen to be one of them.”

Lena didn’t like her odds, but she fought back her emotions and nodded. “Okay… but I don’t understand why I’m here.”

The new Lena sighed. “You’re here because Lena of Earth 84, Lena of Earth 109, and Lena of Earth 9,886 have made a pact to help the next Lena that came to Earth 84 find her happiness, no matter how hard it would be for her… and you just happened to be the next Lena.”

Lena swallowed at the lump in her throat. “Whatever you have to show me can’t be worse than what Lena 84 showed me…”

The new Lena stood up and nodded. “You’re right.” She admitted. “But it will still give you a wake-up call.”

Lena sighed and shook her head. “I don’t think I can handle another shock like that. I just want to go to my Earth and hug my Kara. Is that too much to ask?”

New Lena smirked. “For us? Yes.”

 

**XXX**

Lena followed her newest doppelganger wordlessly as she led her through a city that looked familiar, yet foreign. The city was a vast, intricate, labyrinth of noisy, streets and alleys. She could hear the incessant honking of the vehicles, people talking, yelling, and arguing. Lights shone everywhere like stars in the midnight sky and terrifying buildings towered above them. There were no trees or city planted blooms, just columns of concrete soaring out of the sidewalk in an exact grid pattern. There were electric trams, buses, and the monorail - hardly any personal vehicles at all. It was similar to the National City on her Earth, but more chaotic, less green, and even less welcoming.

“I never got to ask, but what Earth are we on right now?” Lena asked after they had walked well over ten blocks.

Her doppelganger turned around and smiled. “Earth twenty-six.”

Lena nodded. “And where are we going?” She asked.

Lena 26 smirked. “To a restaurant.”

“A  restaurant??” Lena asked incredulously. “And what exactly are we going to do there?  Eat all of our sorrows away and try to ignore our problems?”

Lena 26 shook her head. “More like break our hearts for the sole purpose of knocking some sense into you.”

Lena’s frown grew tighter… She wasn’t so sure she could handle any more negativity… She’d already seen too much heartbreak in one day. “Do we really have to do this?” She asked pleadingly. “I can’t handle seeing an injured, or miserable Kara.”

Lena 26 laughed almost sadly. “She’s not hurt, and she’s not miserable either…Quite the opposite, actually.”

Lena crinkled her brows. “Then why on Earth would I be _heartbroken_? Kara is my best friend. I _want_ her to be happy and healthy.”

Earth 26 Lena sighed. “You _do_ understand that I’m _taking_ you to see what I want you to find out, right? Seeing helps push the point across far better than hearing. If I told you, you might not believe me.”

Lena frowned. “Is that why 84 took me to her Kara’s grave?”

Lena 26 rose her left eyebrow and smirked. “You’re catching on. _Finally_.” She teased before she stopped walking and pointed to a sign above them.

Lena squinted her eyes in puzzlement and furrowed her brow. “El-Dox Cafè.” She read aloud. “El... That's-,”

“Kara’s Kryptonian last name, yes.” Lena 26 confirmed.

“And Dox is…” Lena trailed off, trying to remember where she’d heard that name before.

“Brainy’s last name.” Lena 26 informed. “His real name is Querl Dox.”

Lena nodded. “That’s odd.” She started. “Because my Brainy went back to the future after Winn helped the legion defeat Brainiac 8.”

26 nodded. “Ours did as well… but then he came back. In every universe, he comes back within six months.”

“But… Why did they open a restaurant together?” She asked in confusion. “Kara is a reporter.”

Lena 26 smiled sadly. “After our fallout, I treated her poorly at the workplace, and eventually she quit.”

“So she opened up a _restaurant_?” Lena asked disbelievingly.

26 nodded. “After she defeated Agent Liberty, she and Brainy conspired together and decided that a Restaurant that sold both Pizza and Pot Stickers as their specialty would be the route for them to go, and they’re surprisingly very well off for doing so.”

“Why didn’t you ask her to come back to CatCo?”

“I did… on _several_ occasions, but I could never convince her to return. She’s got her own blog, with about four million followers, and she posts on that frequently. Plus, she likes running the restaurant, she sings three songs a night there, and she makes good money doing both the Restaurant and the Blog. She gets to do everything she love all at once, and she’s never been happier.” 26 explained sadly.

“Why can’t you just offer her _more_ money to be a reporter again?” Lena asked. “She loves reporting.”

26 rolled her eyes. “I _did_. She turned me down, no matter how desperately I begged for her to return because she loves being able to do all three of her favorite things… Eat, sing, and report.”

“Oh.” Lena pursed her lips. “I see.”

Her doppelganger offered her a small smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “I screwed up… and I paid the price… She’ll never help CatCo again, and she’ll never want to be as close as we used to be.”

Lena nodded, feeling a bit disheartened. “Are you on bad terms with your Kara too?”

“It’s... _complicated_. We’re friends, but… we’re not _best_ friends… She’s best friends with Nia Nal now.”

Lena frowned, and her heart dropped ten feet into the ground. She didn’t like the very real possibility that Nia could replace her as Kara’s best friend. “Oh.”

26 reached into her pocket and pulled out an image inducer. “Here, you’re going to need this… I’ll introduce you as my friend from college. If she knew what was going on, it could complicate our already intricate friendship, and I really can’t afford that. I’m already miserable enough; I don’t want to add to that and risk losing Kara altogether.”

Lena nodded and activated the inducer, completely understanding where Lena 26 was coming from. “What will my name be?”

“Um, I’m not quite sure.” She paused. “What about Kieran?”

Lena frowned. “That’s our middle name, wouldn’t that draw red flags?”

“My middle name is Lutessa.” 26 informed. “Kieran was my mother’s name, though.”

Lena froze. “W-what? My middle name is Kieran...after Mother. Why do we have different middle names?”

“My name is Lena Lutessa Thorul. I’m your counterpart on this Earth, but we have very different backgrounds. Right now, however, I’d really like to avoid that conversation and focus on why I brought you here.”

Lena sighed and nodded her head. “I suppose I can go with Kieran.” She conceded.

Lena 26 smiled and nodded her head, “Let’s go then.”

 

**XXX**

The first thing Lena noticed about the medium sized restaurant was that the paint was Supergirl’s colors… Blue and Red. The square tables with glass tops had small vases of yellow carnation flowers on each of them. The menus were under the glass tops of the tables and servers were running around rampantly with food on their trays. There were slow turning ceiling fans above, and quiet, yet upbeat music playing in the background.

She looked around and was impressed to see all but one small table filled. She followed Lena 26 to the hostess podium right next to the kitchen door, that came up was about chest height, and watched 26 ring the service bell.

Within seconds, Earth 26 Kara appeared behind the podium, most of her body hidden, just her head and shoulders showing. Her face was set on shock. “Lena! Hi, I haven’t seen you in a while. How have you been?” She asked conversationally.

Lena observed as 26’s face lit up like a Christmas tree on Christmas Eve night at the sight of Kara, but there was a wistfulness in her eyes, a sort of understated pain that Lena couldn’t quite place… Why couldn’t 26 just apologizes and mend the fences between she and her Kara? Kara 26 seemed to still care about Lena 26.

“I-I’ve been okay. T-Corp is going strong, and CatCo is as well… Still, it misses you.” 26 awkwardly stated, with a hopeful intonation in her voice.

Kara smiled tightly at the mention of CatCo. “Well, KaraDanvers.net is doing pretty well, and the restaurant is booming also.”

Lena 26 offered a fake smile as the pain and longing grew in her eyes. She nodded. “R-right, um… I just came by because I wanted to introduce my friend from college, Kieran, to you.” She finished as she gestured to Lena.

Kara 26’s eyes averted to Lena, and she smiled as she offered her right hand out to shake Lena’s hand. “Nice to meet you, I’m Kara.” She said sweetly.

Lena looked at there joined hands and noticed that Kara was wearing an extravagant gold and silver bracelet. “Wow. What an exquisite piece of jewelry.” She complimented.

Kara smiled down at it. “Awe, thank you so much! My husband has exquisite taste!”

Lena’s face instantly fell, her heart broke, and her stomach churned. She looked over to Lena 26 and saw the blatant pain on her face. She looked back over to Kara 26 and cleared her throat. “H-husband?” She inquired.

Kara smiled brightly and nodded, she opened her mouth to speak, but just before she could do so, Brainy 26 came out from the kitchen and smiled brightly. “Kara, I believe that it is time for your vitamins.” He informed as he gently caressed her back.

Kara 26 faced her _husband_ and smiled adoringly at him… She looked head over heels in love. “Thank you, sweetheart. I’ll take them in a minute.” She said.

Brainy smiled back at her and nodded, looking just as in love. “Okay. I will have them prepared for you whenever you are ready.” He informed. He then turned toward Lena and gave her a friendly smile. “Nice to see you again, Lena.” He said welcomingly before kissing Kara on her temple and walking back into the kitchen.

Lena couldn’t get over the intense jealousy she felt at seeing Brainy kiss Kara. She wanted to tackle him, to scream at him, to tell him to get his paws off of her Kara. But then she realized that it wasn’t _her_ Kara… It was Lena 26’s Kara, and even though it pained her to see Kara 26 with someone else, she couldn’t imagine what it must feel like for Lena 26.

Then she realized what she was feeling… She wasn’t feeling sick with jealousy because Kara was happy… She was feeling sick with  _jealousy_  because Kara was happy with someone, and that someone wasn’t _her_ … and it hurt like hell to see.

She finally acknowledged all of her feelings. She acknowledged the fact that she constantly longed for Kara's touch, Kara's presence, Kara's voice... even when she was _**furious**_ with her. She acknowledged hat she always wanted Kara to be safe, and worried about her health and wellbeing _constantl_ y, no matter if they were talking to each other or not. She acknowledged the fact that she felt butterflies in her chest when she saw Kara, that her breath was always taken away whenever their skin brushed against each other... She really was head over heels in love with Kara Danvers... and she might just have ruined her chances at winning Kara's heart.

She watched Lena 26 awkwardly fumble through a conversation with Kara 26, watched the tension between them, the awkwardness between them. It was painful to watch, but Lena couldn’t even imagine being that distant from her Kara. The thought killed her.

The thought of Nia being Kara’s best friend, the thought of Brainy being Kara’s husband, the idea of barely even being acquaintances with Kara, it was all too much to bear, and she fought back a sob, struggling to hold it together so that she didn’t blow her cover… but then something even worse happened.

As Kara was saying her farewell to them, she said something that destroyed her. “Well, I better go take my prenatal vitamins before Querl has a conniption fit.” She joked.

Lena 26’s face fell, the pain clear as day. “P-prenatal-,” She trailed off, her face one of utter despair.

Kara 26, being as obvious as her own Kara, didn’t seem to notice and smiled brightly as she clapped her hands in excitement, and Lena caught a glimpse of the wedding ring on Kara’s left hand. Which only caused her pain to multiply. “You didn’t hear?!” Kara asked in excited disbelief.

She walked out from behind the counter to display her mild baby bump. “Querl and I are having a baby boy!” She announced it utter euphoria.

Lena 26 stared at her with wide eyes, standing motionless and expressionless for a few moments, clearly in heartbroken shock. But after a few moments, she shook away the shock, and her face went into a mask of excitement for Kara, but Lena could see the absolute heartbreak in her eyes… could feel her _own_ heartbreak as well… This isn’t what she wanted for her life, this isn’t what she wanted for 26’s life either, but it seemed like there was no hope for Earth 26 Lena… _or_ Earth 84 Lena.

26 pulled Kara into a tight embrace and stared at the wall emotionlessly as she croaked out one devastated word…

“Congratulations.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you think Lena finally gets it?
> 
> Do you feel sorry for Lena 26?


	4. Chapter 4

They exited the restaurant, and Lena immediately wanted to make sure her counterpart was okay. “Are you alright?” She asked quietly.

Lena 26 leaned against the brick wall and bent over, cupping her hands over her mouth as tears spewed from her eyes. She let out a sob and shook her head. “I haven’t been alright in years.” She cried.

Lena frowned and lowered her head. She had no idea what she should do at that point, so she stood there silently as Lena 26 sobbed uncontrollably.

She hated seeing someone in so much agony, she wanted to relieve her from it, but she knew that she couldn’t… Whatever happened between 26 and Kara, _had_ to be nasty.

After about ten minutes, 26 stood up, straightened her shoulders, and wiped away her tears. “Let’s get to my lab.” She said. “That’s where I left my breaching device.”

Lena nodded. “Okay.’ She said, before following 26’s lead.

They walked wordlessly for about seven blocks, when Lena finally got the courage to ask a tough question. “Why can’t you just apologize and make amends?” She asked, scared that she might have crossed a line.

26 paused her walking and turned around, glaring furiously at her, causing Lena to gulp. “You don’t think that I tried!?” She asked. She laughed in annoyance and slowly shook her head. “After I treated her like crap for seven months, I came to apologize to her.” She informed. “We made amends, and I kept begging her to come back to CatCo, but she refused. I accepted it, because I didn’t want to start a fight, but I always let her that she was welcome at CatCo… Then she and Brainy opened the restaurant together. Then a few months later they told me they were together, and jealousy set in... I started pushing her away because seeing them so in love killed me, and I finally realized what my feelings meant… That I am _in love_ with her.   
I kept pushing her away, and she kept trying to fight for our friendship, but I wouldn’t let her in. My heart was broken, and I was angry at myself for not coming to the realization sooner. Then, one day I got an invitation in the mail… To their _wedding_. I didn’t want to go, I actually _refused_ to go, but then she knocked on my door, with a basket of treats in her hands, and asked me to be a bridesmaid. I wanted to say no, but with those sweet baby blue eyes looking at me pleadingly I couldn’t deny her a single thing. So, I agreed to be her bridesmaid… and I kept my feelings to myself. Kept telling myself that this is what Kara wanted, and that if Kara was happy, I would be too… but I was wrong.   
The more time I spent with her, while she gushed about Querl and their upcoming Kryptonian, Coluan, and American nuptial ceremonies, the more depressed I became.”

Lena frowned, none of that explained why Lena 26 and Kara 26 were no longer friends.. “So… what happened? What did you do to break your friendship so severely?”

Lena 26 smiled sadly. “I waited it out, tried my hardest to get through the pain every single day, until the day of the wedding. I was helping her with her dress, and I looked into those captivating eyes of hers, and I realized that I was really going to lose my chance to be with her. So, right there… I told her that I loved her. She laughed and said that she loved me too, that we were best friends and that she would always love me… But I didn’t let her finish, because I told her that I didn’t love her the way best friends love each other. That I loved her _more_ than that. Of course, Kara being the oblivious angel that she was thought that I meant that I loved her like a sister, and at that point… I gave up trying to explain how I felt, and I pulled her into a kiss.”

Pain over took Lena 26’s features, and tears brimmed her eyes again. “She pushed me away immediately. Pushed me so hard that I fell to the ground, actually.” She laughed sadly as she looked off into the distance, clearly replaying the moment in her mind. “I deserved worse, really. I deserved to be slapped for kissing her without her consent, but she just angrily told me to leave, that I had my shot, but I never took it… and that she didn’t have those feelings for me anymore. That she was in love with Querl and wanted to be with him, not me…” Tears fell from 26’s eyes as her lip began to quiver. “I’ve tried to make amends for that day, since then, but Kara has moved on from our friendship. She still cares, and she still saves me whenever my life is threatened, but she doesn’t reach out like she used to, and whenever I try, she just… well, she doesn’t accept my invitations to lunch much… maybe once or twice every four to five months. I’ll never stop inviting her, but I can tell that one day… she’s going to stop accepting, and now that she’s pregnant with Querl’s child, that day is going to be sooner than I’d imagined.”

Lena’s heart wrenched… she couldn’t imagine living in a world where Kara was with someone other than her… Where Kara didn’t stop by her place, or at L-Corp on a daily basis. She couldn’t imagine having to watch Kara be in love with someone else. “H-how do I stop this from happening?” She asked as a sob ripped from her throat. “How do I stop her from hating me?”

26 looked her in the eyes. “How long has it been since you last spoke to her?”

Lena gulped. “A bit over two months.”

26 frowned. “Well, at this point Alex has probably made her believe that you aren’t worthy of her friendship if you can’t accept her as Supergirl… and she’s most likely begun to harden herself towards you… You have to work at… _Hard_ , because she’s going to be terrified that you’re going to get angry at her and walk away, and maybe… just maybe, you’ll be able to win her heart.”

Lena gulped. She didn’t like her odds; in fact, she _hated_ them because there was only a 1 in 56 chance that she was going to win Kara’s love. But she was going to try, try with everything that she had, to earn Kara’s heart. “Do all Karas love their Lenas at one point?” She asked, hoping that the answer would be yes so that she didn’t have to worry that she was fighting for nothing.

Lena 26 bit her lip and shook her head. “Some Karas never feel that way for us... but that was only about six of them.”

Lena’s heart fell, there was a higher chance of Kara not having feelings for her than there was a chance of Lena winning her heart. “My odds aren’t very good.” She said sadly. “Maybe I should just try to be her friend again.”

26 shook her head. “You do that, and  she’ll end up with Brainy.”

Lena furrowed her brow. “You mean to tell me on every Earth that I don’t end up with her, she ends up with Brainy?”

Lena 26 made a so-so gesture with her hand. “Most of the time when she ends up with someone, it is Querl, but there are a few Earths where she ends up with someone else.” She explained. “On three Earths she gets married to Winn, on four Earths she gets married to Cat Grant, and on two others she is engaged or married to Lucy Lane. But those are just the Earths where she ends up with someone else… there are a lot of other ways that her story plays out. I can’t tell you those though.”

They continued walking, until they reached a building that looked almost exactly like L-Corp, but was ten stories taller, and the sign in the front said ‘T-Corp’ instead.

They entered the building, and rode the elevator down to Lena 26’s lab.

26 went straight over to her desk and opened a drawer, pulling out a breacher. She looked at her and smiled a tight smile. “Are you ready?” She asked.

Lena took in a deep breath. Not sure where she was going. “A-are you sending me home?” She asked.

26 smiled tightly, and without another word, opened a breach and pushed her through.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Where do you think Lena is going? What do you think of Lena 26's story?


	5. Chapter 5

Lena stood up from the ground where she landed after the breach and frowned. She wasn’t home… In fact, she was standing in front of a building that looked a lot like Kara’s apartment building, but instead of it being a brick building, it was made of stone, and had a different street number.

She began to walk towards the building, believing that, that was where she was supposed to go, when someone yanked her arm forcefully and pulled her into an alleyway beside the stone building.

“Ow!” She cried out as she rubbed her shoulder. “What was that for?” She asked before finally facing her newest doppelganger. She frowned when she saw the large scar that was on her face. It was a wide, sunken cicatrix, and its pink shininess was shocking.  was broad and rough. Whatever had caused this old wound was blunt, and the injury had clearly never been stitched or treated. It looked like it still probably hurt no matter how old it was.

Scarred Lena shook her head. “You can’t go in there without an Image inducer.”

Lena frowned. “W-why not?”

The other Lena rolled her eyes. “Because there can’t be _two_ Lena Luthors.”

“So, who am I supposed to be?” Lena asked.

Scarred Lena shrugged. “Anyone but Lena Luthor.”

Lena frowned and activated the inducer, frowning when she realized that it was calibrated to be a blonde haired, blue eyed, businesswoman of sorts. She hated deceiving Kara… even if it wasn’t her own.

She sighed and shook it off before turning back to her doppelganger. “So what heartbreaking thing are you going to show me this time?”

“I’m about to show you.” New Lena replied. “You just have to be patient.”

Lena frowned and followed her doppelganger into the building.

“How close to your Alex are you?” Scarred Lena asked as she entered the building’s elevator.

“Um…” Lena frowned. “I care about her a lot, but since Kara told me her secret identity, she and I have been at odds as well.”

Newest Lena shook her head. “Here on Earth 109, Alex and I were close… Very close. We bonded over our love for Kara, and we were almost like sisters.”

Lena swallowed. “You _were_?” She asked hesitantly. “W-what happened?”

Lena 109 looked away, pain and regret scouring her already tortured eyes. “I was trying to run from my feelings for Kara, and doing so led me to make the biggest mistake of my entire life...”

Fear crept up Lena’s spine, and she swallowed back the lump in her throat… What on Earth could possibly ruin Lena 109’s life? She wasn’t sure she was ready for what 109 was about to show her, but she had no choice but to follow her to what she presumed was Kara 109’s door.

The fear and anxiety was evident in Lena 109’s eyes as she knocked on the door, and Lena could only wonder what had happened to cause such palpable negative feelings to overwhelm 109, but as soon as the door opened, and an angry Kara opened the door, Lena’s heart broke.

“What are you doing here? I told you never to contact me again.” Kara 109 growled.

Lena’s heart ached as she watched Earth 109 Lena scramble for words through unshed tears. “I-… Kara, please. I miss you.” The tears in 109’s eyes finally fell, but Kara 109 didn’t rush to hug her. Instead, she stood steadfast in the doorway, with pure fury in her eyes.

“So, you ignored my wishes and came to my home? Maybe you should have thought about how much you’d ‘miss’ me before becoming an alcoholic.” Earth 109 Kara seethed.

Lena 109 kept her eyes on the floor, with her arms crossed over her chest and her body curved in on itself. “I-I said I’m sorry, Kara. If I could take it back, I would.”

“Right. But you can’t can you?” She growled. “And now, Alex is going to have to suffer for the rest of her life because _you_ couldn’t keep away from the alcohol. Do you think I could ever forgive you for that?”

Lena’s bottom lip quivered, and she shook her head as she furiously wiped at her eyes. “Kara, I never meant for it to happen. I-I just didn’t want to face up to my feelings.”

Kara scoffed. “You didn’t _mean_ to make a drunken mistake that cost my sister _everything_?”

109 shook her head, sobs ripping from her throat. “No.”

Kara was about to speak again until she saw Lena and she glared at her. “Who are you?” She asked.

Lena opened her mouth, ready to lie to Kara, when Lena 109 spoke up. “She’s my lawyer.” She said. “She’s here to give you paperwork to sign over all of my belongings to you.”

Kara narrowed her eyes at 109. “You think that giving me your money could ever make up for the fact that you paral-,”

Kara was cut off by a squeaking sound, before a wheelchair appeared, with Earth 109’s version of Alex Danvers sitting inside it. “Kara, calm down.” She soothed before eying Lena. “You need to leave, Lena.” She said sternly. “I don’t want your money, and neither does Kara. We just want to be left alone. We’ve told you this hundreds of times, we want nothing to do with you, and we will file for a restraining order if you continue to harass us. What you did to me is unforgivable, even to people as forgiving as us.”

“It’s been two years, Alex. I miss you both so much.” Lena sobbed out.

Kara stepped in front of Alex at that point, and fixed Lena with a deadly scowl. “Yeah? Well, you know what Alex misses? Being able to walk. Being able to bathe on her own. Being the Director of the DEO. She misses being able to stand up on her own. And you know what I miss? I miss being able to spar with my sister. I miss being able to have dance parties with her. You took that from her. You took her life away because you were afraid of coping with feelings that you could have easily told me about. I had feelings for you too, Lena. Everyone knew it except you. But now they’re long gone, and I can’t even look at you without feeling furious. So, no. I don’t want your money, and I don’t want your apologies. That time is far gone. Just leave, Lena. And this time, don’t come back.”

And without another word, she slammed the door in Lena 109’s face, causing Lena to fill with her own tears at the mere thought of Kara talking to her with hatred in her voice like 109 just experienced.

109 fell to the ground, tears gushing down her face as silent sobs wracked her body. “I love you.” She whispered at the door. “I’m so sorry, Kara. I love you.”

Lena couldn’t bear to watch Lena 109 like that, so she rushed over to her and helped her up. When both Lenas were standing, Lena wrapped 109 in her arms, and held her as she silently sobbed out her heartbreak.

“Shhh.” She cooed. “I know this has to be hard, but there is still a chance that Kara will forgive you for whatever you did.”

109 shook her head and pulled away from her counterpart. “There’s nothing that I can do. She hates me, and I can’t blame her for it at all.”

Lena frowned, and her heart plummeted, she couldn’t imagine ever doing something that would harm Alex, or ruin her relationship with Kara… but here she was, faced with the very real possibility that it could happen. “W-what happened?” She asked. “Why is Alex in a wheelchair?”

Lena 19 smiled sadly. “Let’s get out of here before we have this discussion.” She requested before turning and walking down the hallway.

 

**XXX**

They were in a taxi, headed for an undisclosed location, while Lena 109 continued to cry silently with her head leaning against the window.

Lena’s own heart was broken. She couldn’t imagine the insurmountable pain that 109 was undoubtedly feeling in that moment. She watched her counterpart and wondered how she’d ended up like this… Just a small, broken, shell of a women that was desperate for reconciliation with the woman she loved.

She was scared, she was lonely, she was guilt ridden, and she was devastated. Lena wanted her life to be the complete opposite of that, but she had no idea how to achieve that.

When the taxi cab finally came to a stop in front of an unfamiliar building.

She followed Lena 109 into the building, then onto an elevator that slowly rose them to the thirteenth floor, where they got off and walked to the last door on the entered into a small apartment.

Lena frowned, there were take-out boxes, empty liquor bottles, and trash strewn all about the floor, and unwashed dishes piling up in the sink.

“Don’t judge me.” Lena 109  said as she opened another bottle of alcohol and took a sqig. “I’ve sorta lost all motivation to keep going.” She admitted bluntly between gulps of liquor.

Lena frowned, and her heart longed for the woman before her to find happiness. “I-,”

109 shook her head and slammed the bottle onto the coffee table before plopping down on the couch in front of it. “I know what you’re thinking, and I’m going to answer all of your questions.” She said. “Just need to get tipsy first.”

Lena nodded, frowning as she watched the woman that she shared a face with chugging an entire bottle of $500 liquor. She wanted to speak up, to tell her that she’d had enough, but she couldn’t find it in herself to do so… She couldn’t imagine the turmoil going on inside her doppelganger’s mind.

After 109 finished half of the bottle, she faced Lena, and began to speak. “So,” She started. “It all started when I finally admitted to myself that I am in love with Kara Danvers.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you like this chapter?
> 
> What do you think happened between Kara, Lena, and Alex?


	6. Chapter 6

Lena furrowed her brow. “What did you admitting that have to do with anything?” She asked.

109 smiled sadly. “That was when I started drinking and running away from my feelings. I knew that there was a chance that Kara wouldn’t feel the same way, so I hid my feelings, and drowned my sorrow and pain in booze.”

Lena watched as the woman in front of her took another gulp of liquor and began to realize where this story was going… To a much darker place than she’d like to go. “So… you drank away your sorrows? And what? Drove drunk with Alex in the car? Isn’t that partly Alex’s fault for getting in the car with you knowing that you were drunk?”

Lena 109 shook her head. “It wasn’t a car accident.” She admitted. “It was much worse than that…”

Lena didn’t like the feeling that was swirling around in her gut. She could tell that whatever 109 did, it was horrendous. “So… what did you do?”

109 wiped away her tears and bit her lip that was trembling. “I offered to make Alex an upgraded suit… one that would give her the ability to fly.”

Lena’s stomach dropped. “Oh god…” She whispered.

Lena 109 nodded. “It’s worse than you think, you see… Because I tested three prototypes before I finalized the design, but I was so hungover and tired when I handed J’onn the suit to give to her, that when he asked me if I had made sure that the final design actually worked, I lied and said yes… Because I had a massive hangover and I just wanted to sleep.”

Lena gulped. “So… You weren’t even sure that the final design worked?”

109 shook her head. “No… and I let her fly with it that day anyway.” She wiped away stray tears, and swallowed visibly. “So, when she and Kara went out to fight a stray White Martian, it malfunctioned because it overheated. Kara was pinned by the enemy, and Alex was flying over to distract him, so Kara could gain the upper hand again, but it started overheating when she was half way there, and about 120 feet in the air. She started going down and hit the ground just as J’onn got there. She shouldn’t have survived, but Kara rushed Alex to Argo City where they had much more advanced technology and she survived… _barely_. She was in a coma for three months there, and Kara was by her side every step of the way.”

Lena shook her head, unable to imagine herself falling so low that she would lie about a suit that had the ability to kill, but then again… She knew how she was during a hangover, and the possibility that she would stretch the truth was there… She just never thought she would ever do something like that… But here she was, face to face with a reality where she _did_ sink that low, and where she lost everything that mattered to her because of it.

“C-couldn’t you find a solution where you could repair her spin?” Lena asked. “Like… nanobots, or a chip that could regenerate the marrow?”

Lena 109 shook her head. “Her entire spine, from the midsection, down… is completely shattered. There is no repairing it. She’s lucky enough to still be breathing. Not even Kryptonian doctors could figure out a solution… Even with Querl’s help.”

Lena’s world immediately began to spin, and she grabbed the table to her left to steady herself. “How many Earths does this happen on?” She asked through a croaky voice.

109 looked her dead in the eye. “This exact scenario? Two. Scenarios with the same consensus? A few. Hiding our emotions, or ‘settling’ for being just friends with Kara always ends in us being miserable, and in the most heartbreaking of ways.”

“W-what about the six Earths where Kara rejects me?” Lena asked, still not convinced that she should risk her already strained relationship with Kara over her feelings.

“They’re still best friends with their Lenas, and their Lenas are a lot less miserable because Kara knows, and gave them some closure, they’re still not completely happy, but they’re not miserable either… They’re at peace.”

Lena let out a shaky breath. So, if I do this… I if I tell Kara that I am head over heels in love with her, and she doesn’t feel the same way, she won’t be disgusted, or uncomfortable? She won’t end our friendship?”

Lena 109 shook her head. “No.”

Lena bit her lip, thinking. “But if I _don’t_ tell her, the odds are that I will lose her one way or another?”

109 nodded. “Precisely.”

Lea let out a shaky breath. “I’m scared.” She admitted. “Getting rejected by her would be the most excruciating thing I’ve ever gone through.”

Lena 109 stood up, and walked over to her, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. “If you wait too long, you _will_ get rejected, and you will lose your chance with her even if your Kara _did_ feel the same way at some point… and then you might _still_ lose her.”

Lena gulped, her heart pounding in her chest… the odds were stacked against her. “What if… What if she’s angry with me for how I reacted when she told me that she was Supergirl?”

109 nodded. “She will be hurt, and it will take a lot to convince her that you’re worthy of her trust again, but you’ll get there… As long as you don’t wait too long to tell her how you feel.”

Lena was overwhelmed, and terrified. She started to hyperventilate when she realized that there was little room for error. She had to play her cards perfectly in order to win Kara’s heart, and she was running out of time to do so.

“Hey, hey…” 109 cooed. “There’s still hope for you. There isn’t for the majority of us, but you… _you_ still have a shot.”

Lena swallowed thickly and shook her head, her breathing still coming in at a fitful pace. “I… I don’t think I can do this.”

109 shook her head and guided Lena to a recliner. “Not at this current moment in time, no. Because you’re having a slight panic attack.” She scooted over the liquor bottle. “Here… to calm your nerves.”

Lena pushed it aside, if she’d learned anything from 109’s predicament, it was that liquor was _never_ the answer. “No thank you.”

109 smiled and nodded, before taking another chug herself. “Good idea.”

Lena laughed through her fear and looked at Lena 109’s face once more, focusing on the scar. She slowly reached up and touched it softly with one finger. “How did this happen?” She asked, scared that she’d crossed a line by asking.

Lena 109 averted her eyes immediately. “I was drunk, and I was in the office, trying to make Alex a pair of bionic legs… needless to say, being drunk and working on mechanical things isn’t the brightest idea, and I crossed a set of wires that weren’t supposed to be crossed… it blew up and a piece of the shrapnel hit me straight in the face… I was too embarrassed to go to the hospital, so I just let it heal naturally… It’s only right that I scar, right? After what I did to Alex, I don’t deserve to be unmarred.”

Lena didn’t know what to say, but the pain in 109’s eyes was enough to get her to at least try to comfort the doppelganger. “I… It’s possible that she’ll forgive you some day. They both might. You’re working on making Alex some bionic legs, right?”

Lena 109 shook her head. “When I finally got the scans of Alex’s back, it showed too much damage in her spine for her to even be able to hold herself up straight, so even if I did make her bionic legs, they wouldn’t be very beneficial.”

Lena’s heart ached for her counterpart, and she tried to think of anything that she could do to help ease the torture and turmoil that was written all over her face and eyes, but she couldn’t think of anything… It was pretty clear that there was nothing either of them could do to make things right with Kara or Alex. “I’m so sorry that this all happened. I really wish that there was something that I could do for you.”

“There is.” 109 said.

“Oh? There is?” Lena asked, ready to jump at the chance to help out her doppelganger.

109 nodded as she pulled out a breacher device. “Yes. Fix things with your Kara, and tell her how you feel.” She ordered sternly before she pushed Lena through yet another portal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did Lena 109 finally send Lena 38 home?
> 
> What do you think of Lena 109's situation?


	7. Chapter 7

When Lena stood up this time, she was face to face with Kara’s apartment door.

Her heart leapt, she was _finally_ home, and now she was going to fix everything that she’d broken two months ago. She took a deep breath and stepped up to the door. “I can do this.” She breathed out before she finally took the plunge and knocked.

When the door opened, she was faced with Kara’s beautiful figure in a white button up, black slacks, and a brown belt. She was the epitome of perfection, and it took Lena’s breath away. “ _Kara_.” She whispered.

Kara smiled at her… _smiled_. That was more than she thought she was going to get… She thought that she was going to face fury, rage, even distrust… But here Kara was, in her home, _smiling_ at her like she was amused.

“Lena, why are you knocking?” Kara asked with a joyous laugh.

Lena frowned… Kara was _laughing_ at her… That wasn’t good. “B-because I wanted to see you.”

Kara pulled Lena close, her face mere centimeters from Lena’s. “Oh? Why’s that?” She asked huskily, a seductive look in her eyes.

Lena gulped, this wasn’t at all what she’d been expecting, but she wasn’t complaining in _any_ manner. Her heart was racing, her stomach was filled to the brim with hopeful butterflies, and her lungs were fighting her... This was everything she'd hoped for but never expected to receive. “Because I love you.”

Kara smiled. “Those words are music to my ears.” She husked.

Lena gulped, overwhelmed by all that was _Kara_. “R-really? I thought you’d be mad at me.”

“Why?” Kara pulled back, confusion evident on her face. “Did you knock because you thought that because of our fight I wouldn’t let you use your key?”

Lena frowned in confusion. Kara had said that her key was only for emergencies, that’s why she hadn’t used it… because as much as she wanted to fix things between her and Kara, it wasn’t an _emergency_. “I-,” She paused to swallow and try to regain some of her composure. “I just didn’t want to-,” She trailed off, not knowing exactly what she wanted to say.

“You just didn’t want to what?” Kara pried, her eyes filled with love that was targeted directly at her… Something Lena had never expected to see outside of her dreams.

“I didn’t want to make things worse.” Lena admitted. “I-I can’t lose you, and it’s taken me everything I’ve had for the past few years to hide it, but I can’t anymore, Kara. I’m in love with you… I’m sorry that we fought, but if you just give me a chance, I will do everything I can to fix this.”

Kara furrowed her brow, confusion, mixed with worry and sadness evident on her face. “Y-…” Kara shook her head, clearly trying to clear it. “You thought, that because we fought over Kale… _again_ … That you weren’t allowed to use your key into _OUR_ home?” She asked incredulously, completely perplexing the nervous as hell billionaire. “And what do you mean you’ve been trying to hide that you’re in love with me? Lena Kieran Danvers, we’ve been married for two years, how on Earth could you _possibly_ think that you’ve been hiding your love for me? I love you too.” Kara smiled, and cupped Lena’s face in her hands. “I love you, Lee. More than I could ever possibly love anything else… Fights happen, especially petty ones… It’s water under the bridge to me as long as it is for you too.”

Lena’s eyes were wide, and her heart was soaring from hearing everything that was _finally_ coming out of Kara’s mouth… even if she knew that it wasn’t _her_ Kara. “ _Kara_.” She croaked, trying to find the words to explain her circumstances, but then Kara was leaning in for a kiss, and although she knew she shouldn’t kiss another woman’s wife, she couldn’t find the resistance in her to pull away, luckily for her, however… One angry voice was enough to pull Kara away.

“Um… Get off of my wife… _Now_.” An Irritated Lena (Lena _Danvers_ , Lena inferred) ordered as she entered the loft, glaring at her wife and doppelganger.

Kara immediately flung Lena _Luthor_ to the floor and looked mortified. “Oh my god! You- You aren’t my wife!” She looked up to Lena Danvers with a sorrowful expression. “Baby… I-I’m so sorry, if I had realized I-,”

Lena Danvers shook her head and smiled. “I know baby… I just don’t like it when they touch you.”

Kara smiled at her wife and wrapped her in her arms. “I love you.”

Lena Danvers smiled. “I love you more, Kara Danvers.” She whispered against Kara’s lips, before locking lips in a passionate kiss. “I’m so sorry I tried to push Kale on you again. I know how much you hate it, and it wasn’t fair of me to put it in your ice cream.”

Kara giggled. “It was a clever trick, I’ll admit, but don’t ruin my foods with your food!” She teased.

Lena watched as they continued to embrace one another while talking, and she wished she could have that… She _needed_ to have that with Kara… It wasn’t fair that this one, single Lena got the girl, when all the others were miserable, and Lena refused to go down without a humongous fight… She wanted Kara, she loved Kara, and she would do _anything_ she could to fix things between them and win her affections.

Finally, after about ten minutes of ignoring her mere existence, the couple addressed Lena.

“You must be Lena thirty-eight.” Lena Danvers said, with an unimpressed glare. “You’re lucky 109 messaged me about your arrival when she did… because if I caught you lip locked with my wife, I would have beat your ass.”

Lena gulped. “I-I’m sorry, I-,”

The newest Lena raspberried her lips and laughed loudly and shook her head. “I’m just kidding. You don’t think I know the power that this woman holds over us? If it was your Kara, and I was in your shoes, I’d have been just as weak.” She walked over to Lena-38 and offered her a hand. “Welcome to Earth 9,886… The one Earth where I’m actually lucky enough to get the girl.

Lena let out a breath of relief. “I really couldn’t fight it.” She admitted. “I miss my Kara… More than anything, and they look identical, besides the different haircuts, so it was impossible for me to pull away.. I just want to get home, so I can find my Kara and fight to the death for her, but I’m terrified that I already screwed up too much… I’m scared that she won’t want me anymore if she ever even did, to begin with.”

The married Kara and Lena frowned and shared a knowing look before Kara 9,886 nodded and kissed her wife before exiting the apartment.

Lena watched the pure love and admiration in their eyes, the ease in which they communicated without uttering a word, and her heart leapt at the realization that having _this_ with her Kara _was_ a possibility… she just had to work for it… and work _hard_.

“How did you do it?” Lena asked as soon as Kara 9,886 left.

Lena Danvers turned to her and smiled knowingly. She moved her head to direct Lena to the couch. “Come have a seat.” She said kindly.

Lena frowned, but did as she was asked, sitting on the very edge of the couch, bouncing her leg in anticipation… She needed to get back to her Kara, there was no telling how much time had passed since her departure from Earth 38. “I really need to get going.” She said.

Lena 9,886 returned with a photo album in her hand, and she shook her head with a kind smile. “109 wouldn’t have sent you here if she thought you were ready to face your own Kara yet. You still have some worries, or doubts and that’s why you’re here.”

Lena shook her head. “N-no. I was still worried that risking our friendship wouldn’t be worth it, but as soon as I saw the love you share with your Kara, I realized that I’d risk _anything_ for a chance to have that with _my_ Kara.”

9,886 laughed knowingly. “38, as soon as you step foot on your Earth you’re going to cower and go back to being ‘just friends’ until you lose your Kara too… believe me; I can read you like a magazine because you _are_ me.”

Lena swallowed, and averted her eyes, resigning to the fact that Lena Danvers was most likely right… She had a boost of confidence at the moment, but she wasn’t sure how long it would last. “I just want to fix things between us.”

“How bad are they?” The married Lena asked.

Lena averted her eyes. “Pretty bad… I haven’t talked to her in over two months.”

“So, she came out as Power Girl, and you got angry because of it?” Lena 9,886 asked. There was a hint of disapproval in her voice, but the overall there was understanding.

“Well, on my Earth she calls herself Supergirl, but yes, I did… and I feel terrible now that I realize she wasn’t lying when she said she was trying to protect me.”

Lena nodded her head, and finally opened the photo album. “Let me show you _exactly_ what you could have.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think is going to be in that photo album?


	8. Chapter 8

Lena’s heart palpitated as Lena 9,886 opened to the first picture in the album. It was clearly taken by a third person, as Lena was knelt down on one knee holding up flowers, in front of Kara, who was standing in the doorway of her apartment. Kara had her hands cupped over her mouth, with visibly teary eyes… The caption was: _The day I finally took the plunge._

Lena’s eyes were wide; the moment looked magical. “I-… _wow_. You really _did_ take the plunge.” She said in awe, as her heart filled with hope.

9,886 nodded with a chuckle. “She turned me down that day.”

Lena furrowed her brow, her eyes narrowing as she studied the picture. “Then why do you have a picture of it?”

Lena Danvers looked at the memory with fondness in her eyes. “Because that was the moment that I knew that I’d do anything to earn her love.”

“You…” Lena paused, at a loss of what to say. “Why did she turn you down? She looks so _happy_!” Lena asked, still completely perplexed about why someone would keep a picture of a failed romantic gesture.

9,886 smiled sadly. “I didn’t react well when I realized that Kara was Power Girl either.” She admitted. “She and I went about a month with radio silence… I completely ignored her existence, and then I randomly showed up at her house confessing my love for her… _Of course_ , she turned me down.”

Lena frowned as curiosity overtook her. “What made you decide that you were going to fight for her?”

Lena Danvers smiled and averted her eyes to the ground. “As soon as I saw Lena 84’s fate, I immediately decided to change my destiny…” She admitted. “I _knew_ that I was in love with Kara, and as soon as I saw her Earth 84 grave, everything I knew and felt changed. I realized that my priorities weren’t in the right order. I was prioritizing my ego over my heart. I wasn’t mad that Kara lied to me, I was mad that I couldn’t see that my best friend was a superpowered Kryptonian that saved the world on a regular basis. I knew that she had good reasons behind keeping her identity a secret for so long… I knew that Kara wasn’t doing it out of maliciousness. I knew she cared about me; I was just embarrassed and ashamed. I was just embarrassed and ashamed for letting a ponytail and glasses blind me because I was in love.”

Lena let 9,886’s words sink in, and realized that she had done the same thing… She had never doubted that she could trust Kara… even after she told her about being Supergirl, and she never once doubted that Kara cared about her. The anger and resentment Lena had been feeling, was actually aimed at herself instead of Kara, but she took it out on Kara anyway. Sure, she was a little hurt that Kara waited so long to tell her, but she understood why she didn’t, and she realized that she herself would most likely have done the same thing. She had treated Kara far more unfairly than she could even comprehend… and couldn’t imagine how she was going to win Kara’s forgiveness after this.

“It’s been over two months for me.” She admitted. “It’s been nearly _three_ months if I’m being completely truthful. How will I ever earn her love after that?”

Lena 9,886 smiled and sighed. “You have to work to earn her forgiveness first.” She informed. “Winning Kara’s trust and forgiveness had to happen, before she even considered going on a date with me. She was hurt, and felt like I didn’t care about her at all, but in reality she’s the thing I care about most in this world. So, I showed her that. I sent her flowers, chocolates, never stopped showing her that I could be a good friend still, I was there for her when she needed me, and then finally, about a year later, I asked her on a date again… And although she was hesitant at first, she said yes, and I took her to her favorite Thai place. It was slow, grueling, and agonizing but it was worth it. She’s been abandoned a lot in her life, she’s lost a lot, and me abandoning her like that hit her harder than I realized it would. It sent her into a depression because she felt like she was betrayed all over again. She had to work through a lot of things to even be able to be my best friend again, and even then, she still didn’t trust me fully, and I can’t really blame her for it. Her parents abandoned her and sent her away in a pod, when she reached Earth, a completely foreign planet with completely foreign customs, the one person she had left abandoned her and dropped her off at the Danvers’. Her sister was the only _real_ constant in her life, and now that Alex is engaged to Kelly, she doesn’t really see her as much as she used to. Winn went to the future and got married, James went to prison for continuing his Guardian charades, and Cat Grant went to D.C and now is a Congresswoman, so they no longer see each other. She’s been constantly abandoned or sidelined her entire life, so when I (her best friend) did it to her in the most brutal way possible, it cut her deeper than a knife. I didn’t take into consideration all that she’d been through. I didn’t give her a chance to explain herself, I just insulted her, and left her in the dust without a second thought, until the day that I stumbled onto Earth 84 and found out that Kara could, in fact, be killed, and that It could happen all because I was idiotic enough to get mad about her secret.”

Lena nodded. “I know I screwed up.” She admitted. “I just don’t know if I’m ready to go through the pain that fighting for her is going to cause.”

Lena Danvers smiled. “It will always be worth it, though.” She said. “Because having Kara as my wife is the best thing that has ever happened to me. She makes me happier than I ever thought possible. The pain is worth the pure and utter bliss that comes after.” She asserted. “If I could take back my asinine outburst, and just accept that I was angry with myself and not Kara, I would; because the year  that I spent working to fix things with Kara was absolutely painful, and I wasn’t quite sure I’d earn her love, but I never gave up, because as long as there was even a smidgen of a chance, I wasn’t going to stop working to win Kara’s love and trust.”

Lena looked at the album once more, and flipped through the pages in silence as her heart filled with the strongest mixture of both yearning and hope she’d ever felt. There were pictures of surprise birthday parties, concert dates, gala dates, game nights where Kara held Lena in her nap, with the purest look of adoration on her face as she stared at her Lena. The wedding pictures with Kara in black dress pants, a white Tuxedo shirt, with black suspenders... She looked utterly  _Stunning_ as she stared at her Lena with the look of purest and most beautiful form of love Lena had ever seen.

With each passing picture, there was a stronger sense of determination inside of Lena. She _wanted_ this.

She wanted to see Kara look at her with _that_ type of love in her eyes. She’d never seen that look before, she’d seen something _similar_ directed at her friends, including Lena… but she’d never seen such strong love and devotion in Kara’s eyes, especially not directed at her; and she would do anything and everything she could to change that. “I want this.” She said as she pointed to a picture of Lena Danvers kissing her wife at their first anniversary party. They looked absolutely perfect together, with Lena Danvers’ arms wrapped around Kara’s neck, and Kara’s arms around her wife’s waist.

Lena 9,886 smiled brightly at the photo. “That day was perfect.” She informed. “But can I let you in on a little secret?”

Lena furrowed her brow but nodded anyway. She needed all the insider’s information she could get. “Absolutely.”

9,886 took the album out of Lena’s hand and flipped to a page that Lena hadn’t seen. She pointed to the moment that shocked Lena to her core, and set her heart racing… She’d always pictured that _she_ would be the one to propose. She’d never thought that she’d see a picture where Kara was in a white suit, knelt down in front of her doppelganger, with a diamond ring being offered up to Lena.

She was just about to say that this was better than any dream she’d ever imagined, but 9,886 spoke before she could. “That day, I said no.” She informed.

Lena frowned, as she felt fury overwhelm her. HOW DARE someone… _especially_ someone like herself, turn down Kara. “What?!” She asked in incredulity. “What the hell were you thinking?”

Lena 9,886 lowered her head and shook it as she exhaled slowly. “I panicked.” She admitted. “We were so happy, but I always felt unworthy of her.” She admitted. “In all honesty, to this day, I still do. But when it lead to Kara leaving me because she thought that I would never be read to take the next step, I straightened my act up, and then proposed to her; because I realized that although I may not be worthy of her, I’m what she wants… and if I’m what she wants, who am I to refuse her my love? She deserves someone that will honor, cherish, and respect her… I can do all of that, and so can you. So, if you’re anything like me; (and I know you are) you will have days, maybe even weeks, where you question whether or not you should be with Kara because of how unworthy you are, and if you do, take my advice, and ignore those thoughts, or tell Kara about them, because if you don’t, you’re going to regret it and cause more issues than you intend to.”

Lena swallowed back tears as she realized that she could have very likely done the same thing if she were in 9,886’s shoes. “I don’t want to mess this up with her.” She admitted. “I want to be the best person imaginable for her.”

9,886 nodded with a bright smile. “That’s the spirit.” She exclaimed. “I wish I had been able to talk with one of my alternate selves to give me pointers on how to behave in our relationship, but I guess that so far I’m the only one that’s been able to figure out exactly what to do. I’m eternally grateful that I’ve earned Kara’s heart, but I want you to know that it’s not always going to be rainbows and lollipops. There are going to be arguments, there are going to be disagreements, and there is going to be self doubt and self loathing, but you have to fight through it all together. You have to be a team. There can be no secrets, no lies, no half truths, because if there are, toxicity will set in, and it will slowly eat at your relationship. I know that things were never good between us and James… not even between us and Jack, but with Kara, everything is different, because Kara is _Kara_. She’s kind, selfless, loyal, and understanding. She wants to make you as happy as you want to make her, but she can’t do that if you don’t tell her everything you’re feeling. So, if and when you finally earn her love, you’ve got to be an open book, and she will do the same. If you’re having doubts about your worthiness, tell her… She will assuage your doubts and fears with endless amounts of love. If you’re uncomfortable with her doing certain things, tell her, talk it out, and come to an agreement.” She looked at Lena and smiled as she grabbed her hand and gently rubbed her thumb across it. “I know it’s going to be terrifying. You’re going to be scared as hell about being a nuisance, but she wants to know, how you’re feeling. She _wants_ to know if you’re having doubts. She wants to be a team with you, and she will never think of you as a burden.”

Lena gulped and nodded. “This is going to be hard.”

Lena 9,886 laughed and gave her a small nod. “It will be for a while, yes.” She gave her a large smile. “But loving Kara is the easiest thing I’ve ever done, so it got easy _really_ quickly.”

Lena smiled at the thought of getting to love Kara endlessly. “What if I screw this up?” She asked as terror swept through her bones. “It sounds like everything I’ve ever wanted, but what if I mess it up like you did, but she doesn’t take me back?”

Lena Danvers sighed. “That’s a possibility, I’m not going to lie.” She said. “But if you mess up the same way I did, after everything I’ve told you, I will personally come to Earth 38 and kick your ass for real this time.” She asserted.

Lena bit her lip and looked down. This was what she wanted, this was what she _needed_ but how the hell was she supposed to make up with Kara after nearly _three_ months of ignoring her? “She’s going to be a lot angrier with me than your Kara was,” Lena stated, sadness and worry overtaking her. She lowered her head and scrunched her eyes to fight back the tears. “She might never want to hear from me again.”

Lena 9,886 rubbed her back slowly and comfortingly. “There are a lot of variables that are the same in our situations, and there are a few that differ, but the main common variable we both have is that we love Kara more than anything else in the multiverse, right?”

Lena nodded, tears finally escaping past her eyelids. “Yes, but loving someone isn’t enough to win their hearts… You have to treat them with respect, show them that you’re capable of listening and understanding. There’s so many things that you have to earn, like trust… and I broke her trust and abandoned her… for _three months_. How am I ever supposed to make up for that?”

“Well, I’m going to be honest… It wasn’t easy for me to get over the hurt.” Lena heard an all too familiar voice say.

She turned around, and her heart leaped regardless of the fact that it wasn’t _her_ Kara. “How did she finally earn back your trust?”

Kara sat next to her wife and grabbed her hand before looking at Lena with a tender smile. “It wasn’t easy for either of us.” She informed. “I wanted to forgive her, I wanted to be able to trust her, but it took a _lot_ for it to happen. To be honest, for the longest time I didn’t even think a relationship between us would form after we became friends again. I had never thought about her that way until she came to my apartment with flowers and her heart on her sleeve. After that, a relationship with her was all I could think about.” She admitted. “While I was trying to learn to trust her again, I kept thinking ‘ _do I feel that way for her too?’_ in the back of my head. I didn’t really think that I did, but the more we mended our friendship, the more my heart grew to love her, and eventually, I couldn’t imagine not giving us a chance, so when she asked me out to dinner again, I jumped at the opportunity, and I never looked back. Now, I realize that I was in love with her all along, I just didn’t see it because I was blinded by false ideologies of what love looked like. (i.e. my relationships with not only James, but Mon-El as well). I thought that what I had felt for them was love, but it was just a strong need to belong to someone, it was never about love with either of them, but with Lena? With Lena it’s _everything_. She’s my rock, my constant, my world. I couldn’t even begin to imagine a life where I’m not with her, and when she told me about all the Earths where we _aren’t_ together, it made me hold onto her that much tighter. I don’t know how there are so many Earths that we aren’t with each other, but I’d like to take comfort in the fact that you are going to try to be the next Lena Danvers.” She smiled. “It’s not going to be easy, but I promise you, if your Kara is anything like myself, once you have me, as long as you’re honest and loyal to me, it’ll be almost _impossible_ to lose me.”

Lena swallowed back the lump in her throat. “You really think that I can do it?”

Kara 9,886 smiled with a nod. “I know you can.” She admitted. “Because I try my hardest to forgive everyone for everything. _Especially_ my best friend.” She finished with by squeezing her wife closer to her, and they shared a look of pure love before leaning in and kissing each other passionately.

Lena stared in awe of the love they shared… She never thought it possible that she could have that with Kara… but now she was staring at the very real possibility that she just might have it one day.

They pulled apart, and Lena Danvers giggled gleefully as Kara 9,886 planted kisses all over her face.

Lena smiled. She wanted what they had, and now she knew that she _could_ have it… She just had to fight for it.

The multiple face kisses turned back into a slow, passionate liplock for a few more minutes before they finally pulled apart, and Kara blushed as she realized they still had company. ‘S-sorry, I just get so caught up in her that I forget that there are other people in the world.” She admitted.

Lena smiled, her heart melting from hearing _any_ version of Kara talking about _any_ version of Lena Luthor so romantically.

Lena Danvers was also blushing furiously as she reached into her back pocket and pulled out a interdimensional breacher. “Ready to go?” She asked before she activated it.

“You’re not going to push me through it?” Lena asked teasingly.

Lena Danvers smiled. “I’m not miserable and stoic.” She joked. “I’m beyond euphoric so I’m nicer than the other versions of ourselves.”

Lena smiled, she loved that being with Kara made her so much happier. “Am I going home?”

Lena Danvers smiled. “I asked if you were ready to leave.”

Lena sighed, resigning to the fact that she wasn’t going to be clued in onto where her destination was. She smiled at the happy couple, who were still cuddling into each other on the couch. “Thank you for being such kind and caring hosts. I hope that you continue being happy for many decades to come.”

Kara smiled and pointed to her wife’s engagement ring. “The band is made out of a type of X-Kryptonite, so we will be living _millennia_ together.” She informed proudly.

Lena smiled and nodded, taking notes… _just in case_. She smiled.  “Well, I hope that you enjoy your Kryptonian lifetime together.” She said sincerely before she walked through the portal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think of Lena and Kara 9,886's relationship?
> 
> Where do you think Lena is headed now?


	9. Chapter 9

Lena stepped out of the portal and looked around as a smile graced her face.

She was finally  _home._

The first thing she did was run over to the desk. She opened the drawers where she had shelved her phone for the past three months and immediately grabbed the phone. She powered it on and read through the flurry of texts she’d received within the past three months.

 **Kara:** _Lena, please just let me explain._

 **Kara:** _You’re my best friend, Lena I don’t want to lose you._

There were hundreds upon hundreds more throughout the first month and a half that Lena had ignored her, but the last three broke Lena’s heart, and made her realize just how much work she had to do… because Kara hadn’t sent her another text in almost two months.

 **Kara:** _Alex says that if you were my true friend, you’d at least give me the chance to explain, and I know you’re a true friend, Lena. So, please just let me tell you my side._

 **Kara:** _I guess by now you’ve probably changed your number, huh? :’(_

 **Kara:** _Goodbye, Lena. :(_

“ _Kara,”_ She cried out. She wanted to call her. She wanted to reach out, pull Kara in, and apologize for not realizing where her true anger laid; but she knew that wasn’t possible. She had heard Lena of Earth 9,886’s story. She knew that there would be a fight to win Kara’s friendship back before she _ever_ would get Kara’s romantic interest. _Especially_ since it had been three months instead of just one like Lena 9,886.

She immediately called her driver and grabbed her purse before she rushed downstairs, exited the building, and got into the car that was waiting for her outside. She got in, and immediately had the driver take her to a special shop across town… She knew that Lena 9,886 went to her Kara’s door with flowers, but Lena knew her Kara, and she knew something that Kara loved even more than flowers… _food_.

 

**XXX**

After stopping at the shop, her driver took her to Kara’s building. She stood outside of it, staring up at the fourth-floor window to Kara’s apartment. Her heart was thumping in her chest, her palms were sweating profusely, and she couldn’t fight back the anxious butterflies that were swarming viciously in her stomach.

This was it.

This was the end-all be-all. This was either going to make, or break her relationship with Kara, but regardless of how it went, Lena wasn’t going to give up on mending things with her. She saw how her life would end up without Kara, and she saw what the future _could_ hold for them if Lena made things right, how happy and in love they could be.

She knew that their happy ending wasn’t guaranteed, and that in fact, it had a higher probability of not happening than anything else; but she was going to fight to the death for it. Until Kara said “I do” to someone else, she would fight for her.

She finally let out an anxious breath, straightened her shoulders, and walked into the building… Her faux confidence lasted her until the elevator dinged and the doors opened to the fourth floor… _Kara’s_ floor.

Her heart began to beat even more rapidly than it had when she was outside. Her body started trembling with fear, and her stomach began churning in apprehension. She was just about to turn back and leave the building when Lena 84’s voice rang out in her mind. _“Don't follow in my footsteps, Lena 38. Don't be like the majority of us and end up miserable."_

Remembering Kara’s grave, then Kara and Brainy’s love, and Kara’s hate filled eyes glaring at her finally gave her the push she needed to change her course of action. She turned around and walked straight to Kara’s door. But when she rose her hand, she froze.

She couldn’t do this… What if Kara had already found a significant other? What if she turned Lena away immediately without giving her a chance to apologize… What if she _hated_ Lena?

She gulped, her throat constricting, when she closed her eyes and remembered the love Lena and Kara 9,886 shared. The passionate kisses, the tender embraces, the loving arguments, the over abundant face kisses. She smiled, and her heart filled with joy. She _needed_ that with Kara, and she’d go through whatever pain was necessary to get that with her. She inhaled deeply attempting to abate the butterflies in her stomach, before she _finally_ knocked on the door.

It took about a minute, but the door finally opened, and Kara was standing there in a short, tight fitted red dress, hoop earrings, and black high heels; she looked beautiful… she looked ready for a _date_.

Lena’s heart sank as she swallowed back tears. “ _Kara_.” She whispered.

Kara frowned. “Lena?” She asked, her voice unfeeling. “What are you doing here?”

Lena grit her teeth together for a moment; debating on whether or not she should tell Kara the truth, when she heard Lena 109’s command echo through her mind. _“Fix things with your Kara and tell her how you feel.”_

She cleared her throat. “I-I wanted to talk to you.” She informed before she handed Kara the red heart-shaped box filled with expensive Swiss chocolate. “A-and I also wanted to give you these.”

Kara eyed the box warily as she accepted it. “What are these for?”

Lena swallowed. “They’re an apology.” She said, her voice shaking unstoppably.

Kara stared at them, not saying anything… so Lena kept on pushing for the conversation to continue with the only question swimming around in her mind. “Have a hot date?”

Kara looked up from the heart shaped box and gave Lena a perplexed look. “I’m just going out for drinks with my friend Lucy.”

Lena’s heart set afire with jealousy as she remembered being informed that on two Earths, Kara ended up with _Lucy Lane_ … The exact same Lucy Lane that Kara was having drinks with that night… Which meant Lena was closer to losing Kara than she had initially thought.

She gulped, her stomach churning. “L-Lucy? Lucy _Lane_? I thought she was in D.C. starting up her own law firm?”

Kara nodded. “She is.”

Lena frowned as her heart burned. “Then how are you-,” She cut herself off, realizing that Kara was going to _fly_ to D.C. to see Lucy. “ _Oh._ ” She whispered, defeat overwhelming her.

Kara pursed her lips and nodded. “Yeah…” She said awkwardly.

The tension between them was palpable; it was so thick, Lena felt as though she could cut it with a knife. She hated it; she missed seeing Kara’s smile, hearing her laugh and seeing the way her eyes lit up as she did so… “I miss you.” She admitted.

Kara glared at her. “Really? Because it sure seems to me that you don’t give a rip whether I’m alive or not now that I’ve told you who I am.” She deadpanned. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go, or I’m going to be late.”

Lena watched as Kara tried to close the door. Fear of losing Kara took over her, and without a second thought, stuck her foot between the door and the doorframe so that it couldn’t close.

Her heart was pounding rapidly, her breathing was labored, and all she could do was hope that this wasn’t going to ruin her chances at earning Kara’s love. “Wait…” She practically pleaded.

Kara pulled the door back open and crossed her arms, her face not at all warm and sunny like it used to be, which tore at Lena’s soul... She hated this entire situation and would give anything to turn back time. “What is it?” She asked coolly.

Lena bit her lower lip to stop it from trembling. “I’m sorry.” She apologized, her voice tremulous.

Kara raised her brow. “If you were sorry, it wouldn’t have taken you three months to come to me.” She said. “Saying sorry to me now is just covering a bullet hole with a band-aid... Breaking me again yet expecting everything to be fixed. You abandoned me, Lena. Over me finally telling you about a secret that I’d been wanting to tell you for years but was terrified to do so because of your safety. When I finally realized that I could tell you without putting you in more danger, you blow up on me, end our friendship, and acted like I never existed… For _three MONTHS_ , Lena. I get that I took you by surprise, but really? _Three months_? I just… I can’t fathom doing that to anyone, for any reason. I wouldn’t just ghost someone like that; I would at least tell them not to expect a call from me ever again.”

Lena couldn’t fight the tears any longer, and they came gushing like a broken dam; her heart was _destroyed_. “I know, Kara, I know that I messed up. I should have talked to you about it, let you explain more, and tried to understand your side of things. I should have never abandoned you the way I did, and I should have realized that it was _your_ secret to tell and that no one, regardless of their position if your life is entitled to your secret. I realize that now, and I want to do whatever I can to make it up to you. Please, Kara… give me a chance to show you that I can be trusted. That I can still be the friend you deserve. Please, reschedule your drink night with Lucy, and lets just try to talk this through, okay?” She was begging, she knew she was, but she just didn’t care. Luthors never broke, they never pled for their life, or their loved one’s affection… Which was how she knew that she wasn’t truly a Luthor; because right then, in that moment, she was _begging_ for Kara.

Something in Kara’s eyes changed, but they swiftly returned back to their stoic expression, and she shook her head no. “Thank you for the chocolates, Lena.” She said politely. “But I can’t reschedule. She really wants to see me.”

Lena’s heart broke, Lucy was whisking Kara away from her in her most desperate times. “Please, Kara.”

Kara shook her head. “I have plans, Lena. Have a good rest of your night.”

Lena stopped the door with her foot in one last desperate attempt to keep Kara there with her. “Kara, please. Don’t go with Lucy. I-I don’t want to lose you.”

Kara glared at the offending foot before she looked back up and met Lena’s eyes with her steely blue ones. “Really? Because for the past three months you didn’t even care that I exist.”

Lena gulped. She wasn’t doing a very good job at apologizing. “I-I know it may have seemed that way, but I _do_ care, Kara. I really do. More than you could possibly imagine.” She swallowed back the lump in her throat and persevered through her monolog. “I want to earn back your trust. I want to earn back your friendship.”

Kara looked at her phone. “I have two minutes to be on time, and it takes three minutes to get there. I have to go.”

Lena’s heart fell to the floor, but she nodded her head. “Y-yes, of course. Maybe another time?”

Kara gave her a strained smile, that didn’t reach her eyes, nor did it even attempt to alight them. She made one small, curt nod before replying. “Maybe another time.” She affirmed before she closed the door, and Lena heard the whoosh of her putting her Supersuit over her dress before flying out of her window.

Lena’s shoulders slumped, and she cast her eyes down in a melancholy gaze as dejection filled with heartbreak filled her. She knew that Kara wasn’t going to just forgive her, she knew that it was going to be a fight to win Kara’s trust back, and she knew it was going to hurt… she just hadn’t imagined it would hurt _this much._

Then, she remembered where Kara was going… and _who_ Kara was going to be with; and her worries, heartache, and dejection grew even stronger in her heart… This was going to be a long, tedious, and painful experience.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you think Lena can fix things with Kara? 
> 
> Will Lucy be a problem?


	10. Chapter 10

Lena sat on her couch the morning after her talk with Kara, with an aching heart as she scrolled through her Instagram feed. There’d been a lot that she’d missed over the past three months, and it pained her to see so much change that she’d been so unaware about. Alex was dating a new woman named Kelly, who was apparently James’ sister. Eve was dating Kara’s newest friend Nia, and from what she saw, J’onn was dating a mysterious new lady.

She kept scrolling, when she froze as she saw a picture on Kara’s Instagram that had been posted the night before, and it tore her heart to shreds... It was a picture of Lucy and Kara that completely devastated her. Lucy was on Kara’s lap, with her arms wrapped around Kara’s neck, as she pressed a kiss on the Kryptonian’s temple. Kara had her arms around Lucy’s waist and was smiling brightly into the camera.

Now, Lena was no _guru_ on friends, nor had she had any friends before she had met Sam, but she and Kara had been best friends for two years, and they had _never_ touched each other like that… although Lena had wanted to on many occasions. So, to Lena… the picture made it clear that Lucy’s intent was to gain more than just drinks with a friend… and perhaps Kara was okay with it… Maybe she even _wanted_ Lucy.

She swallowed the bile that rose in her throat and searched for the caption… but the only thing Kara had typed under the picture was two heart emojis. Lena fought her tears. She couldn’t cry. She didn’t have time to; she needed to get over to Kara’s apartment and come clean about her feelings. She needed to fight for her.

She grabbed her jacket, and her keys and rushed out of the building. She didn’t have time to call for a driver, this was urgent, so she was going to have to drive herself.

 

**XXX**

On the ride over, she practiced her speech over and over in her mind. Making edits, revising it, and saying it in different tones until she got it _just right._

She reached the street where Kara’s apartment building resided and parked across the street from it. This time, however, she didn’t let the butterflies in her stomach, or the anxiety in her soul pause her; she ran right into the building and onto the elevator.

The cage rose quickly, and before she knew it she was standing in front of Kara’s front door, her heart was aching, her stomach was churning, and her mind was racing a million miles a minute.

She knew this was going to be hard, she knew that it was going to be agonizing, but when the door opened, she realized that it was going to be so much more painful than she had ever imagined… She wasn't to face with Kara Danvers… She was face to face with Lucy Lane.

Lena’s heart broke as she took in the woman’s appearance; she was wearing nothing but a robe that Lena _knew_ was Kara’s… Her hair was a mess, and she looked as though she’d just gotten out of bed… _Kara’s_ bed.

Bile rose in her throat, her stomach became nauseous, and her heart immediately set afire with heartbreak and envy. She knew she had no right to, but she now hated the woman in front of her. “I-is Kara here?” She croaked out.

Lucy eyed the CEO for a moment. “Yes.” She said. “She’s in the shower. Would you like to come in and wait for her to get out?”

Lena gulped back the lump in her throat and nodded her head before stepping into the apartment. “Yes, thank you.”

Lucy nodded her head once with a small smile. “Of course! Any friend of Kara, is a friend of mine.” She said chirpily. “Just give me a moment to change into something more appropriate.” She said as she watched Lena sit down on the couch.

Lena watched as the woman turned around and walked into _Kara’s_ bedroom, where she picked up her black pants off of _Kara’s_ bedroom floor, and then closed _Kara’s_ bedroom door.

Jealousy, and hatred for the woman before her multiplied inside Kara’s heart. Whatever happened between Lucy and Kara last night (which Lena was certain had been sex now, and that devastated her) Lucy wasn’t trying to hide it… at _all_.

Lena clenched her hands together in a tight ball, trying to release the anger she felt, when the bedroom door opened again, and Lucy was wearing the _same_ outfit she’d been wearing in the photo Kara had posted of them. Another piece of Lena’s heart was chipped away at the sight, and she had to close her eyes and let out a long, _long_ breath in order to contain her emotions.

“Would you like a drink?” Lucy asked conversationally, causing Lena to open her eyes and stare at the woman with emotionless eyes. “I’m sure Kar’ wouldn’t want you to go without a drink.” She smiled.

Lena swallowed at the lump in her throat, and then cleared it before she spoke in as smooth a voice as she could manage. “At this moment in time, I’m not sure she would be offering me anything.” She admitted. “I really messed up, and right now, I’m just trying to make amends… but she’s really, _really_ upset with me.”

Lucy smiled sadly and nodded her head. “I know.” She informed. “But she doesn’t hate you, so I think I can offer you a drink.”

Lena narrowed her eyes. “H-how do you know?”

Lucy chuckled. “Well, before you came into the picture, Kara and I were _very_ close.” She shrugged. “When you two had your falling out, she didn’t know who to go to. Alex was there for her, obviously, but she had no one that was an unbiased source… No one but me. So, she texted me, and we went from there. We’ve been talking about this situation, and many others, for almost three months. She’s upset, and very hurt, but I’m sure you will figure out a way to be friends again someday.”

Lena clenched her jaw. Lucy had replaced her in Kara’s life. Lucy had taken on the role of Kara’s best friend, and (very clearly) her lover as well.

 From the looks of it, this hadn’t been a one time thing… This had happened on multiple occasions, and now… Lena wasn’t quite sure how she was going to figure out a way to get back into Kara’s life. Kara didn’t need her anymore… She had _Lucy_.

Lena clenched her jaw harder, so hard, in fact, that her teeth began to hurt… but she didn’t care, that pain paled in comparison to the pain that she felt in her heart.

She wasn’t quite sure she could face Kara again, not now that she knew the whole story. Kara and Lucy had undoubtedly been hooking up for the past three months, and Lena didn’t quite know what to do with that devastating information.

She looked at Lucy, who was staring at her with empathetic eyes, and all Lena could feel was undying rage.

She knew that Lucy was a good person; Kara had mentioned her quite a few times during their time as best friends, and she knew that Lucy was the reason the DEO was what it was today, because she went against her own _father_ to help Kara. Alex, and J’onn… She knew that Lucy was a hero in Kara’s eyes… in Alex’s too (which made it doubly hard to show Kara that she was better for her than Lucy was.) But she couldn’t help hating her. She had the woman that Lena loved, and she didn’t know if she could ever _not_ hate Lucy after this.

She knew though, that in order to gain any progress whatsoever, on earning Kara’s forgiveness, she was going to have to play nice with Lucy, so she mustered up her strength, and put on a façade of friendliness. “Thank you,” She forced out of her mouth. “I really hope that you are right.”

At that moment, the door to the bathroom opened, and there stood Kara, with a towel wrapped around her head. She looked beautiful as ever in her pink cardigan, tight dark blue skinny jeans, and brown belt. She smiled when her eyes met with Lucy’s, and Lucy’s face lit up like a Christmas tree on the night of December 24th when she saw Kara, and it made Lena internally sick.

The moment lasted far longer than Lena liked (it was only about 2.5 seconds) before Kara caught sight of her and then furrowed her brow. “Lena? What are you doing here?” She asked.

Lena gulped and stood up immediately when she saw Kara’s beautiful face staring at her, feeling unworthy of the seat she had taken just minutes prior. “I-I wanted to see if we could possibly talk?” She croaked out through a swollen throat.

Kara eyed her and sighed before she looked over at Lucy apologetically. “Would you mind grabbing you and I some breakfast from Noonan’s while Lena and I have a conversation?”

Lucy gave Kara and understanding smile, and nodded before she squeezed Kara’s bicep and left, leaving Lena alone with Kara.

The superhero turned her attention from the door that Lucy had just exited to her ex best friend. “What is so dire that you came back less than twelve hours later to talk about, Lena?”

Lena could tell that Kara was irritated that her morning with Lucy had been interrupted, but she persevered anyway. She needed to get Kara back, but as soon as she opened her mouth, her courage drained from her body… Kara was happy with Lucy… Happier than she had _ever_ been with Mon-El for _sure._ Her heart broke at the realization that she might already be too late to make a difference in her fate with Kara… She let out a sigh, and remembered Lena 9,886’s words… She had to win back her _friendship_ with Kara before she could get anything romantic from her. “I-I’d like a second chance, Kara.”

Kara raised her eyebrow, but said nothing, seemingly waiting for Lena to elucidate.

Lena cleared her throat as she wrung her hands together. “I-I know I abandoned you, and I know that you didn’t owe me your identity. I also know that even though you didn’t owe me your identity, you still _wanted_ to tell me, but you were scared to… for a number of different reasons. I know that now, I know you never meant to hurt me, Kara. I know that I didn’t really have a right to be hurt in the first place, and now I also understand why the kryptonite thing was so personal to you, and I can see where you were coming from now… I just want you to know, that had I known that it was _you_ wearing the Super’s Crest I would have told you _everything_.”

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. “I know that I hurt you, Kara… I know that three months was an excessive amount of time to waste trying to repair my pride, and I need you to know that I’m sorry, I’m so, _so_ sorry, Kara.” She opened her eyes, and saw Kara standing there, looking pensive at the floor while biting her lip. Lena didn’t know what else to do, so she kept on with her apology. “I also need you to know that I was never truly mad at _you_.” She continued, causing Kara to look up at her with a perplexed expression. Lena shook her head. “No, I was furious with myself,” She admitted, which gained her an even more puzzled look from the hero. “I was furious that I hadn’t seen through the disguise. I was embarrassed, and angry that I couldn’t see that my best friend, the one person that’s always been there for me, that means the _most_ to me, was actually the hero of National City… That you were flying around, saving the world and risking your life every day… and I didn’t see it. I was embarrassed, and ashamed and disgusted with myself because I couldn’t see through your terrible disguise, and instead of admitting that, I just took it all out on you. Because it was easier to deal with it alone, than to face you.”

Kara walked across the living room, and sat in the chair opposite the couch, gesturing for Lena to take a seat as well. “Well,” She sighed. “That’s not at all what I was expecting to hear.”

Lena gulped, her heart racing a million miles an hour… She wasn’t sure if her explanation being unexpected to Kara was a good thing, or a bad thing. “I-is that a good thing?” She asked, her hands trembling in her lap.

Kara sighed, and closed her eyes. “I thought that you were coming here to say that you were sorry for leaving, but then try to pin everything on me… So, yes.” She chuckled halfheartedly. “It’s definitely a good thing in my opinion.”

Lena relaxed minutely at that, but she could still see the tension in Kara’s body, and she heard it in her halfhearted laugh, so she knew she was still on thin ice. She swallowed thickly and spoke. “I wasn’t entitled to your identity, Kara. I know that, and I’d never blame you for keeping it a secret, I just…” She sighed and closed her eyes as she lowered her head, “I wish I had figured it out for myself, I felt like such an idiotic person, and like a terrible friend for not being able to see that it was you wearing that cape all this time.”

Kara smiled sadly. “I wanted to tell you,” She admitted. “I _really_ did, and I always wished that you would find out, and confront me, and just walk up to me like ‘Hey, I know your secret.’ Because keeping it from you was _hard_. I hate lying, especially when I care about the person I’m lying to.”

Lena’s heart leapt with joy when she heard the last sentence, but just as soon as hope filled her, dread overtook her once Kara spoke again. “But when you left, I was crushed, Lena.” A tear slipped from her eye, and Lena wanted so badly to wipe it away, but she stayed in her spot on the couch, knowing that Kara didn’t want her comfort at that particular point in time. “I don’t… I don’t _ever_ want to feel like that again.” She looked Lena dead in the eye, and Lena lost her breath. “I’ve been abandoned so many times, and it’s getting harder and harder to get over because it’s starting to get harder for me to open myself up to new people, it’s getting harder for me to trust them, and now it’s hard for me to trust _you_.”

Lena gulped. “I’ll do anything.” She avowed. “Just name it, and it’s done, Kara. I want to show you that I can be the same person that you told everything to. You name it, and I’ll do it. I just need you in my life again.”

“I need time, Lena.” Kara’s voice sounded so pained that it broke Lena. “I need time to heal, to learn to trust you again, because right now, all I feel is abandonment, and I have to get over that before we can work on our friendship.”

Lena felt her own tears well up in her eyes, and terror was overcoming her. The more time she spent apart from Kara, the more Kara would fall for Lucy… she couldn’t allow that. She shook her head vehemently. “Kara, please. I miss you; I can’t give you space. I can give you anything but that.”

The corner of Kara’s lips turned upward, but the smile didn’t reach her eyes. “Lena, I gave you almost two months of space after being ignored for a month and a half. I think the least you could do is give me some space in return.”

Lena’s bottom lip trembled as she realized that at that current moment, there was nothing more she could do but accept Kara’s terms. At least Kara didn’t hate her anymore. She swallowed back her tears and nodded. “Okay.” She said. “But I’m not giving up on us, Kara. You mean more to me than you realize, and I’ll be damned if I lose you because I was an idiot.”

Kara shook her head. “You’re the smartest human on the planet. You aren’t an idiot.”

Lena smiled, and her heart flipped at Kara’s compliment, but she had to disagree. “To hurt you, I had to be the most idiotic person on the planet.” She asserted.

Kara smiled sadly and averted her eyes to the floor. “I _did_ miss you, Lena.”

Lena smiled tightly, her heart longing to reach out and give Kara a hug, but she was no longer her best friend, and no longer had permission to do so. Instead, she smiled and nodded. “I missed you too, Kara… I still do.” She added before she turned to leave.

Her hand had already begun to twist the doorknob, when her favorite voice in the multiverse called back to her. “Lena?”

Lena immediately looked back at Kara. “Yes?” She asked hopefully.

Kara offered her a small smile. “Keep your phone on this time, okay?”

Lena let out the first genuine laugh she’d had in three months and nodded. “Of course, Kara. I wouldn’t dream of missing your call.” She said before she exited the apartment.

Once she reached the elevator, it opened to present her with a perky Lucy Lane holding two bags of take out, and a drink holder with two coffee cups in it. “Oh, perfect timing, huh?” She said with a slight chuckle.

Lena glared at her, and she couldn’t stop what came out of her mouth next. “How long have you been sleeping with my best friend?” She asked.

Lucy’s smile dropped instantly, her face turning serious. “Excuse me?”

Lena knew she shouldn’t have asked, but she couldn’t help it… Her heart was in too much agony to pretend she didn’t need to know. “I said, how long have you been sleeping with my best friend?”

Lucy’s serious expression turned into a glare. “I don’t believe that’s any of your business. Did Kara tell you this?”

Lena’s heart burned in envy… Lucy hadn’t denied the allegations. “She didn’t have to.” She scowled. “It was obvious.”

Lucy nodded. “Yes, well, if Kara wanted you to know about it, she would’ve told you herself. I’m not about to divulge that type of information without her consent.” She informed. “ _Goodbye_ , Miss Luthor. Have a good rest of your day.” She said before walking towards Kara’s door.

Lena’s heart was aching; she’d just got the confirmation she needed but desperately hoped wasn’t true. Kara _was_ , without a doubt, sleeping with Lucy. The realization hit her like a speeding freight train. Lena was on the fast track to losing Kara, and she was at a loss for what to do. She took out her phone and looked at Kara’s Instagram again, seeing that heartbreaking picture of Kara and Lucy together still on her page. She swallowed back her tears before she did something that she knew was quite risky.

She went to her camera roll and went through hundreds of photos of her and Kara before she found her favorite. It was from Kara’s birthday party the year prior; they both had party hats on, and were making dorky faces, with their arms wrapped around each other’s waist. They looked so happy, and Lena remembered wishing more than anything that she had the courage to ask Kara out that day. She smiled at the picture longingly before she clicked send and sent it to Kara to remind her that they could have good times together too.

She rode the elevator down and walked out of it as the doors opened.

As soon as she reached her car, her phone went off, alerting her that she had received a text. She opened it and smiled.

**Kara:** _Good times. Hope someday we can have more._

It wasn’t a lot, but it was more than Lena had thought she would receive so soon, but she knew that she was going to need more help.

 

**XXX**

Lena reached her lab in record time, and immediately found where she’d placed the breacher. She knew that she was in dangerous territory with Kara at the moment… These next few weeks would determine everything about their future, so she needed to tread as carefully as possible… So, she needed help, and where better to get it than from someone who’d walked in her shoes?

She activated the breach, programmed it for her desired Earth, and walked through… She hoped this wasn’t a mistake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Which Earth do you think Lena is going to?


	11. Chapter 11

Lena walked out of the portal and onto Earth 84 where she saw her doppelganger sitting at her home bar, drowning herself in booze. It hurt to see someone with the same past as her own, so miserable… But she wasn’t there for a social visit. She was there for help.

 “What did you do, _now_?” Lena 84 slurred.

Lena shook her head. “I didn’t do anything. I apologized for what I did, and how poorly I reacted.”

Kara 84 turned around and faced her. “Oh?” She asked. “Then what’s the issue? You just have to give her time, I’m sure.”

Lena swallowed at the memory of Lucy on Kara’s lap and looked her counterpart in the eye. “The problem is Lucy Lane.”

Lena 84’s face fell. “Then why the hell are you here? You should be on one of the earths where Kara ended up with Lucy.”

Lena nodded. “I know, I was hoping you could send me to one?”

Lena 84 nodded. “Absolutely. Just give me a moment.” She stumbled off of her stool and over to her desk. She fumbled around in one of her drawers before she finally found the breaching device. “You can’t lose her too, 38.” She slurred. “Fight for her. Fight for her with all that you have.”

Lena nodded her head. “I will.” She avowed before she stepped through the portal.

 

**XXX**

When she walked out of the portal, she was shocked to see that the home she was in, looked nothing like hers. It was small, old, and barely lived in, but she k new it was lived in because there was a sleeping form on the couch in front of her. She didn’t know whether she should wake her or not, but then, without notice, the new Lena sat straight up, rubbed her eyes, and then stood greeting her with a nervous smile. “You must be the Lena that 84 is trying to help.”

Lena nodded jerkily, confused as to how her counterpart of this Earth woke so early. “Yes. I’m Lena of Earth 38.” She said, extending her hand to the woman before her.

Her look alike smiled and took the offered hand into her own, shaking it. “Well, nice to meet you, Lena of Earth 38. I’m Lena of Earth 45.”

Lena could see that this version of herself was happier than the others, but she was still in a great deal of grief. “So… Your Kara married Lucy?” She asked.

Lena 45 nodded with a sad smile. “I take it at the moment your Kara is on the same track?”

“Yes,” Lena informed. “I need help, that’s why I asked 84 to send me here.”

45 nodded. “Of course!” She said. “I will help you in whatever way I can, but first, I think you should see exactly what your future could look like if you don’t put your all into fighting for Kara.”

Lena frowned. She didn’t know if she had the internally strength to see Kara with yet another person that wasn’t her. “I-I don’t think I can handle that.”

Earth 45 Lena smiled knowingly. “It’ll hurt like hell to see, but it’s going to be a lot better than actually living through it every day, trust me.”

Lena nodded, and prepared her heart for utter devastation as Lena 45 handed her an image induce. “So, who am I going to pretend to be?” She asked nervously.

45 smiled. “I’m going to say that you are my friend, Scarlett, from Boarding School. You’re in town for a visit, and I just wanted all of my friends to meet.”

Lena nodded, that sounded easy enough. “What about a last name, if she asks?”

45 chuckled. “I don’t know… Choose for yourself.” She said before she grabbed her purse and turned towards the door.

 

**XXX**

In the car, Lena looked at her counterpart and studied her. She seemed less haunted than the rest of the Kara-less Lenas, but she still looked hurt. It was as if, her pain was the same, but not to the same magnitude as the others, and although it was a good sign, Lena could still tell that Lena 45 was miserable in her own way.

“So, what’s your story?” She asked conversationally.

45 looked over at her from the driver’s seat. “I got mad at her after the reveal, but realized after falling onto Earth 84 that I wasn’t actually mad about her lying to me, because I understood why she did it… I was mad that I hadn’t figured it out for myself; but I had been ignoring her for two months, so when I came back, she wasn’t exactly happy to see me. I took a while, a _long_ while for her to trust me enough to let me in again, and when she finally did, she had already gone public with her relationship with Lucy… It had completely blindsided me. I had planned to tell her how I felt, and then ask for a chance at a relationship with her after we mended our friendship, but I should have told her from the beginning. I should have told her, begged her, never given her space. But, now it’s too late… And I am forced to watch the only person I want to be with, be with someone else… Every day.”

Lena’s heart clenched… She’d been ignoring Kara for three months… That was longer than Lena 45 had ignored her Kara… What if she was already too late? “I-… I ignored my Kara for three months.”

45 shook her head and sighed. “We are all _really_ idiotic for being geniuses.”

Lena nodded. “Yeah,” She agreed. “We really are.”

 

**XXX**

They pulled up to a building that Lena had never seen in her National City before; it was tall and looked as if it had just been built. It was on the nicer end of town, a part of town that Lena actually looked for places in when she first moved to National City.

“Why are we here? Kara’s loft is clear on the other side of the city.” Lena asked.

Lena 45 chuckled. “Yes, it w _as_.” She affirmed. “Before Cat Grant left CatCo to Kara in her will, and Kara became just as rich as me.”

Lena frowned… That was something she hadn’t expected. “S-so, this is where Kara and Lucy live?”

45 nodded. “Yes. Kara had this building built specifically so she and Lucy could live on the top floor. Alex lives on the twelfth floor, Brainy lives on the sixth floor with Nia, and J’onn lives on the first floor. All rent free.” She informed.

Lena frowned, she noticed the one person that was missing. “Why don’t you live here too then?”

Lena shrugged her shoulders. “She offered, but I’d rather not have to see Kara with Lucy almost every day of my life. Once or twice a week is all that I can handle.”

Lena nodded. “W-why did Cat leave CatCo to Kara? Didn’t she have two sons?”

45 scrunched her brow and nodded. “Yes, and in the will, she left them each a percentage of the company that would sustain them for the rest of their lives, but she didn’t trust them to run the company, she trusted Kara.”

Lena nodded. “That makes sense; Kara would be the best person for the Job right after Cat Grant herself.”

45 chuckled and nodded. “Exactly.”

They rode the elegant elevator to the fourteenth floor, and Lena 45 entered a pin code before the doors opened to a gorgeous top-floor penthouse. The floor was tiled in fine marble, which made every step echo. A chandelier made rainbow colors dance across the luxurious living room walls. Embroidered silk sofas surrounded a ginormous flat-screen television. The twin doors that led into the (what Lena guessed was) the bedroom were a pristine white with shiny golden handles that were engraved with KZD and LLD (their initials, Lena inferred). The dining room table was made of amber-colored wood and a white marble top. Exquisite paintings hung from the rich, red walls. Even the door hinges were engraved with beautiful and elegant designs. The domed ceiling rose at least 20 feet high. Lena gaped at the beauty of it all. She was in utter shock that Kara had such exquisite tastes… and wondered if it was all just for Lucy, or if Kara actually enjoyed all the extravagant things in life.

“Wow. This is beautiful.” Lena exclaimed.

There were foot steps coming from the other room, and when Lena looked over, she saw Kara 45 with a broad smile on her face. “Thank you!” She greeted.

Lena’s heart did backflips at the sight of Kara’s doppelganger. She knew it wasn’t her Kara, but it didn’t stop her heart from pretending it were. “You’re welcome.”

Lena 45 gestured to Lena. “Kara this is my friend Scarlett from boarding school. She is in town visiting for a few days, and I thought that it’d be nice to introduce her to my best friend.”

Kara smiled widely as she offered her hand to an image-induced Lena. “Nice to meet you, Scarlett!”

Lena shook the offered hand. “Nice to meet you as well.”

Kara and Lena 45 stood and talked for a while, and the whole time, Lena’s heart ached… She could see the love 45 had for Kara 45, and it broke her heart that Lucy had Kara’s heart instead.

Things only got worse, however, when Lucy entered the penthouse with a bag of groceries in her hand. She smiled brightly at her wife and kissed Kara, which caused both Lenas to look away with heartache written on their faces.

Lena saw the change in Lena 45’s demeanor almost instantaneously. Instead of being open, laid back, comfortable, and smiley, she folded in on herself, kept her head down, avoided eye contact  at all cost and never spoke unless spoken to directly.

“Why don’t you two stay for diner?” Lucy invited. “I have plenty for everybody!”

Lena could tell that 45 wanted to decline, and Lena was just about to make up an excuse for why they couldn’t stay, when Lena 45 shook her head. “You could ask them all about their relationship during dinner… it could help you win your Kara.”

Lena bit her lip. “Are you sure?”

45 nodded, a pained smile on her face. “Yes.” She asserted before she turned back to the happily married couple. “We’d love to join you!”

 

**XXX**

They had just started eating, when Kara finished telling them about her and Lucy’s plans for starting up a grant for underprivileged alien students.

“That sounds like an amazing endeavor.” 45 said with a forced smile, Lena could tell being around them was difficult.

Kara beamed at Lena. “Thank you, Lee.”

Lena’s heart melted at the nickname that she shared with this Lena… It was always nice to hear that beautiful Kryptonian voice say her pet name, she was just about to comment on the nickname, when 45 eyed her insistently, urging her to take the opportunity to quiz Lucy and Kara on their relationship.

She cleared her throat and then asked her first attempt to extract information from them. “I’m always a sucker for romance stories.” She started, “Especially when the couple is as cute as you two.” It cut her to say it, but she had to pretend like she enjoyed seeing them together if she wanted to get the information she needed. “So, would you mind telling me your love story?”

Kara smiled, and looked at Lucy before she kissed the brunette’s hand and began. “Well, when we first met, I was pining over her ex-boyfriend, James.” They both chuckled at that before Kara continued. |I always thought that she was gorgeous, though. She was strong, and heroic, and never stood behind anyone. We became best buds, and then she had to move away for business.”

Lena knew most of this story already; it was almost word-for-word exactly how Kara met Lucy, and how their friendship blossomed, what she didn’t know, was how Kara and Lucy went from being close friends to lovers. “Oh? Did you stay in touch?”

Kara nodded. “On and off we did, yes.” She admitted. “We saw each other occasionally as well, then when Lena and I had our falling out, I leaned on Lucy for support and something between us just… _clicked_. One moment I was admiring how gorgeous she was, then next thing I knew, I was leaning in to kiss her. It was fast, but the build up had been a long time running. I’m honestly shocked it hadn’t happened sooner.”

Lena feigned adoration of the story, when really all she wanted to do was scream and pull her hair out. “Did you… keep it quiet at first?”

Kara shook her head. “No, absolutely not, we never hid our love. We’ve always been proud of our relationship.”

Lena nodded, her heart eating away at itself. She understood what Kara was saying, and it put a lot of things into perspective… This Kara and Lucy never hid their relationship, which meant that  _her_ Kara and Lucy might not actually be together like she thought, but she needed to get home and find out for sure… _immediately_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think? Will Lena find out that Kara and Lucy are or _aren't _together?__


	12. Chapter 12

Lena sat in her seat at the dinner table, trying her hardest to keep her food down because the sight of Kara touching, flirting, and making doe-eyes at Lucy was making her physically nauseous.

45 was sitting in silence, staring at Kara 45 with an adoring and longing expression as Kara spoke passionately about the changes that she’d made to CatCo in the past few months. _Lucy_ , however, was on her phone. That sight ignited a fire of burning rage inside of Lena’s stomach. Kara was speaking about something that made her happy, why on Earth would anyone, especially her _wife,_ ignore that?

Kara seemed to notice that Lucy wasn’t paying attention, and her bright eyes dimmed, her smile faltered, and she clammed up. She cleared her throat. “Oh... S-sorry. Probably was boring you.” She chuckled self-deprecatingly.

Lena 45’s eyes widened in horror at Kara’s declaration, and she shook her head firmly. “No! Please, continue! How did you stabilize the budget so quickly?” She asked, while Lucy continued to ignore her wife for her phone.

Kara’s smile and bright eyes returned, and she continued speaking passionately about all the improvements she had made to the company… It _clearly_ took one CEO to understand another.

Lena looked back and forth between the two best friends as Kara continued explaining the budgetary fiasco, she’d encountered a few weeks ago, and realized… Kara 45 was staring at Lena 45 like she’d hung the sun, and Lena 45 was looking at Kara like she w _as_ the sun… They were _in love_ , but Kara was too blinded by Lucy to see it.

 

**XXX**

Forty-five minutes later, Kara 45 and Lena 45 were hugging goodbye, when Lucy came up and interrupted them. “Hun, I have to go into work.” She announced.

Kara’s face fell as she pulled away from the hug. “But… we said tonight was going to be movie night.”

Lucy nodded. “I know, but some new evidence just got brought up on the case I’ve been working on, and I really have to go.”

Kara’s eyes dimmed again. “That’s the third time this week, Babe.”

Lucy gave an apologetic smile and nodded. “I know, but it’s work, so…”

The heartbreak on Kara’s face burned Lena’s stomach… She deserved someone that was going t be there for her, and it was obvious that Lucy was not that person… She was too distracted with work.

“I know, I just…” She sighed. “I miss you, Luce.”

Lucy went over to Kara and placed a kiss on Kara’s cheek. “I know, baby. Me too. I will see you as soon as I get back, okay?”

Kara nodded, her frown growing more prominent on her face. “When will that be? Tomorrow morning?” She snaked

Lucy kissed Kara’s cheek once more, completely missing the anger and hurt in Kara’s tone. “I don’t know baby, maybe. Maybe tomorrow afternoon, we’ll see. I love you, have a good night.” She finished as she headed for the door.

Kara nodded. “I love you too.” She whispered sadly.

Kara’s bottom lip trembled as she walked over to the dinner table and began to clean the dishes off it.

45 was there next to her in a heartbeat, helping her clean them off and load them into the dishwasher. Lena watched as they worked together harmoniously, like they’d done it a thousand times before… It looked as if _they_ were the married couple, and _Lucy_ had been the visitor.

 _That’s the way it should be._ Lena thought angrily.

 

**XXX**

After the table was cleared, Kara could no longer hold in her emotions, and she burst out into a fit of tears.

“I-I’m sorry.” She cried as she covered her face with her hands. “I-I’m so sorry. I j-just wanted to have a nice evening with her.”

Lena 45 immediately enveloped Kara into a tight embrace, her face full of utter devastation and anger as she looked over Kara’s head at Lena. It was clear, that Lena 45 blamed herself for this. It was also clear, that Lena 45 was brokenhearted from seeing Kara inconsolable over her own _wife_.

“Shhh. Kara.” She cooed. “I know, sweetie. I _know_.”

Lena’s heart broke at the sight… She didn’t want her future to be this… She didn’t want to be the loyal lovesick best friend who was there to clean up the messes that Kara’s wife left behind. She didn’t want to watch Kara be miserable in her own marriage.

Lena couldn’t help it… she had to know. “Why do you stay with her?” She asked, genuinely wanting to know the answer. “She clearly is more interested in her job.”

45 glared at her viciously as Kara began to cry harder right after the question slipped past her lips.

Lena immediately regretted asking the question. “I-I’m sorry.” She apologized. “It does seem like she loves you an awful lot.” She countered. “I just could never handle being ignored so much.”

Kara nodded into Lena 45’s shoulders. “She does love me; she just has always put her work first. At first, when James said that, I instantly thought that he was just angry that Lucy had a more successful career than him… But a year into mine and Lucy’s relationship, I realized that he wasn’t lying, she really _does_ put her Law Firm above everything else.”

Lena’s heart ached. She needed to get home and fix things with her Kara as fast as interdimensionally possible.

**XXX**

After about another hour of Kara crying into Alex 45 showed up and took over comforting Kara, and when Kara passed out on her couch… Alex looked up from where she sat, with Kara’s head on her lap and shook her head.

“I can’t believe this is her life now.” She said sadly. “After everything she’s been through, I thought for sure that she would settle down with someone that could make her happy, give her everything that she wanted in life, and treat her like a princess.” She closed her eyes. “I hate this.”

Lena swallowed back her tears. “Why doesn’t she just leave Lucy?” She asked.

Alex looked up at Lena, who was still image induced. “Because Kryptonians don’t believe in divorce… and she thinks that, one day, Lucy will start focusing more on her.”

Kara began to stir in Alex’s lap, so she shushed them, and both Lenas took that as their cue to leave.

“Goodnight, Alex.” Both Lenas whispered in unison.

Alex smiled sadly at them as she caressed her sister’s hair. “Night.” She mouthed back.

 

**XXX**

They sat in silence on the way back to Lena 45’s house. “That… that didn’t really happen, did it? Lucy didn’t really just abandon Kara after promising to have movie night with her… Did she?” Lena asked in disbelief and anger.

Lena 45 nodded sadly, her knuckles white as she gripped the steering wheel. “It did.”

Lena corrugated her brows and shook her head, trying her best to attempt to shake out the confusion. “B-but they seemed so _happy_ at the beginning!”

45 scoffed. “Exactly. Lucy has no idea how lucky she is, or how happy they _could_ be if she actually gave Kara the time that she deserves. She never realizes how miserable Kara is at times, and when Kara _tries_ to voice it, she gets berated for making Lucy have to ‘choose’ between her career or her marriage. It’s appalling, but Lucy can’t see how heartbroken she leaves Kara sometimes, because she’s too caught up in her phone and career.”

 “I’m so sorry that you have to see that. Isn’t there a way that you could convince Kara to divorce Lucy?” Lena asked, desperate for Kara 45 to escape the unhappy marriage that she seemed trapped in.

Lena 45 shook her head, her face downtrodden. “I’ve tried before, but all that ended in was a fight. Kara doesn’t believe that Lucy is in the wrong, she thinks that she’s just too sensitive… Lucy didn’t come home from the office for three days at one point, and Kara said nothing although she’d been crying nonstop. Lucy _does_ love Kara, but her priorities are out of place.”

Lena’s heart ached for Kara 45. “Why doesn’t she visit Lucy at the office? Maybe that would at least make her a _little_ happier.”

45 frowned. “She tried that in the beginning, but then Lucy asked her to stop doing that because she was ‘ _distracting_ ’.”

Anger swelled up inside of Lena. She needed to her stop Kara and Lucy from getting together… If they weren’t already.

 

**XXX**

“W-what would be your advice to get Kara’s romantic interest?” Lena asked as she exited 45’s car.

Lena 45 began to ponder upon that for a while as they entered 45’s building finally, as they reached her apartment, she answered. “Sit down with her and make her know that you are serious and mean every single word that you’re saying. Make eye contact at al times, don’t falter with what you’re saying, make her know that you are confident in your love for her. Be firm; don’t attack her, but d _on’t_ be subtle; she’s sensitive, but she’s oblivious, so you have to make what you’re saying _very_ clear, but don’t come on too strong or you’ll scare her away.” She began, Lena nodded, soaking up all the advice that 45 was offering. “I’d suggest bringing a romantic gift as well. Perhaps chocolate, or even flowers… possibly even _both_.”

She continued to rattle off all the advice that she could get, until 45 finally stopped. “I hope that helps.” She said with a small, bashful smile.

Lena chuckled “It does, thank you.”

45 nodded her head and smiled. “Are you ready to go back home?” She asked as she opened a breach.

Lena inhaled deeply, trying her best to calm the butterflies in her stomach. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you think Lena will be able to win Kara's heart with Lena 45's advice??


	13. Chapter 13

As soon as Lena stepped foot in her penthouse, she leaped into action. She grabbed her purse, and her keys and rushed out of the door. She knew that it would be a long, grueling process to win back Kara’s trust, but she also knew that if she didn’t make her feelings known soon, Kara was going to fall into the unworthy arms of Lucy Lane… and that just wouldn’t do.

 

**XXX**

As soon as she left the building, Lena drove straight to the nearest florist. She bought the biggest bouquet of plumerias that they had, and two boxes of their finest chocolate before she sped her way over to Kara’s building.

She had it all planned out:

Step 1: Apologize for not respecting Kara’s request for space.  
Step 2: Give Kara the gifts, and hope they’d make her smile.  
Step 3: Ask to come inside, and then confess her feelings.

She had nervous butterflies fluttering around in her stomach as she exited the car.

This was it. This was the end-all be-all moment.

She inhaled deeply, trying to release some of the anxiety that was building up inside of her. Finally, she took a step, and continued to do so until she was riding the elevator up to Kara’s floor.

She smiled as she realized that this moment could lead to many romantic ones with Kara, if she played her cards right. At that realization, her nervous butterflies turned into excited ones, and she’d felt more motivated than ever to tell Kara _exactly_ how she felt.

She straightened her shoulders, and smiled confidently as the elevator doors opened, but the sight she saw when they did, took all of her excitement and happiness right out of her…

Kara was standing in her doorway, hands on Lucy’s hips, as she made out with the youngest Lane.

Lena’s shoulders fell, her stomach churned, and her heart ached as she watched the sight. She had no idea what else to do but stand there, in utter agony, and watch it happen. But with each second that passed by as she did so, her heart broke more and more.

She thought that watching Lena 84’s agony over Kara 84’s death hurt. She thought that watching Kara 29 carry Brainy’s child hurt… and she thought that watching Kara 109 stare at Lena 109 with nothing but hatred hurt… but all of those put together couldn’t compare to the amount of pure agony she felt as she watched Kara… _Her Kara_  kiss someone else.

She didn’t mean for it to happen, she’d intended to be silent, but she couldn’t silence the whimper that escaped her mouth… Which caused Lucy and Kara to pull away from each other in an instant.

“Lena!” Kara exclaimed in shock. “I thought that I asked you for some time?”

Lena bit her trembling lip and nodded. “You did.” She affirmed, trying her hardest to bite back a sob. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come.” She was just about to push the button for the elevator, when Kara’s voice sounded again.

“Are those for me?” She asked.

Lena turned around and looked at the gifts in her own hands, before she nodded and offered them up to the woman that was clear across the hall. “Yes. Here you go.” She croaked.

Lucy and Lena made eye contact, and all Lena wanted to do was pounce on the woman and pummel her into the ground, but instead, she just stood there, her arms offering the gifts to the woman she loved as Kara crossed the hallway to take them.

Kara finally reached Lena, and she looked at her in confusion as she took the gifts from Lena’s hand. “Um… Thank you, Lena.” She said.

Lena bit her lip and nodded. “N-no problem. I-I’ll just be on my way. Sorry to bother you.”

Kara furrowed her brow. “Are you okay?”

“Yes. Perfect!” Lena squeaked out, knowing that it sounded way too forced.

Kara’s brows furrowed even further. “Lucy was just about to leave.” She started. “Would you like to come in? You seem off. I know you’re not okay.”

Lena looked over to Lucy, who was still staring at her, _studying_ her. Lena really didn’t want to stay, she wanted to run away and get plastered at the bar, but when she looked back at Kara and saw the worry in her eyes, she knew she couldn’t say no. “Sure.” She responded.

Kara nodded and gestured towards the door of her apartment. When they passed Lucy, Kara gave the lawyer one last peck on the lips before Lucy walked away, and Kara entered the apartment.

“So… You and Lucy, huh?” Lena asked, her heart breaking as she remembered Kara kissing Lucy.

Kara walked into her kitchen and grabbed a vase for her bouquet. “These are lovely, Lena. Thank you!” She diverted the question.

Lena swallowed at the lump in her throat. She hated that Kara was avoiding the topic that Lena _really_ needed answers to. “You’re welcome.” She said instead of prying at the topic; it was clear Kara was more interested in talking about why Lena was there.

“So,” Kara started. “Why are you here?”

Lena averted her eyes and began wringing her hands. “I just wanted to see you.”

Kara nodded her head once. “I see.” She paused, gnawing at her lip as she sat down on a stool at her counter, turning around to face Lena, and resting her elbows on the countertop. She gave Lena a look of suspicion as she spoke. “But I asked you for some time to regroup and get my feelings in order, and you said you’d do that… So, there has to be more of a reason to why you’re here than you just wanting to see me.”

Lena felt cornered, she had nowhere to go, nowhere to hide; but she _couldn’t_ confess her feelings after what she’d just seen… Kara was clearly already in love with Lucy. “I-,” She took a deep breath. “I-,” She clenched her jaw as she fought back her tears. She had no idea what to say. “I just needed to let you know how much I miss you.”

Kara’s dubious expression softened. “Oh.”

Lena’s heart clenched, there was still tension between them, and Kara still didn’t seem to be too thrilled that Lena was there, but Lena couldn’t go back. She couldn’t tell Kar that she was in love with her, she’d just saw her making out with Lucy in the hallway.

She swallowed back her tears and looked up into Kara’s eyes. “I miss you, Kara. I miss you so much. You’re my best friend, my confidant, my shoulder to cry on. I need you in my life. I haven’t been able to smile a genuine smile or laugh at _anything_ since I was stupid enough to get angry with you and cut you out of my life, and I just need you to know that.”

Kara sighed. “I’m still hurt, Lena. I’m incredibly hurt. I understand that me being Supergirl is a shock that you probably weren’t expecting, but I kept that from you to protect you, and as soon as I realized that keeping it from you would no longer be a threat to you, I told you. I never wanted to hide it from you.”

Lena bit her lip. “I know, Kara. I know that, and I am so _sorry_ that I treated you the way that I did. I didn’t realize how wrong I was until after the fact, and I need you, Kara… I _need_ you.”

Kara still wasn’t comfortable around her, it was evident in her mannerisms, her body language, and her over all demeanor said it; but Lena could tell that she was trying, and that it was hard. “Three _months_ , Lena! Not three days, not even three weeks… _Months_!”

Lena bit her cheek in a failed attempt to abate her tears, but they poured down her face anyway. “I know, Kara… I know. And I’m _so_ sorry.”

 

**XXX**

Lena didn’t have the strength to keep talking to Kara after that… Her heart had been absolutely _battered_ … She had no more will to continue on, so… she downed half a bottle of tequila.

She was just about to pop a cork to another bottle, when a breach opened up in her living room. She furrowed her brows as a blurred silhouette entered the room. She cursed herself for drinking so much all at once, and kept blinking her eyes until she was finally able to make out the face of the intruder… It was her… Well not _her,_ but one of her doppelgangers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lena chickened out.. _again _.__
> 
> __Which doppelganger do you think came to surprise Lena?_ _


	14. Chapter 14

Lena watched as the doppelganger placed a bag on the coffee table before she inspected Lena.

“W-which one are you?” Lena slurred at her doppelganger.

The second Lena looked at her disapprovingly and shook her head as she yanked the bottle of alcohol and threw it across the room; inevitably shattering it. “Get your head out of your ass!” She yelled. “I _knew_ you weren’t going to be able to go through with it, so I came to check on you… From the looks of it, I was right.”

Lena looked away in shame, it was Lena 45. “Sss-she’s with Lucy. Sssaw them kissssing.” She slurred once more.

45 rose her eyebrow. “Oh? Are they married already?”

Lena looked at her incredulously. How could 45 be so nonchalant about the seriousness of the situation? Kara was _kissing_ Lucy! “Nnno!” She said drunkenly as she tried to walk to her couch, failing miserably and falling, only to be caught by her look alike. “Get off me; I’m sssad!” She grunted drunkenly as she tried fruitlessly to escape 45’s hold on her.

Lena 45 sighed and rolled her eyes before she pulled a chair from Lena’s dining room table and sat her down on it. She then pulled a syringe out of the bag she had placed on the coffee table and raised it to Lena’s arm.

Lena’s eyes widened, and she scrambled to get away from the doppelganger, but in her drunken state, she was no match for Lena 45’s sober reflexes, and she injected her with whatever the syringe held.

“Ow! H-hey get away from me!” Lena screamed.

Lena 45 rolled her eyes. “It’s a sobering serum; I created it after one too many hangovers.” She informed. “You’ll start feeling the effects of it in about a half hour.” She then pulled out two sets of handcuffs. “Which gives me just enough time to grab a pizza and rush over to Kara’s house.” She said as she then handcuffed Lena’s hands to the chair.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!” Lena yelled, fear and anger pouring out of her. “Let me go!”

45 bent down and handcuffed Lena’s feet to the chair next before she stood up and walked over to the bag that she had placed on Lena’s coffee table and then pulled out a large iPad. She set it up so that it was facing Lena and then turned it on. When the screen displayed the entire room, Lena’s drunken mind couldn’t comprehend what was happening.

Lena furrowed her brow. “H-how?”

45 sighed. “I created a 360 view camera, and I have it implanted on my watch. It will record everything I say to Kara and show you both of our emotions. You aren’t capable of woman-ing up and telling Kara how you feel, and I refuse to sit back and watch as you make the same mistakes that I did. _I_ am going to tell your Kara exactly how we feel about her… How we _all_ feel about our Karas, and then I am going to go back to my Earth and tell Lucy exactly how I feel about her treatment of Kara, and I am hoping that will solve both of our problems.”

Lena began to panic. “NO! You can’t tell Kara how I feel! It will make everything awkward between us!”

45 rolled her eyes. “It may be awkward for a while, but only because she won’t know how to handle it. If she never knows that you’re an option, how on Earth is she ever supposed to choose you? Sometimes, things are worth the risks.”

Lena fought back tears as she looked at 45 pleadingly. “ _Please_ don’t do this.”

“I’m sorry,” Lena 45 smiled sadly. “But I have to, or you’ll miss the slim opportunity that you have left. This is for your own good.”

She then pulled out a blue cloth and walked behind Lena, gagging her with it. “You can watch everything I say and do on here.” She said as she pointed to the iPad propped up on the coffee table. “And you can punch me, after all is said and done. Now, I have to stop by Pizza Hut and grab our darling Kryptonian a pizza before I finally tell her what you’ve been too scared to say all this time. I’ll be back.”

 

**XXX**

Lena struggled relentlessly against the handcuffs, shaking the black metal chair mercilessly, but all of her attempts failed. She continued to fight to escape, when the iPad came to life, and she saw Lena 45 standing at Kara’s front door with a pizza box in her hands.

Her heart began to palpitate with fear… She couldn’t believe what was happening; she didn’t want her confession to happen like this. She’d wanted to tell Kara herself, in her _own_ words, but she never had the strength to follow through; and the one time that she _did_ she’d been too late.

She watched, tears streaming down her face as 45 knocked on Kara’s door with a nervous expression on her face.

Moments later, the door opened, and a confused Kara answered. “Lena? I thought that I-,”

45 interrupted Kara’s speech nervously. “I know that I said I’d respect your wishes, but I _can’t_ , Kara…At least not until I confess something to you.”

Kara narrowed her eyes suspiciously. “What is there to confess?”

Lena could see 45’s throat constrict; a sign that she had just swallowed out of nervousness. “I really wanted to talk to you earlier, but when I saw you kissing Lucy, it derailed my focus, and I chickened out. Can I please come in for a moment?  I _need_ to talk to you, and I brought pizza…”

Kara frowned, but stepped aside and let Lena 45 walk in.

Lena 45 smiled victoriously and winked at the camera before she set the pizza down on Kara’s table.

Kara came back into view and sat across the table from Lena 45, grabbing a slice of pizza from the box between them, and taking a large bite. “I didn’t mean for you to see us.” She started, mouth full of extra cheesy pizza. “I know it was probably a shock, but we’re trying to keep it a secret for now.”

Lena 45 furrowed her brows. “Why?” She asked. “Isn’t she proud to have the most beautiful woman in existence as her girlfriend?”

Kara chuckled at the compliment and fidgeted with her glasses; which Lena always adored. She looked absolutely breathtaking every time she did so. She took another bite of the slice, before swallowing the delicacy and speaking again. “I’m the one who wants to keep it a secret… for _now_.”

Lena rose her brow… That was odd of Kara.

45 seemed to have come to the same conclusion, as her eyebrow rose as well. “Why?”

Kara bit her lip and shook her head. “I don’t know.” She said with a shrug. “I’ve never been with a woman before, so I really want to take things slow and figure this out before we go public. We’re both probably going to face a lot of hate, and I want our relationship to be strong enough to handle it before we take it public. I know that Earth has come a _long_ way in the acceptance and equality department, but hate is still out there, especially since I am one of the most famous Alien Rights Activists out there; and I just want to make sure our relationship won’t crumble because of the scrutiny we might face.”

Lena’s heart broke a little more; it seemed as if Kara was genuinely serious about her relationship with Lucy… She didn’t like that… Not at _all_.

Lena 45 looked down at her camera and frowned… She too, was obviously feeling the dejection. “That makes sense, but what if it were a different woman? A woman who has been through public scrutiny and obloquy her whole life?”

Kara looked at her like she’d grown a third eyeball and started laughing. “What other woman?”

Lena could feel her heart pounding in her chest as she watched 45 bite her lip, before she rose her head to face Kara. “Me.”

Kara’s eyes widened, and her mouth opened and closed several times (much like a fish). “I-… _what_?”

Lena’s heart was beating out of her chest, and her breathing became rapid… She really didn’t like the incredulous tone in Kara’s voice… It was clear that she’d never thought of Lena in a romantic light… which admittedly, killed her inside.

45 nodded, and reached across the table, placing her hands on top of Kara’s… Which made Lena a _little_ bit uncomfortable.

Kara looked at their hands with confusion and shock, before she looked back up at Lena. “Lena?” She asked curiously.

45 swallowed again, and Lena gulped… This was the beginning of the end.

“Kara, I-I’ve wanted to say this for ages; but I’ve been scared, and cowardly. I know this is probably completely blind siding you, but just… Just hear me out, okay?”

Kara’s eyes were scared, and Lena had no idea why that hurt so much… but it did.

“Kara, my entire life, from the age of four onward; I’ve never felt loved. I’ve always felt tolerated at best. My father cared, but he was cold and neglectful, Lillian has always hated me because I’m just a reminder of Lionel’s affair, and Lex… he was always threatened by my superior intellect… So, even in the place I lived, I never felt at _home._ ”

Lena 45 let out a shaky breath before looking Kara in the eyes again. “Every time I made a friend, I always knew that they had an ulterior motive to being kind to me… They wanted to gain power or use my knowledge to help the get a better grade on their school project… And, Sam, well… we _are_ friends, but that only started because she needed a job.” She looked down at her table and wiped away a stray tear.

Lena’s heart burned… because Lena 45 was putting into words _exactly_ how Lena felt. Word for word.

45 looked back up to Kara and smiled longingly at her. “But then you came into my life.” She said with a tearful smile. “You, with you baby blue eyes, charming smile, and adorable cardigans. You came into my life, and befriended me, and asked for nothing but my friendship in return. You’ve stood by me, made me feel worthy, and always defended me in the face of a smearing campaign. And for the first time, I felt _home._ You believed in me in a way that no one ever has before. You’ve cared for me, challenged me, and lifted me up when no one else would have ever given me a second glance. So, I can’t help but feel butterflies every time I look at you.”

Kara’s brows furrowed. “Lena, I-,”

45 rose her hand slightly and shook her head. “Please let me finish what I’m trying to say before you kick me out.”

Kara’s mouth shut, but the crease between her brows stayed put.

Lena felt panic and pain as she watched the interaction, and all she wanted to do was escape and find a way to reverse time so that this all would stop. She hated hearing her feelings be voiced; especially from someone that wasn’t _her…_ Not the _real_ her at least.

45 let out another shaky breath before speaking again. “You’re the most special person in the world to me, Kara Danvers.” She started. “You are the only one that I lose sleep over; the only one who I can never get out of my mind. You’re the only one that I could talk to and never get bored. The only one that can make me smile, and laugh without even trying to. You’re the only one that can bring me out of my melancholy mood with just a simple smile. You are the only one that can affect my emotions with every action of yours, and the only reason you’re able to do that, is because I’m absolutely in love with you, and I can’t go on pretending like I’m not. I know that it’s extremely unhealthy, but I can’t help it… without you, Kara… I’m miserable, and I can’t be miserable anymore. You are the _only_ one for me. I know that you have options, and I know that Lucy is great, and I know that she’s beautiful, and that you love her; but I’d be an idiot to sit by and watch you fall in love with her, without at least letting you know that I’m in love with you.”

Kara sat, staring blankly at the table. “Oh.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did Lena 45 make the right move?
> 
> What do you think Kara is going to say?


	15. Chapter 15

Lena 45 and Kara had sat in silence for almost thirty minutes, and it was killing Lena. Kara had been staring at 45 inquisitively; as if she were studying her.

She hated that Lena 45 did this to her… She hated that Kara knew everything, and she hated that she was sitting in silence. She also hated the complete and utter disbelief and wariness that was on Kara’s face.

Lena wanted to scream out in pure agony… She needed to hear Kara say something.

Lena watched as Lena 45 fidgeted in her seat for a moment longer before she let out a shaky breath and met Kara’s eyes. “Please, Kara… Say _something_.”

Kara widened her eyes momentarily and let out a huff. “I-I didn’t expect this. I don’t know what to say. You’ve completely blindsided me.”

Lena swallowed, her heart thudding in her chest. _Please say that you feel the same way, please._ Lena begged internally.

Lena 45 licked her lips and bit her bottom one... she was clearly fighting her fight or flight instinct. “I-I know that Lucy is great, and I know that she’s beautiful… But I need you to know that I’m an option too.”

Kara shook her head; it was obvious that she was wary of Lena... Almost as if she sensed that there was something _not quite right_ with Lena 45. “I just… I don’t get it, _Lena_.” She said the name as if she didn’t think it belonged to the woman before her. “We were best friends for almost three years, and you never said a word. Then I come out as Supergirl, and you avoid me like the plague for three months… You come back, wanting to be my friend again out of the blue… And then as soon as I get a girlfriend, now you’re _in love_ with me? You were _just_ dating my ex… none of this makes any sense. How can you expect me to believe you’re genuine? Why now, after all this time, are you telling me this?”

Lena 45 visually scrambled for a way to explain this all to Kara. She seemingly found a solution and smiled victoriously. “Remember our first Thanksgiving together?” She asked.

Kara furrowed her brows, but said nothing… it was apparent that she was waiting for Lena 45 to dig herself into a hole; and Lena’s heart was beating rapidly in her chest… She really hoped that this story would line up, because Kara was getting tremendously suspicious.

“ _Yes_ …” Kara said warily.

“Remember when you and that jackass Mon-El got into that fight, and you said you weren’t sure what love was anymore?”

Lena’s heart fell to the floor… That didn’t happen on this Earth. The first Thanksgiving Kara and Lena had spent together, Mon-El had been with his wife at the DEO.

Kara jumped up from her position on the other side of the table and tackled Lena 45, pinning her against the wall, and all Lena could see from the iPad was Kara’s pants. “WHO ARE YOU? AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH LENA?” Kara demanded.

 

**XXX**

Within seconds, Kara and Lena 45 were in her living room, and Kara’s eyes went wide when she saw Lena tied up. “LENA!” She screamed worriedly as she threw the tied-up Lena 45 to the ground and then rushed to Lena’s side, breaking the cuffs that chained her to the chair and then removed the gag from her mouth. “Oh my Rao, Lena! Are you okay? Did she hurt you? What happened?”

Lena was just about to voice that she was, in fact, unharmed, when Lena 45 spoke up from her position on the floor. “She’s fine.”

Lena opened her mouth to speak, but a worried Kara spoke first. “Oh, Rao, Lena. I _knew_ something was off! At first, I really thought that it was you, but it didn’t make sense that you’d visit me twice in one night… Especially not after you promised to give me space. She wasn’t acting like you normally do after we sat down at the table, so I was really suspicious, and I mean… she said that she was in love with me, and I really doubted that as well. I mean, come one, you were dating James.” She gave a halfhearted smile before continuing. “But… I wasn’t sure because you two are literally identical. I f you tow came into a room together I couldn’t tell the difference between the two of you!”

She stopped her talking and x-rayed Lena from head to toe before sighing in relief. “You really _are_ okay.” She said with joy. “How long has she had you like this?”

Lena opened her mouth to speak, but, was _once again_ interrupted.

“I’ve had her held captive for about three months.” 45 lied, stunning Lena speechless.

Kara’s eyes went wide. “WHAT!? All this time and I… I never realized it wasn’t you?!” The guilt on Kara’s face was palpable, and Lena just wanted to wash it away as fast as she could because there was no reason for Kara to feel guilty; she _hadn’t_ missed anything; it _was_ Lena that had berated her after finding out the truth about Kara’s identity. Lena _was_ the one that had exiled her.

“N-,” She was cut off again, and she was really getting annoyed as she glared at 45 but was completely caught off guard by what her doppelganger had to say next.

“Well, to be fair, I _did_ avoid you for most of it.” Lena 45 started, her face emotionless… She was sacrificing her chance to go home to Earth 45, so that Lena could have a second chance with Kara, and Lena wasn’t quite sure she could go through with that… It all felt insurmountably wrong.

Kara looked back and forth between Lena and Lena 45.  She appeared to be confused, and heartbroken before she focused on Lena 45. “Who are you? What do you want with _my_ Lena? Why were you impersonating her?” She asked demandingly, stepping between the two Lenas, guarding her Lena from Lena 45.

Lena 45 smirked up at Kara from the floor, pretending to be malicious. “My name is Lena Luthor, and I’m from an alternate universe.”

“Why are you here? Why would you kidnap Lena for _three months_?” She asked incredulously. “Why did you pretend to be her for so long? Why did you pretend to be Lena wanting to reconcile with me? What is your endgame here?”

Lena had to admit, the way Kara was defending her, and guarding her from 45, melted her heart… It would be _so easy_ to go along with 45’s plan… But would it be right to do so? Kara would undoubtedly lock 45 up in the DEO… That wouldn’t be fair to 45. She didn’t deserve to be incarcerated for Lena’s inability to own up to her feelings for Kara… But what if she _could_ follow through with this plan, and then bust 45 out of the DEO’s prison? That could work… Right? That way she still had a chance with Kara, and Lena could still go back to Earth 45 and tell Lucy 45 to straighten her act up or let go of Kara 45… It could all work out, right?

But could she look at herself in the mirror if she lied to Kara like this? She looked at Kara, who was standing there, waiting for 45 to explain the circumstances, and she realized, that she would do anything… and she meant _anything_ to be with Kara… but she couldn’t live with her self if she lied to Kara like this. So, she opened her mouth, but when she tried to speak, 45 finally answered Kara’s question… With another, bold-faced lie.

“I’m here because, my life is boring on my Earth, and I just wanted to spice things up. Taking over another Lena’s life was a very successful way to do that.”

Kara turned around and looked at Lena, and when she did so, Lena caught 45 mouthing to her to “ _just play along.”_

Kara looked at her, her eyes softt and caring, and Lena’s heart melted at the sight… She’d missed seeing that. “Where did she keep you? And why did she bring you up here? Are you sure that you’re okay?”

Lena hated this idea, and she felt something in her gut tell her that this was a bad idea, but she saw that this had the best possibility of getting her back in Kara’s good graces, and even perhaps getting her an opportunity for more than just friendship with Kara, if she played her cards right… Her gut was telling her to tell the truth, but she rationalized against it. No other Lena but one had won Kara’s heart, so who was there to say that this was a _bad_ idea? No other Lena had tried this… This was the perfect opportunity to test this out, and as long as Kara never found out that she was lying, everything would be alright… Right? Because, if Kara believed that Lena hadn’t willingly abandoned her for three months, then the anger wouldn’t be there… Which meant that she would have a leg up above all of the Lenas. Even the one that had won Kara’s heart.

Plus, even Lena 45 thought that this was a good idea, and if another Lena was urging her to do it, it couldn’t genuinely be a _bad_ idea, right?

She felt it in her bones that this was wrong, but she was _desperate_ for Kara’s love, and truthfully, this was the only way that she could see herself ever getting it, and even this wasn’t a high chance… but even if she didn’t get Kara’s _love_ she would definitely get Kara’s friendship back.

Kara seemed to get worried after a few minutes of Lena being lost in thought, and she gently placed her hand on Lena’s bicep, waking her out of her controversy. “Lee?” She asked sweetly. “Are you okay?”

Lena swallowed, and knew that she would be eaten alive with guilt for what she was about to say next, but she was just too desperate to care. “I-… Um. She kept me in the basement. Remember the cage I kept Reign in? She kept me there. She brought me up here because after she got done toying with you, she planned to go to another Earth and set me free.”

Kara’s eyes dimmed, and guilt swarmed through them as she enveloped Lena in a tight embrace. Lena immediately wrapped her arms around Kara, and she held onto her for dear life as she reveled in the feeling of Kara’s love once more… But then, there was a moisture on Lena’s shoulder, and Lena soon realized, it was Kara’s tears… Her heart sank as Kara tightened her hold and began to sob. “I-I’m so sorry, Lena. I should have realized that it wasn’t you. I should have kept trying to reach you; if I had done that, then I would have realized sooner that the Lena talking to me wasn’t _my_ Lena.”

Lena eyed 45 from over Kara’s shoulder, and 45 nodded… This was what she wanted to happen… But Lena’s heart broke as she continued to hold a crying Kara. She hated seeing Kara cry. “Shhh. Kara, relax. It’s okay. It’s all okay, I promise.” She cooed. “It’s not your fault, and I’m fine. We’re all fine.”

Kara pulled back from Lena and nodded as she wiped her tears away. “Was it you that I told I was Supergirl?”

Lena looked to 45, and 45 shook her head no. So, Lena followed along. “No, but this Lena told me that you did.”

Kara looked away. “Are you upset?”

Lena shook her head, finally feeling that her second chance was here. “No, I understand why you kept it from me.”

Kara’s face lit up like a Christmas tree. “Really?”

Lena nodded with a smile. She realized right then that the keeping the lie going was going to be incredibly hard to live with, but if it gave her the opportunity to be with Kara? It was worth it. “Really.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was actually very scared to post this chapter... I almost didn't post it, but... Here it is. 
> 
> What do you think is going to happen?


	16. Chapter 16

Lena watched as Kara put Lena 45 into a prison cell at the DEO. She felt guilt course through her, but she said nothing. Lena 45 volunteered to do this, and she would eventually find a way to send her back to Earth 45… There was no doubt in her mind… That didn’t stop her from having questions. Questions that she _needed_ answers to, so when Kara locked the cell and turned to face her, Lena smiled nervously and spoke. “Would it be out of the question for me to stay and talk to her for a moment?”

Kara’s forehead creased. “Why would you want to do that?” She asked.

Lena bit her lip and shrugged her shoulders. “She held me for three months, and I just want to know _why_. Her story doesn’t make sense to me.”

Kara smiled and shook her head. “Leave it to you to want to find out your kidnapper’s true motives.” She chuckled. “I’ll be in the control room when you’re ready to go, okay?”

Lena smiled, relieved that her excuse worked. “Okay.” She nodded as she watched Kara exit.

As soon as the door closed behind her, Lena turned around to 45, who sat on the cot that the DEO issued cot inside the cage.

“Why are you doing this for me?” She asked, still completely perplexed about why 45 would risk never returning to her own Earth, just for Lena.

45 laughed and shook her head. “I will never get to be with my Kara.” She admitted. “Seeing her with Lucy is torturous, and seeing her cry over Lucy is devastating… But eventually, either Alex, J’onn or Eliza are going to put Lucy in her place, and when that happens, Lucy _will_ step up. As much as it kills me, and as undeserving as she is, she _does_ love Kara. She’s a dumbass, but she was there for Kara when _I_ wasn’t.”

Lena furrowed her brow. “What does that have to do with anything?” She asked.

Lena 45 chuckled sadly and shook her head as she looked at the ground. “As much as I want Kara to be happy, I don’t want to be there when it happens.”

Lena’s heart ached for the woman before her. “Why?”

45 looked up and sighed. “Because as devastating and torturous as it is seeing her hurt over Lucy, it’d fucking _end_ me to see her happy and not needing me anymore.”

 _So_ many things weren’t making sense to Lena… “So, you’d rather stay imprisoned on another earth for the rest of your life than see that?”

Lena 45 nodded. “Yes… Especially if it helps one of us get the chance to be with her Kara.”

Lena furrowed her brows. “But, you said that you were going to go back to Earth and put Lucy in her place… What were your plans after that?”

45 looked away stoically, and Lena’s heart dropped… 45 hadn’t been making plans for her _life_ at all. “You can’t be serious.” She said. “She _LOVES_ you!”

“Yes, but she also loves her, and she doesn’t believe in divorce.” 45 countered. “Plus, I’m not a homewrecker.”

“You would be willing to kill yourself without ever even trying? You’d be willing to do that to her? Don’t you see how heartbroken she’d be if you did that to her?” Lena asked, exasperated… Then she realized that Kara 45 would be devastated if Lena 45 went missing as well. She _had_ to get Lena 45 back to Earth 45 as soon as possible.

“Sometime soon, I’m going to get you out of here, and I’m going to get you back to your Earth as soon as I can.” She asserted. “And _when_ you get back to Earth 45, you’re going to tell Lucy what’s what… and then you’re going to be happy as Kara’s best friend.”

45 ground her teeth. “It’s too painful.” She said.

“Do you love her?” Lena asked.

“Of course, I do! She’s everything to me!” 45 growled.

Lena nodded. “Then it’s worth it.” She said.

Lena 45 huffed out a humorous laugh. “She’ll be the death of me.”

“Or she could be your saving grace,” Lena said with a raised brow.

45 rolled her eyes. “Yeah, well… Your saving grace is waiting for you in the control room. Make my incarceration worth it, and **GET THE GIRL**!”

Lena smiled at the woman who had just sacrificed her freedom for her. “I’m going to get you out of here.” She said. “I don’t know how, and I don’t know when, but I _will_.”

45 smiled sadly. “I’ll be here when you do.” She joked.

Lena gave a lighthearted chuckle to her doppelganger before she turned around and left the cell room. Her heart was heavy with guilt, but she knew that she _had_ to talk to Kara… and soon.

 

**XXX**

Lena walked into the control room as she nervously wrung her hands together… She had to talk to Kara, had to make her know just how much she loved her… But she had no idea how to do it while she lied straight to her face about everything else.

She saw Kara standing there, looking at a tablet that Alex was holding. She stood so regally in her Supersuit; her hands fisted on her hips, her back straight, her face focused; she was the epitome of beauty, and it caused Lena to go breathless just at the sight as butterflies swarmed her stomach and heart. She didn’t know how she could ever live without her and couldn’t even begin to imagine the utter agony the Kara-less Lena’s had to live through each and every day.

Alex looked up first, and saw her, and her face morphed into one of utter regret. “Lena!” She said before she put down the tablet she and Kara had been studying and rushed over to envelope Lena into a tight hug. “I’m so sorry!” She cried. “I should have known it wasn’t you. I should have known that you wouldn’t have treated Kara like that.” She pulled back, but kept her hands on Lena’s shoulders. “I’m sorry I doubted you.”

Lena smiled tightly as guilt overwhelmed her… Alex shouldn’t be apologizing. She had been right the entire time. “I-it’s fine. I understand.” She croaked out.

Alex smiled at her, then looked over to Kara who had just joined them. “You two have a lot to talk about.” She said.

Kara nodded with a small smile. “That’s for sure.” She said before linking her arm with Lena’s and guiding them towards the exit.

 

**XXX**

As they were walking, Kara smiled at her. “Did you get the answers you were looking for?”

Lena shook her head. “I tried. Really, I did, but she gave me nothing to go on.”

Kara smiled sadly. “Some people just don’t make sense, Lee. But what matters is that you’re safe.”

Lena’s heart did a backflip, and she nodded. “Yeah, you’re right.” She said, smiling before guilt consumed her… This was going to be hell.

 

**XXX**

Kara had flown them both to her loft, and then swiftly changed into her every day attire, before sitting down on the couch next to Lena. Her face was pure sadness. “I’m so, _so_ sorry that I didn’t realize that you were taken, Lena. If I had realized, I would have come to your rescue in a heartbeat.”

Lena felt guilt smother her heart, and squeeze it, but smiled and nodded through it. “I know that, Kara. Believe me, I do. You have nothing to be sorry about. This wasn’t your fault.”

Kara shook her head and grabbed Lena’s hand. “You are my best friend, Lena, and I love you so much. I would never, and will never, let you down like this again.”

Lena’s heart rate quadrupled as she looked at her and Kara’s joined hands, she wanted to enjoy it… but it was tainted by deception and guilt, and it felt like an anvil was weighing down her stomach. She swallowed at the lump in her throat and looked back up to Kara. “You could _never_ let me down, Kara. You have been the only person that has always been there for me, you could _never_ let me down, and you haven’t let me down. Do you hear me?” Lena asked, trying to instill in Kara the truth.

Kara squeezed her hand lightly before she stood up and walked over to her kitchen counter, opening a drawer and pulling out a black bracelet. She walked back over to Lena and sat down, taking her hand again, but then putting the bracelet around Lena’s wrist. She then pointed to the red and blue crest that Kara wore on her suit. “If at anytime in the future, there is a crisis, you push this button, and I will come running to you. I should have given you one a long time ago.”

Lena felt tears welling up behind her eyes. She meant so much to Kara, that she wanted to make sure she was always safe. “Thank you.” Lena said through a tight throat.

Kara smiled and rubbed her thumb along the back of Lena’s hand. “You’re welcome.” She declared before she wiped away a few stray tears as her smile turned into a confused frown. “Don’t cry, Lee. It was supposed to make you feel protected.”

Lena shook her head and chuckled through her tears. She felt so unworthy of Kara’s affection, yet so lucky to have it. “I’m not crying because I’m upset, Kara. I’m crying because I’m so happy that you think me worthy of one of these.”

Kara furrowed her brow. “Of course, I do, Lena. You’re my best friend.” She enveloped Lena into a tight embrace. “I’m so sorry you had to go through all of this.”

Lena burrowed her head into the nook of Kara’s neck and reveled in Kara’s hold. She hated that Kara blamed herself, but she also loved the affection she was finally getting from the Girl Of Steel after all that had happened. “I missed you,” Lena whispered.

Kara tightened her hold. “I missed you the entire time she refused to talk to me, too… It hurt so much to believe that you hated me.”

Lena shook her head. “I could _never_ hate you, Kara. _Never._ ”

Kara pulled back just far enough that she could meet Lena’s eyes and smiled. “Good. Because that would suck.” She joked.

Lena giggled. “It would suck if you hated me too.”

Kara pulled her back in for another hug. “I’m glad we’re on the same page.”

When they broke apart from the hug, Lena grabbed Kara’s hand again, her heart pounding out of her chest. It was now or never. “I um… There’s something that I need to tell you.”

Kara looked at her with so much compassion, and sincerity that it almost took Lena’s breath away. “You can tell me anything, Lee.”

Lena swallowed the nervous lump in her throat before taking a long, deep breath, and speaking. “I’m in love with y-,”

She was cut off by the door opening and Lucy struggling to carry multiple bags of groceries. “Babe, I could use a little help.” She grunted.

Kara was at her side in an instant, and picked up the eight bags before chuckling. “You’re not a Kryptonian like me, Luce.” She giggled.

Lena’s heart fell. “Hello, Lucy.” She said in a façade of friendliness.

Lucy looked over to Lena, and instantly rushed over to Lena. “I’m so glad you’re okay!” She said before she pulled back. “I know that we have never met, but Kara always cared about you so much. You sounded like such an amazing friend, so I was shocked when I heard about you tow’s falling out. I’m so glad that it wasn’t you, but I’m also so sorry that you had to go through all of that! It must have been terrifying!”

Lena nodded… This Lucy was spending an awful lot of time in National City for a workaholic whose law firm was based clear across the country… She was also extremely friendly, and incredibly hard to hate, and she felt guilty for deceiving her along with Alex and Kara. “I-… Thank you.” She croaked out.

Kara looked between the two of them and smiled. “I’m glad the two of you can finally meet.” She said.

Lena offered them a tight smile, instantly feeling out of place… She had no idea what to say, so instead of thinking, she said the first thing that popped into her head. “I thought that you lived in D.C?” She said. “Isn’t that where you’re starting your law firm?”

Lucy seemed shocked for a moment, but she quickly regained her composure. “Well, it _was_ , but I realized that even though I’m dating a superhero that can fly across the country anytime she wants to see me, sustaining a long distance relationship is extremely difficult, so I’ve decided to start my firm here in National City. I mean, I can have a law firm anywhere, but I can’t just expect Kara to up an leave her entire family for me… especially since I have nothing in D.C to tie me there besides work; and I can work anywhere.”

Lena’s world began to tilt on its axis… _This_ Lucy was the total opposite of Lucy 45… Which was going to make things ten times harder for her.

 

**XXX**

Lucy had made them dinner, and the entire time she had stayed engaged in the conversation between the three of them. She had laughed at Kara’s jokes, shown Kara an enormous amount of physical affection, and had shown interest in Kara’s stories… She had been the exact opposite that Lena had pictured her, and when Lena left for the evening, she had felt hopeless.

She had _finally_ gotten ready to tell Kara about her feelings. She had _finally_ begun to speak the first few words of her confession, but then had been interrupted by the perfect girlfriend.

Even if she _did_ tell Kara, at this point, how could she ever expect Kara to leave Lucy for her? There was no good reason for her to. She loved Lucy, and Lucy loved Kara… She was attentive, and caring, and _gorgeous_ , so… Honestly, how could she even compete?

She started to go over all the things she’d witnessed on the multiple Earths, and she realized… The universe was _against_ her. She was miserable on almost every other Earth… So, wasn’t _that_ most likely what her destiny was? To live a life watching the only person she could ever love, be with someone else… Or be the cause of her death, or paralysis of her beloved sister?

She was destined to be miserable.

The realization made perfect sense to her. She was a Luthor, and no one had ever genuinely loved her... It was most likely impossible to. She was a monster, who let her own mother drown. A monster, who killed an innocent man in the name of science. A monster that couldn't even pull back her beloved brother from the brink of insanity.

Who was she to think that she could ever be loved by an angel like Kara? An angel that had saved the Earth from imminent doom time and time again. An angel that risked her life for an ungrateful planet countless times. An angel that-

“Lena?” A timid Kara called out, interrupting Lena’s reverie.

Just then, Lena realized that she was crying and wiped her tears away before she looked back up to see Kara, standing on her balcony, looking concerned, but obviously not wanting to enter the penthouse without permission.

“Kara!” Lena said, clearing her throat before gesturing for the Kryptonian to come in.

Kara did, and she sat down right beside Lena. “Are you okay?” She asked, gently rubbing Lena’s back.

Lena looked over to the woman that she loved and nodded. “Much better now that you’re here.” She admitted.

Kara smiled. “Well, I’m glad I could help.”

Lena’s heart fluttered at the woman she loved. “What brings you to this end of town?”

“You,” Kara replied.

Lena’s heart fluttered, and hope rose in her chest. “M-me?”

Kara nodded. “I wanted to check on you, to see how you were doing after everything, and I also remembered that you were wanting to tell me something before Lucy came back.”

Lena nodded. “Oh, right… Um… It was nothing important, really.” She said as she made a dismissive gesture with her hand.

Kara bumped her shoulder. “Oh, come on, Lee. You were about to say something, and it _did_ seem important to you then.”

Lena bit her lip. She then thought about Lena 45 and how she’d sacrificed her freedom for her. She thought about all the Lenas who’d lost their Karas before they even had the _chance_ to tell them how they felt. She realized that even if she the entire multiverse was against her, even if the odds were stacked in her favor, she could never stop loving Kara, and then she looked into Kara’s eyes, and saw the sincerity, and care… And finally, at long last, the words fell from her lips as naturally as breathing. “I love you, Kara.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SHE FINALLY DID IT!
> 
> Will Kara be happy?


	17. Chapter 17

Kara blinked, and then her eyes went wide. “The way you’re saying that makes it sound like…” She cut herself off, shock evident on her face.

Lena let out a shaky breath; her heart was thudding in her chest as she slowly brought Kara’s hand up to her lips and pressed a tender kiss on it; never taking her eyes away from Kara’s shocked ones. “I love you. I love you more than anything, Kara.”

Kara sat in shock. She shook her head before swallowing audibly. “N-no.” She said with a shaky voice. “You’re just very grateful to me for saving you from the Evil Lena. Y-you’re transferring your gratitude into love. You’re not in love with me.”

Lena’s face crinkled in pain; she hated that Kara couldn’t see how much she truly loved her. She needed to think of a way to make Kara understand the depth of her love for her. To make her see that she genuinely was in love with her.

She got an idea; and hoped to god that it worked. “When the other me came to you, and confessed her feelings for you, every word she said was true. She had to have read my diary, because her words are word for word how I feel about you, Kara. Everything that you are, and everything that you do, makes me happy. Your smile, your laugh, the way you talk, and dress. The way you always stand up for me. _EVERYTHING_ … It all just takes my breath away.”

Kara stayed speechless for a while longer; she looked as if she was contemplating what she should say next. “H-how long have you felt this way?” She asked.

Lena smiled longingly at Kara. “From the moment I first laid eyes on you.”

Kara furrowed her brows, “But you dated James?”

Lena nodded and sighed in shame. “I did. But I never loved him, I just wanted to be closer to you.”

Kara stood up rapidly, making Lena fear that Kara’s was about to end their friendship. “W-why didn’t you ever say anything, Lena? I-,” She shook her head before turning around and meeting Lena’s eyes. “I never even noticed.”

Lena bit her lip to stop it from trembling. “I was scared. I was scared that you didn’t like women. I was scared that you wouldn’t want _me_. Scared that you’d be disgusted at the thought of a Luthor loving a Super.”

Kara’s face contorted into one of incredulous sorrow. “Lena. I would _never_ be disgusted by the thought of you loving me. Your last name doesn’t define you, Lee. We’ve been over this so many times now. You are _good_.”

Lena nodded. “I still didn’t know if you were attracted to women.”

Kara chuckled. “Well… I _am_.” She sat back down next to Lena. “On Krypton, sexuality isn’t even a thing. We aren’t as divisive as humans are. We just… love who we love.” She shrugged.

Lena smiled nervously. “So… you aren’t mad?”

Kara laughed and shook her head. “No, I’m not mad. I’m just… confused.” She admitted. “Why now, Lee? Why tell me now, after all this time? Now that I’ve got a girlfriend?”

Lena swallowed, she had no idea how to answer that without telling Kara about all the Earths that she’d traveled to. “Because I’m tired of hiding it.” She stated. “I’m tired of pretending that being your best friend is enough for me. I’m tired of pretending that seeing you kiss someone else doesn’t absolutely destroy me. I’m tired of falling asleep at night wondering if I’ll get to see you the next day or not. I’m sick of dreaming that you’re in love with me too, and then waking up to an empty bed and the harsh reality that I’m not who you’re in love with, and I’m sick of lying to you.”

Kara smiled sadly and grabbed Lena’s hand. “Lena, you mean so much to me.” She started. “You are my best friend, the person I come to when I need to ground myself again. You are strong, and brave, and astonishing, and I wouldn’t know what to do if I thought you hated me… and I never want to cause you any type of pain… _ever_ ; but, I’m with Lucy, Lena.”

Lena fought back tears as she nodded. “Was there _ever_ a chance?” She asked. “A chance that we could have been together?”

“I-…” Kara cut herself off, and lowered her head, a crinkle on her forehead as she thought. “I really don’t know.”

At that moment, she could no longer fight her tears, and they began gushing down her face. She stood up and walked over to her decanter, facing away from her best friend. “Y-you should probably go. It’s getting late.”

Kara was immediately at her side. As she pleaded with a frantic voice. “Lena, please! I don’t want to lose you!”

Lena swallowed the pain and turned around to look Kara in the eye. “You’re _never_ going to lose me, Kara. I can’t even imagine living in a world without you.” She said sadly. “I just… I can’t handle the pain I feel when I look at you right now.”

Kara’s tears came next, and Lena’s heart shattered. No matter how much pain she was feeling, she could never allow Kara to cry because of her. “Kara, please don’t cry.”

“I never knew, Lena. I-I never knew.” She cried out as she reached out for Lena.

Lena’s stomach churned at the sight of Kara crying and allowed her to pull her into a tight hug. She hadn’t expected this to go well, but she had never thought that they both would be crying at the end of it… She’d expected Kara to fly off in disgust back to her apartment and leave Lena alone to cry in utter devastation on her bathroom floor. The fact that Kara seemed to be so broken because she was inadvertently hurting Lena made Lena fall in love with the Kryptonian even more… Kara was too pure and good for Earth.

“I-I’m so sorry, Lena.” Kara cried. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

Lena hugged her tighter as she let her tears fall gracelessly from her eyes. “It isn’t you that’s hurting me, Kara. I hurt myself by hoping that someone like you could _ever_ love someone like me.”

Kara pulled back and fixed Lena with a mortified expression. “Lena!” She said incredulously. “I _do_ love you!”

Lena adverted her eyes, and Kara placed a finger under Lena’s chin, pulling her head back up to meet so she was forced to meet Kara’s eyes. The intensity in them took Lena’s breath away. “You are one of the most exceptional human beings I have ever met, Lena. You have suffered through _so much_ , and every time you have come out on top. You are strong, intelligent beyond human comprehension, loyal to a fault, independent, and gorgeous. Anyone on the _planet_ would be lucky to be able to love you.”

Lena swallowed, her heart aching, her stomach twisting, her lungs constricting. “Then love me, Kara. _Please_.”

The pain and conflict on Kara’s face was palpable as she shook her head slowly. “I’m with Lucy.”

Lena nodded. “I know, and I was with James, but I ended that.”

“You can’t ask me to do that, Lena. I love her. You didn’t love James. And I don’t… I-… I don’t know what I feel for you, Lee.”

Lena swallowed back her emotions and forced up the courage she needed to do what she was about to do. She knew it was wrong, but she’d been waiting years to do it. “Well, maybe this will help.” She said before she cupped Kara’s face in her hands and pulled her in for a kiss.

Kara let go of her immediately; she put her arms up as if she was surrendering to the police and made no move to kiss Lena back; which absolutely devastated her. She pulled back, and instantly realized what she had done; she had just kissed a taken woman.

“K-Kara, I-,” Lena trailed off; she couldn’t say that she was sorry that she kissed her… that’d be a lie, and she’d lied to Kara enough already.

Kara shook her head, eyes wild. “Lena, I’m with Lucy.”

“You keep saying that, but you aren’t saying that you don’t feel the same way.” Lena asserted.

Kara shook her head. “I-I don’t know, Lena, but I do know that I’m with Lucy. Can… Can we please just be friends? I don’t want to lose you, Lena.”

Lena bit back her whimper. “I don’t want to lose you either, Kara.”

 

**XXX**

It had been two weeks since she had told Kara the truth, and although things were tense between them, she at least made Lena know that she wasn’t going to end their friendship. Lena realized that she had fucked up… She shouldn’t have kissed Kara without consent, especially because Kara had a girlfriend, but she still couldn’t find it in herself to regret it, even if things had been a bit tense between Kara and herself for the past week.

She hated how awkward things were between herself and Kara; she hated the way she’d catch Kara staring at her with a strange look on her face when she thought that Lena wasn’t paying attention. She hated the way Lucy now glared at her (because of course, Kara wouldn’t hide something like that from her girlfriend, she was much too loyal for that).

She was sitting at her home-office desk, waiting for Alex to respond to her text that requested a visit to Lena 45, she’d been trying furiously to get in and sneak her the extrapolator, but so far, Alex had denied her visitation every time.

Her heart was aching, the dejection she felt, although two weeks old, still felt brand knew. She tried to focus on her paperwork, but her mind kept slipping back to Kara; and the way her lips felt pressed against hers. The way her rock hard body felt beneath her hands. She thought about her musical laugh, her flawless smile, the crinkle she got on her forehead when she got flustered; and most of all, she thought about her warm hugs.

She smiled as she kept thinking about her best friend, the woman that she loved, the woman that she would _always_ love.

Her heart started to ache as she realized that she too, like 51 others, was doomed to a Kara-Less life. Kara was happy with Lucy, loved Lucy, wanted to be with Lucy… Lucy had everything Lena had ever wanted.

A tear slipped down from her eye, and she was just about to text Kara, to ask her how her day was, when there was a knock at her door.

Lena stood up and walked over to her door. She opened it and was shocked to see Kara standing there. She smiled nervously, her heart fluttering at the sight of the hero. “Hey.”

Kara offered her a sad smile. “I hate this, Lee.”

Lena frowned. “You hate what?”

“This!” She gestured between them. “I can’t deny it anymore.” She shook her head. “I have feelings for you, _strong_ feelings, but I love Lucy too.” She looked down, a melancholy expression on her face. “The reason I’ve been acting so weird around you, is that I don’t trust myself around you anymore.”

Lena’s heart was thudding, her stomach swarming with butterflies. “Y-you have _feelings_ for me?!” She never, _ever_ thought she’d hear that come from Kara’s mouth.

Kara nervously bit her lip. “Yes.” She admitted. “I never realized it until you kissed me, and I felt something... a _spark_. I-I know I said that I wasn’t sure what I felt, but I think I know what it is now.”

Lena’s heart rate spiked as hope rushed through her like a powerful tsunami. Could Kara be saying what she thought she was saying? After all this time, was Kara finally saying that she wanted her? “Say it, Kara.” She croaked out. “Say it, or I won’t believe it.”

Kara smiled tearfully at Lena. “I’m saying, I love you too, Lena.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think Kara's going to do now?


	18. Chapter 18

Lena’s heart leaped with joy, her stomach filled with butterflies, and her chest filled with hope. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing; against all odds, against the multiverse’s wishes… _Kara Danvers_ was in love with her. Her breathing was erratic as she stood frozen in shock in front of Kara.

“Y-you love me?” She asked in a squeaky voice.

Kara smiled, pain in her eyes as she nodded. “I do, Lena. I really do, but I-I love Lucy too, Lee… And I don’t want to hurt her.”

Lena’s heart sank, the pain and confliction in Kara’s eyes was so palpable that it ate away at her. She knew that Lucy wasn’t like the Earth 45 version of herself. She was willing to sacrifice her law firm for Kara. She showed genuine interest in her as well… She was much worthier of Kara’s love than Lena was… and she made Kara happy. As much as it killed Lena, she knew that she should step back and let Kara be happy with Lucy; and she was about to, but when she looked into Kara’s ocean-blue eyes, she got lost in them, and she realized that although she _should_ let Kara be happy with Lucy, should let them be happy _together_ despite it making her miserable; she couldn’t. She knew it was selfish, but she was going to fight tooth and nail for Kara.

“If you break up with her, it may hurt her for a while, but Kara… I can’t _live_ without you.” She reached up and cupped Kara’s tear stained cheek, and Kara closed her eyes and leaned her head into the touch; causing Lena’s breath to hitch. “I know you’re happy Kara. You’re happy, and you are loved, and that’s _all_ I want for you, but if you just give me _one_ chance, I promise to treat you like a queen. I will never betray you, I will always make you my priority, I will love you more than anyone or anything on this planet, and I will take care of you just like you’ve always taken care of me. Just give me a chance. Just _one_ chance, Kara. That’s all I’m asking for.” She knew that she was begging, and she knew she should be ashamed of herself, but as she looked into Kara’s teary sapphire orbs, she couldn’t find it in herself to care… This was Kara, and she’d do far more than plead for a chance to be with her if it came down to it.

Her heart was on her sleeve, and she felt more vulnerable than she had ever before, but when Kara’s face crumpled, and she began crying harder, all Lena felt was guilt for putting her in this situation. Guilt for lying to her. Guilt for everything she’d ever done that hurt Kara. She pulled the Kryptonian into her arms and held her as they both cried. Lena, crying for everything she’d experienced over the past month; the multiple Earths, the multiple outcomes, the heartbreak of watching Kara love someone else.

“I-I’m so confused, Lee.” Kara whimpered as they finally broke apart from the hug. “I know now that you weren’t purposely avoiding me, but when I thought you _were_ , Lucy was there, you know? She was there for me, and helped me and she’s always been there for me when I needed her. She’s amazing.”

Lena smiled, fighting to contain the pain that spread throughout her body when she heard how ‘amazing’ Kara thought Lucy was, but then Kara continued.

“But then there’s you,” She said, piquing Lena’s hope. “You’re amazing too, and although we’ve known each other a for a little less than I’ve known Lucy, you’ve been there for me just as much. You’ve saved my life, always told me the truth, have proven time and time again that you’d never hurt me; and although we’ve had our differences in opinion, we’ve always figured out a way to come back to each other. You’re amazing, Lena… and I-,” She lowered her head and sighed defeatedly. “I love you both, I don’t want to hurt either of you.”

Lena swallowed, hearing Kara talk so highly of her melted fed her love-starved soul like nothing ever before, but it also ate away at her… because if Kara knew what she was hiding, she’d hate her for it. “Kara, you are the most incredible woman in the galaxy. To be hurt by you, would be an honor.”

Kara furrowed her brow, her face looking mortified. “Lena, _no_.” She said as she shook her head. “I-… No one deserves to be hurt like this. I don’t w _ant_ to hurt anyone like this.”

Lena smiled at the purity that was Kara and shook her head. “I know, but being hurt by you would still be an honor.”

Kara was looking at her with a face full of incredulity. “Why do you think that? I-, I’m just a person, Lena. I’m not a god, I’m not a saint I-,”

Lena cut her off. “You _are_ a saint,” She asserted. “You have god-like powers so, _technically_ you are a goddess, and you are a hero. A humble, gorgeous, selfless hero, who anyone would be lucky to be within ten miles of.”

Kara still looked at her disbelievingly. “Lena… Soldiers are heroes, cops are heroes, firefighters are heroes, does that make them all gods and saints too?”

Lena shook her head. “You’re a goddess because you do all of it for free.”

Kara rose her brow. “Some of them do too.”

Lena frowned but huffed and countered. “Some of them are corrupt, and others do their jobs for selfish reasons.”

Kara smiled. “I do it for selfish reasons too.”

Lena furrowed her brows. “No, you don’t? What on _Earth_ could  possibly be considered selfish behind your motives?”

Kara wrapped her arms around Lena and smiled. “All the times I’ve saved Alex and risked the lives of others? That was because she’s my sister, and I love her. I can’t imagine my life without herm because she’s always been there for me, so I saved her first before saving others… That was selfish. The times I went out of my way to save you, risking my life and the entire towns if I dropped the chemicals? That too, was selfish… But I didn’t care, because you were my best friend, and I couldn’t imagine my life without you, so… I didn’t care, I saved you regardless. Because I _love_ you.”

Lena shook her head. “No, that’s not being selfish, Kara. That’s just being hum-,” She cut herself off.

“ _Human_?” Kara asked with a chuckle. “It’s human nature to be selfish, Lena… That doesn’t make me a bad person, it just makes me _not_ a goddess. I’m not human, but I have a human heart, and sacrificing the people I love? My human heart isn’t capable of that.”

Lena couldn’t believe how humble, and kind the woman before her truly was. Kara my not be a god to herself, but to Lena? Kara would _always_ be the goddess of her heart.”

 

**XXX**

“So, you’re going to try to make it work with her?” She asked a few hours later.

Kara nodded. “I have to.” She said solemnly. “No matter how much I love you, I love _her_ too.”

Lena smiled sadly, tears falling down her face. “I understand, I really do… but it doesn’t make it any less painful.”

Kara’s bottom lip was trembling. “I’m _sorry_.” She cried.

Lena shook her head, refusing to let Kara feel bad for choosing to love someone else. She rose her hands up and used her thumbs to wipe away the Kryptonian’s tears. “You don’t need to be sorry, Kara. You’re being a loyal girlfriend. There’s nothing wrong about that.”

Kara looked so pained that it broke Lena’s heart even more. “But I’m _hurting_ you.”

“Are you happy?” Lena asked.

Kara frowned. “At this moment? No.”

Lena shook her head. “Are you happy with _her_?” She couldn’t force herself to say the name.

Kara nodded, adding even more pain to Lena’s already broken heart.

“Then I will be okay.” Lena lied, she wouldn’t be okay… she’d be far from it, actually.

“Will you please still be my best friend?” Kara asked in a small voice. “I can’t lose you, Lena.”

Lena smiled. “Kara, don’t you know that I can’t even breathe without you? There’s nothing you could do that would make you lose me.”

Kara frowned. “Lena, that’s not at all heal-.”

“I know it’s not considered ‘healthy’,” Lena interrupted “but sometimes, you love someone so much that it’s just… impossible to be without them.” She shrugged. “And I’ve found that with you, Kara.”

Kara frowned. “I want you to be happy, Lena.”

Lena let out a small, sad, laugh. “As long as you’re happy, I’ll be okay.”

Kara shook her head. “Okay, and happy are two completely different things, Lena.”

“I know, Darling.” Lena admitted sadly.

“Lena… _please_ , I can’t be the only thing that makes you happy.” Kara said desperately.

Lena chuckled melancholily. “I have L-Corp, and a long-distance friendship with Sam… What is there to make me happy, Kara?”

Kara frowned. “I-I don’t know! You could travel. Traveling makes lots of people happy.”

Lena rose a brow. “Travel with _whom_?”

“M-me?”

Lena laughed. “Do you really believe that Lucy would be comfortable with you sleeping in a hotel room with another woman that you love? Plus, that would just further prove my point, I can only be happy with _you_ , Kara.”

Kara frowned. “I don’t like that.” She said with a serious shake of her head.

Lena sighed, and reached for Kara’s hand. “I have never been happy, until I met you, Kara. It makes a lot of sense that you’re the only one that can make me happy.”

Kara squeezed her hand gently. “I hope that our friendship can make you happy, Lena. I really do. You deserve happiness more than anyone.”

Lena’s heart leaped with joy at the comment. “You’re amazing, Kara. Thank you.”

 

**XXX**

She had no idea what to do. Every time she was with Kara, all she wanted was to lean in and kiss her. The pain and loved mixture that she felt inside her chest was torturous; she was jealous beyond comprehension, and she was miserable all the same.

It didn’t help that Kara looked at her longingly whenever they were together.

She sat on Kara’s couch during game night a week later; Kara, Lucy, Lena, Brainy, Alex (and her new girlfriend, Kelly), and Nia all sat around the coffee table as they played ‘The Game Of Life’. Brainy was in the lead, Kara not far behind him, and Lena was just enjoying the sight of Kara being incredibly competitive towards her Coluan friend, it was utterly adorable.

She was enjoying it all, until the moment Lucy put herself in Kara’s lap, and placed a long, celebratory kiss on Kara’s lips after Kara _finally_ got ahead of Brainy.… Lena’s stomach lurched at the sight, and she jumped up from the couch, rushing to Kara’s bathroom.

Kara’s face went stoic as she escaped Lucy’s grasp and rushed after her. “Lena! Are you okay?”

Lena locked the bathroom door, knowing that realistically it couldn’t shield her from Kara; (not only did Kara have x-ray vision, but she also had the ability to bust the door down with a slight flick of a finger) but it made her feel better.

She leaned over the toilet bowl, her stomach feeling as if it was about to rupture; when she heard the doorknob bust, and Kara walked in, pulling Lena’s hair into a ponytail, and holding it up for her as Lena continued kneeling above the toilet.

Lena’s heart melted, and she smiled, her stomach easing a tad bit, until she thought about why she was leaning over the bowl, and she immediately hurled the contents of her stomach (pizza and pot stickers from the game night) into the bowl.

 “Shhh, Lena… It’s okay. I’m here. You’re okay. I’ve got you.” Kara cooed, as she rubbed gentle circles over her back.

And Lena knew that Kara didn’t realize just how true those last three words were.

 

**XXX**

Kara had sent her friends home after that, declaring that Lena was sick and needed rest.

Lena had protested, had said that she was fine. She had even at one point offered up the idea that she could go home and let the ‘super friends’ continue on with their game night; but Kara had refused and insisted that Lena stay with her so that she could keep an eye on Lena.

So, that’s where she was now, laying in Kara’s bed, while she heard Lucy and Kara whisper-arguing in the hallway. Lena frowned, she wouldn’t like it if her girlfriend had another woman in her bed either, so she understood where Lucy was coming from, she wasn’t being unreasonable about it, all things considered.

Finally, the incessant whispering stopped, and a door slammed loudly before Kara came into the room eyes downtrodden.

“You know I’m perfectly fine, right? I just ate a bit too much.” Lena lied. “you shouldn’t have put Lucy in this type of situation.”

Kara rolled her eyes. “You’re a terrible liar, Lee. You’re sick. You only ate one slice of pizza and three pot stickers. That’s really nothing, honestly.”

Lena laughed nervously… Kara had no idea that Lena was currently lying to her about something massive... “It’s only nothing when compared to what _you_ eat.” She countered.

Kara laughed. “Oh, hush.” She said with a dismissive wave.

There was an awkward silence for a few more moments, before Lena finally asked something she was worrying about. “Do you think Alex is ever going to allow me to talk to the other Lena?” She asked nervously.

Kara shook her head. “I told her not to. She has some type of effect on you Lena, you’re obsessed with her, it’s not healthy, especially after what she did to you. It’s like you have Stockholm syndrome or something. YOu’ve been asking to see her every day since I rescued you.”

Lena’s heart fell… She needed to get 45 the extrapolator. “No. It’s not like that.. I-I just want to see her.”

“Why?” Kara asked. “It doesn’t make sense why you want to see your kidnapper so badly, Lena.”

Lena sighed, this was a dead-end conversation. If she wanted to see Lena 45, she was going to have to break into the DEO.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think Lena is going to do next?


	19. Chapter 19

Lena stayed laying in Kara’s bed as instructed by Kara. Kara had given Lena a pair of pajamas to change into about an hour ago and had insisted that they watch movies in the bedroom so that Lena could get the ‘maximum amount of rest possible.’

Lena, although perfectly healthy, was going to enjoy being pampered by Kara that night. She’d already tried countless times to insist that she was fine, but Kara said that people don’t throw up if they are fine… So, Lena finally gave up protesting long ago, and allowed Kara to take care of her.

Kara finally came in with a freshly made bowl of soup on a tray and placed it on Lena’s lap. “Eliza used to make this for Alex whenever she didn’t feel well, so I thought it’d be perfect for you right now.”

Lena’s heart melted a little at the tenderness in Kara’s voice and eyes. “You’re incredible.”

Kara’s face lit up, and she smiled adoringly at her. “I’m just taking care of my sick best friend.” She stated.

Lena wanted to tell her that she _wasn’t_ actually sick, that she just was overcome with jealousy and heartache that her stomach decided to revolt… but she knew that would only make Kara feel even guiltier than she already did, and that wasn’t what she wanted… Not at _all_.

When Kara started bringing in couch cushions, and placing them on the floor in a square, confusion took over Lena. “What are you doing?”

Kara smiled as she grabbed the remote to the bedroom tv and turned it on. “Making a nest for myself.” She joked.

Lena furrowed her brow. “Why are you sitting on the floor? This is _your_ home.”

Kara looked up at her like the answer was completely obvious. “Because you’re sick?”

Lena nodded, her face full of confusion. “Yes, but this is a queen size bed, Kara…”

Kara sighed and shook her head. “Lucy is already mad enough at me. I don’t need her walking in and then seeing us in bed together. She’s been incredibly understanding through this all, and I don’t want to make things harder on her than they already are.”

Lena’s heart ached. She knew Kara was right, but it still hurt to know that now that she had admitted her feelings to Kara, things were going to be different. She sighed and watched her spoon as she swirled it around in her soup. “I really wish you hadn’t told her, Kara.”

Kara frowned. “I couldn’t _hide_ it, Lena. Lies and secrets ruin relationships more than mistakes do… I don’t want to do that.”

Lena’s stomach churned… She’d been lying to Kara, and keeping such a massive secret from her for a while now, and it made her worry about the outcome if Kara ever found out… But, to be honest, she didn’t see that happening. As soon as Lena 45 was back to her Earth safely, the truth about what she’d done would be safely locked away in the deep recesses of Lena’s mind. “W-well you kept being Supergirl a secret from me.” She countered.

Kara looked a bit angry that Lena had brought it up, and Lena instantly regretted it… She knew it wasn’t the same. “I kept Supergirl a secret for so long because I was protecting _you_. If I had kept my feelings for you, and your kiss a secret from Lucy, I’d have been protecting _myself_. It would have been selfish, and a form of cheating, now that I think about it.”

Lena’s heart burned with fear and guilt… It was clear that Kara was a firm believer in always telling the truth whenever possible, so it was _imperative_ that Kara never found out that Lena was lying to her about being kidnapped for three months.

 

**XXX**

“Do you ever wonder what it would be like if you chose me?” Lena asked as she looked down at Kara who was laying on her ‘nest’ of cushions on the floor.

Kara looked up from the movie and smiled sadly. “Lena…”

“You still could, you know…”

Kara furrowed her brows. “Still could what?”

“Choose me,” Lena stated it, her tone practically pleading.

“Lena… I can’t do that to Lucy. I love her too, and I’ve already got a relationship with her.” Kara said firmly.

“But what about _us_ , Kara?” Lena asked, her voice desperate. “You practically flung Lucy to the floor when you saw me rushing to the bathroom! You love me!”

Kara looked at her, visibly desperate for this conversation to end. “I would have done the same thing if it were Alex!”

“But it w _asn’t_ Alex, Kara! It was _me_!”

Kara grabbed the remote and shut the tv off. “I do love you, Lena. And if it were any other circumstance, I’m sure we’d be a good couple, but Lena… I have a _girlfriend_.”

Lena clenched her jaw, she knew she’d promised to be supportive of Kara’s decision, but she just couldn’t find it in herself to accept Kara’s decision. “What about that saying?”

Kara’s forehead crinkled. “Which saying?”

“The one that goes something like… If you fall in love with two people, choose the second one because if you truly loved the first, there wouldn’t have been a second?”

Kara sighed and lowered her head. “There’s a problem with that logic in this instance.” She said. “I don’t know which one of you I loved first.”

Lena’s heart fell… For some reason, hearing the doubt in Kara’s voice destroyed her.

 

**XXX**

Two days later, Lena was sitting at her desk in L-Corp, going  over the blueprint she’d found of the DEO. She’d been studying it thoroughly for the past three and a half hours, trying to find any way she could sneak in without being detected.

She growled and slammed her hands on the desk when she finally concluded that there was, in fact, absolutely _no_ way she could sneak in… She had to find another solution.

Lena had just managed to put the blueprint in her desk drawer when she heard footsteps land on her balcony. She swallowed back her excitement and turned around to see her favorite Kryptonian… favorite _person_ standing before her. She smiled. “To hat do I owe the pleasure of your company?”

“I just missed you… So I guess yourself, really.” Kara chuckled.

Lena shook her head and giggled adoringly at the woman before her. “You really do know how to make a girl feel special.”

Kara smiled. “You _are_ , special, Lee.”

“Not as special as _Lucy_ , though I’m afraid.” Lena sassed back without thinking, but as soon as the words escaped her mouth, she instantly felt regret and guilt rise through her.

Kara instantly scoffed and shook her head. “You know what? This is hard enough without the added insults, Lena. I don’t need you bullying me every chance you get. I try to make you both happy. But no matter what I do, I’m going to win _and_ lose because I’m going to have to hurt someone I care about. I hate that you’re hurting Lena, I do… more than you can imagine. I barely sleep because I know that I’m causing you pain. I barely sleep because I love you too and because of that I feel like I’m cheating on Lucy and I’m just emotionally exhausted. I feel like I’m betraying Lucy every time I see or even _think_ of you, but when I don’t see you, I feel like a part of me is missing, and you’re always in my mind, Lena so I always feel like a cheater. I can’t handle these constant attacks on top of it all, Lena.”

Lena’s bottom lip trembled as she stood up and walked over to Kara. She hated that this was so hard for Kara… It ate away at Lena more than she thought possible, but she couldn’t stop fighting for Kara… especially not, not when she knew just how much Kara loved her. “I-I’m sorry for insulting you, Kara… I truly am, but doesn’t what you just said tell you that _I_ am the one you love more? You just said that you feel like a piece of you is missing when you’re away from me. That you never stop thinking about me… Shouldn’t that tell you something?”

Kara smiled sadly at Lena and cupped one of Lena’s cheeks with her hand. “It tells me that I’m in trouble.”

Lena chuckled tearfully. She grabbed Kara’s wrist with both of her hands and leaned her head into the hand that Kara was cupping cheek with. “I love you so much, Kara. All I want is for you to be happy. I know that I’ve been acting selfish, and I’ve been trying to be better, but it’s just so _hard_ to know that we both love each other, but we can’t be together… We’re so close, yet so _far_ away.”

A tear fell from Kara’s eye. “I have to go, or I’m going to do something incredibly stupid.” She cried out as she tried to pull her hand away from Lena’s cheek.

Lena panicked, and tightened her hold on Kara’s wrist; she knew that she wasn’t strong enough to stop the strongest person on the planet, but Kara would never risk hurting her, so she allowed Lena to stop her. “Do it. Do something stupid, Kara.”

Kara bit her trembling lip as tears cascaded down her face. She shook her head “Lena, _please_.” She begged. “I _need_ to go.”

Lena shook her head. “No, you don’t! You can stay here, with _me_ , and love _me_.”

Kara’s eyes flitted back and forth between Lena’s eyes and lips. “You need to let me go, Lena. I can’t- I can’t do this.”

Lena tightened her hold on Kara’s wrist so much that her knuckles turned white. She knew Kara wouldn’t risk hurting her. And Kara shook her head, her face looking heartbroken before she rushed forward and connected her lips with Lena’s.

Lena’s eyes went wide, unable to believe that this was _FINALLY_ happening before she closed them and wrapped her arms around Kara. She kissed back fervently, butterflies celebrating in her stomach, her heart beating out of her chest with excitement and love, and the only thing her mind could think was… _Finally._

Kara picked her up, and pinned her against the wall, as she continued to kiss with even more passion.

Lena smiled against Kara’s lips as she continued to kiss her, but then, Kara placed her back down and pulled away, her face looking mortified. “W-what did I just do?!”

Lena smiled in confusion. “I- you kissed me?” She was elated that it had finally happened, but the look on Kara’s face told her that she shouldn’t be.

Kara shook her head. “N-no. _No_! No no no! I-I don’t do this! I-I don’t _cheat!_ I- oh my god.” Her face fell, and tears came falling. “I have to go.” She said before turning and walking towards the balcony.

Lena’s eyes widened, and she filled with panic. “Kara! Wait!” She rushed to catch Kara’s arm, but Kara pulled it away.

“I have to tell Lucy.” Kara cried.

Lena’s heart ached. “W-what about _us_?!”

“I knew I was going to do something stupid. I knew I wanted you too badly. I should have left, I should have pulled away, but I knew if I did, I could’ve _easily_ broken something on you.” Kara stated.

Lena felt incredibly guilty for holding Kara hostage. “Please, Kara… _Please_.” She begged.

Kara sighed. “I have to tell Lucy.”

 Lena’s lip trembled, and she nodded her head in resignation. “Okay.”

 

**XXX**

The morning after Lena and Kara had finally kissed, and Lena was sipping on her third glass of scotch. She was a bit tipsy, but still incredibly too far coherent for her liking. She was emotionally broken. She’d been rejected time, after time, after time by Kara, and she just couldn’t do it anymore.

She was drained, and she was infuriated that she still couldn’t find a way to get Lena 45 out of the DEO prison... It’d been almost two months since Lena 45 was imprisoned and knowing that she couldn’t save her was taking a toll on Lena as well.

She was just about to take another sip of her scotch when there was a knock on her door.

Lena corrugated her brow but stood up and walked to the door with (almost) no issue. She didn’t really care if it was a murderer at that point, so without looking through the peephole, she swung the door open, to have her breath taken away by Kara Danvers standing in front of her. “K-kara?” Lena asked, shocked to see her there after their mishap only twelve hours ago.

“I told Lucy.” Kara rushed. “And she said that she wants to work things out.”

Lena’s heart broke, but she nodded, finally resigning to the fact that she and Kara were never going to happen. “I see.” She said as she averted her eyes. “Well, I’m glad that I didn’t ruin things for you both.” She lied.

Kara shook her head. “N-no, let me finish, Lena.”

Lena frowned, but nodded, gesturing for Kara to continue.

“You see, when she said she wanted to work things out last night, I was euphoric, but the guilt hung over me like a cloud. Then this morning, I woke up next to her, and I realized… I did feel guilty for cheating on Lucy, but I also felt guilty for leaving you. I felt guilty for staying with her. So, after Lucy went to her Partnership interview, I started thinking… _Why_ … _Why_ do I feel guilty? And then I finally realized it’s because I want to be with _you_ just as much as I want to be with _her_. I want to be with you, and I want to be with her, but I don’t think I’d ever stop being tempted like I was last night if I stayed with her, but also stayed friends with you.”

Lena’s heart fell to the floor… Kara was ending their friendship.

“N-no, Kara, please. I don’t want to lose you. I’m so sorry about what happened last night. I should have let you go when you asked.”

Kara shook her head. “Lena, you’re not listening to me.”

Lena grabbed onto Kara as tightly as she could. “No! I _am_! I’m listening, and I understand what you’re saying, but I promise that if you keep me in your life, I won’t ever try to pressure you into being with me again. Okay? I promise.”

Kara pulled Lena’s hands off of her and cradled her face with both of her hands so that Lena had no choice but to meet her eyes. “I realized that as long as I’m with Lucy, I can’t be loyal to her if I stay friends with you.” She reiterated, which devastated Lena. She let out a whimpered ‘please’ as tears fell from her eyes, but then Kara continued. “So I’ve decided that I’m going to go and break-up with Lucy.”

Lena froze… Had she just heard Kara correctly? She… She’s _breaking up_ with precious, perfect, _Lucy Lane_?! “W-what?”

Kara smiled and nodded her head. “I just came by to let you know, that in a little over an hour, I’m heading over to meet with her at a restaurant for lunch, and I’m going to tell her there.”

Lena’s heart soared, her stomach alit with an entire zoo of celebrating animals. “Y-you’re breaking up with Lucy, for _me?!_ ”

Kara laughed. “I can’t stay loyal to her, and keep you in my life… So, yes.”

Lena smiled. “Is it… too early to ask for a kiss?”

“It is.” Kara nodded. “I’m still with Lucy, and I’m not going to cheat on her a s _econd_ time. So, will you wait for me?” She asked shyly.

Lena nodded with widened eyes. “I’ve waited three years, what’s another hour?” She asked.

Kara laughed and nodded. “I will see you as soon as Lucy and I talk… Because you and I have a lot to talk about as well.”

Lena nodded, a smile the size of the Grand Canyon on her face. (The first genuine smile she’d had in months) “I’ll be waiting.” She said as Kara turned to leave.

Kara looked over her shoulder and smiled. “I’m glad to hear it.”

 

**XXX**

Lena was absolutely euphoric as she frantically walked around the penthouse trying to find the perfect outfit to wear. She had already cleaned up the alcohol she’d been drinking, fixed her makeup, and picked up the empty take-out boxes from the Chinese take-out she’d drunkenly ordered before she passed out on the couch the night before. It had only been forty minutes, so Kara hadn’t even talked to Lucy yet, but she was preparing anyway.

She was just about to put on a red dress when there was a loud noise in her living room. She immediately grabbed her pepper spray and was about to open her bedroom door when it burst open, and something heavy slammed her into the wall.

As soon as she saw what (or in this instance _who_ ), it was her eyes widened. “Kara!?”

Kara looked at her with pure fury in her eyes. “WHERE IS SHE!?” She screamed, placing her forearm against Lena’s throat cutting off most of her airflow.

Lena’s heart thudded, she was terrified. “W-where’s who, Darling? I-,”

“DON’T call me that!” Kara screamed, terrifying Lena even further…. Kara had never been so hateful to her in the entirety of their friendship. “K-Kara, I-I don’t-,”

When Lena finally looked down, she saw that Kara’s Supersuit was different… It had legs, and the majority of it was red, except for her boots and cape that were both blue, and the golden crest on her chest… This wasn’t _her_ Kara… “I-I can expl-,”

Kara pushed harder on Lena’s throat, and for a moment, Lena panicked and tried fruitlessly to escape the Kryptonians clutches, before she saw the bracelet that Kara had given her.

She discreetly pushed the button, and hoped to god that Kara would come…

Thirty seconds later, Kara plowed into the other Kara, pulling her away from Lena, allowing her to finally bring air into her lungs. She then glared at the other Kara and pounded her down instantly.  After the Kryptonian stopped resisting, Kara stood up looking furiously at the other Kryptonian before rushing to Lena’s side. “Are you okay? Did she hurt you?”

Lena continued to cough for a few more seconds before shaking her head. “I-I’m okay.”

Kara nodded, still gripping tightly to Lena before she focused her attention on the battered Kara. “Who are you? And what did you want with my friend? Did Maxwell Lord send you?”

The other Kara shook her head. “My name is Kara Danvers, I come from Earth 45, and I am looking for my world’s Lena Luthor.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoopsies... Lena was a bit too late.
> 
> What do you think will happen now?


	20. Chapter 20

Kara glared at Kara 45, standing protectively in front of Lena. “I’ve traveled to other Earths as well.” She started. “But I never attacked an innocent woman, in her bedroom while searching for the woman that held her captive for three months.”

Kara 45 looked at Kara incredulously, and then burst into laughter. “Lena? _My_ Lena? Who cries at the mere thought of inconveniencing someone, who would give someone the shoes off her feet, who pays to run not one, not two, but _five_ homeless shelters in National City?” She shook her head. “No. Absolutely not. She wouldn’t hurt a fly. Now, where is she?”

Lena’s heart began beating out of her chest, and fear seeped through her every pore… This was bad. This was _very_ bad.

“Well, I’m sorry to break it to you, but your Lena did, in fact, kidnap my Lena. I caught her in a huge lie, and then found Lena gagged and handcuffed in a chair. As soon as I found my Lena, your Lena confessed to everything. She’d held her captive in the basement of L-Corp for three months.”

Kara 45 stood up and shook her head. “That’s impossible.” She said. “She’s only been missing for a month.” “I don’t know why she’d confess to that, but I swear to Rao, that Lena Luthor from my Earth is a hero. She is good, loving, and kind, and my absolute best friend. She is always there for _anyone_ that needs her, _especially_ me.”

Kara scoffed. “Yeah, well she admitted to everything. And my Lena told me everything, so… You should probably just go back to your Earth. It’d be best for us all.”

Lena knew that she should say something, _anything_ … but she couldn’t. She was too scared for what was about to happen next. Too scared that she was about to lose Kara before she even really _got_ her. She stood behind Kara, letting her shield her from the angry version of the Kryptonian, and prayed to any deity that was out there that this would all blow over smoothly somehow.

But, it didn’t work, because Kara 45 lunged at Kara, and they began pounding each other senseless; but it seemed as though Kara had the more masterful fighting tactics as she dodged bow after blow, and continued to connect her fist to Kara 45’s body… until she realized, that Kara 45 most likely wasn’t fighting to the best of her abilities due to the tears flooding her face.

Kara seemed to notice them too, and she stopped her punches and caught Kara 45’s fists. She looked at her in confusion. “A-are you… _crying_?”

Kara 45 nodded. “She wouldn’t do what you’re accusing her of. She just… _wouldn’t_. She’s my best friend, and I-I just want her back. Okay? It’s been a month. I need her back.”

Kara stood there, silently; it was obvious that she was contemplating something. “You’re sure that she’s only been gone a month?” She asked.

Kara 45 wiped at her eyes and nodded. “Yes. We were fine one day, and then *poof* she disappeared.”

Kara looked confused, but then eyed Lena. “And you are _sure_ that it was her for all of those _three_ months?”

Lena averted her eyes but nodded… She had no idea what to do.

Kara crinkled her forehead and puckered her lips, clearly trying to solve the puzzle that she was experiencing… That Lena had the answers to but was too afraid to give. Kara looked between them, still visibly befuddled.

Kara 45 gulped. “Please… Just tell me, is she alive? Is she okay?” She asked, her tone and face desperate for good news.

Kara nodded. “Of course, she’s alive! She’s healthy and getting three meals a day… But I think we’re going to have to go to her to get the answers.”

Lena’s heart dropped. “NO!” She yelled, fear and guilt swimming in her veins.

Kara narrowed her eyes. “You were just begging Alex and I to let you go see her a few days ago?”

Lena averted her eyes. “Y-yes, but I-,”

Kara 45 spoke up. “You’re _lying_.” She asserted, fisting her hands and puffing out her chest.

Lena gulped, and was just about to say something to defend herself when Kara stood in to defend her. “Hey! _My_ Lena is just as heroic and wonderful as you say yours is. So clearly something is just… messed up. Maybe our timelines were messed with, but you don’t get to stand here and accuse _my_ Lena of lying when your Lena is the one that had her handcuffed to a chair!” She glared. “I know my Lena, and she’d never lie to me. Especially not about something as substantial as this.”

Lena fought back tears. Hearing Kara stand up for her and talking so highly about her not only made her feel loved but made her feel guilty for continuing to lie.

 

**XXX**

Kara and Kara 45 had a few choice words to throw at each other before they finally agreed that they would fly to where Lena 45 was being held, but Lena had insisted that she wanted to join them (because she _needed_ to be there) so, they all three flew to the DEO.

They walked into the building, and into the main control room before they started turning heads. When Alex saw them she immediately drew out her Alien gun, pointing it at Kara 45. “Who are you, and why are you here?” She asked sternly.

“Whoa! Whoa, Alex! It’s okay, she’s here because of the Evil Lena.” Kara explained.

Kara 45 didn’t seem to like that wording. “Lena is _not_ Evil!” She growled at Kara. “This all has to be one big misunderstanding!”

 _Or lie_ Lena thought.

Kara sighed. “Right… Right. We’re here because we need to speak to the _other_ Lena.” She corrected. “We need to figure out what’s happening.”

Alex narrowed her eyes. “How do we know that we can trust these two?”

Lena watched as Alex, Kara, and Kara 45 all discussed what they were going to do about the situation, and the whole time all Lena could do was watch as her heart pounded in her ears. She was terrified… _beyond_ terrified because she had no idea what was going to happen next.

Finally, after what felt like forever, the Karas seemed to have convinced Alex to allow them to visit Lena 45.

Lena gulped, followed them silently down the hall and to the corridor where the cell rooms were.

When they finally reached 45’s cell, Alex used her handprint to unlock the room, and Kara, Lena, and Kara 45 all walked in.

As soon as Lena 45 heard the door open, she rose her head off of the cot and looked over at them from inside her clear cell. Her eyes went wide, and she jumped up from the cot, rushing to the side of the cell closest to the three intruding woman. Her face went ecstatic as she placed her palm on the glass. “KARA!” She cried out in a shaky voice. “You came for me!”

Kara 45 rushed over to her best friend’s cell, placing her hand over Lena 45’s hand through the glass. “Lena! Oh god, I was so worried about you! You just… vanished, and I thought the absolute worst!” Tears were falling from both of the women’s eyes, and Kara pulled Lena closer as they watched the 45s interact.

“Lena, they’re saying _awful_ things about you… The things they’re saying, I… you’re not capable of them. So please, Lee, tell me what’s truly going on.” Kara 45 pleaded, and Lena _knew_. As soon as she heard Kara’s tone, she _knew_ that 45 would crack and tell them everything… Because Lena couldn’t resist giving Kara anything when she used that tone… She _never_ could, if she were honest.

“Kara I know that I was a bit selfish for leaving, but I just… I couldn’t watch you with Lucy anymore. She doesn’t deserve you! The way that she treats you? The way that she ignores you and prioritizes her job over you? It’s ludicrous and wrong!” Lena 45 cried.

“Lena… Tell me what’s actually happening right now, and when we get you back home, we can talk about in private… Okay?”

Lena 45 lowered her eyes, and a tear slipped from one of them. “When I brought my friend Scarlett over to introduce her to you and Lucy, it was actually Lena 38 in an image inducer.” She informed.

Lena’s heart dropped… Her stomach lurched, and her breathing became uneven… Everything was about to unfold right before her eyes, and there wasn’t a damn thing she could do to stop it.

Both Karas looked at Lena with inquisitive expressions, but Lena diverted her eyes to the floor… She couldn’t look at them; she was too ashamed of herself.

“Why would you disguise her? Why was she there?” Kara asked confusedly.

Kara 45 nodded. “Yeah, why was she on our Earth in the first place, and what does that have to do with what they’re accusing you of?”

Kara was obviously still trying to have faith in Lena, but Kara 45 was not. She just wanted to get Lena 45 back home safely.

Lena 45 sighed. “In every universe, we (the Lenas) are you in love with you (the Karas). 52 of us, (not including Lena 38) have landed on Earth 84 , and all but one of us have ended up miserable and alone without you. So, a few of us rallied together and decided to show Lena 38 our fates, hoping to give her the push she needed to finally admit how she felt about her Kara, but she couldn’t muster up the courage to do it. I came to Earth 38 to check on her and see if she had finally done it, but when I materialized in her home, I found her a drunken mess. So, I handcuffed her to a chair, gagged her so she couldn’t scream for help and then left a tablet for her so that she could watch everything that I said to Kara 38. I told Kara everything, about how Lena 38 feels about her, but she noticed the subtle differences between myself and Kara 38, so she flew me to Lena’s penthouse, and that’s when everything happened.”

Kara looked at Lena, her face devastated. “She never kidnapped you, did she?”

Lena couldn’t fight the tears that fell from her eyes as she tried to reach out for Kara, but Kara pulled away swiftly. “Answer me!” She demanded. “She didn’t kidnap you. You _did_ exile me for three months, and you lied about it all! Right?!”

Lena sobbed out. “Kara, _please_!”

“No!” Kara shook her head rapidly. “No! You could have told me how you felt. You could have admitted that you abandoned me for three months and we could have tried to work through it… But instead, you faked being kidnapped, and let an innocent woman get imprisoned for over a month, just because you were selfish and wanted to steal me from my girlfriend!”

“I know I messed up, Kara. I know that, but I can’t be without you!” Lena cried out; her heart felt like it was being torn to shreds by vultures. She could barely breathe because of the mortified expression Kara was throwing her way. “Kara, please. You know me. You know I’d never hurt you.”

Kara scoffed. “No, you’d just lie straight to my face.”

Lena was still trying to reach out for Kara, but every time she did so, Kara dodged her hand. “B-but you lied about being Supergirl!”

That was when Kara 45 stepped in. “Whoa, whoa, _whoa_!” She said. “No. You don’t get to throw that in her face. She hid that from you because she was trying to protect you. You pretended to have been kidnapped for multiple months and let an innocent woman stay imprisoned just because you wanted to steal her from Lucy. Those are two completely different scenarios, and you, frankly, repulse me.”

Lena’s heart shattered and she began to cry even harder. “Kara.” She croaked out through a teary voice. “Please, Kara. Don’t hate me. We can work past this.”

Kara shook her head. “You let me continue to stand in front of you and defend you to Kara 45. You let me stand there, looking like a fool as I swore by your name. and defended you against both Lena 45  _and_ Kara 45. You let me feel guilty for not noticing that you were ‘gone’, and you almost broke up my relationship with Lucy. I don’t hate anyone, Lena… but I sure as hell don’t like you.”

Lena’s bottom lip tremble while tears cascaded like a waterfall down her face... Kara was no longer going to leave Luc y.

She watched Kara walk over to the control panel to the cell and unlocked the cell, reuniting Kara 45 with her beloved Lena 45. Kara smiled sadly as she watched them hug. “I can’t apologize enough for holding you for so long. If I had known, I would have instantly sent you back to your Earth.”

Kara 45 shook her head. “No… It was _their_ faults. They do stupid things when they’re in pain.”

Kara looked over to Lena with a dead expression. “Yeah… I can see that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh oh... Do you think they will ever get passed this?


	21. Chapter 21

Lena 45 walked over to Lena as the Karas conversed and gave her an apologetic smile. “I didn’t think she was going to come after me like this… She most likely found the extrapolator in my room and let it take her to the last place I traveled. I’m really sorry that she came after you the way that she did. But, don’t worry, I’m going to get my ass handed to me by her when we get home, she’s just really happy to see me right now.” She laughed.

Lena fought back tears. “Everything your Kara said to me was true, though. I had no business comparing my massive lie to Kara’s secret identity. She was trying to protect me with her secret, and I was just trying to selfishly protect myself with my lie… There’s a huge difference.”

Lena 45 nodded. “There is.” She admitted. “And I’m sorry that I got you into this mess. I really do hope that you two can somehow fix things, but I know it isn’t going to be any time soon.”

“I don’t know what I’m going to do now.” Lena cried. “She hates me.”

45 shook her head. “From what I heard she said that she doesn’t hate _anyone_.” She said with a smile.

“But if she did, right now it’d be _me_.” Lena cried, her heart was completely tattered. There was no part of it left unmarred. “Why did you do this?”

Lena 45 rose her eyebrow. “You’re the one that played along with it for a month. You said you were going to get me out.”

Lena huffed, she knew 45 was right… They both screwed up.

 

**XXX**

They had finally explained everything to Alex and Alex had finally granted Kara permission to let Kara  45and Lena 45 go back to their Earth. As they opened the portal, Lena 45 smiled kindly at Lena and eaved before stepping through. Once she did, Kara turned her head over her shoulder and glared at Lena. “If you ever come to our Earth again, I’ll lock you up the exact same way you did to my Lena.”

Lena gulped. “Sh-she offered!”

“And you let her.” Kara 45 countered. “You could have stopped it all. But you didn’t.” And with that, she stepped through the portal, disappearing into the blue abyss.

Lena felt dejected and guilty on all fronts as she turned around to face an angry Alex Danvers. Alex shook her head. “I get that people do stupid things for love… but this is…” She cut herself off and shook her head disbelievingly. “This is a whole ‘nother level of fucked up, Lena.”

Alex’s words cut through Lena like a double edged knife, and she let out a soft whimper. “Alex, please… Wouldn’t you have done the same thing for Maggie when you two were together?”

Alex raised her brow and scoffed. “Does it _look_ like it? I broke up with her when I finally realized she couldn’t give me what I wanted… I didn’t lie and con my way to stay with her. I grew, and moved on… like a mature adult would.” She then uncrossed her arms and outstretched her hands, obviously asking for something. “I’m going to need your visitor’s pass.”

Lena’s stomach churned. This couldn’t be happening. “W-what? No!”

Alex’s unimpressed expression returned. “ _No_?” She asked. “I believe you have no choice in the matter, Miss Luthor.”

Hearing Alex call her that again killed her. “Alex, please. You know that I can help you.”

Alex nodded. “You _could_ ” She admitted. “If I could actually trust you.”

Lena swallowed at the gulp in her throat. “W-what does Kara think about this? Doesn’t she want me to keep working with you?”

“Is she in the room?” Alex asked as she gestured to the empty room around them. “She doesn’t even want to see you right now, Lena. Just give me the badge and let Agent Vasquez escort you out. Don’t make this harder than it has to be.”

Lena bit her lip from quivering, and she unpinned the badge from her shirt, handing it over to Alex. “I’m still your friend, Alex.”

Alex shook her head. “No, you see… Friends don’t do to each other, what you just did to us. You had us imprison an innocent woman for a _month_ based off of a bogus kidnapping story. That’s not what friends do, that’s just outright psychotic.”

At that, Lena couldn’t fight back her tears, and she walked over to the door way where Agent Vasquez was waiting for her. The agent gestured for Lena to follow her and began to walk her out.

When they were in the main control room, she spotted Kara standing in front of a computer conversing with Brainy (who had just returned from the future three days prior). Her heart fell when she saw the tears running down the hero’s face. “Kara!” She yelled from across the room.

Kara looked up, met her eyes and then looked back down at the computer she and Brainy were conversing over… Absolutely _devastating_ Lena… She had no idea what to do, so she stood there, with Agent Vasquez trying to pull her away as gently as she could. “Kara! _Please_! I love you!”

Kara looked over to her and rose her brow. “Then why wouldn’t you just try to work through the issues that we had, rather than decieving me, and everyone I love and making us lock up a perfectly innocent woman? I get being a little upset for not being in the loop about my identity for so long, but the way you reacted was ridiculous! Then, lying to cover it all up so that I would be your friend? That’s just…” She shook her head and scoffed. “I don’t even know who you are anymore!”

At that point, Lena lost all motivation to continue, and she let Agent Vasquez pull her away and guide her to the exit.

 

**XXX**

She sat in her living room two hours later, crying her heart out. She’d fucked up… She’d fucked up spectacularly, and now everything was ruined.

Kara couldn’t stand her, Alex hated her, Kara 45 wants to imprison her, and Lena 45 still hadn’t gotten her Kara. It all killed her inside. She had no idea what to do. She had no one to turn to… Except… _maybe_ she did. She looked over to the dining room table, where the breaching device remained… She realized that she’d never given it back to Alex, but now that Brainy was back, she really didn’t need to.

She stood up and activated it, sending her to the one person that knew her pain better than any other person alive.

 

**XXX**

As soon as she made it to the other side of the portal, she began looking for her doppelganger.

Finally, she heard a groan and then a bottle drop and clank to the floor. “Ughhh.” She heard the woman grunt from the couch. “What the hell are you here for?”

Lena’s heart shattered… It killed her to see 84 like this… Maybe bringing her issues to her wasn’t such a great idea. She walked around the couch to see the disheveled woman laying on the couch. Her hair was a matted mess, she smelled like she’d just fallen into an entire _tank_ of vodka, and she looked like she hadn’t eaten in days. “84! You look horrible!”

Lena 84 laughed. “Probab-ably becaussse of th-the alcohol.” She slurred.

Lena frowned, she understood why 84 was in so much pain…. Living with knowing that Kara was dead would be absolutely devastating… but so was living with a Kara that hated her… But as she looked at 84, she realized that she was in no state to be listening to Lena vent about her poor, poor choices. “You should really stop drinking so much, 84. It’s not doing you any good.”

Lena 84 smiled drunkenly at Lena and hiccupped before she leaned in and whispered into Lena’s face, causing Lena to almost gag at the stench of vodka on her breath. “I’m almosssst done. I-I only have one more.”

Lena frowned. “One more, what?”

Lena hiccupped again and awkwardly patted Lena’s cheek. “One more asssshole to k-kill.” She informed.

“WHAT!?!” Lena asked in horror.

84 smiled as she took a sip from the opened bottle of vodka she’d had sitting on the coffee table. “W-when I sssaid I-I only live f-for K-kara's vengeance, w-what did you think I meant?”

Lena realized now, that Lena 84 was killing everyone responsible for Kara 84’s death. “Y-you’re killing them?!”

84 giggled and nodded. “Th-they don’t even know what hit’em.” She slurred. “One blow dart filled with a deadly Kry-kryptonian t-toxin, and they’re dying an agonizzzing, unstoppable, death. I-tt takesss them three weeks to die, but it’s worth it when I read their obituaries.”

Lena couldn’t believe what she was hearing, but when she thought about it… she understood. If Kara were ever to be murdered, she would go to the ends of the Earth to seek justice for her. She didn’t know what to say after that, so they sat in awkward silence as 84 drank away at her (from what Lena could tell was) third bottle of vodka.

Then, randomly, 84 shook her head and laughed. “Y-you fucked up, didn’t you?” She asked.

Lena sighed and felt guilt overcome her. She shouldn’t have come here for this. “Can I give you a sobering-solution? I’d feel more comfortable if you were sober while I talked to you about this.”

84 shrugged, and Lena sighed in relief as she pulled a syringe filled with the sobering-solution that Lena 45 had injected her with (it was quite easy to re-invent).

Thirty minutes later, a sober Lena 84 was sitting upright on her couch, glaring at Lena. “What the hell did you do?” She asked.

“I lied to her… I told a massive, selfish, and terrible lie and now she can barely even look at me, and now she’s staying with Lucy!” At that, she finally began to cry. She cried, and cried,  as she explained everything that had happened to 84. She had just finished when, without warning, Lena 84 smacked her on the shoulder. “Ow!” Lena sobbed.

Lena 84 glared at her. “Why the hell would you be so stupid?” She shook her head incredulously. “I’m here watching old videos of my Kara that I have saved to my phone, just so that I can see her smile, and hear her voice… You had the opportunity to be different than me. You had the opportunity to win back Kara’s trust, and then fight for her love, but you were a coward and took the easy way, knowing that it could backfire tremendously! Who in their right mind would want to be with, (let alone _date_ ) someone that could make up something as terrible as getting _kidnapped_!?!”

Lena swallowed back her tears. “I love her.”

84 nodded. “We _all_ do. But, lying to her? That was a terrible idea!”

Lena cried harder. “I know.” A sob cut her off for a moment. “And I have no idea what to do now.”

“I say apologize, and respect her wishes from this point on, but I’m probably not the best person to be giving you advice.” She shrugged. “I’ve murdered four men in two years, getting ready to murder a fifth before I’m finally done. So, I don’t think you should be asking me for advice… Maybe ask Lena 9,886?”

Lena bit back another sob before she nodded her head. She’d go to Earth 9,886 if she needed to, but right now, Lena 84 was right… She needed to go back home, explain everything, and beg for forgiveness.

She and Lena 84 chatted for a few more minutes before Lena 84 opened toe portal to send Lena back to Earth 38 Lena walked over to it, but then a question popped into her mind.  She turned around to see Lena 84 drinking from the vodka bottle again and frowned… She really hated seeing her doppelganger suffer so much. “What are you planning to do after you kill the fifth guy?” She asked curiously.

Lena 84 continued her drink before she looked at Lena sadly. She walked over to her, and Lena thought that she was going for a hug, but instead, 84 pushed her through the breach, and turned away.

 

**XXX**

Lena landed on her dining room floor so hard that it knocked the wind out of her momentarily. But as soon as she recovered, she stood up immediately and ran to the door. She needed to get to Kara’s house as soon as humanly possible.

She got into her Mercedes Benz and sped her way over to Kara’s loft. (She was sure she broke at _least_ a dozen traffic laws on her way there.)

She finally reached Kara’s apartment building and ran up the stairs three at a time (foregoing the elevator because it was much too slow).  She breathlessly reached Kara’s door and knocked rapidly on it, waiting anxiously for the door to be answered.

When it was finally answered, Lucy was the one to do so. She looked at Lena with a face full of hatred. “What do you want?” She growled.

Lena gulped, she knew that Lucy had every right to hate her, but she needed to speak to Kara. “Lucy, please. I know that I’m probably the last person you want to see right now, but… I need to speak to Kara.”

Lucy raised her brows. “Yeah? And I _need_ you to stop kissing my girlfriend, pretending to get kidnapped just to guilt her into being your friend again, and almost convincing her to leave me.”

Lena was frantically trying to figure out what to say, but all that came to mind was: “I’m _sorry_.” She said desperately. “I am, I really am sorry for everything that I’ve put you through, I should have respected your relationship from the get-go. I should have let her go, and let her be happy no matter how hard it kills me, but I-… She’s the love of my life, Lucy, and no matter who she’s with, or where she’s at, that’s _never_ going to change. I need her like I need air, and I really don’t care if that’s healthy or not, I just _need_ her.”

Lucy shook her head. “No matter how badly you think that you might need her, she really isn’t in the mood for talking. Especially not to you.”

“Please, Lucy…” Lena cried. “She was almost going to pick me; I think that should count for _something_!”

Lucy scoffed. “She almost picked you, yeah… But only because you’d been lying and manipulating her for _months_! I saw it all, the way she started doubting us… The way she started hurting… And I knew it was all because of you, but I had to stay silent, because if I said anything, it would have made me seem jealous or insecure. Kara is so kindhearted, so loving, so naïve that she is easily manipulated because she trusts and loves people far too much… That’s the only reason she almost left me, Lena… And I’m glad your true colors popped out before she did, because if I had lost her? I’d be just as devastated as you are right now.”

Lena’s heart ached. “What did she tell you?”

Lucy laughed humorlessly. “She told me enough. When it all started, she told me that she had been wondering if being with me was right, that she had feelings for you too, that you were amazing in one way, and I was amazing in a totally different way. Then she told me that she loved us both, and then earlier today she told me that she had almost chosen you, but then she realized that you were probably lying to her about everything. She cried in my arms, and she apologized profusely for everything she’d put me through in the last month. I forgave her, because I knew what you were doing. I knew I couldn’t trust you. I knew that Kara had planned to stay with me until you started pressuring her to choose otherwise. I may not be a genius like you, but I knew damn well what was happening. I just hadn’t realized that you would also lie about being kidnapped on top of it all.”

Lena was about to speak, when there was the sound of boots landing on the balcony. Lena’s heart rate sped up. “Kara!” She yelled as she tried to push past Lucy, but Lucy was sturdy, practically a boulder… Years of military training had definitely paid off.

Kara came into view a few moments later; her eyes were red and puffy as she stood in her Supergirl suit with two takeout bags in her hand. “You need to leave, Lena.” She said sternly.

Lena shook her head. “No! Kara, please! Just listen to me… I-if you don’t change your mind and still need some time, I’ll give it to you, okay? Just… _please_ , Kara.”

Lucy stood between them, as if to protect Kara from Lena’s words, but when Kara placed her hand on Lucy’s shoulder, she stood down and moved away to allow Kara to speak to her. “Fine, go. But I can promise you that I’m not changing my mind.  I don’t think I could ever trust you again after what you did.”

Lena nodded. “Th-that’s fair.” She croaked out before speaking. “First off, I’d like to say that I’m sorry. I should have never played into the lie, I should have never deceived you, and I should have never let you imprison Lena 45.  Secondly, I’d like to say that even though I lied to you about being kidnapped, everything else I told you was true. I do love you, more than anything else in the world. I’d do anything for you. I love you, it hurts more than anything ever has, but I do. So please, no matter what you decide, please don’t think that my love for you is a lie. Lastly, I wanted to tell you… _why_ I lied… I lied, because as soon as you saw me tied up, I saw care for me in your eyes for the first time since everything happened, and I didn’t want to lose that, so I let my fear of losing you guide me and I made the terrible decision to lie to you and pretend that I have been kidnapped. I just wanted a chance to love you, and be loved by you, so I did the most disgusting thing I could have done, and pretended to have suffered something traumatic just to stop you from leaving me… But I didn’t do it to hurt you, I didn’t do it to manipulate you.”

Kara scoffed. “You _did_ manipulate me, Lena! You lied about being _KIDNAPPED_ and let an innocent woman sit in a DEO cell just because you didn’t want me to be angry at you. You didn’t think we could have overcome the three month exile? We _could_ have, and we _would_ have. But you know what we _can’t_ and _won’t_ overcome? You pretending to be kidnapped and letting me incarcerate an innocent woman.”

Lena’s heart broke, but she should have known that a simple apology wouldn’t fix the mess she’d made. “Kara, please… I can’t live without you.”

“Well, Lena… Maybe if I could trust you, I’d believe that.” Kara countered before shutting the door.

Lena’s heart shattered into a million microscopic pieces, and she leaned against the door as she cried tears of utter devastation… This was so, _so_ much worse than when Kara had been mad at her for abandoning her for three months.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will Lena ever be able to earn Kara's forgiveness, or will she end up like the 51 miserable ones??


	22. Chapter 22

The following month was agonizing for Lena… Kara wanted nothing to do with her, and all she wanted to do was drown herself in booze like the rest of the Lenas, but she knew that would only ruin things further… Alcohol was the root of all evil for the Lena Luthors of the multiverse. So, instead of drinking herself into unconsciousness, she decided to bury herself with work.

She always checked her phone whenever it went off, just in case it was Kara… but unfortunately, it was always investors. She ate three times a day to make sure that she stayed in tip-top shape because she couldn’t afford to let herself go like the other Lenas had… She wanted to be ready if/when Kara ever came for her.

She worked, invented, studied, and did everything she could to distract herself from the pure and utter anguish that she felt in her soul. But every time she stepped into her empty penthouse, where she sat all alone, it all came rushing back like a tsunami made of pure misery. Which was why, although she tried not to, she cried herself to sleep every night.

Unfortunately, however, she was at her breaking point. She knew that she had no right to insert herself back into Kara’s life, but it’d been over a month of radio silence, and Lena couldn’t take it anymore. She tried, she really did, but she couldn’t go on without seeing Kara.

However, she knew that she needed a plan, and she couldn’t trust herself make one up on her own. She realized now, that even though she _was_ desperate for Kara’s love, showing that was most likely highly unattractive, and possibly did guilt Kara into choosing her. She didn’t want that. She also didn’t want Kara to hate her anymore, so… once again, she activated the breaching device, and breached herself to another world… a _happier_ one.

 

**XXX**

She landed right in front of the loft door and knocked. This time, when Kara 9,886 opened it, she laughed. “I can tell you apart, now… You’ve got longer hair than my Lena does.”

Lena laughed lightly before walking into the loft nervously. “I-is your Lena here?”

Kara 9,886 nodded. “Yes, she’ll be out any second.”

Lena nodded and wrung her hands together.

“What brings you here, 38? You seem… tense.” Kara asked.

Lena bit her lip. “I fucked up… _majorly_ , and now my Kara hates me.”

Kara pursed her lips. “I doubt that she hates you, 38.”

Lena 9,886 finally exited the bathroom, her hair up in a towel, and she paused once she saw her doppelganger. “Well, at least you aren’t trying to kiss my wife this time.” She joked.

Lena smiled tightly. “I really a _m_ sorry about that.” She apologized.

9,886 nodded with a smile. “I know you are. But my question is; what brings you back here?” She asked curiously.

Lena bit her lip and averted her eyes to the floor. “I messed up… terribly. I just… I need guidance.”

Lena 9,886 looked at her wife, and they both nodded to each other before they led Lena over to their couch and sat on either side of her. Each one of them looked at her earnestly, and Lena broke… She broke, and she cried, and she told them everything. Every single detail. From the moment she started trying to win Kara over, to when Lena 45 showed up, to when Kara 45 showed up and forced the truth out. She told them how Kara almost chose her, but now wouldn’t even speak to her. Told them about Kara choosing to stay with Lucy… Told them about how Alex hated her too… How everyone did.

They held her and listened and shushed her… and when Lena was finally done sobbing, Kara 9,886 spoke. “You made a conscious decision to pretend to be kidnapped, Lena. I don’t know how similar your Kara is to me, but seeing as though we both landed on Earth and lived with the Danvers? I’m pretty sure we’re a lot alike. We take things like this to heart, we don’t like being lied to, so she’s extremely hurt, she feels absolutely betrayed and is very, _very_ angry right now that is the bottom line and what you’re going to have to work with if you want to win her trust back. Don’t expect her to even listen to what you have to say right now, she’s too hurt to really understand, or even care. Leave her alone for a while longer and give her a chance to work through all the pain and anger she’s feeling.”

Lena nodded her head. “It hurts so much to be away from her.”

Lena 9,886 nodded. “I can only imagine, but you have to be strong. I don’t know whether or not you can win back her trust, but I do know that if you don’t _try_ at some point, you never will. I say give her another few weeks, and then try a grand gesture. Something huge. Something that she wouldn’t expect.”

Lena gulped. “And if _that_ doesn’t work?”

Kara 9,886 smiled sadly. “Then, I think you have to let her go.”

Lean’s bottom lip trembled, and tears started falling all over again as she realized just how badly she messed things up… there was no turning back time, there was no re-dos, there was no nothing… This was it, the final straw. The most pivotal moment in her life… If she made one more mistake, it was all over for her and Kara’s future… Whether it be as friends, or as lovers.

“What if I’m not able to do that?” She asked tearfully.

Lena 9,886 looked at her wife and then back to her doppelganger melancholily. “I really, and truly don’t know, 38. I really don’t.”

 

**XXX**

 

Two weeks later, Lena was at CatCo to inform James that she was planning to replace him as CEO, but when she entered the bullpen, she noticed that Kara’s desk was empty. Her heart dropped and she rushed into the fishbowl office. “W-where is Kara? Did you promote her?” She asked.

James face fell, and he shook his head. “No, I tried to convince her to stay, but she said that things between you two were too toxic for her to stay working in a place that you controlled. So she took a job KPJT News. “

Lena’s heart plummeted. “But… what on Earth could she do there? That’s a _television_ news station.”

James shrugged his shoulders. “She’s got a job researching things for the broadcasts. That’s all I know… She barely talks to me.”

Lena internally laughed at that… None of Kara’s friends spoke to James after he pledged allegiance to an alt-right anti-alien group… Lena tried to justify his actions to herself, but now? She just wanted him gone. She was about to fire James, when Lena 9,886’s voice rang throughout her mind: _Make a grand gesture. Something huge. Something that she wouldn’t expect._ She smiled widely as she realized this was the _perfect_ opportunity to do just that.

“I will be back later.” She informed James before rushing out of the office and to the elevator.

 

**XXX**

She knocked on Kara’s door frantically. The door opened, and Kara looked at her blankly. Regardless of the emotionless expression on Kara’s face, Lena’s heart skipped at the sight of the beautiful Kryptonian before her.

“Lena, what are you doing here?” Kara asked.

Lena gulped. “You can’t quit CatCo, Kara. You love that place more than you love the DEO. It has been your dream job your entire life.”

Kara averted her eyes. “I don’t want to work somewhere where you have power over me, plus I’m just sick of James’ ego.”

Lena tried her best to hold in her laugh at Kara’s last remark and nodded. “I know, Kara and I completely understand why you wouldn’t want to work for either of us… But I’ve seen what you do with CatCo on another Earth… Cat Grant left CatCo to you in her will on Earth 45, and the Earth 45 version of yourself runs it almost better than Cat Grant herself did. Cat wanted _you_ to have CatCo, and I have no doubt that she wanted you to have it on this Earth too, but with all the legal government red tape, she couldn’t just hand it over to you, so… she gave it up for auction.”

Kara looked at her with confusion. “I’m not going to replace James as CEO, Lena… that’d just make us have to work together more.”

Lena sighed. “For Christ’s sake, Kara…. I don’t _WANT_ CatCo! I only bought the damn company because you were scared you were going to lose your job. I didn’t make you CEO because I was afraid that you’d catch on.” Kara still looked confused so, she continued. “I don’t want CatCo, Kara. I know nothing about running a media empire, and quite frankly I don’t _want_ to. You worked under Cat Grant for over three years. You know the ins and outs of the company, and you’ll do amazing as Owner and CEO of CatCo Worldwide Media.”

Kara looked at her dubiously. “That’s… interesting.” She said confusedly. “What are you saying?”

Lena sighed. “I’m not giving you the company to guilt you into being my friend again. I’m not even expecting you to talk to me if you don’t want to, but I don’t want you to lose the one place that you’ve been dreaming of being employed at your entire life just because I hurt you. So, Kara… Would you like to be the new owner of CatCo?”

Kara furrowed her brows. “Lena, I don’t have the money to pay for CatCo… That’s why I didn’t buy it myself. I’m not a millionaire.”

Lena chuckled nervously at Kara’s obliviousness. “Kara, I’m not asking you to _buy_ CatCo. I’m offering to _give_ it to you… For free.”

Kara’s eyes went wide. “Y-you’re wanting to _give_ me CatCo?! I’d run it to the ground!”

Lena shook her head. “No you wouldn’t, and no you won’t.”

“W-why are you doing this Lena?” Kara asked, her body tense… she still didn’t trust her. “Why should I believe that this isn’t some kind of… I don’t know… ruse, or something?”

Lena sighed. “Lucy is a Lawyer, right?”

Kara nodded. “The best there is.”

Lena smiled. “She can look over every scrap of paperwork before you sign them.”

“You’re really just going to _give_ me a company?” Kara asked incredulously. “Why?”

Lena frowned. “Because, Kara… I’ve already hurt you enough. I don’t want to hurt you more by making you feel like you can’t work at your dream job.”

“But… that was my choice?” Kara said.

“I know, believe me I do, but this is my way of showing you that I don’t want to hold any power over you. I don’t want to force you to do anything you don’t want to. I want to let you go so that you can be happy. I bought CatCo _for_ you, it’s only right that I let go of it along with you.” Lena informed. “If someday, you feel like I may be worthy of your friendship again, or worthy of a _chance_ to earn your friendship again, I’ll be ready… but until then? I want you to be happy. I know that you will be an honest and free press. You won’t be biased, and you will keep the books straight, and it’d be a burden lifted off my shoulders because I would only have to worry about focusing on L-Corp again. So please, Kara… Take CatCo, don’t let me take that from you too.”

Lena nervously outstretched her hand, hoping that Kara would shake it. Kara studied it for a moment before speaking again. “This… is a lot to process. You’d be losing almost a billion dollars by just handing it over to me. That doesn’t make sense.”

Lena smiled. “If it’s any consolation, I wanted to give you the company the moment I bought it… And it always crossed my mind. I always knew you’d do a better job at it than James or I. He’s a jock with photography skills… not CEO material. I don’t know what Cat was thinking when she made him CEO.”

Kara shrugged. “She was just wanting to get out of National City, and she thought he’d do a mediocre job at best.”

Lena scoffed. “She should have just handed it down to you.”

Kara shrugged. “I wasn’t even a reporter for a month before she left the first time. I was n where near ready.”

Lena hummed. “So, what do you think? Would you like to become the world’s next Media Mogul?”

Kara bit her lip and looked to the floor. “I _would_ , but I can’t. I’ve always dreamed about running CatCo… or at least the Daily Planet, but I wanted to _earn_ my place. I don’t want to have it just fall into my lap. I want to work for it and earn it myself.”

Lena shook her head. “You did earn it, Kara! You’re the most famous reporter in National City! You’re the best reporter at CatCo, and you’ve learned every trick of the trade by Cat Grant herself! No one is more qualified, or more deserving than, _you_!”

“Not even Lois Lane and Clark Kent?” Kara asked with a raised eyebrow.

Lena shook her head. “No. Because they didn’t study right below Cat Grant herself.”

 “If I do accept, it doesn’t mean that we’re automatically okay, Lena… I still can’t trust you.” Kara stated

“I know.” Lena nodded, her heart yearning to hug Kara… To be forgiven by Kara. “I just hope that someday, you can.” She outstretched her hand once more. “So, will you accept ownership of CatCo?”

Kara eyed the hand dubiously for a few moments before nodding and shaking Lena’s hand. “I’ll accept.” She said, causing Lena’s heart to jump with joy.

Lena knew that she shouldn’t expect anything to come from this, but she certainly hoped that this was a step in the right direction for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will most likely be my last update until after Christmas. I _may_ update in between, but it will not be frequent.
> 
>  
> 
> Also, do you think that this may be a bridge to a future reconciliation?


	23. Chapter 23

Three weeks later, Lena sat nervously at the round table. Kara was sitting next to Lucy, who was going over the paperwork for the transfer of CatCo.

They’d been sitting in an awkward silence for almost two hours as Lucy only spoke up when she saw things in the contract that she didn’t like, but even then… Lucy was only talking to Lena’s lawyer. Kara mostly focused her eyes on her hands, and occasionally on the paperwork that Lucy was going over.

After another twenty minutes, Lena couldn’t take it any longer, and she was ready to break the silence, but before she could, Lucy spoke. “It says here that there will be a three thousand dollar closing fee?”

Lena bit her lip and nodded. “Yes, that’s correct.”

Kara’s eyebrow rose. “Well, that’s a bit more than I expected, but if I move some things around, and push back my bills for a month, I think I can squeeze that in.”

Lena frowned. She didn’t like the idea of Kara struggling financially for even a day, let alone for a month. She knew that soon, Kara was going to be a millionaire just like her, but the idea of Kara struggling at all unsettled her. “N-no, I can cover it. That’s not an issue.”

Kara frowned. “I’m not just going to accept the company from you without putting at least a _little_ bit of my money towards it. I want to feel like I at least paid _something_ , Lena.”

Lena admired how strongly Kara wanted to feel independent, but she just couldn’t get over the fact that this would make things tough on Kara for a while. “Kara, please. I don’t want you to struggle.”

Lucy cut in at that point. “If she needs anything, she can always ask me.” She snarked, immediately ending the discussion.

Lena’s heart fell, but she nodded and kept her mouth shut. She knew this wasn’t her place to interfere. If Kara wanted to pay three thousand dollars, who was she to stop her? She’d lost her privilege to put in her opinion the moment she lied to Kara about being kidnapped.

 

**XXX**

Thirty minutes later, Lucy and Lena’s lawyer exited the room to go over a few minute details in private before the final signing, which left Kara and Lena alone together.

The silence between them was deafening, and it cut at Lena’s soul. “I miss you.” Lena finally said.

Kara rose a brow. “I thought you said you were letting go of me.”

Lena bit her inner cheek and nodded. “That’s true, I am. But that doesn’t mean I stopped wanting you, Kara.”

Kara still hadn’t made eye contact with her, which wasn’t a good sign. “I just can’t comprehend what would posses _anyone_ to fake being kidnapped.” She shook her head. “Even if the other Lena started it, why did _you_ continue it? You didn’t have to play along; you didn’t have to lie to me and all my friends and family… but you did.”

Lena clenched her jaw to stop her tears. “I know I was wrong, Kara. But… I was desperate. I saw how angry you were with me for exiling you for three months, and I just wanted everything to be good between us again, plus I wanted the chance for there to be something _more_.”

Kara shook her head. “We could have gotten through the whole exiling thing, Lena. I was more hurt than angry in the first place.”

Lena looked down at the table. “I’m sorry.”

Kara huffed out a sad laugh. “I can’t tell if you’re sorry for lying, sorry for getting caught, or just lying to me.” She shook her head. “I’m sorry, Lena… but I just can’t trust you anymore.”

Lena’s heart broke, but she nodded. She understood, she really did… but it still was the most excruciating loss she ever endured.

 

**XXX**

Six miserable months later, Lena watched the tv as the love of her life spoke out against the bigotry that was currently going on in the White House.

She smiled melancholily. Power had always looked good on Supergirl, but on Kara Danvers? It looked _radiant_.

 “ _And that, my fellow Americans, is why we must unite as one, instead of segregating the way this administration has been trying to get us to do. We are better, stronger, and happier when we are amalgamated than we are when we are segregated. We all are inhabitants of this world, and we are all brothers and sisters. Together, we can fight anything.”_

Lena’s heart melted at Kara’s speech, and she watched as the audience all applauded their newest Queen of All Media.

Over the past six months, Lena had tried and failed on two occasions to seep back into Kara’s life, and both times that she failed, it killed her a little bit more.  After the second attempt (almost four months ago) she had given up all hope of winning back Kara’s friendship. It seemed as though she’d failed and  managed to end up like all the other miserable Lenas out there. From that moment forward, she had tried her best to live her life as if she wasn’t utterly heartbroken, but it was entirely impossible to pretend to be fine. So, once she decided pretending not to be miserable was impossible, she had tried to continue with life while drinking as little alcohol as possible so that she didn’t turn out as badly as all the other Lenas. She knew that she brought this misery upon herself, but she had no idea that it’d hurt this badly.

Luckily, however, all the heartbreak had led her to bury herself in work. She’d worked endlessly, sometimes going three to four days without sleep, and because of that, she’d been able to find a cure for cancer, which would not only further establish L-Corp as its on entity separate from LuthorCorp, but would also distance Lena from the rest of the Luthors.

She smiled as she looked at the paperwork that she had just received from the FDA that approved her cure and dialed an all too familiar number.

“Hello, thank you for calling CatCo Worldwide Media. This is Eve, assistant to CEO Kara Danvers speaking. How may I direct your call?”

Lena smiled wide. “Hello, Miss Tessmacher, this is Lena Luthor, I’m calling because I have just figured out a groundbreaking medical treatment, and I was wondering if CatCo would like the exclusive interview?”

There was a moment of silence before the line clicked and a voice spoke that still managed to flip her heart. “Hello, CatCo Worldwide media. This is Kara Danvers speaking. How may I help you?”

Lena almost swallowed her tongue, and her heart completely stopped. “K-Kara?” Was all that she’d been able to spit out, and she mentally slapped herself at her inability to form a coherent sentence.

“Lena?” An almost-annoyed voice asked.

Lena bit her lip and nodded, before she realized that Kara couldn’t see her. “Y-yes, it’s me.”

“Why are you calling CatCo?” Kara asked.

“B-because I just found the cure for cancer, and I just got federally approved to start selling the cure to hospitals, and I thought that maybe being interviewed would be beneficial not only to me, but to others as well. The word needs to be spread.” Lena held her breath, hoping that Kara wouldn’t hang up on her.

“You cured _cancer_!?” Kara asked excitedly, completely throwing Lena off.

Lena smiled, hope and disbelief rising in her chest. “Yes, I did indeed.”

“All cancers or just a specific type?” Kara asked, immediately going into reporter mode, which made Lena laugh adoringly… She really did love this woman more than anything else in the entire multiverse.

“Isn’t that something an interviewer is supposed to ask?” Lena chuckled.

“Oh, sorry. I’m just… incredibly intrigued. When are you free for an interview?” Kara asked.

Lena’s heart started beating out of her chest as her hope rose to an entirely new level. “Wait... Y-you’re going to interview me?” She asked in a high-pitched voice.

“Well, this is one of the biggest stories in history. You don’t think I’m going to pass up this opportunity, do you?” Kara asked with a laugh.

Lena shook her head, before she realized once more that Kara couldn’t see her. “N-no, I just didn’t think that you’d want to see me.”

“I’d like to interview you myself if you wouldn’t mind,” Kara said. “This is your moment though, and I don’t want to step on toes, so I can send another reporter if you’d feel more comfortable with someone else.”

Lena shook her head relentlessly. There was absolutely no chance that she was going to pass up an opportunity to see Kara in person. “No! No, absolutely not. I’m free anytime. Just come right on up to my office and I will let you interview me. Your all-access pass hasn’t been revoked, Kara. You’re always welcome.”

There was a pregnant pause between them, almost as if Kara hadn’t expected to hear Lena still wanting her in her life. “That’s… That’s great, Lena. I will see you soon.”

Lena smiled, her heart dancing in her chest at the promise of _finally_ seeing Kara again. She hadn’t expected to be interviewed by Kara, on the contrary, she hadn’t even thought Eve would send her directly to Kara’s line. She had planned to speak to Snapper Carr, or even one of his ‘lowly’ junior reporters, but to have her call forwarded to the one person she had been dying to talk to for the pas six had never even crossed her mind. She hadn’t even dared to hope for it. “Yeah… see you soon, Kara.” She said before the line went dead.

She sat frozen, unable to believe what had just happened. Kara hadn’t hung up immediately after realizing Lena was the person on the other end of the line. She hadn’t been hateful; she hadn’t dismissed her claims about curing cancer. She hadn’t even sent another reporter in her place… She’d been cordial, and courteous, and got straight to the point. Lena knew she shouldn’t hope, but she did.

 

**XXX**

Five hours later, Lena was researching treatment techniques for Parkinson’s Disease in hopes to find a sturdy ground to start working for a cure on, when her office door opened and startled her.  She jumped in her seat and looked up with frightened eyes before her heart started thudding and her stomach butterflies returned after a six month absence. “Kara!”

Kara smiled tightly and fiddled with her glasses. “It’s been a while.” She said, distinctly uncomfortable.

Lena chuckled sadly. “Yeah, yeah it has… I suppose that’s my fault, though.”

Kara thumbed at her notebook that she had tightly pressed against her chest. “Um… where would you like to do the interview?” She asked.

Lena’s heart ached at the sight of how stiff and uncomfortable Kara truly was… It was in complete contrast to how it had been when they had been best friends. She wanted to ease the tension that Kara had been feeling, but it seemed as though it was impossible for her to do that, and that realization made her hope deplete once more.

“We can do it here if you’d like… Or, perhaps the balcony?” She offered nervously.

Kara eyed the balcony and nodded. “Yeah, the balcony would be nice.”

Lena nodded and offered her a tentative smile before walking towards the balcony.

Once they were seated across from each other, Kara opened her notebook, but before she could start the interview, Lena spoke first. “H-how are you?” Lena asked nervously.

Kara eyed her for a moment, before offering her a half smile. “I’ve been good. The extra money has been amazing. I’ve been able to start constructing three new homeless shelters throughout National City, and a free clinic as well.”

Lena’s heart melted at the knowledge that Kara was using the money she’d found herself in, to do good for the community. “That’s amazing, Kara! I knew you’d do incredible things. CatCo has never been more popular.”

Kara smiled. “Thank you! I just hope I can help as many people as possible.”

Although she thought it impossible, Lena fell a little more in love with Kara in that moment. She smiled, her heart yearning for Kara’s love. “I miss you, Kara.”

Kara eyed the ground, sadness on her face. “I still don’t know how to trust you. I mean… I still can’t understand what would posses _anyone_ to lie about being kidnapped… especially to someone they claim to love.”

Lena swallowed. “May I tell you?”

Kara frowned, and after a moment’s hesitation, nodded.

Lena swallowed, her breathing became labored and she nodded her head. “I was trying to fix the extrapolator for Alex, and it malfunctioned and sucked me through a portal to Earth 84, where Lena and Kara went through the same thing you and I did, but instead of making up, Lena completely exiled Kara for longer than I did you, and when Kara needed help against a group of Kryptonite toting thugs, Lena hadn’t answered because she had been angry, and it led to Kara 84’s demise. Lena 84 is a homicidal, heartbroken, drunkard and she only lives to avenge Kara 84’s death. Then I went to Earth 26, where you barely spoke to me, ran a restaurant with Brainy and were carrying his child.”

Kara furrowed her brow, but continued listening.

“Kara 26 was also a drunken, heartbroken mess. Then I went to earth 109, where it was quite possible the worst of the worst. You _loathed_ me. When you looked at Lena 109, there was nothing but pure unadulterated hatred for her, because she had given Alex a defective jetpack of sorts, and it caused Alex to lose the ability to walk.” Lena stopped, she was fighting back tears, but she knew that she had to make Kara understand that she hadn’t lied out of malicious intent, whether it was right or wrong, she still hadn’t done it to hurt Kara. “Lena 109 was the second most miserable. She was not only hated by you, but by Alex as well. She lost the love of her life, and her best friend, and had the guilt of the world on her shoulders.” She wiped her eyes. “I then went to Earth 9,886 to see the only thing I’ve ever wanted had come true there…  You and I were happily married, and everything I’d dreamt of had happened. I had taken your last name, you were in love with me, and you weren’t afraid to show it… It was paradise, and I realized I had to do whatever it took to get that to come true, so as soon as I came back to our Earth, I grabbed flowers and chocolates and ran straight to your loft… But that’s where I found Lucy, who had clearly stayed over and had clearly slept naked in your bed… with you. I was devastated and you were still angry so I went to get some advice from someone who had been through the same thing, which is when Lena 84 sent me to one of the Earths where you and Lucy had gotten married… Earth 45. Lena 45 was miserable, and so was Kara 45… Lucy 45 wasn’t a present wife, she was neglectful, and short and never really paid much attention to her Kara; but Kara 45 doesn’t believe in divorce, so she’s stuck in a marriage that is unfulfilling and hurtful. It was painful to watch, so when I got back I tried even harder to work on earning your forgiveness, and to tell you how I felt, but I never was able to. Earth 45 came and tied me up so that she could tell you how I felt for me, but you caught on to her and traced me back to my penthouse… That’s when 45 chose to lie for me, because she was miserable on her Earth and didn’t want to be there any longer. I panicked and realized that the only fool-proof way to get back into your good graces was to lie. I was desperate, and terrified and I didn’t know what else to do. I wasn’t thinking straight, and I just wanted you back… so I lied. Because in anytime, and on any Earth, you are the only one that I love. You are the _only_ one for me, Kara… and I would do anything to keep you in my life.”

Kara stayed silent, as if she were processing everything that Lena was saying, but it unnerved Lena, so she continued. “I know that it was wrong to do, and I understand why you are so hesitant to trust me, Kara… but I swear to god, or Rao, or whoever you want me to swear to, that if you give me a chance, just _one_ chance to prove to you that I am trustworthy again, you will never regret it.”

Kara finally looked at her. “I'm sorry that you had to go through all of that, Lena. No one deserves to see or experience that type of pain, but I don’t understand why I have so much power over you. Truthfully, it makes me feel terrible. I don’t want to be the only source of your happiness. I want you to be able to be happy regardless of if we’re close or not.”

Lena gulped in disbelief as her heart soared. “You… want me to be happy? Even after everything I’ve done?”

Kara huffed out a low laugh. “ _Of course_ , I do. I still care about you despite everything that happened between us in the past. Sure, it took me a while to get over the anger, and I’m obviously still hurt by what you did, but I never stopped caring about you, Lena.”

Lena’s heart rejoiced… Kara no longer hated her. “So… do you think, that… maybe in time, we could, perhaps… try to mend the gap between us? I-I know what I did was unthinkable, I know that I was wrong, but Kara I promise on my life that I will never lie to you again. You mean so much to me, and I hate that I hurt you, and I will never do anything to hurt you again. I know that I’ve lost the chance to be with you romantically, and although that kills me, I still need you in my life, Kara. All I’m asking for is a chance to earn your forgiveness.”

Kara bit her lip and looked at the floor for a while, visibly pondering on Lena’s request.

Lena’s heart thudded rapidly in her chest, she needed Kara to agree to this. She needed her best friend back, but from the looks of it, there probably wasn’t going to be an opportunity.

Kara looked up at her and said the one thing Lena hadn’t expected, but desperately hoped to hear. “Okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! :) 
> 
> I hope you all had happy holidays!
> 
> Do you think Lena can earn Kara's trust again? Let me know what you think! :)


	24. Chapter 24

Lena was sitting on her couch four nights later while enjoying a meal with a smile on her face. She and Kara were on the road to mending things, and she couldn’t deny the smile that notion brought to her face. She was watching a mindless show, something that was ridiculous and corny, but it still made her laugh, and she realized… Kara wasn’t the only thing that could make her smile… Little things could (momentarily )make her happy.

She smiled wider, maybe that’d be enough to make Kara feel a little better about being such a momentous part of her life. She was just about to take another bite of her spaghetti, when she heard a thump at her balcony. Her heart skipped a bit, and she paused the show before turning around and laying eyes on the most beautiful woman in the world. “Supergirl! What brings you to this neck of the woods?”

Kara smiled at Lena, but it didn’t meet her eyes, there was a pain in them that was so palpable Lena could almost touch it, and it broke Lena’s heart to see that in Kara. “What’s wrong, Kara?”

Kara bit her lip and gestured to the couch. “Could we sit? I’d like to talk to you.”

Lena’s heart started thudding with anxiety; she had no idea what this conversation could be about, but it sounded serious, and that scared her. She nodded anyway, and sat down as she gulped down her fear. “What’s wrong?” She asked before Kara had even managed to sit all the way down.

Kara let out a shaky breath. “I was thinking things over, and I realized something.”

Lena’s heart thudded even harder, and she knew that if it sped up much more, it was going to genuinely cause damage. “W-what’s that?” She asked in fear.

Kara closed her eyes, and a tear slipped from one of them. Lena’s heart lurched, and every fiber of her being yearned to wipe away that stray tear and protect Kara from whatever it was that was causing them.

Kara looked up at her, the pain even more tangible in her eyes. “When I told you that I am Supergirl, I expected you to be shocked, maybe even surprised, but I _never_ expected you to be angry enough to cut me out of your life for three months.”

Lena’s eyes began to leak all over again… Kara was already ending their friendship once more. “I-I know, I was selfish.”

Kara sighed and shook her head no before she took Lena’s hand in her own. “No, Lena… You _weren’t_ selfish. I wasn’t innocent there. I lied to protect you, true… but still, finding out your best friend had kept such a massive secret from you, had to have hurt, and you had every right to feel that way. I just didn’t see it then because I didn’t understand.” She paused and smiled sadly. “But now I do.”

Lena began to fill with confusion. “So, what are you saying?”

Kara sighed and gently squeezed Lena’s hand. “I’m saying that I hurt you, and I’m sorry.”

Lena furrowed her brow, and she shook her head. “B-but you only lied to protect me? It’s not like what I did.”

Kara nodded. “I know, and I’m not sorry that I protected you, I’d do anything to protect you, but it still hurt you, and I didn’t understand that then, but I do now. I understand that you were hurt, because _I’m_ hurt, and I just need you to know that I’m sorry. I never wanted to hurt you, and I’m sorry that I did.”

Lena smiled, tears brimming her eyes. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Kara.”

Kara sighed. “I did the wrong thing for the right reasons, Lena. I’m not perfect, I’m flawed, and I make mistakes, and I did. I kept my secret from you for too long. I should have told you, and given you the bracelet long ago, but I didn’t see that. You are my best friend, and I should have been honest with you.”

Lena bit her cheek; her mind was swirling. She didn’t understand what was happening. Kara was just protecting her; she was lying out of selflessness… Why did she feel the need to apologize? None of the other Karas did. “Kara…”

Kara shook her head. “Lena, I’m apologizing, because I see that I messed up now. Your lie was on another level, I’ll agree with you there, but my lie wasn’t harmless like I used to think it was. All lies hurt, and I see that now. I don’t regret protecting you, but I do regret the way in which I did it.”

Lena furrowed her brow. “S-so when you were mad at me?”

Kara sighed and shook her head. “I wasn’t really mad… I was hurt, because I had to live in a world without you, and that was painful, but I didn’t even think about what you were feeling. I should have understood, but I was blinded by my own pain and I couldn’t see yours. I’m not innocent, Lena… and it took _this_ huge lie to realize that _my_ huge lie probably hurt you more than I realized.”

Lena bit her lip. “D-does this mean that you forgive me?”

Kara smiled. “I’m trying, Lee… I’m trying.”

 

**XXX**

They sat and talked for a while longer, before Kara’s cell phone began to ring. She looked apologetically at Lena before Lena waved a dismissive hand and Kara answered it.

“Hello?” Kara answered. After a short pause, Kara spoke again. “No, I’m with Lena.” Kara shook her head. “No, we’re jus-… Lucy, no I’m no-.” She huffed out dejectedly. “I know. You’re right. I’m sorry, Luce. I should have paid attention to the clock. Can I make it up to you?” There was a long pause, and Kara frowned. “O-okay. I’m sorry, I really am.” Kara lowered her eyes as she hung up the phone. “I should get going.” She said as she stood up.

Lena frowned, she hated seeing the hurt on Kara’s face. “Is everything okay?”

Kara bit her lip and looked down to the ground. “I’ve been pretty busy with Supergirl lately, and I’ve had to cancel a lot of dates with Lucy… Tonight I promised her I’d put aside the cape for the night and make her my priority, but… I’m an hour late.”

Lena frowned. “She can’t blame you for that! You’re Supergirl, you’re busy saving the world!”

Kara smiled sadly. “But tonight, I wasn’t… Tonight I was spending time with you instead of keeping my promise to her.”

Lena shook her head. “But you were jus-,”

Kara shook her head, a sad but disbelieving look on her face. “Lena, I know that you think I’m some type of perfect princess, but… I make mistakes too, Lena… This is just one of the many I’ve made.”

Lena hated seeing the guilt on Kara’s face. “I’m sure she isn’t that mad. After all, it’s only been an hour.”

Kara shook her head. “They gave our reservation to someone else because I kept them waiting for so long. She’d texted me about a dozen times, and I ignored them all because I totally forgot about it… It’s my fault, Lena.”

Lena frowned, it killed her that Lucy was angry with Kara and causing her pain. “Buy her flowers and show her that you’re sorry.” She suggested, although it killed her to push her back into another woman’s arms.

Kara gave her a sad smile and nodded. “Thanks, Lee. Have a good night.” She said before walking to the balcony and lifting off into the night.

Lena smiled, a lone tear falling from her eye. “You too, Kara.”

 

**XXX**

She laid in bed that night, tossing and turning. Here mind was overwhelmed with the changes that had happened over the past five days… Kara was no longer shunning her, Kara apologized for keeping her identity a secret, and she was trying to forgive Lena for her lie as well… It was everything she could have possibly asked for… except for the fact that Kara was still Lucy’s girlfriend.

She sighed, she had to accept the fact that Kara was never going to be hers… It would be excruciating to live with, but she still had to give up hope that she wasn’t going to win Kara’s heart. She’d had a chance, but she blew it.

It would be hard, agonizing if she were to be honest, but she had to give up her pursuit… There was just no way around it.

 

**XXX**

It had been a month, and things had slowly but surely begun to improve between Kara and Lena. Lena had been integrated back into game nights, and although Lucy still glared at her viciously every chance she got, things had gone smoothly. Alex still wasn’t her biggest fan, but she was cordial, Nia seemed to be upset at her, but not significantly, James was no longer a part of the friend group (thank _Rao_ ) , and Brainy, well… He didn’t seem to care that she had lied at all, and had no problem discussing science with her.

The only significant issue Lena had, was the substantial amount of jealousy, envy and heartache she felt whenever she saw Kara and Lucy together. She knew that it was inevitable, that they were most likely going to get married, and perhaps, if they wanted, eventually have children… but it still killed her. She had absolutely no idea how to deal with the pain, and it was going to be the end of her at some point.

She was sitting at her desk, when she received a text. She looked at her phone and felt her heart flip in her chest when she saw who it was.

She opened the text and smiled wide when she read it.

 **Kara:** _Brunch?_

Lena smiled and typed back instantly.

**Lena:** _With you? Absolutely._

**Kara:** _Good because I’m already here!_

Lena laughed as excitement overtook her. She got out her compact mirror to check her makeup, but before she could even open it, her door opened, and Kara walked in with two Big Belly Burger bags in her hand, and a bright smile on her face.

Lena’s heart melted at the sight and she smiled even wider than before. “You know, the Queen Of All Media really shouldn’t be spending her spare time with the lowly Queen of All Science.” She teased.

Kara rolled her eyes and laughed. “When the Queen of All Science cures cancer, I think the Queen of All Media can make an exception.”

Lena bit her lip to keep from laughing. “Why are we talking in third person?” She asked.

Kara shrugged and sat down as she laughed. “You started it, so I just played along.” She smiled.

Lena’s heart melted a bit more; things were finally starting to feel normal between them again, and although it hurt to see Kara with Lucy... maybe, _just_ maybe, she’d survive it.

 

**XXX**

They sat, and talked, and ate. There were tons of laughter, and friendly touches, and every single one of them made Lena’s heart stop and warmth crawl through her entire body. She was beginning to rethink the whole ‘maybe she’d survive this’ thing; because if Kara’s touch still affected her that much after everything they’d gone through, she knew it’d only get worse, and she was barely breathing now.

She was having an internal battle with herself about what she should do next, when Kara seemed to take notice of the war inside her head. She frowned and placed a hand on Lena’s knee, which only strengthened Lena’s longing to kiss Kara until Lena ran out of breath. “Lee? What’s wrong?” She asked worriedly; concern written all over her face.

Lena bit her lip, she’d already lied to Kara and almost destroyed them, so what could she do besides either tell the tuth, or try to brush it off? “I-it’s complicated. Sorry, no need to worry about it.” She said with a nervous chuckle.

Kara frowned and shook her head. “Of course, I need to worry about it, Lena. You’re my friend!”

Lena tried as hard as she possibly could to ignore the pang in her chest at the word friend… Kara hadn’t even said _best_ friend; and although the title of best friend would hurt too, hearing that she had, in fact, been downgraded even further, destroyed her. She smiled through the pain and looked down at the ground. “Please Kara, just… let it go. _Please_?”

Kara kept her hand on Lena’s knee and squeezed it. “Okay, but… If you ever _do_ want to talk about it, I’m here… Okay?”

Lena smiled and pleaded with her tears to stay at bay as she nodded. “I know, Kara.” She said as her tears betrayed her and caused her voice to shake.

As soon as Kara heard the pain in Lena’s voice, she pulled her into a hug. “Hey, hey… Shhh.” She cooed. “I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere. You’re not alone, Lee. You’re not alone.”

Lena squeezed Kara as hard as she could, pulling their bodies together as close as physically possible. She breathed in the scent of Kara and held onto her. “I’m sorry.” She croaked.

Kara shook her head. “Stop being sorry for having emotions, Lena. I’m your friend, I’m here for you, always.” She avowed.

Lena continued to hold onto Kara as if her life depended on it. “I wanted to enjoy this, but I just ruined it with my feelings.”

Kara pulled back from the hug just enough for their eyes to meet. “Lena, your feelings matter. _You_ matter. I know that your family never treated you the way you should, but you _do_ matter, Lena. So, whenever you feel sad, you’re allowed to cry, and if it happens when I’m with you, I will comfort you. And if it ever happens when I’m not with you? You’re allowed to cry then too. Whoever makes you feel like you’re not allowed to cry or have emotions can go to hell. You matter, your feelings matter, and you are allowed to show them.”

Lena then cried harder, and slammed her body back into Kara’s… Kara’s words meant more to Lena than Kara could ever understand, but it also made things harder on Lena because she just kept falling deeper, and deeper in love with her.

 

**XXX**

Kara had gone back to CatCo an hour ago, and Lena was sat on her office couch, contemplating her next move. She knew, that somehow, she was going to have to find some way to cope with Kara being with Lucy, but she just didn’t know how to do that _healthily_.

There was only _one_ person that she knew of that could possibly help her, but to go to her would risk her imprisonment. She wasn’t like Lena 45, she didn’t want to be imprisoned to stay away from Kara and Lucy… because being away from Kara was torturous for her.

She debated for a while before she decided that it was worth the risk. Kara 45 was most likely over her rage by that point, it had been well over 7 months since everything had taken place, and if Kara could forgive her, surely Kara 45 could as well.

She took a sip of whisky (just to be safe) and took out her extrapolator. She programed it for Earth 45, activated a portal, and walked through. She just hoped that Lena 45 could help her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think Lena is going to find on Earth 45?
> 
> As always, I really do hope you're enjoying!


	25. Chapter 25

As soon as Lena stepped through the portal, she saw Lena 45 sitting at her desk, her hands on her laptop keyboard, and a shocked expression on her face. “38?” Lena 45 asked.

Lena nodded with a bashful smile. “Hi.”

45 frowned. “What are you doing here?”

Lena wrung her hands together. “Kara and I are just starting to become _friends_ again, and I’d like to learn to cope with the fact that I can’t be with her. It’s starting to become unbearable, but I want her to be happy. So, I really don’t know what to do besides drink myself into a stupor, and I know that nothing good would ever come from that. So, I came to ask for advice.”

Lena 45 sighed and shut her laptop before standing up and walking over to Lena. “You shouldn’t be here.” She said. “ _My_ Kara is still really pissed at you, and if she catches you it’ll be out of my hands.”

Lena frowned as her heart dropped. “She’s still angry about everything?”

Lena 45 chuckled and nodded. “Very.”

Lena frowned. “So, are you two… a couple now?”

“No.” 45 said sadly as she shook her head. “She and I talked after we came home together, and we both confessed our feelings for each other… she admitted she loved me, but she still loves Lucy too and she doesn’t believe in divorce. She wants to work things out with Lucy. So, I told her the only way I would stop fighting for her is if she finally stood up for herself and told Lucy that she wasn’t happy, and that she wanted more, and Lucy finally made an effort to be a better to her.”

Lena’s heart broke for Lena 45 as she saw the anguish on her face. “So, did she? Are they happy now?”

45 shrugged. “Lucy tries more now that she knows she’s got me as competition. They went on a vacation to the Bahamas together a few months back as well, but Kara still isn’t one hundred percent happy, and she spends more time with me than her own workaholic wife because she doesn’t know how to stop and appreciate Kara.”

Lena sighed. “Is there nothing that you can do to change her mind? To finally push her to stop settling for less and give you a chance to show her what a relationship is _supposed_ to be like?”

45 chuckled humorlessly. “I’ve tried, but I’ve resigned myself to a fate of living as Kara’s best friend, and I’m just going to have to be okay with that, because having Kara in my life in any capacity is better than not having her in it at all. I’ve even tried dating to try to get over her, but all I felt was longing for Kara. None of them feel right, and all I find myself doing is wanting to go home and call Kara. To me, everyone pales in comparison to her, and so I’ve just stopped trying. If they aren’t Kara, I don’t want them; and that’s that.”

Lena nodded and let out a slow sigh. “Yeah… I feel the same way.” She said sadly. “When does it get easier to bear?”

“It doesn’t get easier, you just... learn to accept it, I guess.” 45 started with a sad expression in her eyes. “The only advice I can give to you is to just take it day by day. Don’t focus on the future, focus on the here and now, because that’s the only way you can get through it. Also, distract yourself when you’re not around her… because focusing _too much_ on the present can still get overwhelming at times.”

Lena swallowed down her sadness and nodded. “I really wish things had turned out differently for you. I was hoping you would at least get a chance with her… I know I already blew mine.”

45 smiled sadly. “Yeah…” She said with anguish in her voice. “I did too.”

 

**XXX**

“Wait, so you’re telling me that your Lucy doesn’t treat Kara like a _last_ priority?” Lena 45 asked incredulously.

Lena bit her lip and nodded. “She actually treats her _very_ well and has even forgiven her for kissing me while they were together… Lucy is great to her.”

Lena 45 frowned. “Then… I know it hurts to see her with someone else, but why haven’t you tried to let go of the hope sooner? She’s happy, and even though it’s hard that she isn’t happy with _us,_ Kara’s happiness is all that matters.”

Lena frowned. “Because I can’t help but be selfish when it comes to her.” She admitted. “She’s everything to me, and it’s almost unbearable to see her with someone else. I’m glad that she’s happy, but the envy, jealousy, and heartache overpower it. I try, I do… but I always end up failing.”

Lena 45 smiled sadly and gave Lena a nod. “Well, what matters now is that you’re trying harder… You’re taking an initiative. I’m just sorry that our plan backfired so badly. I never expected my Kara to show up.”

Lena laughed through tears. “It’s not your fault, I was the one who kept it going for so long. I couldn’t even find a way to break you out of the DEO, but if I had been able to, none of this would be happening right now.”

45 gave Lena a sympathetic smile. “But, do you really think, in hind sight, that your relationship would have lasted? I mean… It would have been based on a lie. A _massive_ lie.”

Lena sighed and shook her head. “I don’t know what would have happened, but I really hope it would be better than this.” She bit her lip and downcast her eyes as sorrow and pain overtook her. “I know what we did was wrong, and I know how badly I hurt her… but, I just want a chance with her. It’s killing me that this is where we’re at. She doesn’t even call me her _best_ friend anymore… That’s now Nia.”

45 gave her an empathetic look. “When we got back here, Kara was livid with me. Not only for disappearing for over a month, but for helping you deceive another Kara. She chastised me a lot, but it was only because she loves me. Your Kara is so hurt because she loves you. I’m not saying she’s _in love_ with you, because I don’t know her, but I _do_ know that the only people that can hurt us as badly as you hurt her, are the people that we love. Just like the way you were hurt that she had kept the secret about Supergirl for so long… because you loved her. So, she does love you Lena, and she will forgive you, and you will earn your title back. Because that’s just how love works. I don’t know whether you will ever win her heart again, but you do have a piece of it, and that should be able to get you through each day. We have to keep living though, Lena… She’s our main reason to live, yes… And if she died, we’d end up like 84. But your Kara _isn’t_ dead, she’s very much alive, and you have to keep going because even if she’s your main source of happiness, she’s not the only one. You can find a way to be content… The pain will still be there, the love will still be there, and the void will still be there, but you can cope with that. Read, write, invent, watch TV, be her _friend_ Those are just some of the ways to distract yourself, and give yourself momentary happiness. Will they fix your broken heart? No. But they will, temporarily, put a patch on it.”

Lena smiled, she knew Lena 45 was right… She’d noticed it when she had been watching tv… Kara isn’t the _only_ thing that can make her chuckle… Kara may be the only one that can make her laugh jubilantly from the bottom of her toes, but other things could _still_ make her laugh. Living life without being able to kiss Kara would be hard, and it’d _never_ be painless, but maybe… _Just maybe_ she could survive it.

That didn’t mean she’d ever get over Kara, though.

**XXX**

 

The two doppelgangers continued to talk for another few hours, about a _multitude_ of things.

They shared blueprints to inventions and agreed that they would stay in touch through interdimensional phones, but when their conversation had come to a close, Lena decided that she wasn’t done on Earth 45 just yet.

She wanted to try to fix things between herself and Kara 45 and perhaps talk to her about giving Lena 45 a chance to make her happy. But Lena knew that 45 would protest so, when she and Lena 45 said goodbye, Lena didn’t teleport herself back to Earth 38; instead teleported herself to Kara 45’s penthouse because she couldn’t handle that anyone with Kara’s face hated her.

Lena’s Kara was the most understanding, loving, kind, and forgiving person in the universe, so she wholeheartedly believed that if she talked to Kara 45 face to face, she could reason with her and earn her forgiveness for what she’d done. She knocked on the door, her heart thudding in her chest, and when the door open, she was met with a confused look. “You cut your hair?” Kara asked in surprise. “It looks amazing.” She paused for a moment and her eyes went wide. “N-not that you don’t _always_ look amazing it’s just that th-this new look is a _different_ amazing. You know… b-but not in a bad way!”

Lena giggled as warmth spread through her heart. Yep, this Kara was just like her own. She shook her head adoringly and cut off Kara’s constant rambling. “No.” She laughed. “I’m not your Lena. It’s me, Lena 38. I wanted to come by and personally apolog-.”

Kara 45’s look of adoration fell and turned into one of utter disdain. She interjected immediately. “I told you to leave us alone!” She fumed.

Lena nodded. “Y-yes. I-I know, but I thought that, maybe… If I were to tell you my side of things I wou-“

Before she could even finish her sentence, Kara had her in handcuffs and was flying her towards (what she assumed was) Earth 45’s version of the DEO.

 

**XXX**

When she had been frisked and locked up in a clear circular DEO cell, Lena immediately began to panic… What on Earth was she supposed to do now? She had thought for sure that Kara would be rational and allow her to talk, but she had been wrong… Kara 45 was furious and still had vitriol in her eyes whenever they met Lena’s.

“Wait!” Lena yelled desperately  at the love of her life’s doppelganger. “Please don’t do this.”

Kara 45 turned around and glared at her. “Why shouldn’t I?” She asked angrily.  “You locked Lena away for your own selfish gain. Let her rot in a DEO cell, on an entirely different planet than her own, for over a _month_ just because you couldn’t own up to your own mistakes.”

Lena clenched her jaw. “She _offered_!”

“Yeah… she did, but only because she was heartbroken, and you took advantage of that!” Kara 45 said before she slammed the door to the cell room shut behind her, leaving Lena alone.

 

**XXX**

 

The first week had been unbelievably hard, all Lena could think about was Kara… Kara’s beautiful sapphire eyes, her dazzling smile, her heart melting laugh. Her warm hugs… Her gorgeous pink lips. Her adorable scar above her eye. Her heart fluttered for a moment as she reveled in her memories of Kara.

 Was Kara okay? Did she think that Lena had up and left her? Had Kara even noticed that she was gone? Was she worried? Was she angry? Was she searching for Lena? There were so many questions and concerns, but zero answers.

She was also going insane with boredom and loneliness. There was no one to talk to, and nothing to do but sit in her six by six cell and marinate on the thought of how much she missed Kara.

About five days into her incarceration, she started thinking about L-Corp… How was it doing? Had it begun to collapse yet? Had the world noticed her absence? Had it been attacked?

She was dying with curiosity, heartache, loneliness, and so, so much more. All she wanted was  to get back home. She missed Kara, she missed L-Corp, and she missed take-out food and Netflix. She hoped that someday, she would be able to return to her home… She just hoped that her life was there for her when and if she did return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will Lena ever get home?
> 
> If so, how do you think?


	26. Chapter 26

After a while of being incarcerated, Lena had lost track of how long she’d been imprisoned. For all she knew it could have been months. She missed everything about being free, she missed the sun on her face, the sound of birds chirping in harmony. She missed Kara’s laugh, and her cheeky little grin when she said something ‘bad’, she missed her hugs, and her warmth, but most of all… She missed _Kara_.

She still had no idea what Kara thought about her absence, or if she’d even noticed yet. Perhaps Kara thought Lena abandoned her, or that she was doing this for attention. Either way, there was no way for Kara to know what genuinely had happened, and she wasn’t sure that if Kara did know, that she would even care.

Her heart broke at the though, and she decided that she had finally had enough. She was tired of the shitty food, stale oxygen, and little walking room. She was starting to go crazy; she needed freedom, she needed _Kara._

She finally decided that enough was enough. She knew she was being monitored, and she was done being the perfect inmate. She needed to get back to Kara. She walked over to the wall of the cell  and began to pound on it ferociously. “LET ME OUT! I’VE DONE MY TIME, I UNDERSTAND WHAT SHE WENT THROUGH! NOW, PLEASE LET ME OUT!” She yelled irately.

The camera turned to face her directly, and Lena smiled viciously she was ready to give whoever was behind the camera a piece of her mind, but when she was about to speak, the doors to the room that held the cell opened, and in walked Earth 45’s version of Supergirl.

Lena froze… she hadn’t expected this turn of events. She had fully intended to scream and rant at a security camera. “S-supergirl?” She asked the red-suited, dark-blue caped version of Kara.

Kara 45 rolled her eyes. “ _Power_ Girl.” She corrected.

Lena glared. “Right, well excuse me for thinking that Supergirl has a better ring to it.” She sassed.

Kara 45 rose an unimpressed eyebrow. “Do you really think that giving me an attitude is going to in _any_ way help you?”

Lena shrugged, defiant. “I’m not exactly sure what’s going to help me at the moment. You seem pretty adamant on keeping me contained until I turn to dust.”

Kara rolled her eyes. “What did you expect? You kidnapped my best friend for over a month just, so you could try to manipulate your way into Kara 38’s heart.”

Lena chuckled humorlessly. She was fed up with everything. She just wanted to go home and hug Kara…. She just hoped that Kara would still _want_ to hug her. “Is it really kidnapping when she _wanted_ to go to prison rather than watch you be with someone else? And can you _really_ consider her your best friend when you’re both in love with each other?”

Kara 45 glared. “It is kidnapping when you preyed on her heartache… And I don’t know what you’re talking about! I’m _married_!”

Lena bit her tongue, trying to suppress the build up of anger and heartache that she’d been holding in from the moment she found out Kara was Supergirl, through all the alternate universes, and up until where she was now…. But she couldn’t anymore. “ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?” She fumed. “The _only_ reason that she even came to my Earth was to get away from your ‘marriage’ if you want to get technical! You may not have been in love with Lena 45 when you married Lucy, but you _are_ in love with her now! She’s heartbroken, she’s lost, and she’s a hollowed out shell of who she was because you refuse to even give her a chance!”

“I’M MARRIED!” Kara 45 screamed, as if that were supposed to end the debate; and sure, if the marriage were stable, and healthy, that _would’ve_ ended Lena’s tirade, but it wasn’t, and so it didn’t.

 “ _Are you_?” Lena asked rhetorically. “Because, from my understanding, marriage is a union of two people who love, honor, and respect each other. A union of two people who prioritize and love each other above all other earthly things. But what you call your marriage, _isn’t_ that.”

Kara 45 ground her teeth. “I love my wife, and I’m not going to betray her.” She growled. “Marriage is for better or worse.”

Lena nodded. “Yes, but you’re forgetting the rest of the vows, if you don’t keep them all, then you don’t have a marriage. You can’t forget about ‘for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love _and to cherish_ , till death do us part.’” Lena exclaimed. “Or the part where you exchange the rings and promise to love, _hono_ r, and _respect_ each other!”

Kara narrowed her eyes. “What are you saying?”

“I’m saying Lucy has been breaking those vows to you for your entire marriage! And I’m pretty sure by you falling in love with your best friend, you’ve broken a few vows yourself. Cheating isn’t the only way to break a vow!”

Kara 45 shook her head, a look of exasperation and pain on her face. “I promised Lucy to death do us part. I can’t go back on that. I love her!”

Lena smiled sadly; she could see the absolute turmoil in Kara’s head. She was fighting with her mind and heart. She wanted to be loyal to her wife, but she also wanted to be with Lena 45. It was obvious, and it broke a part of Lena’s already tattered heart. “You love her, but she doesn’t make you happy… and you’re not in love with her either.  You’re in love with Lena 45, and you both deserve to be happy.”

Kara tightened her jaw. “I can’t just give up my marriage. I made a commitment.”

Lena nodded. She _needed_ to get through to Kara’s stubborn loyalty. “Yes, but so did she. She made a commitment to you that she has broken a countless number of times. How is ignoring you for days at a time cherishing you? How is canceling dates repeatedly respecting you? How is not even telling you when she’s going to be home again honoring you? How is ignoring your pleas for more time together any of those things? None of it is, she treats you terribly, Kara… You aren’t happy, you walk on egg shells, and you’re too scared to stand up for yourself because you’re afraid of losing your marriage. That’s a neglectful, and toxic relationship. She’s broken all of the vows that aren’t adultery, but honestly, do you even know if she has been faithful to you? You can’t know that, because she’s never even around you for you to be able to notice. I’m not saying that she did cheat, I’m just saying that _if_ she did you would never find out because she’s never even around. You’re miserable, and you’re not _in love_ with her. You wanting to preserve your marriage is noble, you wanting to stay faithful is noble, but keeping both yourself _and_ the woman that you love miserable is stupid.”

Kara 45 glared at her. “The only reason you’re saying this is because you want another Lena to end up with another Kara.”

Lena sighed and flopped her head against the clear glass wall of the cell in exasperation. “Think about what I said, Kara. You deserve happiness. You deserve love. You deserve devotion. Your Lucy refuses to give that to you, but all Lena wants is the chance to give it to you. On my Earth, Lucy and Kara are together too, but Lucy doesn’t ignore my Kara. She gave up starting her own law firm just to move to National City and be closer to Kara. She loves her and treats her right. It kills me that I’m not with her, but you know what would devastate me even more?”

Kara 45 furrowed her brows. “What?” She inquired.

“Watching her be with someone that doesn’t deserve her and treats her like garbage,” Lena replied. “And that’s exactly what Lena 45 is forced to do every single day of her life.”

Kara stood silently for a moment, her face expressionless and her eyes staring straight ahead. Lena’s heart thudded in her chest; she knew that she was treading on thin ice, Kara 45 already hated her, she wasn’t sure that killing was out of the cards for this version of Kara.

But, despite Lena’s fears, she stood her ground; her arms crossed, face set in stone, chin rose. She was daring Kara 45 to hurt her… because at this point, she didn’t really care if Kara did.

But, instead of opening up the cell and doing anything to Lena, Kara 45 crossed her arms, came back to reality and shook her head slightly before speaking again. “I can’t… I can’t give up on my marriage.” She said, but her voice didn’t sound sure any more, and there was doubt clouding her eyes.

Lena bit her cheek. “If you were happy, and not in love with another woman, I would agree with you. But you’re miserable, and in love with a woman that wants nothing more than be everything to you.”

Kara swallowed palpably. “On Krypton, marriage is sacred. You fight for it, and you never give up on it. In fact, divorce is _illegal_ there.”

Lena nodded. “I understand that your culture is different Kara, but on Krypton you also can’t marry someone that you aren’t matched with by a computer.” She countered. “Did you make sure Lucy was a match on the Matricomp?”

Kara averted her eyes and shook her head no, and when she did so, something in her expression changed; almost as if she resigned to something. “I have to go.” She said. “I will be back.”

 

**XXX**

Once again, Lena wasn’t sure how many more days it took, but she knew it had to be at least three, when the door to her cell room finally opened once again.

Lena looked up to see her own doppelganger walk in and Kara’s doppelganger follow in right behind her. Lena 45 looked wary and confused, and Kara 45 looked determined.

“45?” Lena asked in a cracked voice. “What’s going on?”

Lena 45 shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know.” She replied. “I haven’t seen her in a week, but maybe me constantly bugging her (in person _and_ through texts) about letting you go back to Earth 38 has finally worked?”

Lena felt hope rise within her and looked over to Kara 45, but couldn’t read her expression. She was just about to ask, when Kara 45 visibly inhaled before calling out to her Lena. “Lee?” She asked.

Lena 45 turned to look quizzically at Kara 45. “Yes?”

Kara 45 bit her lip and looked down for a moment before she exhaled slowly and then spoke. “A few years ago I married Lucy, and you were my second maid of honor.” She said nervously.

The heartbreak in Lena 45’s eyes was tangible, and Lena had no idea why Kara would bring up her wedding, when she knew how painful it was for 45; but she stood in silence and let the conversation unfold. She had no idea why they were both in her cell room, and she had every intention of finding out.

Lena 45 looked at the ground and nodded. “I-I know. You looked beautiful in your tuxedo.”

Kara 45 smiled sadly, her brows were creased and face tense as the forced smile didn’t even attempt to reach her eyes. “You looked beautiful in your sating gown too, Lena.” She said. “But what I’m trying to say is, you stood up there, silent, with a supportive smile forced on your face as you watched me marry someone that wasn’t you. You stood there, with a broken heart, and watched the one you loved marry someone that wasn’t you silently because all you cared about was my happiness. Then, you stayed in my life, being my best friend, and supporting me through an unhappy unhealthy marriage, even though it killed you to do it.”

Lena swallowed, what was happening? Lena 45 seemed to be thinking the same thing.

“I-,” 45 lowered her head, her face crumpling. “Should I have walked away?” She asked heartbrokenly, her voice cracking.

Kara crossed the room to Lena 45 immediately. She bent her index finger, and placed it under her chin, using it to lift Lena 45’s head so they could meet eyes. Kara smiled adoringly at 45 and shook her head. “No, you absolute goofball.” She said with a gentle, tearful chuckle. “It was the most selfless, thing anyone has ever done for me.” She replied. “I just wish you hadn’t had to do it.”

Lena 45 looked up at Kara as if she were staring at the most beautiful, and perfect thing in all of existence; like she was the luckiest person in the world for merely being able to look at Kara… It was a look of pure love and adoration, and Lena could relate to everything that Lena 45 was showing; she felt the exact same way, and wore an almost identical expression whenever she looked at her own Kara.

“I wish I hadn’t either.” Lena 45 responded. “But I had to, because Lucy is the-,”

“Lucy and I are divorcing.” Kara rushed to say.

Lena 45 stopped mid sentence, her eyes wide; a look of pure incomprehension all over her face. “I- w-what? D-did you just say-,”

Kara smiled timidly and nodded slowly. “She finished moving her stuff out of the penthouse this morning. I moved her into one of the penthouses in my building, the one right beneath Alex’s, until she can find a place of her own.”

Lena’s heart fluttered as she realized that her speech had finally caused Kara 45 to realize that she deserved more than a half-assed marriage.

Lena 45 stood in pure shock. “I-, wh-, when? _Why_? You’ve always been against divorce!”

Kara 45 smiled and nodded before she walked over to the cell’s control panel and unlocked the door, confusing Lena further. Kara 45 walked over and gently ushered Lena out of the cage before gesturing to Lena. “This woman, Earth 38’s Lena Luthor, told me exactly how it was. She made me realize that I’m not bound by Krypton’s customs, that I deserved to be happy, and that I can be happy… with _you_.”

Lena 45 looked between Kara 45 and Lena, clearly processing what was happening. Finally, after a long moment of silence, a hopeful look came to 45’s face. “Y-you mean… With me, _romantically_?” She asked in hopeful disbelief. “L-like in a romantic _relationship_ … with _me_?”

Kara smiled and chuckled adoringly as she crossed the room and nodded her head. “Yes, Lena… That is what I’m saying. That I’m in love with you, that I have been for two years, and that I want to be with you. That is, if you wa-,”

“I want you! I want _us_!” 45 countered before Kara could finish her sentence.

Kara looked deeply into Lena 45’s eyes and cupped Lena 45’s face in both of her strong Kryptonian hands, causing both Lena’s breath to hitch. “I’m going to kiss you, now. Okay?” Kara asked.

Lena 45, through heavy lidded eyes, nodded jerkily, “Mhm.” She squeaked out desperately.

Kara smiled and examined 45’s face for just a moment longer before she kissed her Lena passionately.

Lena stood and watched with a wistful smile. She was happy for them, albeit also a bit jealous. She just hoped that now that Lena and Kara 45 were finally together at long last, it meant that she would be permitted to go home and finally see her own Kara.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will Lena finally get to go back to Earth 38 now? 
> 
> If so, what will she find, and how long has she been kept prisoner?


	27. Chapter 27

 

Lena stood there awkwardly as Kara 45 kissed Lena 45 senseless. It was obvious that they both had been wanting to do it for a while; their hands were all over each other’s body as Kara held Lena 45 against the wall, and the noises they were making were practically pornographic.

Lena didn’t want to ruin their first kiss, but she felt utterly awkward and had no idea what was about to happen to her, or what she was supposed to do in their current situation, so she cleared her throat, pulling the Earth 45 women out of their lust-filled haze.

Kara let go of Lena 45 and placed her back on the ground, fixing her Supersuit and hair before licking her lips and meeting Lena’s eyes. “S-sorry.” She said as she bit her lip and looked away awkwardly. “I just… I’ve been wanting to do that for a _long_ time.” She explained.

Lena couldn’t help but chuckle with adoration at Kara 45, her heart mending itself just a sliver as she looked over Kara’s shoulder to see her doppelganger, who was smiling a _genuine_ smile and blushing like a schoolgirl behind Kara 45. “Believe me, I understand,” She smiled. “But I was wondering if this might mean I could go home now?” She asked hopefully.

Kara 45 nodded and pulled out an extrapolator as a wide smile spread across her face. “Of course, you can go home.” She looked down and tightened her smile. “I wish that I could say that I regret locking you up, but I don’t. Because if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have her, and I’d still be miserable.” She declared as Lena 45 came up to stand next to her. Kara 45 grabbed Lena 45’s hand and they shared a loving glance before they focused their attention back onto Lena.

“I-I don’t know how to thank you. Words can’t begin to express how grateful for whatever it was that you did. I tried to help you by letting you lock me up, but in the end, it seems to have only ended up helping me instead. I hope that one day, you and your Kara find your way to each other, but if you don’t, please remember, that no matter what, you can survive.”

Lena smiled. “You don’t have to thank me. I’m _unbelievably_ happy for you two.” She said, her heart filling with joy as she watched her doppelganger hold Kara’s hand. “I wish you both the best.”

Kara and Lena 45 smiled before they both enveloped Lena in a tight bear hug. Lena pulled back a few moments later and smiled at them, feeling nervous butterflies fill her stomach as she realized she was _finally_ going to get to go home and hug her own Kara. “Please, no matter what happens, don’t let go of her.” She pleaded with Lena 45.

Lena 45 burrowed into Kara 45’s side as the Kryptonian wrapped her arm around Lena 45’s waist. “I’ll never be dumb enough to do that.” Lena 45 smiled. “You’ve given me the greatest gift I could ever ask for, 38. I definitely don’t plan on squandering it no matter how undeserving I am.”

Lena smiled at that, she was filled with a small amount of peace as she realized that Kara 45 and Lena 45 would most likely make it through eternity. “You’re not undeserving, Lee.” Kara 45 frowned.

But before they could continue with that argument, Lena 45 opened the portal for Lena to walk through. “Say hi to Kara 38 for me, she was the nicest captor I’ve ever had.” She joked.

Lena laughed and shook her head fondly at Lena 45. “You’re ridiculous,” She teased before she stepped through the breach.

 

**XXX**

As soon as Lena landed in her penthouse, she grabbed her keys and ran down to the parking garage in her building. She knew that there were hundreds of things that she should be concerned about pertaining to L-Corp’s wellbeing, but at that particular moment in time the only things he was worried about was finding Kara and hugging her.

She zoomed through the streets, not caring about the laws of traffic; only one thing was on her mind: Get To Kara.

She was terrified about how Kara would react when she saw her; was worried that she’d be angry, that she would think Lena just up and left her. Or worse; that she thought Lena had been murdered. She still hadn’t checked the date to see how long it’d been since she left Earth, but she couldn’t find it in herself to care about that at the moment; the only thing she cared about, only thing she could _think_ about was hugging Kara and trying to explain what had happened so that they could try to move forward with their friendship.

She skidded to a stop in front of Kara’s apartment building and rushed up the stairs; only stopping her run when she finally reached Kara’s door. She knocked on the door almost frantically, for a minute straight before she realized that she wasn’t going to get an answer… No one was home.

She frowned, and her heart sank a bit as the realization hit her, but she knew two more places that she could check; Alex’s, and Lucy’s. So, she rushed down the stairs and to Alex’s apartment.

When Lena reached her second favorite Danvers’ home, she again knocked on the door rapidly… but she still received no answer. She was hit with an overwhelming sensation of sadness as she realized that she (once again) had to wait longer to see Kara.

She once again ran downstairs and to her car and drove all the way across the city to where Lucy’s place was. She walked up the two flights of stairs and then knocked again with bated breath, hoping that Lucy was home.

A few seconds later the door opened, and Lucy stood in front of her with a look of utter disbelief. Her appearance was completely disheveled and her face showing pure agony. “LENA!?!” She yelled half in disbelief and half in full rage.

Lena smiled nervously and weakly waved a timid hand. “Hi.” She said. “I-I went to Kara’s and Alex’s, but I received no answer. I have no idea where they went.”

Lucy scoffed. “Well, yeah. Welcome to reality.” She growled. “Thanks to you, no one has been able to find Alex or Kara for three months.”

Lena’s heart sank and her world fell to pieces. Kara was missing. So was Alex. Had this Earth just turned into a double-whammy version of Earth 84, where she was responsible for not only Kara’s death, but Alex’s as well? She was terrified that Kara was dead, that she’d end up just like Lena 84; alone, miserable, and homicidal. Her heart ached, her stomach churned, and her world spun as she gripped the wall for support. “W-what?!”

Lucy glared. “When you first went missing, Kara thought that you went off the grid. She was angry, and hurt, and tried multiple times to call you to ask why you left without a goodbye. She went to all of your vacation homes, and foreign branches of L-Corp, but ultimately decided that you were shunning her so that you could get over her. She was hurt and angry, but she stopped looking for a few days; but when L-Corp’s stocks plummeted because there was no one to lead, Kara began to worry and went to search your apartment (she hadn’t done so before because she thought that you’d feel violated). That’s when she found the broken extrapolator on your living room floor.”

Lena frowned in confusion. “It was broken?”

Lucy rolled her eyes angrily but nodded. “Yes, keep up with the pace.” She ordered before continuing. “After that, she and Brainy worked together to fix it. It took about two weeks to finally get it in proper working order, but it hadn’t saved its breaching history; it had basically factory reset itself.” Lucy informed. “So, Kara had no idea where you would have gone had you have truly breached to another world. She couldn’t remember any of the Earth’s that you had traveled to, there were so many of them that you had mentioned that she couldn’t remember, so she decided to go to different Earths one by one. She always came back empty handed, but then one day she said that she remembered one Earth; and without telling us which Earth it was, she opened the breach and left… And never came back. After three days, Alex used the breach to go to the last place it had breached Kara, and neither of them has been seen sense, and the breaching device malfunctioned again so Brainy had to fix it, which caused its breaching history to be swiped… _again_.”

Lena’s heart shattered; she couldn’t believe that Kara had been missing for so long. “H-how long have I been missing?” She asked with a shaky breath.

Lucy gritted her teeth. “Like you don’t know?”

Lena knew how bad it all looked right then, but she couldn’t waste time playing Lucy’s games. She needed to figure out exactly what was going on. “No, Lucy. I _need_ to know! How long have I been gone?”

Lucy glared. “Five months.”

Lena was in utter shock; she knew that she’d been gone for quite some time, but she had never expected it to have been such a substantial amount of time. “I can explain everything, but right now, I need to know exactly how Kara described the Earth that she went to before she left.”

Lucy’s bottom lip began to quiver. “She said that this Earth was the one that you most likely would have went to because you felt the biggest connection with this Lena because she started your whole world jumping charade… That she was dead on that Earth so you would probably go there to get away from anything that resembled her.”

Lena’s heart sank… Kara had gone to Earth 84. But what didn’t make sense was why she hadn’t come back by now.

She had no idea what was going on, but after she and Brainy made two new breaching devices, she was going to Earth 84 and finding out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it's taking so long for me to update recently, a lot has been going on in my life. Hopefully, soon we can get back to the semi-daily updates!
> 
>  
> 
> Also, what do you think Lena is going to find on Earth 84?


	28. Chapter 28

It had taken only a week for Lena and Brainy to concoct two new extrapolators. Lena had gotten her affairs in order, had put Eve temporarily in charge of L-Corp, hoping that she could at least begin evening out L-Corp’s stocks until Lena got back. Now, she was in the middle of the DEO’s lab, preparing to travel to Earth 84; and she wasn’t coming back without Kara and Alex.

“Remember, Lena. We have no idea what they’ve been through, so… be prepared for the unthinkable.” Brainy sadly warned.

Lena felt a lump in her throat rise, and she gulped it down. She didn’t even want to think about what could possibly have happened to Kara during the past three months. She nodded her head and offered Brainy a fake smile. “Thank you, Brainy, but Kara will be fine when I find her, and she and Alex are just going to follow me through the portal home. It will all be fine.”

Brainy gave her an unsure nod in response and walked out of the room without another word.

Lena let out a relieved breath because he hadn’t tried to explain why Lena’s statement might not be exactly true, and then activated the breaching device. She inhaled deeply to settle her nervous butterflies floating around in her churning stomach and then stepped through the portal.

 

**XXX**

The first thing that she noticed when she stepped foot onto Earth 84 Lena’s penthouse was that everything was covered with white sheets; it was almost as if it hadn’t been touched in forever.

Lena frowned, baffled at what she saw. Had Lena 84 moved? She walked into the kitchen, to find no one. She walked down the hallway and entered the spare bedroom, once again, she found no one. Finally, she went to the master bedroom and froze when she saw a familiar body bend over a box. “S-Sam?”

Sam 84 swung around rapidly; her eyes wide, a smile spreading wide across her face. “Lena!” She rushed into Lena’s body and enveloped her into a tight embrace. “Oh my god! H-how are you here?! I-I _saw_ your body! The whole town did! A-and your letter? Why would you write that if you weren’t actually going to do it? Why would you hand L-Corp over to Eve? I-I don’t understand any of this!”

Lena’s heart dropped, and her stomach turned… From what Sam was saying, it sounded very much like Lena 84 had committed suicide. Lena shook her head. “Please tell me you aren’t saying she killed herself.” She said, her voice cracking and her eyes welling up with tears.

Sam 45 frowned. “You’re not _my_ Lena, are you?”

Lena shook her head, still trying to fight back the pain and tears that were trying to destroy her. “I-I’m from Earth 38. I came here because I wanted to find my earth’s Kara and Alex. The last place they were known to go was here.” She informed.

Sam was visibly heartbroken. “I see.” She said. “Well, the good news is, I know where your Alex and Kara are. The bad news is that my Lena killed herself four months ago.” She stopped talking and began to cry even harder than before. “She left a note for me, for ’38, and for ‘The Other Lenas’ I wasn’t quite sure what those meant before your Kara showed up, but reading the note addressed to me was hard enough. I couldn’t even imagine how hard reading two more of her letters would be.”

Lena frowned as she watched Sam walk over to a cabinet and open it up. She didn’t care about the notes at that moment. The only thing she cared about was finding Kara… and Alex. “You said you know where my Kara is?” She asked curiously. “Is she alright? Is she hurt? Can you take me to her? Why didn’t you help her get home?”

Sam smiled sadly and nodded as she handed Lena an envelope with ‘Lena 38’ written on it. “She’s fine. So is Alex. She’s staying at one of _my_ Lena’s beach homes with Alex. They’ve been trying to find a way to get back, but the DEO is being run by a man by the name of General Lane, and _apparently_ , he hates every living thing so they can’t trust him, and they have no one they can go to for help since Lena is dead. Alex and Eliza Danvers are no-where to be found. It seems as if they’ve moved to somewhere untraceable possibly not even on Earth, and where ever they are, they wouldn’t have to tools or means to help your Kara and Alex build an interdimensional space portal. And _I_ can’t help them get home because, apparently unlike your Samantha Arias, _I_ am not a scientist. I’m a secretary, which is how I met my Lena and became friends with her. I was a secretary for Lex, and then when he was arrested, I was a secretary for Lena.”

Lena frowned. “And what about her cousin? Couldn’t he help?”

Sam offered Lena a tight smile. “That is something you’re going to have to discuss with your Kara.” She said as she picked up the box that she’d been leaning over when Lena entered the room. “If you’re willing to come with me, I can take you to them.”

Lena looked at the devastated Sam and decided that she wasn’t a threat, that she was, in fact, a woman that was still mourning the loss of a beloved friend. She nodded. “Yes, please. That would be wonderful!”

 

**XXX**

The beach house seemed to be farther than Lena had anticipated, but she wasn’t going to complain; she was on her way to see Kara, and that’s all that mattered to her. She leaned her head against the window two hours into the drive, and watched the trees and mountains fly by. She sighed, still heartbroken over the loss of a friend, when she remembered the note that Lena 84 had left for her.

She pulled the envelope out of her pocket and opened it, she unfolded the note and then braced herself for what she was about to read.

 

_38,_

_Lena, I know this probably doesn’t come as a shock to you, but my entire plan was always to find and kill all of the men responsible for Kara’s death, and then taking my own life._

_I’m sorry that I kept it from you, but I knew that you would try to stop me, that you would feel like it was your fault after I did it, because you couldn’t stop me, and I couldn’t let that happen, because this isn’t your fault, and nothing you could do would have stopped me._

_Kara was my light, as you know. She was the one thing that completed me, and when she died, I lost everything. Nothing mattered anymore. Not LuthorCorp, not science, not even me. The only thing that kept me alive was the pure rage and determination to find and kill all of the sick bastards that took my Kara away from me._

_Revenge was the only thing keeping me alive, and once I got it, I knew that I couldn’t keep living. Not without Kara. The only place I want to be is with Kara, and this was the only way I could be. I’m not sure if I’ll go where ever Kara goes, because she is purity, and goodness, and I’m not anything good, but… if there’s even a sliver of a chance that I’m with her now, then I’m willing to risk it, and if you’re reading this, then… well, I risked it._

_Please don’t mourn me, 38. I’m where I want to be. I’ve fulfilled my purpose, and now, where ever I am, I’m better off. All I want for you to do, is cherish your Kara. Love her, protect her, and comfort her, regardless if she is your lover or your friend. Your life without Kara is so much more torturous than it could ever be in a life as Kara’s friend._

_Flourish, love, be happy. Don’t **ever** lose her._

_You can, and you will, do good._

_Yours truly,_

_Lena 84_

Lena finished reading the note and began to cry hysterically. Lena 84 had faith in her, had even cared about her enough to give her a note of her own. She knew it shouldn’t mean this much, she knew she should be angry that 84 took the easy way out, but she couldn’t find it in herself to be angry. She couldn’t imagine living a life without Kara. Living the past five months without Kara was torturous, and she couldn’t stop craving Kara’s touch, her voice, her laugh, her smile… She craved everything about Kara so much that it was maddening to not be able to see, hear, or feel her. So, she could only pretend to imagine how devastating living life like that for almost three years would be.

In actuality, she wasn’t even sure she could have survived that long without it.

She wiped her eyes, and let the rush of sadness overtake her momentarily as she folded the note up and put it back in the envelope.

“Your Kara really cares about you, you know. I know that you’ve been going through some things, just like my Lena and Kara did before Kara died, but… Your Kara traveled to another dimension just to find you, and she’s still been looking for you on this Earth the entire time that she’s been here. She hasn’t given up on you… I don’t know what all happened, but your Kara is still alive, and I don’t want you to end up like my Kara and Lena. I don’t want your Sam to have to pack up your apartment after you commit suicide. I don’t want your Sam to have to tell her daughter why her Aunt Lena is no longer alive. So please, whatever is going on between you two, end it. Make amends, live long and happy lives.”

Lena smiled at Sam 84. “Actually, we were trying to be friends; it’s just hard to do that, because I’m in love with her, and she has a girlfriend.”

Sam frowned. “So, you two aren’t in the middle of an all-out war? You aren’t ignoring her?”

“No.” Lena chuckled sadly. “We’ve passed that point. Now we’re at the point where I am trying to hide my yearning for her. That’s actually why I went missing.” She stated. “I went to another Earth to ask another miserable Lena for some advice on how to cope with Kara being with someone else.”

Sam rose an interested brow. “Oh? And how did that go?” She asked.

“Her Kara imprisoned me for five months, and then they ended up together. Then they sent me home only for me to find out that Kara had gone missing.” Lena informed. “So, it really didn’t turn out well out all.”

Sam frowned. “Imprisoned you!? Why would she do that?”

Lena shrugged her shoulders. “I imprisoned her Lena first. It’s a long _, complicated_ story and I really don’t want to focus on that right now. I just want to see Kara and hug her and plead with her not to be angry with me. Then I want to mourn Lena 84, because if it wasn’t for her, Kara and I could be in a lot worse of a place than we are right now. She made me get my head out of my ass and showed me how much worse it could get if I didn’t try to fix things with Kara.”

Sam smiled. “She really was the best.”

 

**XXX**

Forty minutes later, Sam pulled the car into the driveway of a three story mansion right on the coastline. It was a beautiful house, and any other day Lena would admire it, but today all she did was exit the car before it fully stopped and run through the house’s front door.

“KARA! ALEX!” She screamed as she ran through the halls, desperately trying to find the woman she’d been missing for so long.

Within an instant, there was a whoosh of air, and there before her, after all this time, was the love of her life.

“Kara!” She said, tears of euphoria causing her voice to crack.

Kara looked at her with wide eyes. “I-is it actually you, Lee?” She asked in a small, broken, but hopeful voice. “A-are you my Lena?”

Lena’s bottom lip quivered as she smiled. “It’s me, Kara. It’s me.”

Kara’s tears finally fell, and she rushed to embrace Lena, taking Lena’s breath away and sending pure delight through her entire body. “I’ve missed you so much, Lee. I was so scared that I would never see you again, and then when I found out that Lena 84 died, I was so scared that she did something to you too. I was so, so scared, Lena.”

Lena tightened her hold on Kara, breathing in the scent of her that she’d missed so greatly. She reveled in Kara’s strong arms, let her heart dance to the tone of Kara’s voice, and all in all just relished finally being in close proximity to Kara once more. “I missed you too, Kara. I missed you so much I was starting to lose my mind.” She admitted. “I’m so, so glad that I’ve found you.”

Kara pulled back and smiled sadly at Lena. “W-whatever I did to make you leave Earth, I’m so sorry, Lena. I never want t-,”

Lena shook her head fervently. “No! No! Don’t apologize, this isn’t on you, Kara. You did nothing wrong, I just went to visit 45, and was stupid enough to show myself to Kara 45. She took revenge on me, and locked me up for way longer than I ever thought she would. I didn’t leave because of you.”

Kara smiled, and was about to speak when Alex interrupted them. “Well, glad that you two got that out of the way, but… I’d really like to get back home.” She said with a smile. “I miss my girlfriend, and I’m not confident that Lucy hasn’t run the DEO into the ground.” She joked.

Lena and Kara both laughed at the eldest Danvers’ joke.

Lena smiled, but then remembered a question she had asked earlier that Sam hadn’t answered. “Why haven’t you asked Clark to help you?”

Kara smiled. “Superman, Clark Kent, and Lois Lane went missing over a year ago, which makes me believe that he went to Argo City with Lois.”

Before Lena could respond, Sam 84 entered the house with a smile on her face. “I see you’ve finally reunited.”

Alex nodded. “Yeah, thanks to you. We really couldn’t thank you enough, Sam,. You didn’t have to help us, but you did, and we are utterly grateful.”

Kara nodded. “We really are. You will never understand how much this means to us.”

Sam 84 smiled. “Well, it’s what my Lena would have wanted me to do.”

Kara looked at Lena and smiled before she wrapped her arm around Lena’s waist, causing butterflies to dance in Lena’s stomach and shockwaves to shoot through her body. “I can’t imagine losing my best friend, so I’m so sorry that you had to endure it.”

Sam smiled. “It’s been hard, but I’m managing.” She said. “I’m going to go, but please be careful getting back to Earth 38.” She said.

Alex and Kara ran over to hug Sam 84 goodbye, and Lena finally let herself relaxed. She had Kara back, and although Kara was going to go straight back to Lucy’s arms, at least she wasn’t hurt, or dead, or angry with her.

She would relish Kara’s presence until they finally parted for the night, and then she would begin mourning the loss of a dear friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think will happen when they finally get home?


	29. Chapter 29

When they landed in the DEO, Lena watched as Kara and Lucy rushed towards each other and kissed. And although Lena had thought that she had prepared herself for this, and that she was finally strong enough to handle watching Kara love someone else, her heart shattered at the sight, and she realized that she wasn’t strong enough at all.

Her heart ached so severely at the sight of Kara kissing someone else that she had to look away from them and then waited patiently for Kara’s friends and family to surround Kara and Alex before she slipped out of the DEO unnoticed and headed straight home.

 

**XXX**

About six hours later, Lena was lying in bed, staring up at the ceiling as she tried to stop herself from wondering what Kara was doing right then... because she knew that she most likely was curled up in bed with Lucy, reveling in her presence the same way Lena had done when she finally got to hug Kara after five long months.

The thought cracked her heart, but she knew she could survive, despite however painful it might be.

Then she thought back to her friend that she could no longer call upon; the friend that had started her whole journey across the multiverse. The friend that she couldn’t save from her own self. A surge of unadulterated heartache

A tear escaped her eye and slid down her cheek, and she rolled over on her side to stare at the alarm clock on her bedside table; it read 11:56 pm. She sighed, she knew she should try to fall asleep, try to clear her mind, or go to her happy place and try to focus on that enough to fall asleep.

But, she couldn’t manage to get Kara out of her mind, because she _was_ Lena’s happy place. She felt her emotions bubble up, and she was about to explode with grief when there was a noise outside.

Terror coursed through her bones as she jerked up into a sitting position, and prepared to get her taser from her bedside table when she saw a familiar silhouette. As soon as she registered who it was, all of her fear morphed into excitement and a smile crept across her face as she stood up and walked over to her balcony to unlock the door.

As soon as the door was opened and Kara was inside, Lena spoke. “Shouldn’t you be with Lucy? You haven’t seen her in _three months_ , Kara.”

Kara smiled. “Yeah, and it’s been five months since I’ve seen you.”

“Yes, but she’s your girlfriend,” Lena said sadly.

Kara nodded. “I know, but she’s asleep, and I left a note on my pillow just in case she wakes up and notices I’m gone. I spent all day with her, I’m allowed to spend time with my best friend too.”

They both sat down next to each other on the foot of Lena’s bed, Lena wanted to reach out and take Kara’s hand in her own, but she knew better. “Well, of course you are, but don’t you think Lucy is going to be angry that you left in the middle of the night, on your first night back?”

Kara bit her bottom lip and shrugged her shoulders. “I hope not, but I couldn’t help it… I’ve missed you.”

Lena’s heart melted at Kara’s confession. For so long, when she’d been in the Earth 45’s DEO prison, she had feared that Kara wouldn’t even notice that she’d been gone. Or that if she had, she was furious with Lena, but it had turned out to be the complete opposite of both scenarios, and to see that blew Lena’s mind, but mended a piece of her heart at the same time… She still couldn’t comprehend that Kara cared so much about her… To be honest, she didn’t think she would ever fully understand, and inadvertently would never full believe it.

It just didn’t match up with what her entire life had been like. No one ever cared about her. No one ever hugged her, told her she was good enough, said they loved her… No one, but Jack, but in the end, even he left her.

So, she didn’t understand _why_ Kara was still there, especially after everything that Lena had put her through. It didn’t make any sense to Lena, she didn’t understand _why_ , but she was so, _so_ thankful that for whatever it was, Kara still wanted to stay in her life.

“I’m sorry.” She said sincerely. She hated that she had caused Kara pain and worry because she had foolishly shown herself to Kara 45. “I never intended to put so much stress on you. I never meant for any of this to happen. I just wanted to-,” She cut off when she realized that what she couldn’t tell Kara that she had gone to Earth 45 to ask for advice on coping with watching Kara be with Lucy. It’d just stir up problems between them that she’d been so _desperately_ trying to avoid.

Kara frowned. “It’s not your fault Lena; you didn’t force me to go after you. I chose to do that.”

Lena’s heart melted a little at the softness in Kara’s voice, and the confession that Kara _chose_ to search the multiverse for her took her breath away. “Why?” She asked. “After everything we’ve been through, why go searching for me?”

Kara smiled sadly and shook her head. “You just can’t understand that you matter to people, can you?” She asked, a melancholy expression on her face. “You made mistakes, we both did, but that doesn’t mean I stopped caring about you Lena, you’re my best friend.” With that, she placed a gentle hand atop Lena’s thigh.

Lena clenched her jaw, her heart was thudding in her chest and butterflies were dancing in her stomach, but she couldn’t help the cloud of doubt in her mind. “Really? Because I thought Nia had that title now.” She declared petulantly; she knew that she wasn’t being fair, but she couldn’t help it… She was incredibly insecure, and she needed the reassurance.

Kara sighed. “Lena, it’s possible to have more than one best friend. Nia and I have gotten close, I’ll not deny that, but you will always be important to me, regardless of who else I may be friends with.”

Lena frowned. “For a while, you weren’t even calling me your best friend though, Kara… You called me your friend, so I didn’t think that…” She sighed, she hated being so melodramatic, but she couldn’t help it; when it came to Kara, everything like a monumental issue to her. “When you called Nia your best friend for the first time, a piece of me died, Kara. I felt replaced, and although you had every right to replace me if you wanted to, it still destroyed me.”

Kara shook her head and gently squeezed Lena’s thigh. “Lena, I could make a thousand new friends, but none of them could ever replace you.” She said, sincerity and benevolence in her eyes. “We’ve overcome too much, laughed too hard, and hugged too tight for _anyone_ to ever be able to take your place.”

Lena fought hard to keep a smile from forming on her face, but she couldn’t help the slight upturn of the corner of her lips. “Promise?” She asked in a hopeful tone.

Kara let out a light chuckle and pulled Lena into her side. “Of course, I promise, Lena.”

Lena rested her head on Kara’s shoulder and soaked up the feeling that came along with being in Kara’s presence. She’d missed it. She’d missed everything about Kara, but she knew that she’d caused some damage between Kara and Lucy. Damage that would eventual end up causing Kara pain, and damage that she needed to repair because hurting Kara was the last thing that she ever wanted to do. “You should get back to Lucy, Kara.” She said sadly, although it tore her to shreds to say it, but she knew that Lucy wouldn’t be happy that Kara had snuck out in the middle of the night to see her, especially with the very rocky past they’ve all had. It destroyed her to push Kara into the arms of another, but she had to; Lucy was who Kara wanted, Lucy made Kara happy, and Lena was just going to have to bite her tongue and smile through the agony.

Kara pulled back and smiled confusedly at her. “D-do you not want me here?” She asked, her voice sounding mildly dejected.

Lena’s heart broke a the doubt and pain in Kara’s tone, and she immediately rushed to take away Kara’s worry. “Of course, I do!” She blurted out. “Of course, I do, Kara… But, Lucy is your girlfriend, and she loves you, and she would be hurt and angry if she woke up to find out that you snuck off in the middle of the night to see me. She loves you, Kara.”

Kara smiled sadly and nodded. “I know that she loves me, and I love her too, but it’s been five months since I’ve seen you, Lee. I think she’d understand this once.”

Lena frowned, she didn’t want to cause Lucy and Kara’s relationship any more grief. “Are you sure?” She asked. “I don’t want to make her hate me anymore than she already does, and I definitely don’t want to cause your relationship any more issues.”

Kara frowned and shook her head, “Lena, all of the issues in mine and Lucy’s relationship were caused because _I_ made terrible choices that hurt Lucy. I’m the one that fucked up, Lena. She may hate you, but if she should hate anyone it’s me, _I’m_ the one that betrayed her. I know you still don’t understand it, but I’m _not_ perfect, Lena. I make mistakes just like any other person out there. I have no idea why she’s stayed with me, but she did, and it’s not because I’m perfect…because I’m not.”

Lena laughed incredulously. How could Kara not see why Lucy stayed with her? “You really don’t know why Lucy has stayed with you through everything?”

Kara frowned and shook her head.

“She’s stayed with you because you’re a rarity, Kara.” She said as she took Kara’s hand in her own. “You have the most golden heart on the planet. You are strong, and loyal, and only motivated by purity. You love hard but protect even harder. You are honest, and loving, and would do anything to protect anyone, especially those you love. You can fly, and sing, and dance, and rap, and light up an entire room just by being there. One minute you can be playing with puppies, the next minute you could be pushing the world back into orbit.  Your smile is blinding, your laugh is breathtaking, and your hugs are capable of giving out-of-body experiences because they’re so otherworldly. Anyone that would leave you over silly things like that would be an utter moron.”

Kara’s face morphed into something intense, that Lena found unreadable… which unsettled her. “You’re the sweetest person on this planet,” Kara spoke gently as she gently caressed Lena’s thigh with her thumb, a soft gentle look in her eyes. “But Lena, _anyone_ would have had the right to leave me after what I did to Lucy. Just because someone is a good person, doesn’t mean you have to accept being treated badly by them.”

Lena wanted to retort, but she was rendered speechless by the butterflies in her stomach that were caused by Kara’s soft caresses on her thigh. That woman had no idea the things she did to Lena.

“Now, enough about relationships. How are you doing?” Kara asked suddenly. “How are you holding up after everything that you found out on Earth 84?

Lena inhaled sharply at the mention of what had happened, and the loss of Lena 84. “I’m fine.” She lied, looking away from Kara.

Kara took her hand and used it to force Lena to look at her. “You _aren’t_ fine, Lena. You were held hostage on a foreign planet for five months. Finally got home and found out that your business is failing, and your friend went missing. Then went to another Earth to find one friend only to find out that your _other_ friend committed suicide. You aren’t fine, and you don’t have to be.”

Lena gave Kara a sad half smile. “When I’m with you, I’m always better than fine.”

Kara pulled Lena closer to her body. “Yeah? Well, it’s a good thing you’re always going to have me.”

Lena genuinely smiled at that, and her heart skipped a beat. “Promise?”

Kara nodded. “Promise.” She vowed. “Now, please, Lena… If you want to talk about her, or the loss of her, I’m here, and I’m not going _anywhere_.”

Lena lowered her head and let a tear slip free. “I didn’t know here very well,” She started. “She was always drunk, and stoic, and heartbroken, but there was so much about her that I could relate to; so much of her story, of her pain, of her Luthor curse, of her love for you; I could relate to it all, because she _was_ me. I didn’t know her, but at the same time, I _did_. And despite everything she suffered, and all the pain she felt, she relived her deepest heartbreak just to help me; and because of that, I cared about her the most out of all of them.”

Kara nodded, giving Lena ample opportunity to continue speaking, but when Lena stayed silent, she spoke. “I never got the chance to meet her, but I know that since she shared your past, that she was kind, loving, and intelligent. And I can tell just by the way that she helped you; she was an amazing person... Just like you. So, whether you believe it or not, she’s in a better place. Because in every religion out there, including my own, people like you and Lena 84? They don’t go into the darkness; they go into the light.”

Lena smiled through her tears. She had no idea how Kara always knew precisely what to say to make her pain a bit less, but every time she did, it made Lena fall even deeper in love with her… This time was no different. “What’s the light like?” She asked.

Kara smiled and pulled Lena even closer to her, to the point where Lena’s back was against Kara’s chest. “It's peaceful,” She whispered into Lena’s hair, “And you’re with every one you love that made it there too. It’s gorgeous, and everyone is always smiling. Rao’s light warms you and everyone there. All of your loved ones can get together, and talk... You can meet new people and make friends with them. There’s no hunger, or pain, but you can eat and drink whatever you want whenever you want. There’s no need for sleep; and you never get tired. There's nothing negative there, just pure bliss.”

Lena smiled, and hoped that what Kara was true, and Lena 84 and Kara 84 were reunited in Rao’s light together. But then she frowned, what would that mean for _her_ when if she ever ended up where Kara was describing? If pain was nonexistent in Rao’s light, would that mean Kara would love her in Rao’s light? Because if Kara was still with Lucy even in the afterlife, Lena’s heart would still ache, and that’s a type of pain. “W-what about all the people who loved someone that ended up with someone else?”

Kara stiffened for a brief moment. “What about them?” She asked.

“Wouldn’t it still be painful to see them be happy in the afterlife with someone else?”

Kara sighed, and pulled away from Lena, instantly making her regret asking the question in the first place. “They’ll be happier in Rao’s light than they were in life.” Kara said. “I guess since marriages are determined by computers, The Book of Rao didn’t take into consideration Earth customs.” She joked.

Lena smiled, accepting Kara’s answer. As long as she would be happier eventually, that’s all that mattered. “Thank you,” Lena said.

Kara gave her a tender smile. “You’re welcome.” She said before she looked at the alarm clock on Lena’s bedside table and frowned. “Oh gosh! I’m so sorry I kept you awake with my blabbering. It’s almost 3 in the morning!” She apologized as she stood up.

Lena looked at the clock, and her heart sank as she realized that Kara was going to have to go back home… To Lucy. Her stomach churned, and she looked back up at Kara, she wanted to plead with her to stay, to make her realize how much she needed her; but then she remembered that Kara’s heart was with Lucy, and Lena couldn’t be selfish… Not when it came to Kara’s heart. “It’s not a problem, Kara. I’ve missed talking to you. I’ve missed _you_.”

Kara gave Lena a sad smile and nodded her head in agreement. “I missed you too, Lena. Very much.”

With that, she pulled Lena up and into a tight embrace. Lena once again let Kara’s body take over her senses. Her heart was thudding in her chest; her stomach was dancing, her mind was swirling. It was like she was high on Kara…. And she loved it.

Sooner than she’d have liked, Kara pulled away and smiled at her. “Sleep well, Lee. I’ll see you soon, okay?”

Lena nodded, and tried to gulp the lump that was forming in her throat as she held back her tears. “Of course. Thank you, Kara. Have a good night.”

Kara beamed at her, with a sparkle in her eyes that Lena had never seen before; but as soon as it was there, it left, and so did Kara out the balcony doors.

 

**XXX**

“So, you think L-Corp might actually go under?!” Kara asked incredulously. It had been a week since they’d been back, and they were sitting in Kara’s office having lunch together.

Lena sighed. “Well, _temporarily_ perhaps.”

“But, after all the work you put into it, it should be standing strong.” Kara frowned.

“A company can only last so long without a CEO, Kara. You’re lucky Lucy was there to call Cat Grant to take over while you were away, otherwise, CatCo would be facing a similar situation.” Lena said, hating the fact that, once again, Lucy was brought into the conversation.

Kara smiled. “I have an idea!”

Lena raised an interested brow. “Oh? And what might that be?” She asked, intrigued.

“I could do an interview on you and all of your newest ideas! The ones that you haven’t gotten around to launching yet, but are on the brinks of finishing up. It’ll go great!” Kara said excitedly. “That should at least boost your sales enough to hold you over until you _can_ put your other ideas out on the market! I mean, you’re Lena Luthor, the curer of cancer! Everyone loves you now; I’m sure they’ll support you.”

Lena smiled, her heart melting as she saw how excited Kara was at the idea of helping her out. “You really are, amazing, Kara.”

Kara blushed and waved a dismissive hand. “I’m just being a friend, Lee.”

Lena gave Kara a sad smile at the word _friend_ … She wanted to be so much more.

 

**XXX**

They’d finished the interview over an hour ago. They had sat, and talked about a multitude of things, and Lena had broken out a bottle of Glenfiddich whiskey.

Lena was gulping the last remnants of her sixth glass of whiskey, when Kara got a call and went to the balcony to take it.

Lena watched Kara standing on the balcony. She looked gorgeous with the moonlight glowing on her beautiful skin. Her pantsuit accentuated all of her natural beauty even with her entire demeanor being professional as she talked to one of her editors.

Lena loved her, so, _so_ much it was unfathomable. She smiled as Kara let out a lighthearted laugh before saying goodbye to her employee and hanging up the phone. She still had a smile on her face when she looked up through the glass doors and caught Lena’s eye. A soon as their eyes connected, Kara’s smile widened, and Lena’s heart beat raced.

Kara came into the room a few seconds later and chuckled. “Sorry, my sports editor didn’t seem to understand that I wanted the hockey game _and_ the football game’s scores in the tribune tomorrow.”

Lena smiled, feeling a little more brazen than normal due to the three glasses of scotch she’d had. “Authority looks good on you.”

Kara blushed and smiled bashfully. “Well, you wear it better.” She said.

Lena liked the way Kara reacted to her compliment; it emboldened her just a bit more. “I don’t wear anything _nearly_ as good as you could wear them.”

Kara giggled. “You’re drunk.” She said.

Lena shook her head. “Not drunk, tipsy. I’m not slurring my words yet.”

Kara smiled humorously at her. “Okay, _Ms. Tipsy_.” She teased. “I’m going to fly you home. Okay?”

“I’d let you fly me _anywhere_.” Lena flirted.

Kara chuckled and shook her head. “You’re going to regret saying that in the morning.” She said before she supersped into her Supersuit. She then picked Lena up and took her out to the balcony, preparing to take off.

Lena shook her head. “The only thing I regret is losing you.” She said, causing Kara to freeze in place.

She looked down at Lena, a sad expression on her face. “ _Lena_.” She croaked.

Lena felt her tears come to her eyes; she knew she shouldn’t have just said that… but she couldn’t help it; her heart was destroyed, and her tongue was loose with whiskey. “I-I’m sorry.”

Kara gave her a pained look and leaned down, pressing her lips on her forehead. “It’s okay.” She affirmed. “We’re okay.” She said before taking off.

Despite the air blowing against her face, Lena let Kara’s heartbeat relax her. She pressed her ear harder against Kara’s heart and listened intently. The beat was a bit slower than a mere human’s, but it was calming all the same.

Kara touched down on Lena’s balcony and carried her over to the bed. She took her shoes and socks off, before covering her up with her heavy comforter.

As her head leaned over Lena’s, Lena couldn’t help but place a hand on Kara’s cheek; pausing the Kryptonian. “You’re the most beautiful woman alive.”

Kara smiled, “That’s only because you’re probably seeing six of me.”

Lena shook her head. “Three.” She chuckled.

Kara laughed at that and placed her hand over the one Lena had resting against her cheek. “Sleep well, Lee.”

Lena’s heart was thudding; and she knew that if she didn’t say what she was thinking now, she would never have the courage to say it again. “Kara.” She choked out.

Kara, who hadn’t moved, frowned at the intonation in Lena’s voice. “What’s wrong, Lee?”

Lena swallowed. “I wish that I could turn back the clock, and take back every single stupid decision I made along the way that made you not want me anymore.”

Kara’s face fell. “Lena, I-.”

Lena shook her head and took her hand from Kara’s cheek. She felt tears falling down her cheeks. “Don’t say it.” She said. “I won’t survive if you say that you’re with her, because I know that. I’m brutally aware of that. I just thought that you should know where I stand.”

Kara clenched her jaw and scrunched her face into an expression Lena had never seen on Kara’s gorgeous face, and Lena hated herself for putting it there. But when she was about to apologize; Kara spoke.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Lee.” She said before zooming across the room and leaving two ibuprofen and a glass of water on Lena’s bed stand.

Lena fought back tears and nodded. “Right. Yeah, see you tomorrow, Kara.”

As she watched Kara walk over to her balcony, and fly home to Lucy, Lena’s heart finally exploded, and she burst into a fit of tears.

She should have kept her mouth shut.  
She should have pretended to be okay.  
She shouldn’t have expected anything to come of her confession.

“I’m so stupid.” She cried out. “So, so, _so_ stupid!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you think this is going to cause problems between Lena and Kara?


	30. Chapter 30

Lena woke the next morning with the most massive migraine; something that she hadn’t experienced since her last concussion. She opened her eyes, and was surprised to see that her room was still almost pitch black besides a bit of sunlight peering out of the top of the black curtains covering her balcony windows.

She smiled as her heart fluttered, she knew exactly who was to thank for that unexpected relief. Kara always took care of her, no matter how badly Lena screwed things up.

She then frowned and her heart sank to her stomach as she remembered that she _had_ screwed up… _Majorly_ , in fact.

She’d been an idiot and had allowed herself to get drunk in Kara’s presence even though she knew that was a horrible thing to do. Lena knew that if she got drunk, she’d spill her feelings to Kara. It had been over a year since Lena and Kara’s kiss; she should have known better than to bring up her feelings to Kara.

Kara had most likely moved on, lost all her feelings for her, and happy with Lucy. It was obvious that Kara loved Lucy, she was happy.

 _Why did I have to go and make things awkward?! She loved Lucy, not me!_ Lena internally chastised herself.

Lena bit back a sob and slowly sat up so she could take the Ibuprofen Kara had laid on the bed stand for her. She swallowed the pills in one gulp, and then chugged the rest of her water.

She had no idea what to expect from her next confrontation with Kara, and that terrified her beyond anything else. She groaned as she stood up, her head pounding a mile a minute as she meandered her way over to her shower.

She undressed, and started the water, making sure it was as hot as it could possibly get before she stepped under the flowing stream. It burned her skin, but it also lessened the pounding in her skull, so she felt as though it was a good trade off.

She closed her eyes end leaned her head against the shower wall. The only thing she could see when she closed her eyes, was Kara.

Kara laughing.  
Kara dancing and singing like a child around Lena’s living room at 3 am as Elsa sang ‘Let It Go’ in her castle of ice.  
Kara pouting as she asked for a bite of Lena’s ice cream.  
Kara hugging her.  
Kara celebrating when Lena let her win at Monopoly.  
Kara celebrating when she _actually_ beat Lena at chess.

Lena smiled, her stomach flipped with joy, and her heart fluttered in her chest at all of her thoughts of Kara. She decided, then and there, that if Kara wanted to talk things out, Lena would be upfront and honest about everything. But, if Kara wanted to turn her down, lena would accept it as well. She was done pretending to not be in love with Kara. She would admit it, and let Kara decide where they went from there, and she would do whatever it took to make sure that their friendship would stay in tact. She knew that Lucy hated her, so if Kara needed them to get along in order for her and Lena to be friends, Lena would bite her tongue and pretend to be best friends with Lucy.

Lena also knew that Alex still wasn’t her biggest fan after everything that happened, so if it came down to it, Lena would work hard to earn back Alex’s trust.

If Kara needed a bit of time, Lena would bury herself in work to distract herself from the massive void in her life due to Kara’s absence.

If Kara just didn’t love her, but still wanted to be friends, Lena would pretend to not be heartbroken, and work to become like Lena 45… Semi-content, but still productive.

She let her tears fall at the very likely possibility that Kara would not want her, letting her tears be washed away by the steaming hot water that was pouring onto her face.

She knew that whatever were to come next, was going to change the course of her relationship with Kara forever.

Nothing was ever going to be the same again.

 

**XXX**

Lena was seated at her kitchen bar, drinking chamomile tea when there was a knock at her door. She stood up and walked over to it, her heart beating out of her chest.

When she opened the door, she didn’t see Kara like she had expected; instead, it was Alex, looking very upset; causing Lena’s heart to drop.

“What’s wrong?” Lena asked, a bit frantically.

Alex walked through the door and turned around. “Can we talk?”

Lena frowned, but nodded and gestured for Alex to sit on the couch.

When they were both seated, Alex began to explain. “Before we get started, I want you to know, that I don’t hate you. I just… I protect Kara, that’s what I do. It’s in my DNA.”

Lena frowned in confusion and worry, but she nodded agreement. “Of course, I want to protect Kara too. Is she in trouble?”

Alex bit her lip and shook her head. “No, but… I’m worried about her.”

Lena frowned; if Alex was worried about Kara, something serious was wrong, and that knowledge twisted her stomach. “What’s going on? How can I help?”

Alex let out a slow breath. “I don’t know how to say this without sounding like a bitch; so I’m going to say it, and then try my best to explain _why_ I’m going to say it. Okay?”

Now, confused more than ever, Lena nodded warily. “Okay.”

“I don’t trust you with my sister’s heart, and I need you to back off,” Alex stated.

Lena’s heart shattered. Without Alex’s approval, even if Kara felt the same way, there was no hope for Lena to get a chance to be with her. Kara would never date someone Alex disapproved of. “W-what?” She asked, in utter heartache.

Alex sighed. “You’re a decent person; I’m not even remotely implying that you aren’t… You _cured_ _cancer_ for Christ’s sake! That alone should tell the entire universe that you are good. But, when it comes to Kara, you’re unstable, and Kara needs stability, especially after all of the Children of Liberty bullshit.”

Lena frowned. “I-I can be stable.”

Alex shook her head. “No, you can’t. You never have been. You rely on her too much, and you make drastic decisions in times of difficulty in your friendship. Abandoning her for three months, pretending to be kidnapped, jumping universes… It’s all way too much. You may love her, and she may care about you, but Lucy is who she needs.”

Lena felt the tears fall down her face before she even realized that they were threatening to leak. “Why are you saying all of this now?” She asked heartbrokenly. “Why not give me the chance to be better for her?”

Alex sighed. “Kara doesn’t know this, _obviously_ , but, for three months before I went on a trip to Earth 84 to rescue Kara, I was helping Lucy plan a party, where she was planning on surprising Kara, and proposing to her. Lucy just told Kara she wanted to have a party Thursday night… Because she is planning on proposing that night, and Kara needs to say yes. She’s happy with Lucy, and she loves Lucy, their relationship is good for them both; but after your confession last night, Kara came to me crying. Because she’s upset; she feels like she’s hurting you, but if she makes you feel better, she’s going to hurt Lucy. She cares about you Lena, more than a person with a significant other should care about someone else, but she still loves Lucy, and she’s _with_ Lucy…  and I believe that the only way she’d leave Lucy for you is out of guilt. So, when she comes to talk to you about your feelings today, I need you to deny them. I need you to say that you were just a drunken mess and saying things you didn’t even mean.”

Lena let out a sob, her bottom lip quivering. Everything that Alex had just said devastated her. But the most gut-wrenching thing Alex had informed her of was that Lena had caused Kara to cry. “I-I made her _cry_?”

Alex smiled sympathetically and took Lena’s hand. “You were drunk, Lena. You didn’t mean to say it, I’m sure. I know what you said was _true_ , but I know you didn’t _mean_ to say it.”

Lena nodded, she looked down at her feet, her body wracking with sobs. “All I do is cause her pain.” She whispered. “You’re right.” She admitted in pure devastation. “I’ve always known that I don’t deserve her, but…” She sighed through her tears and shook her head in dejection. “For some reason, I always hoped. Even after seeing all the worlds where she doesn’t pick me, I still let the one, (now two) worlds where it did happen, give me hope.” She swallowed back the lump in her throat caused by tears and nodded as she looked up at Alex. “I’ll do it.” She said in depressed resignation. “thank you for letting me know what I did to her.” She said sadly. “If I had known-,”

Alex shook her head and cut her off. “You were drunk; I’m sure if you had been sober, you would have never told her. I’m not mad at you, nor is she.”

Lena smiled sadly. “I still made her cry, though.” She heartbrokenly declared.

“You can fix it though. Everything will be fine.” Alex said.

Lena shook her head. Nothing would be fine without having hope that Kara could love her one day. “So, what is the plan? What do you want me to say?”

Alex bit her lip and shrugged one shoulder. “Just say that you were drunk and that you didn’t mean anything that you said. And when she asks you to the party; keep in mind that at that party Lucy and Kara are going to get engaged, so it’s up to you whether you would be able to handle that; but it would be strange to Kara that her best friend didn’t come when everyone but her knew that Lucy was going to propose.”

Lena nodded her head, her entire soul aching. “Okay.” She forced out.

**XXX**

An hour and thirty minutes later, Lena heard another knock at her door. This time, Lena didn’t have excited butterflies in her stomach or a fluttering heart in her chest; she just had nausea. She wasn’t ready to give up her last strains of hope, but she knew that this was what had to be done.

Kara walked through the door a moment later with a nervous smile on her face. “Hey.”

Lena smiled sadly, her heart longing for Kara’s touch. “Hey, Kar’,”

“How are you feeling?” Kara asked worriedly.

“I’m feeling a lot better thanks to the Ibuprofen you left me.” Lena smiled, her heart fluttering at the memory of Kara taking care of her the night before. “Thanks for that, and for blacking out my windows. It means a lot.”

Kara smiled at her. “That’s what friends are for, right?”

Lena’s smile faltered at the word ‘friend’ she hated that word. “Right.”

Kara wrung her hands together and walked over closer to Lena, pushing a stray strand of ravenette hair behind Lena’s ear; which all took Lena’s breath away. She leaned into Kara’s touch and waited for Kara to speak. “So, um… about what you said last night.” Kara started with a tender smile.

And instantly, Lena’s heart plummeted, and she remembered everything that Alex had informed her of. Regardless of how much this all was going to destroy Lena, all that mattered was Kara’s happiness; and if in order for Kara to be happy and in a healthy relationship, Lena had to lie, she would. “Oh!” Lena pulled back, trying to act as unaffected as possible. “Right, well that was obviously my drunkenness.” Lena forced a laugh out and waved a dismissive hand.

Kara’s face fell. “What?”

Lena nodded. “Well, it’s been passed a year now since anything romantic happened. I’ve moved on. You have as well, though.”

Kara furrowed her brow. “Why are you lying?” She asked as she walked over to Lena once more.

Lena backed away, and Kara’s face fell as she did so, breaking Lena’s heart in the process. But Lena knew her resolve would crumble if Kara touched her in any way; and she had to keep the lie going… for the rest of her life. Kara’s deserved to be happy with Lucy. “Why would I lie about this?” Lena asked, trying to deflect the question.

Kara shook her head and opened out her arms in an exasperated gesture. “I don’t know!” She said. “That’s why I’m asking you.”

Lena’s heart ached. “I’m not lying Kara, I don’t- I don’t have those feelings for you.”

Kara shook her head. “Lena, you don’t have to do this. You don’t have to lie, I understand, we-,”

Lena sighed, she hit her breaking point and with a furious amount of overwhelming built up heart ache and anger, she snapped at Kara. “I DON’T LOVE YOU!” She lied, tearing her soul in two.

Kara snapped back as if she’d been hit; a look of pure shock and… (sadness?) on her face. “O-okay. Sorry.” She said in a still-small voice before turning towards the door.

Lena’s stomach dropped. “ _Kara_ …”

There was no response; Kara had already left.

 

**XXX**

Wednesday afternoon, there was a knock on Lena’s office door. Lena took marked her spot on her file and looked up. “Come in!” she yelled.

The door opened, and Kara walked in with a Big Belly Burgers take-out bag in her hand. “Hey.” She said nervously.

Lena smiled, she was happy to see Kara, regardless of what their relationship was like at the moment. “Kara! I’m so happy to see you. I was worried that I might not see you for a while.”

Kara smiled tentatively and nodded as she sat at the chair across from Lena at her desk. “I don’t like how we left things, Monday.”

Lena frowned. “Neither do I. I hate yelling at you.”

Kara’s bottom lip twitched downward. “I’m sorry I pushed you.” She said. “I just… I thought that maybe you were pretending to not have meant what you said because you thought I’d be angry or something; and now I realize that I was wrong, and I just want you to know that from now on, I will not push you like that.”

Lena’s stomach twisted; she hated that she manipulated Kara into apologizing for something she didn’t even do wrong, but she had to play along. Lena shook her head. “You don’t have to apologize. I’m the one that should be sorry. I snapped on you for no reason.”

Kara shook her head. “I _did_ push you, and I accused you of lying… That was extremely rude of me.”

Lena sighed. If Kara had been wrong, it would have been rude of her to do, but in this case… Kara had been right. “How about… we move past it? I think it’s time we have a break from drama and sorrow. Don’t you?”

Kara smiled and nodded as she took a bite of her sandwich.

They ate in silence for a while, but once Kara was done with her three burgers (and Lena was half-way finished with her one), Lena finally decided to speak. “I’m really happy for you and Lucy.” She lied; staking a knife through her own heart. “YOu seem really happy together.”

Kara smiled, but looked away from Lena. “She’s really amazing.” She stated. “BY the way, we’re throwing a little party tomorrow night if you want to come? It’s at our place at 5.”

Lena’s stomach dropped once more, but she remembered what Alex had said about it seeming suspicious if Lena didn’t come. So, she nodded, knowing that this entire situation might actually kill her. “Of Course!” Lena said with a forced smile. “It has booze, right?”

Kara giggled and threw a pickle that she had dropped on the desk at Lena. “You don’t need anymore booze. Alcohol apparentlyt makes you profess your love to people.”

Lena smiled, and tried nott o let the pain set in. “Well, as long as I stay away from the good stuff I should be fine.” She teased.

Kara shook her head but laughed along with Lena. “I’ll see you there then?” She asked.

Lena nodded, her heart burning with dread. “Of course! I never miss your parties.”

Kara beamed at her. “I can’t wait!”

 _I can._ Lena thought melancholily as she watched Kara walk out of her office.

 

**XXX**

It was the night of the party, Kara, Lucy, Alex, Brainy, Nia, Eve, three reporters from CatCo, some of Lucy’s friends form work, and a few DEO Agents, and J’onn were all mingling about, laughing and talking, while Lena sat in the corner, drinking her third glass of wine. Kara and Lena had talked for a while, and then Alex had pulled her away… Which left Lena all to her lonesome.

Lena hated being there, hated what was about to happen, and hated Alex for telling her about it in advance because now it just made it all the more dreaded.

“Are you excited?” A familiar voice rang from behind her.

Lena sighed. Her heart was aching more severely than she’d ever experienced. “That’s not the word I’d used to describe it, but sure.” She answered.

Eve came into view and smiled sympathetically. “I’m sorry.” She said. “I know how much you love her.”

Lena looked pensively at her glass of wine, avoiding eye contact as she swirled it and nodded. “Yes, well… It was only just a fantasy. Nothing could have ever come of it. I’m a Luthor, after all.”

Eve rose her brow. “A Luthor that cured cancer, I believe.”

Lena chuckled sadly and nodded. “Yes. True, but that doesn’t instantly earn the love of your soulmate, unfortunately.”

Eve smiled sadly and patted Lena’s back before being pulled away by one if her friends from CatCo.

Lena sighed and took another sip of her wine.

Three minutes later, Kara came rushing back to her. “I’m sorry I was gone so long! I’ve been in high demand tonight.” She laughed nervously; obviously not comfortable. “How’s the wine taste?”

Lena smiled. “Marvelous.” She said. “The party is going well! I’m impressed; I never took Kara Danvers as the party type.”

Kara laughed tentatively. “I’m not normally. But, Lucy was really excited about the idea, so I figured ‘why not?’ You know?”

Lena shook her head. She didn’t know, because if she had planned on proposing to Kara (which he had fantasized about a thousand times.) She would have done it in a more toned down, less public setting where Kara would actually feel comfortable; because from what Lena could tell, Kara was the opposite of comfortable at that current moment. “Of you don’t like huge parties, you shouldn’t be pressured into having them.”

Kara smiled confusedly, and was just about to retort, when there was the sound of metal clanking on glass.

Lena’s stomach churned as she downed the rest of her glass and then left Kara’s side to go to the alcohol table and get another… She was much to sober to watch the love of her life get engaged to someone else.

“Everyone, can I have your attention please?” Lucy announced.

Lena watched the whole thing.

Kara looked at Lucy questioningly; Lucy walked through a split crowd straight to Kara. Lucy getting down on one knee as a wide-eyed Kara stood in shock.

“Kara Danvers, the moment I laid eyes on you, I knew you were going to be an integral part of my life.” Lucy began

Lena held her breath and hoped to Rao that this would all be over sooner rather than later.

Lucy opened the blue velvet ring box and offered Kara the massive diamond ring. “I know we’ve had our trials and tribulations. But you make me happy, Kara. You make me feel loved, and I want to do the same to you. So, Kara Danvers, will you please do me the honor of becoming my wife?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you think Kara will say yes?


	31. Chapter 31

Lena stood silent like the rest of the crowd as she held her breath and watched Kara stand with utter shock on her face.

Lena’s heart was thudding in her chest; she was begging any deity out there that the floor would swallow her whole. She didn’t want to hear Kara agree to marry someone else. She couldn’t handle it; she was already on the verge of breaking.

After what felt like an eternity of Lucy down on one knee, smiling up at Kara like she was her world, Kara nodded her head. “Yes! Of course.” She said, smiling down at her new fiancée.

Lena let out a shaky breath and then chugged the rest of her wine… She felt like dying.

The entire room erupted with cheer and applause. Everyone was happy for them, everyone but Lena, that was. She clapped, of course she clapped, but she also fought to keep her tears at bay.

She then realized, that she was the next Lena to be doomed to a life of watching Kara love and cherish someone other than her. It stung, that after everything she went through, everything she fought for, everything she lost… was all in vain.

But, Kara was going to be happy, she was going to have a good life with Lucy, and that’s all that mattered. No matter how badly it hurt Lena, Kara’s happiness would always come first.

She waited in line to hug the happy couple in congratulations, even though her heart felt like it had been ripped from her chest and then danced on. She watched heartbrokenly as friend after friend hugged and congratulated both Lucy and Kara on the engagement.

Finally, it was her turn to hug Kara, and when she did so, she bit back a sob. This was going to be the most excruciating thing she’d ever go through.

 

**XXX**

The next morning, Lena was sitting on her couch, trying as hard as possible to not get on social media; because she knew, that all she’d see was all of Kara’s friends and family congratulating her on the engagement… An engagement that Lena was still trying to process twelve hours later.

The realization that she was going to have to sit back and watch as Kara vowed to love someone else until her dying breath, was eating away at Lena’s core. Her heart was completely destroyed; there was nothing left of it, and her soul was torn in two and fighting a losing battle to piece itself back together.

But, then she reminded herself that this was all for Kara. That this was what was going to make Kara happy, and that staying silent is the only way to achieve that; and she remembered why it was all worth it. She’d saw off her arm if it meant that Kara would find happiness, so this was well worth the agony she was feeling.

She watched the mindless show for a while, before she received a text.

Lena smiled despite herself when she saw who the sender was.

 **Kara:** _Hey :) You up?_

Lena pondered on whether to respond or not; but regardless of how painful it was to be around Kara, it was even more painful ignoring her. Her heart always craved Kara’s presence.

 **Lena:** _It’s ten, Kara. Of course, I’m up. ;)_

 **Kara:** _Right, right. I always forget that you insist on being up before the sun has even started to appear. ;P_

Lena laughed, and shook her head in adoration.

 **Lena:** _Of course, I do, don’t you know the early bird catches the worm?_

 **Kara:** _Lucky for me, I hate worms. They’re creepy and gross. They remind me of Snapper._

Lena laughed out boisterously that time. Only Kara could make her both heartbroken but smiling all at once.

 **Lena:** _Now that you mention it, I do see the resemblance._

 **Kara:** _I know right!? It’s uncanny!_

Lena smiled, and was about to respond when the bubble popped up notifying her that Kara was typing again. She waited patiently, and within thirty seconds, another text popped up on her screen.

 **Kara:** _Can I swing by? I wanted to talk to you about a few things before I head over to CatCo._

Lena’s heart fluttered at the thought of seeing Kara.

 **Lena:** _Of course!_

Ten seconds later, Supergirl landed on Lena’s balcony. Lena smiled, despite everything, seeing Kara would always bring her joy.

“Wow, you took forever.” She teased.

Kara rolled her eyes playfully. “Sorry, traffic was _terrible_ ” She joked.

Lena laughed and shook her head as she gestured for Kara to take a seat next to her. As Kara sat down, Lena spoke. “I’m sure it was.”

Kara smiled at her with so much care in her eyes that it took Lena’s breath away. “So, I wanted to ask you something.”

Lena nodded. “I inferred that from your texts.” She chuckled, but when she saw Kara’s nervous behavior, she frowned and became serious. She wanted Kara to feel comfortable enough to talk to her about anything. She maneuvered herself so that she was sitting sideways on the couch, facing Kara completely, and took Kara’s hand in her own. “What is it?”  She asked. “You can talk to me about anything, Kara. You’re my best friend.”

Kara smiled tentatively and gently squeezed Lena’s hand. “Well, um…” She sighed and shook her head. “I don’t know, last night at the party, you seemed… Off. I thought maybe it was because you hate parties too, but… even after Lucy proposed, you weren’t perky or excited. You were almost indifferent to the whole situation, even when you came up to hug us. I mean, I always try to avoid listening to people’s conversations, or heartbeats, but after you started acting strange, I did listen in on your heart rate just to make sure that you were okay, and it was beating erratically. So, I was wondering if you don’t think Lucy and I are a fit?”

Lena’s stomach churned. Kara _had_ noticed that Lena wasn’t acting like herself. She knew that Lucy was who Kara wanted, and even though she wanted to say that no she didn’t think Lucy was a good fit for Kara because she did a half-assed proposal, in an environment that Kara was uncomfortable in, she couldn’t say it. Kara was in love, and whether Lena said she approved of their upcoming union or not, Kara was going to marry her. “What? _No_! Of course, I think you fit! You’re happy and in love. Why wouldn’t I support you two? I just had too much to drink.”

Kara frowned. “Yeah… That’s been your excuse a lot lately.”

Lena’s already mutilated heart ached a little more when she saw the sadness in Kara’s eyes. “Kara, I-,” She hesitated, not knowing exactly what to say. She then deflated in defeat and sighed sadly. “I’m sorry.” She apologized. “I shouldn’t have drank so much last night. I should have celebrated more with you. I didn’t mean to ruin your night.”

Kara shook her head. “I didn’t say that you ruined it.” She said. “You don’t have to apologize. You were still there, you still celebrated. It just didn’t feel like your heart was actually in it, and I wanted to know why. Alcohol does explain it, I guess.”

Lena smiled halfheartedly as her heart  yearned to tell Kara the truth, to ask her one last time to end it all with Lucy and give Lena the chance she’d been so desperately wanting all these years. “I love you, Kara, and I want you to be happy. If Lucy makes you happy, then of course I want you to be with her.” She said, knowing that her fate was sealed… There was no more hope for her.

Kara smiled. “Really?”

Lena forced another smile to her lips and nodded. “Of course.”

Kara beamed. “Oh my gosh, that’s amazing to hear!” She said excitedly… but something was different, instead of seeing pure happiness on Kara’s face, it almost seemed... diluted with something else. Something Lena couldn’t make out. “Because I wanted to ask you something!”

Lena’s smile faltered, but she nodded. “Of course! Ask away!”

Kara bit her lip and nervously fidgeted with her fingers. “I- I was wondering, if… Well, obviously Alex is going to be my maid of honor, but I um… I was wondering if you’d be one of my bridesmaids?”

Lena’s stomach sank, and she had to force herself not to show the utter devastation she was feeling… because when she had imagined being in a wedding with Kara, she had always thought she’d be the other bride… This was never even one the ways she envisioned it happening. But, while her heart was in her abdomen, and her stomach was on the floor; she forced herself to smile and look honored. “Oh my god! Of course, Kara! I’d be honored!” She lied, while her still mutilated heart set afire with extra agony.

Kara smiled widely and enveloped Lena into a tight embrace. “Yay! I’m so happy that I get to share this day with you.”

Lena fought back her tears because this was never how she imagined sharing Kara’s big day with her. “Yeah…” She croaked. “So am I.”

 

**XXX**

In hindsight, Lena wished dearly that she had been able to tell Kara ‘no’ when she asked Lena to be her bridesmaid three months agao, because watching Kara try on wedding dresses was absolutely agonizing. Lena, along with Kara, Alex, and Nia were all at a bridal boutique, looking at Kara looked gorgeous in every dress that she tried on; but what was worse, was that Lena knew that she wasn’t trying on those dresses for Lena…. She was trying them on so she could wear them for Lucy.

Finally, after _hours_ of trying on dresses, Kara came out in a dress that she seemed to actually like.

Lena’s heart stopped momentarily as she glimpsed Kara in a beautiful lace and satin dress with a v cut. “Oh my god.” Lena whispered. “You look breathtaking.”

Kara blushed. “You really think so?”

Lena nodded. “Yes.”

Alex nodded in agreement. “Absolutely, Kar’! They all looked beautiful, but this is by far the best one.”

Kara smiled and twirled around in it in front of the mirror, and all Lena wanted to do was kiss the adorable smile Kara was wearing. But something didn’t seem quite right; Kara’s smile was sincere, but it also seemed a bit strained. And for some reason, that set off alarms in Lena’s head…. Something wasn’t quite right.

“I think it’s beautiful as well, but you don’t need a dress to look stunning.” Nia agreed.

Kara clapped her hands together once. “I think this is the one!”

Alex nodded with a wide smile on her face. “I think so too, Kara.”

They all hugged excitedly, and then Nia went back and helped Kara get changed out of the dress. There was a weird feeling of awkwardness on Lena’s part as she was left alone with Alex, but Alex didn’t seem any out of the ordinary. She smiled politely at Lena before she pulled out her phone and texted someone.

Lena wanted to bring up the strange way Kara had been acting, but she didn’t seem to have to… Alex did as soon as she put her phone back in her pocket. “Kara seems… _reluctantly_ happy, don’t you think?” She said worriedly.

Lena bit her lip and nodded; she was confused why Alex was confiding in her after everything that happened, but she also couldn’t help but agree with her because that was exactly how it seemed. It appeared as though Kara wanted to be happy, but also wanted to be indifferent. “I noticed something was off with her today as well.”

Alex pursed her lips. “Something’s been off with her ever since the engagement. Maybe she’s just nervous.”

Lena clenched her jaw. “It could be that. Or it could be that she thinks she _has_ to marry Lucy because everyone expects her to. She’s a people pleaser, she’ll give up her own eternal happiness just to appease someone.”

Alex frowned. “Why would Kara think she would _have_ to marry someone? That doesn’t make any sense, Lena.”

“Maybe because she was proposed to in a huge group of people and felt pressured into saying yes just to refrain from embarrassing Lucy.” Lena offered; although she didn’t quite believe that reasoning herself.

Alex shook her head. “Nah, I don’t think so. She knows Lucy would have accepted either answer. They respect each other.”

“What if I told her?” Lena tried nervously. “What if I told her and she changed her mind about everything?” She asked. “You could be right, but letting me tell her would only make certain that you are. Please, Alex. Let me tell her. If nothing else, it will just make things awkward between her and I for a while. Why would you want her to marry someone that doesn’t actually make her happy?”

Alex furrowed her brow, her face full of confusion. “What the hell are you talking about?” She asked.

Lena sighed exasperatedly. “I’m asking you, to let me tell her that I’m still in love with her. Just to see if that would mess with anything, because what if she doesn’t actually love Lucy enough? Or at the very least what if she’s not ready to get married yet? Would you really let her marry someone that she doesn’t love just because you thought that person was better for her than me? Why are you so against me telling her when I could possibly make her realize that she doesn’t want to be with Lucy.”

Alex looked at her with pure perplexation on her face. “Lena, I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why is Kara holding back on her happiness?
> 
> Why doesn't Alex know what Lena is talking about?


	32. Chapter 32

Lena furrowed her brow, how the hell could Alex stand there with a straight face and tell her that she didn’t remember telling her to keep her feelings for Kara a secret so that Kara could be happy with Lucy? “You have the audacity to stand there and play stupid, knowing what you asked me to do!?”

Alex looked at her incredulously. “Lena, I have no idea what you’re talking about. We barely talk.”

Lena scoffed. “You made me shut up and lie to Kara! You made me tell her that my feelings for her aren’t real four days before the proposal. You made me say that I was excessively drunk when I confessed my love to her and didn’t mean any of it so that she would accept Lucy’s proposal. You said I wasn’t good for her. That I’m too dependent on her. That I don’t deserve her after everything I put her through.”

Alex narrowed her eyes. “I love Kara, and I want her to be with whoever makes her happy. I’m not your biggest fan anymore after everything that happened between you and Kara, but you saved us when we were trapped on Earth 84. You proved that you would go to any lengths to save or protect Kara, and that’s enough for me to know that you care about her. If you love Kara, I wouldn’t stop you from telling her. But, at the moment… there seems to be someone impersonating me, so after this is all over, I think you and I need to talk.”

Lena’s heart thudded rapidly at what Alex was insinuating. An Alex impersonator could be a huge security issue, especially because Alex was the Director of the DEO. This could be disastrous if they didn’t find the perpetrator soon.

Lena was going to comment about the situation at hand again, but Kara and Nia came back, laughing together; which Lena knew shouldn’t make her jealous, but… it did. She smiled through her jealousy anyway, though. “What’s so funny?” She asked, her mind racing with thousands of possibilities that could be the Alex imposter.

Kara smiled. “Brainy.” She informed. “He apparently doesn’t know how to flirt.”

 

**XXX**

An hour later, Lena paced her L-Corp office frantically. She needed to know who the Alex impersonator was immediately. Not only could this imposter be dangerous to the world as they had unlimited access to the DEO, but they also could be dangerous to _Kara_ because they were impersonating the most important person in Kara’s life, and could easily get close to her.

She was chewing on her nail, walking from wall to wall, and thinking of all t he possible parties that could be the fake-Alex, when her office door opened, and Alex stepped in.

Lena looked up and sighed in relief. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

Alex shrugged. “Well, when you find out that someone is wearing your face and pretending to be you to others, it’s usually a sign that you should be proactive about it.”

Lena laughed humorlessly. “Just wait until Kara fings out… She won’t let you out of her sight.”

Alex shook her head. “We can’t get her involved. The more people that know, the more likely the imposter will find out that we know, and the more dangerous the situation could get. Right now, we want to prevent the phony me from knowing that we’re onto them.”

Lena bit her lip. “But if Kara doesn’t know that there is a fake you roaming around, she could be in danger.”

Alex shook her head. “She’ll be in more danger if she let’s onto them that she knows. Because let’s face it, she’s a terrible liar, and the impersonator seems to know Kara quite well, so if she encounters the fake Alex, and she knows that it isn’t me, she’s going to act differently, they’ll catch onto that, and they might end up hurting her. She’s in danger either way, but from what we can tell, whoever is pretending to be me isn’t after Kara… So far, all we can tell is that they want Kara to end up with Lucy… Which makes _Lucy_ our prime suspect, even though I really don’t believe that she would ever do such a thing.”

Lena frowned, Kara and Lucy were together the morning that the fake Alex came to her house. She shook her head. “It wasn’t Lucy.” She declared. “The morning that the fake you came to see me, Kara and Lucy were together.”

Alex frowned. “Well… Then I have no idea who it could be.”

Lena snapped her fingers. “J’onn is a shape shifter, yes? Couldn’t it be him?”

“J’onn would never do that.” Alex asserted. “He’s a passivist now.”

Lena sighed. “I suppose that I could check my security tapes. Perhaps they were dumb enough to use an image inducer in the hallway before knocking on my door?”

Alex nodded. “Yeah, yeah. That could be a good starting point. We could track all of their movements from there. Even if they didn’t shapeshift in the hallway, we could track their movements all the way through town and we might be able to catch them on CCTV.”

Lena smiled victoriously and nodded. They had a start. “I need a way to know for sure whether you’re the real Alex or not from here on out. Just in case the imposter ever returns.”

Alex bit the inside of her cheek and stared pensively at the floor. “Do you have some sort of watch or bracelet that I could wear until this whole ordeal is over with?” She asked.

Lena thought for a moment and then smiled. “I have an extra watch in my desk. Just in case I forget to wear one in to work.” She said excitedly as she walked over to her desk and opened her drawer. She pulled out the watch and walked over to Alex, putting it on her right wrist. “Don’t take this off or put this on your other wrist. If it’s off or on the wrong wrist I will instantly think that it isn’t you.”

Alex nodded. “Alright. Hopefully we won’t draw too much suspicion to ourselves. It’s been quite a while since the imposter did anything… at least that we know of, so maybe they’re done meddling, or maybe they’re gone?”

Lena clenched her jaw as she realized something and dread instantly filled her. She walked over to her desk and opened an empty word document on her laptop. She then made a hushing gesture to Alex and the motioned for her to come stand next to her.

Alex looked at her quizzically and then began to type on the word document.

_Or, maybe they have everyone we know bugged and is listening in to us all, and since everything is going to their plan, they aren’t doing anything… but maybe as soon as they hear something they don’t like, they may begin to stir up trouble again._

Alex’s eyes went wide but she nodded. She then began to type.

_Holy shit, Lena. You might be right! Because how else did they know you confessed your feelings to her? How else did they know about the proposal? They have to be listening, and they have to be close by._

Lena nodded and smiled. She knew exactly what she had to do.

“You’re right, Alex. It seems like the imposter was a one trick pony. They’re definitely gone now; it’s been over three months.” Lena said, winking at AIex to let her know that she was setting up a trap. “I think that I’m going to go straight over to Kara’s after work tonight and tell her how I feel. I mean, you have no idea how painful this is, Alex. Seeing her with Lucy and knowing that there still might be a sliver of a chance that she might have feelings for me is unbearable. I don’t care if Kara might be a bit more in danger, she’s Supergirl. The imposter can’t hurt her. I don’t know why we’re flipping out; it’s not like the fake you is a threat to us.”

Alex smirked. “Yeah, you’re right. Here, take your ridiculously expensive watch back.” She said, pretending to take it off.

Lena almost chuckled at Alex pretending to take the watch off. “Thank you. I was worried that you’d somehow manage to break it.” She said with a wink.

Alex rolled her eyes playfully. “Well, I better get back to the DEO.” She said. “Next time, maybe to freak me out over something stupid like this. To be honest, you were probably still drunk and imagined it all.” She said with a wink before leaving the office.

Lena smiled. The Alex impersonator was going down.

 

**XXX**

Four hours later, Lena knocked on Kara’s door. She was ready to catch a fake Alex.

Kara opened the door and smiled. “Lena! What are you doing here? I wasn’t expecting you.”

Lena smiled, wondering how long she had until the fake Alex arrived. “Yeah, I wasn’t expecting to be here either, but… I missed you.” She admitted.

Kara blushed. “Awe, Lee….” She hugged Lena. “I missed you too.” She said into Lena’s shoulder.

Lena’s heart melted at Kara’s admission. “Did you now?” She asked. “Did you miss me enough to pour me some wine?”

Kara laughed. “I don’t think you need any more alcohol, Lee. It’s been getting you into some interesting situations. You should try tea instead.”

Lena nodded. “I suppose you’re right.” She said with a chuckle.

As Kara prepared Lena some tea, Lena started to bring up what she knew would bring the phony Alex straight to her. “So, um…. I didn’t tell you everything about my time on Earth 45.” Lena admitted. Finally bringing up Kara and Lena 45.

“Oh?” Kara asked inquisitively as she stuck her spoon into the tea and began to stir.

Lena nodded. “At the very end, Kara 45 left Lucy 45 for Lena 45.” She admitted.

The next thing Lena knew, there was a loud clinking sound as Kara almost spilled the tea. “ _Oh_?” She asked in a high pitched voice.

Lena found that odd, but she nodded. “Yes, and I’m bringing this up because-,”

Before she could finish her sentence, there was a loud knock at the door.

Lena smirked. Fake Alex had arrived.

Kara super sped over to her door and opened it. “Alex! What are you doing here? I thought you were going on a date with Kelly?”

Fake Alex pushed passed Kara. “I was, but then I remembered that we haven’t decided on whether we were inviting Oliver or Barry to the wedding or not. It’s only a month and a half away, you know.”

Kara’s face fell a little bit, but she nodded. “Right, right. Um… I don’t like Oliver, so let’s just invite Barry.”

Alex nodded and glared at Lena. “Sounds good.” She responded.

Lena watched the two interact and checked the Alex’s right wrist for the watch. Seeing that the watch was missing, she pulled out her 9mm from her purse and pointed it straight at the fake Alex. “Move and I blow your goddamn brains out.” She said sternly, completely stunning Kara.

Kara’s eyes went wide. “Lena! Put that down! What the hell are you thinking!?!”

Lena bit the inside of her bottom lip. “Kara, you have to trust me right now. That person is not your sister.”

Kara furrowed her brow. “What are you talking about? Of course, it is!”

Lena shook her head. “No, it isn’t. They’re an imposter, and they’ve had all of your friends and family, including me, bugged for at least the past three months.”

“Kara don’t listen to her! It’s me, you know it’s me!” The phony Alex said.

Kara looked back and forth between Lena and the fake Alex. “Lena, h-how do I tell if it’s her or not?” She asked in a shaky voice.

“Push on the middle of her forehead. If it’s an image inducer, it will shut it off.” Lena instructed, continuing to point the gun right in the middle of the fake Alex’s forehead.

Kara nodded and started walking towards the fake Alex, but the imposter slowly backed up with her hands up. “Whoa, whoa, whoa, Kara! What are you doing? I-it’s me. You know it is! We grew up together!”

Kara nodded. “If that’s true, why won’t you let me touch your forehead?”

The Alex impersonator backed up so far that their back hit the wall, cornering themselves. Their eyes looked panicked as Kara touched her forehead… deactivating the image inducer.

When the imposter was revealed, Lena’s eyes went wide as Kara stumbled backwards. “L-Lucy!?!”

Lucy nodded. “Yes, but… not _your_ Lucy.” She said begrudgingly. “I’m from Earth 45.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Were you expecting that? ;)
> 
> What do you think Lucy 45's fate will be? 
> 
> What do you think Lena is going to do now?


	33. Chapter 33

Lena’s shattered heart fell. Once again, all of what had happened, and what was about to happen, was _her_ fault.

Kara frowned at Lucy 45 with confusion and pain. “S-so everything… Everything that happened was… fake?”

Lucy 45 sighed. “No. Everything was real.”

Kara stood in the living room, arms crossed, face stern. “Why are you here?” She asked firmly.

Lucy 45 sighed and hung her head. “Because you belong with Lucy.”

Kara lowered one brow in confusion. “And what does that have to do with _you_?”

“I wanted to make sure that you ended up together! Don’t you see? I lost my Kara, and I feel hollow inside. She’s the love of my life, and your Lena caused me to lose her! I don’t want your Lucy to lose you all because of Lena! Lena is a homewrecker and she’ll destroy your relationship too.”

Kara shook her head. “No. I believe that a divorce is an absolute _last_ resort, so if you managed to get your Kara to file for divorce on you, that was all _you_. Lena had nothing to do with it. It also still doesn’t explain why you’re here. Lucy proposed, and I said yes. Unless you were the one that proposed, (which I know you weren’t) why did you stick around?”

“I came here to make sure that you and your Lucy made it to the altar because your precious little _Lena Luthor_ managed to destroy my marriage. She got into my wife’s head, made her believe things that weren’t true, and then made her leave me for _my_ Earth’s Lena.”

Kara glared at Lucy 45 and pushed her harder against the wall. “My Lena would **never** do that!” She asserted. “She’s selfless, loyal, and caring. She cured cancer! Why would she of all things, want to ruin your marriage!?! She’s been nothing but supportive of mine and Lucy’s engagement, so there is no way that I’ll believe that she would intentionally want to ruin your marriage for no reason. That’s not who she is, that’s not what she stands for!”

Lena smiled, her tattered heart fluttering at how defensive Kara was of her.

Lucy 45 rolled her eyes. “You really think that she was going to sit back and let you marry Lucy without at least _trying_ to break you two up.”

Kara crinkled her brows. “Of course she would! Lucy makes me happy, and Lena is my best friend. She wants me to be happy.”

Lucy 45 scoffed. “Really? Because if it weren’t for me, you’d have never gotten engaged in the first place. You would be single, and miserable, and lonely because you would rather be single than hurt Lena.”

Kara shook her head. “You’re delusional.”

Lena hurriedly changed the subject; because from the looks of it, Lucy 45 was going to tell Kara everything. “How long have you been impersonating our Alex? Is she the only person that you’ve pretended to be?”

Kara’s eyes widened and dread swam all over her face. “Oh my god.” She said as she paled. “H-have you ever impersonated Lucy?”

Lucy 45 smirked. “Wouldn’t you like to know?” She said cockily.

Kara swiftly let go of Lucy 45 and stumbled backwards. “0-oh my god.” She whispered tearfully. “Y-you've been... Have you-, did we-…” She trailed off, unable to form coherent sentences.

Lucy 45 smirked. “Yes, and I must say… you have a few moves that even my Kara never did. Your Lucy is a very lucky woman.”

Horror and heartbreak were etched across Kara’s face, but fury and rage swam through Lena’s veins. The mere thought of Lucy 45 taking advantage of Kara in such a way infuriated Lena more than anything she had ever experienced in her life. She ran across the room and tackled Lucy 45 to the floor, taking her completely by surprise. “YOU BITCH!” She screamed before her fists started smashing into Lucy 45’s face repeatedly.

She now understood Lena 84’s thirst for revenge more and more with each blow to Lucy 45’s face. Each time Lena’s fist connected with Lucy 45’s face was revenge for Kara and Kara 45.

Revenge for all the times Lucy 45 made Kara 45 cry. Revenge for deceiving Kara. Revenge for taking advantage of Kara. Revenge for everything that had happened over the past three months. Revenge for causing everyone emotional pain.

She kept going even after her knuckles were sore, but before her right fist could connect with Lucy 45’s nose once more, strong arms lifted her off of her living punching bag.

“Lee, Lee. Stop it, stop. It’s okay.” Kara cooed.

Lena shook her head ferociously. “NO, IT ISN’T!” She yelled desperately fighting against Kara’s Kryptonian strength arms. “She- She just admitted to-,”

“I was being _sarcasti_ c!” Lucy 45 spat out through her bloodied lips. She spat out blood before she spoke again. “As much as I wanted to, I knew sleeping with you would be a violation that was unforgivable. So I never did. Every time that you and your Lucy _screwed_ , it was you and your Lucy.”

A new form of rage took over Lena, and she clenched her fists. “WHAT KIND OF MONSTER WOULD LIE ABOUT THAT!?” She fought against Kara’s arms, and to her surprise, Kara let her go. Lena smirked devilishly before she punched Lucy 45 again. “You evil bitch! No wonder Kara 45 left you! You’re a disgrace!”

At that point, Lucy 45 swung in a weak attempt to hit Lena, but she missed by a mile, and all Lena could do was laugh. She walked back over to Kara and rubbed her back soothingly. “Are you okay?” She asked.

Kara shook her head. “I truly don’t know what I am anymore.” She said honestly. “Right now, we need to take Lucy 45 to the DEO. Then we need to find Lucy and make sure she’s okay. Then we have to decide together what we’re going to do with Lucy 45… Because she’s a risk. A liability that I’m not sure we can risk letting free.”

Lena nodded. “She’s a psychopath.”

 

**XXX**

As soon as Kara touched down at the DEO, she gently placed Lena on the ground before she threw Lucy 45 into a cell. She then walked out of the cell room, closed the door, and let out a sigh. “She’s insane.”

Lena gave a light chuckle before nodding in agreement. “How do you think Lucy and Alex are going to react?”

Kara shook her head. “Not well.” She laughed. “They’re both going to want to kill her… Literally.”

Lena laughed and nodded. “Well, if I’m being completely honest, I do as well.”

Kara smiled. “Yeah… and I think she knows it with how messed up her face is.”

Lena looked at her bruised knuckles. She raised them up to show Kara and shrugged. “It was worth it.”

“Oh my god, Lena!” Kara said worriedly, her eyes wide with concern. “Let’s go get some ice on those!”

She picked Lena up and began to carry her towards the med bay. Lena giggled and playfully tapped her shoulders. “Kara, I can walk. My hands are a bit bruised, I’m not _paralyzed_.”

Kara blushed. “Sorry.” She said beginning to put Lena down.

Lena immediately regretted saying anything and tightened her arm around Kara’s neck. She didn’t want Kara to let go… She _never_ wanted Kara to let go. “No! No, please. Carry me.” She said.

Kara looked down at her with such adoration that Lena’s breath caught in her throat. “You’re beautiful.” She whispered breathlessly forgetting for a moment that Kara had super hearing.

Kara smiled adoringly. “So are you, Lee.” She said.

Lena’s heart fluttered in her chest at the compliment and a wide smile spread across her face before she rested her head against Kara’s shoulder.

When they finally reached the med bay, Kara gently sat Lena on the medical bed and hurriedly grabbed two blue icepacks from the freezer on the other side of the room. She rushed back and gently placed each of Lena’s hands between two separate ice packs.

Lena grimaced at the sensation of cold hitting her aching knuckles before she relaxed into it. “Thank you.”

Kara smiled, worry still in her eyes as she stared at Lena’s hands. “Nothing is broken or fractured, but you’re still going to be sore for quite a few days.” She said.

Lena chuckled and shook her head. “Having a best friend with x-ray vision is still not normal to me.” She said.

Kara smiled. “Yeah… I’m definitely not normal.”

Lena frowned at the way Kara said that. “No, you’re extraordinary.” Lena asserted. “In every possible way. You’re magnificent.”

Kara smiled bashfully for a few more moments before she spoke. “You too, Lee.” She said softly, melting Lena’s tattered heart.

Lena smiled, and soon they fell into a peaceful silence.

They sat, basking in each other’s presence for ten minutes, and then Kara asked a question that Lena wasn’t sure she was ready to answer. “So, um… What exactly happened on Earth 45?” Kara asked quizzically. “You and Lucy 45 both said that Kara 45 divorced her for Lena 45, but I don’t understand why that would make her come here. Why does she blame you for the divorce?”

Lena frowned and lowered her head… This was where it all fell apart. Kara was going to hear how Lena coaxed Kara 45 into ending her marriage, and Kara was going to hate her and call her a homewrecker. “Because I _did_ cause it,” Lena admitted sadly.

Kara furrowed her brow and shook her head. She rolled her chair closer to the bed that Lena was sitting on, and placed a soft, warm hand on Lena’s knee. “You can’t cause someone to leave their spouse. That’s all their own choice.” Kara said. “You are not responsible for another’s actions, Lena. None of what happened on Earth 45 is your fault unless you physically forced her to do something, and because Kara 45 is a superhero like me, I can guarantee that you didn’t force her to do anything.”

Lena was confused… Why wasn’t Kara accepting that it was Lena’s fault? Anyone else would have. Maybe Kara wouldn’t hate her after all... “When I was being held captive, I threw a huge hissy fit in my cell, which caused Kara 45 to come in and converse with me. At that point, I talked to her, and scolded her and basically made her realize that leaving a toxic marriage wasn’t a bad or selfish thing to do. Lucy 45 was neglectful, self-centered, and a workaholic. She would go days without speaking to Kara 45 and would ignore her texts or calls. She’d cancel dates when Kara 45 was already at the restaurant or sometimes even stand Kara 45 up. But, through it all, Lena 45 was there, and they fell in love. But Kara 45 was reluctant to leave Lucy 45 because of the vows she had taken, but once I made her realize that Lucy 45 was breaking more vows than Kara 45 could ever dream of, she finally decided enough was enough and that she was going divorce Lucy 45 to be happy with Lena 45.”

Kara smiled proudly. “You’re incredible, Lena.” She said with a tender caress of her thumb to Lena’s thigh. “What you did was good. You saved Kara 45 from a life of pure misery. Lucy 45 just came here because she decided that blaming you for her failed marriage was better than taking responsibility for her own faults and for her failed marriage.”

Lena smiled, her body set afire with desire as Kara’s thumb continued to caress her inner thigh. She swallowed thickly and decided to ask something that had been in the back of her mind from the very beginning when Kara first stood up for her. “Why did you defend me from the very beginning?” Lena asked.

Kara furrowed her brows. “Why wouldn’t I have?” She asked. “You are my best friend. There’s no doubt in my mind that you are good.”

Lena felt a tingling sensation through her entire body. Love and pure bliss flew through her blood stream. “Even after everything that I’ve done to you? How could you be so sure that I’m not at least a _little_ bad?”

Kara gave Lena a half smile and shook her head before she raised her hand from Lena’s thigh and used it to cup Lena’s cheek. “Because when I look into your eyes, I see a woman that wants more than anything to be accepted, loved, and believed in. You made mistakes, sure… but you learned from them, and used them as stepping stones to grow as a person. You work to cure life threatening diseases, you’ve successfully cured the biggest one out there, and you continuously strive to be a better person each day. You aren’t a bad person, Lena. You could never be.”

Lena couldn’t help the stray tears that fell from her eyes. Her heart couldn’t help but tape itself back together again. She inhaled a shaky breath and cupped Kara’s hand that was resting on her cheek. “There’s something else that I needed to tell you, Kara. Something that I should have told you a long time ago.”

Kara smiled and used her thumb to gently caress Lena’s cheek. “You can tell me anything, Lena.”

Lena smiled and swallowed the lump in her throat before preparing to confess, once and for all, how much she loved Kara. “I lov-,”

“Kara, baby! There you are. Oh my god, a-are you okay? Are you hurt?” Lucy asked frantically as she rushed into the med bay… causing Lena’s stomach to churn. She forgot that Lucy 45 wasn’t the end to the situation… Lucy was still Kara’s fiancée whether Lena liked it or not.

Kara pulled away from Lena and accepted the tight embrace form her fiancée. “No, no. I’m fine! I can’t say the same for Lucy 45, though. Lena gave her quite the beating.” She chuckled as they pulled apart.

Kara smiled lovingly at Lucy, but there was still a mild cloud in her eyes that Lena couldn’t quite pinpoint.

 

**XXX**

Alex had been furious when she found out who the imposter was. She had grilled Lucy 45 for an hour straight, but Lucy 45 had refused to give away anything without Kara being there.

So, Kara had agreed to join in, with Lucy and Lena right beside her. “So, you came here to make sure Lucy and I get married.” Kara started. “Only because you wanted to make sure that Lena wouldn’t ‘destroy’ our relationship.”

Lucy 45 nodded. “Yes.”

“Why would Lena want to ruin mine and Lucy’s relationship, when Lucy isn’t a neglectful and selfish partner like you were to Kara 45?”

Lena’s heart thudded in her chest. If Lucy 45 told Kara the truth instead of Lena, everything could go downhill from there. Lucy 45 smirked and looked over at Lena. “Well,” She said slowly. “Perhaps the person you should ask that question is Lena herself.”

Kara rolled her eyes before she asked another question. “How did you know about the proposal?”

Lucy smirked. “Well, when you finally came back from Earth 84, I went over to Lucy’s as Alex. She confided in me, when she thought I was Alex and said that she didn’t know if you were ready to get engaged yet, that maybe you needed time after being stuck on another Earth for so long. I pretended to be Alex and coaxed her through it all then I assured her that you didn’t need time, that you loved her and that you would be thrilled to marry her. Then I pushed for her to propose as soon as she could.”

Lucy clenched her fists, which Lucy 45 seemed to notice. “Don’t be mad.” Lucy 45 said. “I helped you out.”

Lucy shook her head. “No, you didn’t. You manipulated me into proposing to the woman I love when she might not have been ready!” She seethed.

Lucy then turned her body so that she was standing face to face with Kara. She cupped Kara’s face in both of her hands and stared into her eyes lovingly. “Kara, I’m so sorry.” She cried. “I-if I had known that you still might have needed time to get readjusted to life on our home Earth, I wouldn’t have proposed. I thought that Alex had reassured me that you were more than ready. I’ll understand if you want to wait. But just know, that when you’re done working through everything, I’ll still be here.”

Lena’s stomach churned. She hated seeing the pain in both Lucy and Kara’s eyes… She also hated the way Lucy and Kara were looking at each other… It was obvious that they loved each other.

But, before Kara could say anything, Alex spoke up. “Lucy, Kara, right now isn’t the time to have that discussion. Lucy 45 doesn’t need to know what you guys decide, and at the moment, she’s the biggest threat to our Earth that we’ve had in a while.” She said. “Right now, we need to decide what we do with her.”

Kara nodded. “I say we bring Lucy 45 to Kara and Lena 45 so they can choose what to do with her.”

Lucy 45’s face paled. “NO! She’ll hate me!”

Kara rose an unimpressed eyebrow. “Well, maybe you should have thought about that before jumping to another Earth just to wreak havoc on it.” She said snappily, causing Lucy and Alex to both laugh at Lucy 45’s expense.

Lena couldn’t find it in herself to laugh, however... Because she saw an issue that no one else seemed to take notice of. “What if they let her free, Kara? What if she comes back?”

Kara frowned. “Do you really think that the Earth 45 version of me would let her go after everything that she’s done not only to us on this Earth, but to Kara 45 during their relationship?”

Lena shrugged. She wasn’t quite sure, but she didn’t feel like it’d be safe to risk it. Especially with Kara’s safety in mind. “I think the best alternative would be to go to Earth 45 to let Kara 45 know where her ex-wife is and then let her come here to say their goodbyes if she wanted to.”

Kara frowned but then looked inquisitively to Alex and Lucy. They both nodded their heads in agreement and then smiled tentatively at Lena. “Well, I guess you and I are going to Earth 45.” She said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think Kara 45 and Lena 45 are going to think of Lucy 45's actions?


	34. Chapter 34

Lena watched in agony as Kara kissed Lucy goodbye. “Be safe, Kara. Don’t take three months this time.” Lucy teased as she had one arm on each of Kara’s shoulders.

Kara laughed. “Okay. Only two this time, I promise.” She said with a wink, causing Alex, Lucy, and Lena all to laugh along with her.

Kara hugged her sister goodbye before Alex and Lucy left the room. Kara watched them leave, and once they were gone, walked over to Lena’s side. “Are you ready?”

Lena nodded with a wide smile. “I’ve done this quite a few more times in my life than I ever expected, so yes.”

Kara chuckled, her eyes twinkling as they did so, which set Lena’s taped up heart afire with love. She smiled back at Kara, and then opened the portal.

Kara grabbed her hand, taking Lena’s breath away. “Together?” She asked.

Lena’s brain short circuited when she heard that word. Because yes, she wanted to be _together_ with Kara. More than anything. “W-what? U-us? T-tog- _together_?”

Kara looked at her in confusion and laughed. “Well, duh, _dummy_!” She laughed. “We’re the only two that are going through the portal. Who else would I be talking about?”

Lena frowned when she realized what Kara had _actually_ meant. She felt idiotic once she realized that Kara wasn’t asking her out. She straightened her shoulders while she cleared her throat, trying to save what was left of her dignity. “Right!” She said. “Yes, let’s do this together.”

Kara smiled and nodded her head before she squeezed Lena’s hand. “One… Two… Three!”

 

**XXX**

They landed in the middle of Kara 45’s living room, where Kara 45 and Lena 45 were cuddling. The couple immediately turned their heads to look at their intruders, and instantly joy spread across their faces.

“Oh my god! You two finally got together!” Lena 45 said excitedly as she and Kara 45 jumped up in excitement.

Lena smiled sadly; she truly wished that were the case.

“What?” Kara sked confusedly before she shook her head and laughed nervously. “No, no. I’m actually engaged to Lucy. Lena and I are best friends!”

Lena’s heart sank when she heard Kara announce that again, but she nodded in agreement and plastered a fake smile on her face. “Yup!” She squeaked.

Kara 45 and Lena 45 both frowned and looked at them confusedly. “Then why are you holding hands?” Kara 45 asked.

Kara furrowed her brow and looked at their adjoined hands for a moment before letting go and crossing her arms. “We just wanted to make sure we didn’t lose each other in the portal.”

Lena 45 looked at her girlfriend, and they both shared a strange look with each other before smiling at Kara and Lena. “So, what brings you two back to our Earth?”

Lena sighed. “It’s um… your wife.”

Lena 45 stiffened at the mention of Lucy 45, and Kara 45 seemed to notice immediately how uncomfortable she felt when she was reminded of Kara 45’s ex. She wrapped her arm around Lena 45’s waist and then spoke. “She’s my soon to be _ex_ -wife.” She stated firmly. “She just has to stop ignoring me and actually come over to sign the paperwork so we can finalize everything.” Kara 45 said irritatedly. “I’ve been trying to get ahold of her since we separated four months ago but she’s been ignoring me ever since. What does she have to do with why you’re here?”

Kara pursed her lips and side eyed Lena. “She came to our Earth, impersonating our Alex. She said it was so that she could make sure that Lucy and I got married and to prevent Lena from ‘ruining’ our relationship. I don’t know why she felt the need to impersonate my sister, I don’t know why she felt that her intervening in my relationship would somehow fix what happened between you two, and I don’t know where she stayed those three months. All that I know is that she was on my Earth, and I don’t know how much damage she caused while she was.”

Kara 45 stood there, fists clenched, face blank. “What are you and your sister planning on doing with her?”

“Well, at the moment the only crime she’s really committed that I know of, is impersonate Alex. With that being said, Alex is the head of the DEO, so your Lucy impersonating her makes her a huge liability that we can’t afford to let free. So, we came here to ask you if you wanted to come to our Earth and say goodbye or anything.” Kara explained

Kara 45 looked over to Lena 45 and bit her lip. She then looked back and Kara and Lena and nodded. “I do, but I need to grab something before we go.” She announced before she walked over to the kitchen and opened a drawer; pulling out a manila envelope. She rose her eyebrows and smiled. “Let’s go!” She said before she interlaced her fingers with Lena 45’s.

Lena looked at Kara, wondering if it was alright to grab her hand again. Kara smiled warmly at her and interlocked their arms instead; and although that was slightly less intimate, it still caused butterflies to dance in Lena’s stomach.

 “Ready?” Kara asked her in a whisper.

Lena nodded, a smile wide across her face. “Of course.”

Kara opened the portal that time, and together, Lena 45 and Kara 45 jumped first. Then, Kara smiled. “They’re really cute together.” She said; taking Lena by surprise and stopping her heart.

“R-really?” Lena squeaked out, hope rising in her chest.

Kara smiled and nodded. “You can see the love they have for each other in their eyes. It’s beautiful.” She said before guiding Lena through the portal.

 

**XXX**

They landed in the DEO cell room where Lucy 45 was being held. Instantly, Lucy 45’s face lit up. “Kara! You came back for me!” She said excitedly. “Oh, baby. I’m so sorry I ignored you so much, but I promise I will be better now!”

Kara 45 shook her head and raised the manila envelope. “You’re staying here.” She said sternly. “I just came to get the divorce finalized so Lena, and I can move on with our lives.”

Lucy 45’s face fell. “W-what!? After everything you and I went through, you’re seriously going to stay with that homewrecker!?”

Lena 45 was as stiff as a brick next to Kara 45; it was evident that she was scared this was going to backfire and turn out badly for her. Lena could tell that Lena 45 was terrified that Kara 45 would go crawling back to Lucy 45, but Kara 45 didn’t let her stay worried for long. “Don’t you _ever_ talk about the love of my life like that again!” She said as she threw a deadly glare at Lucy 45, stunning both Lena and Lena 45 with the title. “Lena isn’t the homewrecker in this situation. _You_ are! You constantly broke my heart, and every time you did guess who was there to pick up the pieces? _Lena_. Who ate the dinner I made for you and I on our anniversary last year with me when you decided not to show up? _Lena_. Who has made me feel loved, appreciated, and wanted when you refused to do so? _Lena_. You broke us, Lucy, and the only reason I stayed with you for so long was because I felt like I had to. Because I still loved you regardless of how much you hurt me, but I’m done settling for that life. I’m the CEO of a multi-billion-dollar company, and Lena is too, but she _still_ managed to make more time for me than my own _wife_ did. You and I are over, Lucy… Whether you sign the papers or not. But after everything you put me through, after all the pain and self-esteem issues you’ve caused me, after all the times I cried myself to sleep at night because of you, the _very least_ I deserve from you is a divorce so that I can move on with my life, and be happy… With _Lena_.”

Lena watched as her doppelganger squeezed Kara 45’s hand, her face one of pure astonishment and love.

Lucy 45, however, did not share the same sentiment and was instead, crying. “Kara, please. You know you’re my world!”

Kara 45 shook her head. “No, I don’t actually. But I _do_ know that I’m Lena’s world. Because she’s shown me that every day… And you know what? She’s my everything too. So…” She paused and walked over to the Dwarf Glass cell. She opened the tiny slot that was used to give the prisoners their meals and stuck the manila envelope through it. “Sign them and give me my life back.” She said sternly.

Lucy 45 opened the manila envelope to reveal the packet of divorce papers. “Kara…” She cried.

Kara 45 shook her head. “I’ve suffered enough because of you.” She stated. “And why on _Earth_ would you think that I would ever consider taking you back, especially after the stunt you pulled here?”

Lucy 45 cried harder. “I love you.” She whispered.

“Well, if you truly love me, you’d want me to be happy. So, you’d sign the papers.” Kara 45 said sternly.

Lucy 45 wiped her eyes with her sleeve. “I don’t have a pen.” She said begrudgingly.

Within an instant, Kara was at Kara 45’s side, handing Lucy 45 a pen through the food slot. “Now you do.” She said, glaring at her fiancée’s doppelganger.

She then walked backwards, standing beside Lena again, and Lena couldn’t help but giggle. “You’re amazing,” Lena whispered.

Kara shrugged. “I just gave her a pen.”

“Yes, but you weren’t nice about it… and that’s just funny to me.” Lena chuckled.

“I had no reason to be nice.” Kara laughed. “I don’t like cursing, but… Lucy 45 is a bitch.”

At that, Lena laughed out boisterously. “We can both agree on that.”

 

**XXX**

 

After Lucy 45 signed the papers, both Karas went to talk about what would happen with Lucy 45, leaving Lena alone with Lena 45. They were in an empty lab, where Kara was going to open the portal to send Kara and Lena 45 back to their Earth once she finished conversing with Kara 45.

Lena 45 sighed. “You haven’t told her the truth yet, have you?”

Lena frowned and lowered her head with a sad sigh. “I tried, I really did… I even almost did it today but got interrupted. But even if I had been successful, what’s the use? She’s engaged to, and in love with Lucy, who treats her well, and makes her happy. Our Lucy isn’t like your Lucy in the least. I should have just accepted things the way they were a long, _long_ time ago. The only thing admitting my feelings will do now is get Lucy to distrust me around Kara, and then Kara would be distant because she doesn’t want to make Lucy (who has been a saint through everything) uncomfortable. It just isn’t worth it.”

Lena 45 shook her head. “There is no excuse from hiding it from her. I hid my feelings for years too, and it ate away at me every day… Not just because I hated seeing Kara stay faithful to a selfish bitch, but because I was hiding something huge from her. You were hurt when you found out Kara had kept being Supergirl from you, in order to protect you… But imagine if Kara found out, that you were keeping your feelings from her, to protect _yourself_. Regardless of whether she feels the same way, Kara deserves to know… And you never know, she might just feel the same way.”

Lena shook her head. “She’s happy with Lucy.”

“I know. But she might be happier if she were with you.” Lena 45 said. “But if you wait too long, you’re going to lose her forever because Lucy 38 is a good partner to Kara… The only reason my Kara left Lucy was because she treated her like trash, and it was almost impossible to get that to happen. Once Lucy puts that second ring on Kara’s finger, you’re going to lose the possibility of being with her forever.”

Lena’s heart sank. “But haven’t I already lost her?” She asked, tears brimming her eyes.

Lena 45 frowned and hugged her. “I don’t know, but don’t you want to give it another chance, just in case there is a possibility that she feels the same way? Are you really ready to give up before you actually have to? Do you really want to live the rest of your life not knowing if you had a shot or not?”

Lena gulped and shook her head. “No, I don’t… but I also don’t want to mess things up between us if she doesn’t feel the same.”

Lena 45 sighed. “I understand that… But you have no idea how amazing it is to finally be able to hold her, hug her, _kiss_ her. To be able to hold her hand, to fall asleep in her arms… It’s an amazing, breathtaking, _unbelievable_ experience that I get to have every day. She’s the love of your life, Lena. Lucy may be the love of her life, but you might be too. You will never know for sure, until you take that plunge.”

Lena wiped her eyes and nodded. “You’re right.” She said. “I do need to tell her. She deserves to know the truth.”

Lena 45 smiled proudly and patted Lena’s back. “Exactly.” She said.

They then fell into casual conversation talking about some more of their inventions, cures, and discoveries until their Karas came back, but… Kara was holding Lucy’s hand and smiling as she did so. “So, we agreed that Lucy 45 is going to remain at the DEO without exception for the foreseen future but only if she fails the psychological evaluation that Kara 45 wants her to get. If she does fail, she is going to go back to Earth 45 and be institutionalized.”

Lena rolled her eyes. “She’s going to pass. She isn’t insane, just driven by anger.”

Lena 45 frowned. “She was psychologically fit to defend three soldiers in court at once three months ago. I don’t see why she wouldn’t be psychologically healthy enough to realize impersonating someone on another Earth just so your doppelganger can end up with the woman you love’s doppelganger is wrong.” She said indignantly when Kara 45 came up and took her hand in her own.

Kara sighed and opened up the portal. “Well, we’ll just get her tested tomorrow, and I will have Lena give you the results through your interdimensional phones. Okay?”

Lena 45 nodded and sighed. “Okay.” She said.

Kara 45 kissed her. “Everything is going to be okay, baby.” She said sweetly. “I’m going to the courthouse first thing in the morning and turning in those papers, and then I am officially free of her. Okay? It doesn’t matter where she is locked up, I’m with you now. Forever.”

Lena watched at the way the couple looked at each other, and int melted her heart. She yearned for that to be her and Kara as well.

She looked over to Kara, who was holding Lucy’s hand and smiling at her doppelganger kissing Lena 45. Lucy looked extremely uncomfortable and tugged at Kara’s hand, getting Kara to look at her. Kara smiled warmly at Lucy and bent down to place her lips on Lucy’s, shattering Lena’s heart once more.

When both couples finally stopped kissing, Kara opened up the portal and sent the Earth 45’s Lena and Kara back to their designated Earth.

“They seemed nice.” Lucy said.

Kara smiled at her and nodded. “Yeah, they definitely did.”

 

**XXX**

Three days passed.

Lucy 45 had passed her psychological evaluation with flying colors, and Kara decided that she would remain in DEO custody.

And Lena had been trying her best to work up the courage to tell Kara the entire truth about what Lucy 45 had done. She sat on her couch and took a deep breath. She hoped that tonight would be the night that she could put everything on the table.

She pulled out her phone and opened up har and Kara’s chat log.

 **Lena:** _I know that you have to be up early in the morning for work, but would you like to come over tonight anyway? I really want to talk to you._

She held her breath and waited for a response.

 **Kara:** _Sure, Lucy is asleep already, and I’m still wide awake so I don’t see why not! :) See you in five!_

Lena let out a shaky breath and stood in front of her mirror, making sure that her hair and makeup were perfect… Just in case.

Five minutes flew by, and before Lena knew it, Kara was standing on her balcony with a wide smile on her face. “Hey.” She said as she walked through the opened balcony doors.

Lena smiled back. “Hey.” She said weakly.

“What’s up? What did you want to talk to me about?” She asked curiously.

“Oh! Um…” Lena sighed, she wasn’t ready quite yet. She still needed a few more minutes to prepare herself for the inevitable heartbreak she was going to endure. “W-would you like a drink before we get to that? Tea? Hot Chocolate? A smoothie perhaps?” She asked nervously as she turned and walked towards the kitchen.

Kara supersped in front of her and stopped her in her tracks; frowning as she placed a hand on each of Lena’s shoulders. “Lena, something is obviously bothering you. You don’t have to be scared to tell me anything. I’m here for you; I want to help. So please, just tell me what’s going on.”

Lena fought back tears. “I don’t want you to hate me.”

Kara’s brows crinkled, and her face showed an expression of hurt. “Oh, _Lena_ , I could never hate you.”

Lena bit her lip and nodded. “Even if I lied to you again? Even if I’ve been lying and keeping a huge, massive secret from you?”

Kara’s face fell. “Have you?” She asked, her voice cracking.

Lena’s face crumpled and she nodded, her tears beginning to fall.

Kara’s hands immediately fell from Lena’s shoulders. “W-What have you been hiding? _Why_ have you been hiding it?”

“F-first, just know that I didn’t want to.” Lena said as she cleared her throat. “A little over three months ago I got drunk and told you that I loved you.”

Kara furrowed her brow but nodded. “I remember.” She said in a tone that egged Lena on to continue.

Lena swallowed thickly and continued. “W-well, the next morning, before you came over, Alex did, well… at least I thought it was Alex, but it wasn’t. She told me to take back what I said and to let you be happy with Lucy without interfering.”

Kara frowned. “Why would you keep that from me? If you thought my sister was violating you, you should have told me. I would have confronted her, and when she told me it wasn’t her, we would have instantly known something was up.”

Lena sighed sadly. “At the time, I thought it was Alex, and I didn’t want her to tell you to abandon me because I know that you need Alex more than anyone else in your life and you would choose her over everything. I didn’t want to lose you.” She admitted. “But that’s not the point. The point is, if ‘Alex’ hadn’t interfered that day would have gone a lot differently.”

Kara furrowed her brow. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, I wouldn’t have taken back what I said, Kara. Because I do love you.”

Kara smiled. “I love you too Lena.” She said with a light chuckle.

Lena shook her head. “No, Kara. I l _ove_ you.” She said. “I love you more than anything else in this universe. You light up my life in ways I didn’t even know existed until I met you. You showed me what it felt like to be valued. You showed me what true companionship is. And just like I said when I explained why Lucy has stayed with you for so long; You have the most golden heart on the planet. You are strong, and loyal, and only motivated by purity. You love hard but protect even harder. You are honest, and loving, and would do anything to protect anyone, especially those you love. You can fly, and sing, and dance, and rap, and light up an entire room just by being there. One minute you can be playing with puppies, the next minute you could be pushing the world back into orbit.  Your smile is blinding, your laugh is breathtaking, and your hugs are capable of giving out-of-body experiences because they’re so otherworldly. You may not think you’re perfect, but to me, you’re everything.”

Kara stood there; a stunned expression on her face, and Lena knew, that they were at the point of no return.

Everything, for better or worse, was about to change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The time has come! Lena's feelings have finally have been heard!
> 
> What's Kara going to say??


	35. Chapter 35

Kara stayed silent, which caused Lena to become even more terrified. So, instead of panicking, she continued to go in depth about everything she felt.

 “When I first met you, I wasn’t looking for love. I didn’t have the time, or energy, and I didn’t think that I was ever really going to find love because not even Jack stayed. But we started a friendship, and you were so good to me, and so caring, that I got swept up in everything that you are. You make me laugh, you melt my heart, and every time we spend time together I’m at the happiest I can be, so I found myself falling for you almost instantly.  
I’m not telling you this to make you leave Lucy for me, god knows she deserves you far more than I do. Especially after all the pain I’ve caused you and all the times I’ve lied to you I’m just telling you so that you know that, if you still possibly want me, I’m still an option. But, regardless of who you want to be with; I just need you to know, if nothing else, that I love you with every ounce of my soul, and I hope you realize how important you are to me. I hope you know that all I strive for is your happiness. Please know that no matter what, I’m here for you and I fully intend on staying in your life fir the rest of mine, no matter who you’re with, I appreciate you, adore you, and love you without restraints, and nothing you could say or do will ever change that.” When she finished talking, her heart was thudding rapidly in her chest. She had so much hope inside her that she didn’t know what to do with it.

Kara opened and closed hre mouth a thousand times over. “Lena, I-,”

Lena shook her head. She knew that Kara was still in shock. She was in no way ready to respond to what Lena had just unfolded before her. “There’s no rush for you to respond, Kara. Take your time, process what I’ve just told you. Don’t say or do anything that could constitute as a decision. Process, think, evaluate… then, decide. But whatever happens, just know I’m not going anywhere unless you want me to, because I can’t live in a world where I don’t at least have you as a friend.”

There was a tear in Kara’s eye as she walked over to Lena and stroked her cheek.; taking Lena’s breath away and filling her stomach with butterflies “You deserve the world, Lena.” She whispered before planting a kiss to Lena’s forehead. “I will think about everything that you told me. But I can’t keep this a secret from Lucy, you know that, right?” She whispered into Lena’s hair as she embraced her lovingly.

Lena squeezed her eyes shut and nodded against Kara’s chest. “I know.” She whispered, but she was in shock… Kara didn’t get angry, she didn’t blow up, she didn’t end their friendship… She had accepted Lena’s confession in stride, hugged her, kissed her forehead, promised to take time to think about her response, and hugged her. Why had Lean been so afraid?

“You aren’t angry with me?” She asked, worried that she was missing something in Kara’s reaction.

Kara chuckled and shook her head, pinning Lena with a small smile. “Why would anyone be mad that they’re loved? I’ll admit that I’m shocked, that I’m confused, but I’m not angry. If anything, I should be angry that I didn’t realize how you felt. I mean, you’re my _best friend_ and I missed something this crucial?”

Lena frowned. “Don’t be angry, Kara. It isn’t your fault. If I had wanted you to know, you would have known.”

Kara nodded. “I should get home. I will talk to you tomorrow, okay?”

“Of course. I’ll see you tomorrow.” She said with a smile, although her heart was aching at the fact that Kara was still going home to Lucy. “Be careful, Supergirl.” She said, offering a half smile to Kara.

Kara chuckled and gave Lena another hug. “I’m always careful.” She said before placing her lips on Lena’s forehead once more; momentarily ceasing Lena’s heart once more. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

Lena nodded as she watched Kara jump of the balcony and into the night sky.

A weight had been lifted off her shoulders now that her feelings were out in the open, but an all-new weight had replaced it. Now, she had to wait… She had hope again, and whenever she hoped, she knew that devastation was just around the corner.

 

**XXX**

The next morning Lena was in her lab doing research on a cure for lupus when her phone dinged.

She smiled when she saw the sender.

 **Kara:** _I now understand why Cat was always in a bad mood… Being Snapper Carr’s boss is exhausting._

Lena laughed aloud at that. Her heart soaring… even after the events that took place the night prior, Kara still had the power to put Lena on cloud nine with just a text.

 **Lena:** _Imagine being James’ boss… That was also exhausting._

 **Kara:** _I’m so glad he moved back to Metropolis after I demoted him. Being his boss would have drove me through the roof._

Lena laughed. Kara would have most likely thrown him into the sun if James’s ego had allowed him to continue his career at CatCo after being demoted, but luckily for him he got out while he still could.

She was typing up a message in response to Kara’s text, when she got a second text… From Lucy.

Her heart started thudding in her chest with worry. Lucy must know by know what happened the night before, and Lena was terrified about what that text message was going to say.

She looked at the half-typed response to Kara’s text and was debating on whether or not to ignore Lucy’s tex… but she knew she had to read it and respond. After all the pain she caused Lucy and Kara both, the very least she owed Lucy was a response to her text.

Lena inhaled deeply and opened the new message.

 **Lucy:** _We need to talk. Please meet me at the loft._

Lena’s stomach churned. This could not be good in the slightest.She was terrified now, because Lucy had the ability to get Kara to never speak to her again, and although Lena knew she would deserve that, she really _really_ didn’t want that to happen. She loved Kara too much to live a life without Kara in it.

 **Lena:** _I’m so sorry, Lucy. I just thought that she should know. I promise to never bring up my feelings again. I will do whatever you want, please just don’t hate me._

 **Lucy:** _This is a conversation we should have in private, Lena. Please stop by the loft._

Lena gulped. She wasn’t sure if this was a good idea, Lucy could easily kick her ass with all the military combat training she had… But Lena decided, that if that’s what she was about to walk in on, it would be what she deserved.

She resigned to her fate and replied.

 **Lena:** _Be there in a half hour._

 

**XXX**

Lena was beyond terrified as she stood in front of Lucy and Kara’s loft door. She exhaled a nervous and shaky breath before she knocked on the door.

She shook her shoulders, trying to relieve some of the built up nervous tension in them, when the door opened to reveal Lucy in a t-shirt and sweatpants… It was the first time she had seen Lucy in anything that casual since the first time she’d seen Lucy in Kara’s apartment. “H-hi.” Lena said awkwardly.

Lucy gave Lena a tight smile and stepped to the side to let Lena walk through. “Thank you for coming.” She said. “I wasn’t sure if you would, if I’m being honest.” She said as she sat at Kara’s dining room table.

Lena sat on the opposite side of the table bit her lip; she couldn’t even find it in herself to look Lucy in the eyes. She was ashamed of how much chaos she’d caused the other woman. “I um… I really didn’t have much of a choice.” She admitted. “After everything I’ve put you through, the least I could do was come when you asked me to.”

Lucy nodded. “Well, I asked you to come, because I love Kara more than life itself.” She stated.

“I know. I know. How could you not?” Lena asked. “Everyone of her friends has been in love with her at one point or another. It’s impossible not to be.”

Lucy smiled. “Yeah… She’s incredible, and that’s why I want her to be happy no matter what that means for me.”

Lena furrowed her brows. “What do you mean by that?”

Lucy sighed. “I mean, I know right now, if I asked Kara to choose between you and I she would choose me b-”

Lena decided to interrupt; because what Lucy was saying was killing her. “So then why am I here? Just for you to rub it in my face?”

Lucy shook her head. “No, if you would have let me finish, I would have also said; but I think that she would only be choosing me because she and I are already engaged, and Kara is loyal to a fault.”

“What are you saying?” Lena asked, her mind swirling with confusion.

“I’m saying, that I know I make Kara happy, and I know that she loves me… but right now, I’m not sure if she wants to marry me. I want to marry her, I want to have a life with her, and someday, if there ever came a time where we decided to have kids, I want to carry her children. And, I know that I could have that with her, I know she would stay and give me all of those things if I didn’t give her an opportunity for her search her heart and choose between us. But I don’t want her to marry me just because she feels obligated to, if you could actually make her happier.” Lucy said, a single tear falling from her eye.

Lena’s heart ached for the other woman. “She wants you, Lucy. If she didn’t, she wouldn’t have agreed to marry you.”

“Well, I hope you’re right, I truly do.” Lucy said with a sad, heartbroken smile.

Lena hated seeing the pain on Lucy’s face. It made her feel guiltier than she ever had before. She wanted to say something, anything, to take away Lucy’s pain, but she knew that nothing she could say or do would ever be able to take away the pain that fearing the loss of Kara caused.

They sat in an awkward silence for a few more moments before there was a thud on the balcony and Lena’s heart began to thud in her chest because she knew exactly who was behind her.

“Luce?” Kara asked confusedly as she walked in to the middle of the room so that she was in both Lucy and Lena’s eyesight. “Is everything okay? What’s going on?” Kara asked worriedly.

Lucy gave Kara a sad smile and walked up to kiss Kara’s cheek. “You are the best thing that’s happened to me in a long, _long_ time, Kara. I want a future with you, I want to make you as happy as you make me, for the rest of our lives.” Lucy started.

Kara’s smile grew, and she reached out to grab Lucy, but Lucy pulled back and shook her head sadly. “But I think you might be in love with Lena too.” Lucy said.

Kara frowned. “Luce, I-,”

Lucy shook her head. “It’s okay if you love her, Kara. I want you to be the happiest you could possibly be, which is why I’m willing to step back, and let you figure out your feelings before we do decide to get married. I want you to taka a few weeks think about everything, and when you’re ready, then I want you to make a final decision, okay?”

Lena was admittedly shocked and in awe of just how much Lucy loved Kara. It rivaled her own love for Kara. She felt comfort in the fact that, if Kara did end up choosing Lucy after all of this was over, at least Kara would be with someone who loved her the way she deserved to be loved.

Kara looked awkwardly between the two women she cared for and sighed. “Okay.”

 

**XXX**

Throughout the next week, Lena and Kara had continued to act as if nothing had changed, and Lena had been perfectly okay with that, but after watching Supergirl get pulverized by a giant arachnoid alien before finally (and barely) defeating on the television, Lena’s heart was too fragile to pretend to be okay with the way things were…  She didn’t know what to do, or how to handle the situation, so she decided to text Kara and make sure she was okay.

 **Lena:** _I saw the fight. It has me worried sick. Are you okay?_

She wasn’t sure if that came off as too desperate or not, but at the same time, she couldn’t quite find it in herself to care.

 **Kara:** _I will survive. I’m very sore though. Thank you for caring. <3_

Lena frowned. She hated that Kara was a superhero… It caused Kara more pain than she ever deserved to have to experience.

 **Lena:** _Would you mind if I came over? I can stop by the bar and pick you up some Alien alcohol?_

 **Kara:** _Alcohol sounds really good right now._

Lena laughed lightly at Kara’s response. She was extremely relieved that Kara had agreed to allow Lena to come over. She really needed to see her.

 

**XXX**

After picking up a bottle of Aldebaran rum, Lena finally reached Kara’s loft. She didn’t even bother knocking, and came right on in to find Kara curled up on the couch, with a slightly bruised face. The sight broke her heart, but also comforted her with the fact that Kara _was_ alive and would be fine.

“Hey, how are you feeling?” Lena asked as she grabbed two glasses from Kara’s cupboard and came to sit next to Kara.

Kara sat up and smiled at Lena as she poured herself a glass of rum while Lena poured herself a glass of wine. “Miserable, but alive.” Kara informed.

Lena smiled sadly and rubbed Kara’s arm. “You were miraculous today. After all those submarines were thrown at you, you _still_ managed to come out on top.”

After Kara drank half of her glass, she placed it on the coffee table. “I really didn’t think I was going to this time.” Kara admitted. “Every time I thought he was about to do one thing, he did a completely different thing. It wasn’t that he was more powerful than me, it was the fact that I couldn’t read him and it almost cost me my life. It was intense.”

Lena’s heart broke at the thought of what Kara must have felt during that fight… and at the thought of what would have happened if it had had a different outcome. “Well, you’re here now, and that’s what matters. I’m very glad that you survived.”

Kara smiled at her. “I’m glad I did too.”

Lena smiled and maneuvered herself so that her head was resting on Kara’s shoulder, taking comfort in Kara’s presence. It made all the events of the day feel a little less overwhelming.

 

**XXX**

After another glass of Aldebaran rum, Kara became noticeably more intoxicated, but still seemed coherent enough to carry on a proper conversation. They continued to talk about the fight, and about their companies, when Kara said something that took Lena by surprise. “I really want to kiss you right now.” She said.

Lena’s heart began to beat rapidly, her stomach alit with butterflies, and her mind swirling a mile a minute… That could be the moment she had been waiting for since the day she laid eyes on Kara. “Then kiss me.” She said through a croaky voice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will Kara do it?


	36. Chapter 36

Kara gave Lena a predatory smile as she leaned in close.

Lena’s breathing became ragged, but then she smelled the rum on Kara’s breath, and she realized that this, was not how she wanted Kara to kiss her. She was drunk, and no matter how coherently she was speaking, the fact that Kara was impaired remained the same and was something that Lena couldn’t ignore.

Kara had pressed Lena down into the couch, and although Lena wanted more than anything for things to continue, she wanted Kara to be thinking clearly when it happened.  She also didn’t want Kara to wake up the next morning and regret what she had done. It was hard, but she put her hands on Kara’s shoulders to stop her from kissing her.

“Kara. Kara, stop.” Lena croaked out through her heavy breathing. “This isn’t how I want this to go.”

Kara did as she was asked, and she pulled away. She said nothing, and instead poured another glass of rum and chugged it down. She then poured another glass and drank half of it before staring down at her half-filled glass and swirling it.

Lena frowned, she could see that Kara was confused, but she still didn’t understand her reaction. “Kara?”

Kara looked at her. “Hmm?”

“A-are you mad at me?” Lena asked in a small, scared voice.

Kara shook her head. “No.” Her voice was slightly more drunken now. It was clear that all the alcohol was definitely taking its toll on her.

Lena felt relief flood her system, but she still couldn’t make out what was going on in Kara’s drunken mind. She was worried that rejecting Kara made Kara’s feelings for her fade somehow. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She couldn’t let herself panic; she couldn’t afford to lose control of her emotions right now. Kara was still hurt from the fight, drunk, and acting strange; it might not have anything to do with what had just happened. “Are we… okay?” Lena asked, looking back up at Kara. But when she saw Kara, she frowned… She was asleep. Lena sighed and shook her head, unable to believe her horrible luck. Every time she thought she might be getting a step closer to Kara’s heart, she took eight steps back.

She stood up and got a blanket from Kara’s closet and brought it back to cover her up. She smiled sadly, not knowing what would happen once Kara awoke and sobered up… But she knew one thing for sure… She’d never stop loving Kara.

 

**XXX**

Once she got home, Lena showered, put on a pair of fluffy pajamas that Kara bought her for Christmas, and then laid in bed. She closed her eyes and tried to fall asleep, but her mind was racing with worries about what would happen when Kara sobered up.

Would she regret trying to kiss Lena? Would she be upset that Lena had asked her to stop? Would she be angry Lena let it get as far as she did? Would this inevitably cause Kara to choose Lucy?

She began to hyperventilate, and tears began to fall down her cheeks.

Had she just messed everything up?

 

**XXX**

She hadn’t gotten much sleep, in fact, she’d gotten a maximum of three hours that night, and all her dreams were riddled with the worse case scenarios about what was going to happen when she finally talked to Kara. So, to say she was terrified was an understatement.

Lena took a sip of her lukewarm coffee and sighed. She was exhausted, she was drained, and she wasn’t sure what her romantic future held anymore. She knew that if last night made Kara decide to choose Lucy, that her love life was over. Because the only person Lena ever wanted to be with romantically, or sexually, was Kara.

She tried not to cry; she tried to tell herself that Kara wasn’t like all the men Lena had been with in the past. She tried to tell herself that Kara would respect her decision not to go any further… but she couldn’t get herself to believe it. In the past, all of her relationships hit a roadblock whenever Lena denied having sex, or doing anything sexual. So, she really had a hard time imagining that Kara wasn’t also upset. Although, she wasn’t persistent like her exes were… She didn’t complain; she didn’t try to keep going. She stopped, pulled away, and took another drink. She wasn’t acting normally, but she also wasn’t hostile.

Lena once again, tried to think what was going on in Kara’s mind last night, but she had absolutely no idea what could have made her act that way unless she was embarrassed that Lena had turned her down after giving consent just a few moments prior.

She sighed, feeling guilty because she hated that she made Kara feel bad. She was about to spiral into a mental tirade of self hate when there was a knock at her door. Her heart leaped into her throat, because she knew exactly who it was just by the knock.

She stood up and raced to the door, not even caring that she was still in the fluffy unicorn pajamas instead of actual clothes. She just wanted to apologize to Kara.

Lena opened the door, and there stood Kara, with a smile on her face. “Hey.” She said.

Lena couldn’t stop herself from spewing out an apology. “Kara, I’m so sorry about last night, I shouldn’t have asked you for a kiss and should have let you kiss me when you tried because I asked for i-,”

“Lena Kieran Luthor, stop talking,” Kara demanded, her face looking appalled as she stepped through the door.

Lena closed her mouth immediately; her heart was thudding with anxiety. Kara’s reaction to her apology completely flabbergasted her, and she now had no idea what to expect to happen, but whatever it was, she was sure it wasn’t going to be good.

“Lena,” Kara started. “You have absolutely no reason to be sorry.”

Lena furrowed her brow. “What? But last night you-,”

“I was drunk last night,” Kara responded.

Lena frowned. “So… What happened on the couch, was a mistake?”

Kara sighed and wrapped her arms around Lena, squeezing her tightly. Lena reveled in the embrace and let it comfort her. She was still a confused mess, but she was at least glad that Kara didn’t hate her.

When Kara pulled back from the hug, she kept her arms around Lena’s waist and only pulled back enough for their eyes to meet. “Last night, you did nothing wrong.” She said sternly as she stared into Lena’s eyes.

“Then why did you act so strangely after I stopped the kiss?” Lena asked.

Kara chuckled. “Lena, I was drunk. I had no idea what to do or what to say after you stopped the kiss because my mind was altered. I wasn’t mad; I wasn’t upset, I was just stupidly _drunk_. You have every right to say no to a kiss, to a hug, to a touch, to sex, to _anything_. I have no right to be upset or angry, and I’m _not_. You own your body, Lena. Not me, and no one has the right to make you feel otherwise. You do not owe your body to anyone.”

Lena couldn’t stop from letting a few of her tears shed. “You really are the goddess of my heart, Kara.”

Kara shook her head. “I’m just a person that understands consent, Lena. And… I’d like your consent to kiss you now… For _real_ this time.”

Lena’s heart stuttered. “Y-you still want to kiss me?” She asked. “But, you’re sober?”

Kara’s face fell. “You think that I need to be drunk to want to kiss you?”

“I-I jus thought that it was the reason you asked to kiss me last night,” Lena answered sadly.

Kara shook her head. “I wanted to kiss you because you give me butterflies. I still do.” She said with a warm smile.

Lena swallowed thickly, her heart filled with pure joy. “Okay.” She croaked out.

Kara smiled and nodded. “Okay.” She whispered. She cupped Lena’s cheeks in both of her hands, causing Lena’s breath to hitch. She started leaning in, and then Lena remembered that Kara was still wearing Lucy’s engagement ring.

Lucy and Kara were still engaged, which meant that the kiss that they were about to have might be nothing more than just an experiment to Kara, and her heart couldn’t take that.

She instantly pulled back and shook her head. “I-I can’t.”

Kara’s face fell. “What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?” She asked in a panic.

Lena shook her head. “No. No! It’s nothing like that! It’ just that, I know you’re still trying to figure out who to be with, and you’re still wearing Lucy’s engagement ring, and I don’t want to do that to Lucy again. I want to kiss you again just… not while you’re still promised to her and I-,” Lena stopped talking as Kara rose up her left hand.

Lena’s heart stopped.

There was no ring.

Lena’s eyes went wide. “Are yo-, You’re not-. _Me_?” She asked in astonishment. “Y-you’re choosing _me_?!”

Kara smiled confusedly at Lena. “Why are you so shocked?”

“I-I just… I mean… Lucy is _gorgeous_.” Lena stated.

Kara nodded. “She is, but so are _you_.” She said, taking a step closer.

“B-but she’s been by your side through everything.”

Kara nodded. “She has, and I’ll forever be grateful to her for that.” She took another step.

Lena’s heart was thudding, her mind wouldn’t allow her to believe this was truly happening. “You love her.”

Kara nodded. “I do.”

“Then why are you choosing me? I’ve caused you so much pain, Kara. I-I-I don’t deserve you.” She trailed off, not understanding what was happening. She felt like the world was playing a ‘comical’ joke on her and it was so _painful_ to go through it. She knew how this was going to play out, how it had _always_ played out. “S-stop it!” She sobbed out.

Kara’s face was pure pain. “Stop what? Stop wanting you?” She asked, her voice cracking.

Lena shook her head. “Stop giving me hope, damn it!” She yelled. “Every time I think that I’ve finally gotten to a point where I can be okay with life, something gives me hope that you might love me, or want to be with me. That we might have a chance to be together, and then you just tear it right out from under me! Just… stop breaking my heart, Kara.”

Kara’s frown grew wider. “I don’t want to break your heart. I’ve _never_ wanted that.” She stated.

“Then why are you doing this!?” Lena cried out. “Why are you acting like you’re not going to run right back to Lucy?”

“Because I love you, Lena,” Kara stated simply. “I do love Lucy too, but I’m not in love with her the way that I am with you. She and I talked. She’s hurt, and I’m hurt too, but we both know that this is for the best because you are where my soul is.  
She’s going to move out, and we’re still going to be friends, but nothing more than that. Because I love _you_.”

Lena’s heart wanted so badly to believe that Kara was telling the truth, that Kara wasn’t going to break her heart again, but she couldn’t believe it. Kara was never going to genuinely want to be with her. “After everything that we’ve been through, all I’ve hoped for, all I’ve _craved_ was to hear you say that, but how can I believe it? How can I be sure that you aren’t doing this out of guilt? Or because you feel pressured?”

Kara zoomed across the room and took Lena’s face in her hands forcing her to look into Kara’s sapphire orbs that Lena could get lost in. “Remember when I told you that you could see the love Kara 45 and Lena 45 had for each other in their eyes.”

Lena nodded.

“Do you see my eyes?” Kara asked.

Lena nodded again, unable to find the strength to speak.

“What do you see in them, Lena? What do see in them right now, as I’m looking at you?” Kara asked desperately.

Lena gulped as she looked into Kara’s ocean blue pupils. She saw a spark in them that had been missing whenever she talked about the upcoming wedding. She saw adoration, admiration, determination, but most of all, Lena saw something that absolutely took her breath away. “Love.” She squeaked out in amazement. Her heart began beating in excitement; her mind was finally realizing what was genuinely happening…

Kara loved her!

Lena smiled. “Y-you’re looking at me the way Kara 45 looks at Lena 45.”

Kara smiled adoringly and nodded. “I am.” She said. “Because I love you, Lena Luthor. I’m _in love with you_. I want to be with you; I want to start a life with you, but most importantly… Right now, I want to _kiss_ you. So, can I?”

Lena couldn’t stop the pure joy that was flowing through her. She had wanted this moment to come for so long. She’d prayed for it, she’d hoped for it, she’d even dreamt about it… but the actual moment was so, _so_ much better than she’d ever imagined.

 

Lena nodded. “ _Please._ ”

Kara smiled and leaned in, pressing her lips to Lena’s. Their lips met, and the passion was so intense that it took away Lena’s breath and stopped her heart all at once. At that moment the world drifted away from Lena, and she got lost in Kara.

It was the most exquisite, life-altering kiss that Lena had ever had, and she knew that she was ruined for anyone else. (Although she had already been ruined for anyone but Kara from the moment she laid eyes on her). Their lips continued to dance together tenderly for a few more moments before, to Lena’s delight, Kara deepened the kiss.

Lena moaned out embarrassingly loud as Kara’s tongue swiped against hers for the first time and she couldn’t deny the absolute euphoria that she was feeling.

Taking Lena by (delighted) surprise, Kara ran her hands lightly down Lena’s shoulders, arms, and torso until she reached her hips sending shockwaves of pleasure throughout Lena’s body.

Finally, when the need for air became too much for Lena, they pulled apart. Lena panted against Kara’s chest.

Lena smiled, her heart soaring as she did so, because… for the first time in her entire life, Lena felt w _hole._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They finally kissed!!!
> 
> Is this finally their happy ending?


	37. Chapter 37

Lena couldn’t believe that it had finally happened. After everything they’d gone through, after everything Lena had done to Kara, Kara was actually holding her in bed.

She still wasn’t sure that this wasn’t all some sort of elaborate dream, but Lena could _feel_ Kara’s chest against her back, and she could _feel_ a strong Kryptonian arm draped over her waist, so she hoped that when she woke up the next morning, it would all still be the same.

“I can’t believe you’re actually in my bed… I can’t believe you’re _holding_ me.” Lena said in awe.

Kara squeezed her tighter to her chest. “We’ve been cuddling and kissing all day, Lee.” She chuckled teasingly.

Lena smiled at the memories and nodded. “I know, but… after all this time, my brain can’t seem to comprehend that this is happening. I’m terrified that I’m going to wake up in the morning and this will all just be a dream. Or that you’re going to change your mind.”

Kara kissed the back of Lena’s neck tenderly. “Why would I do that?” She asked. “You’re my dream girl.”

Lena’s heart fluttered at that. “You have no idea how much I love you, Kara.”

“We’ve got the rest of our lives for me to find out,” Kara whispered.

Lena smiled, her heart felt as if it were brand new. Just one kiss from Kara had been enough for her heart to repair itself after all the pain and torture it had gone through while she was pining for Kara, and she had never been happier. She turned around in Kara’s arms so that they were face to face. “I never want to lose you, Kara. I’m so terrified of messing this all up.”

Kara smiled and pulled Lena’s hand up to her chest to cover her heart. “Do you feel that?”

Lena nodded as she felt Kara’s heart thud against her hand. “Yes.”

Kara smiled. “It’s beating for _you_ , Lena. You are strong, courageous, faithful, and honest. As long as you stay all of those things that make you who you are, my heart will always be yours.”

Lena smiled through happy tears and leaned in to kiss Kara with fervor. Their lips lightly brushed together over and over again, and each time they did so, Lena’s heart fluttered.

She couldn’t help but giggle in between kisses because of the immense joy that was in her soul. “I’ve been miserable for so long.” She said. “And all it took was your love to change it all around.” She whispered into Kara’s neck.

Kara squeezed Lena impossibly closer. “You really are my dream girl, Lena. All I ever want is to make you happy.”

Lena’s heart flipped even faster. “All you’ve ever done is make me happy, Kara. Even after everything we’ve gone through, just the sight of the back of your head brings a smile to my face.”

Kara smiled and shook her head. “You’re incredible Lena. I’m so happy that we’ve finally found our way to each other.”

Lena smiled and nodded. “So am I.”

That night, Lena slept the best she ever had in her life.

 

**XXX**

The next morning, Lena awoke in Kara’s strong embrace, and smiled at the sensation. She would never get used to that feeling, but she couldn’t wait to experience it for the rest of her life.

Kara was sleeping soundly, and she looked absolutely gorgeous. Lena’s heart melted as a smile spread across her face. She decided then and there, that she would do everything in her power to spoil Kara until her dying breath, so that she would never regret choosing her over Lucy.

She snuck out of bed as quickly and quietly as she could without disturbing Kara and got dressed. She hurried out of the penthouse and down the street and went to the Florist shop at the end of her street. She ordered a single rose and then rushed right back to her penthouse.

 

**XXX**

Lena knew that she wasn’t the greatest cook, in fact, she ate so many kale salads and Big Belly Burger that she almost never did. But she wanted to perfect the peanut butter and banana pancakes that she was making for Kara.

She was trying to be as quiet as she could be so that she didn’t wake Kara up and could surprise her with breakfast in bed. She’d burnt the first three batches she made, but she had hope that the next ones would come out perfect. She focused on them and made sure to flip them as soon as the they began to bubble, and before she knew it, she had thirty perfectly done pancakes out of the next 45 that she made just for Kara.

She fist pumped the air in victory and stacked them on a plate. She placed the plate on a tray that had the single rose she bought for Kara in a vase and then walked into the bedroom with excitement swimming through her. Lena had seen this happen in the movies countless times and had always wanted the opportunity to do this for Kara; and now that she did, she was jumping on it.

She walked through the bedroom door and smiled when she saw Kara still fast asleep. Her heart once again melted, and she sat down next to her. “Wakey wakey, beautiful.” She whispered.

Kara began to stir, and squinted her eyes open, offering Lena a sleepy smile. “Morning, Lee.” She said in a sleepy voice before stretching, which took Lena’s breath away… Seeing Kara’s muscles flex like that was life changing and aphrodisiacal all in one.

Lena bit her lip bashfully. “I made you your pancakes.” She said. “And I got you a flower.”

Kara’s sleepy face lit up as she sat up and looked at the tray of pancakes Lena had for her. Lena’s heart fluttered with pure joy as she saw the smile she caused on Kara’s face. She placed the tray on Kara’s lap and handed her a fork. “Bon appétit!” She said eagerly.

Kara giggled. “You’re incredible, Lena Luthor.”

Lena blushed and lowered her head bashfully. “I just want to spoil my girlf-,” She stopped mid-sentence as horror overwhelmed her. Kara hadn’t called Lena her girlfriend yet. They hadn’t determined what to label their… _situation_ , and she didn’t want Kara to feel like Lena was pushing her, especially because Kara had _just_ broken up with Lucy just under twenty-four hours ago. “I-I mean, I wanted to spoil you.” She corrected. “Because you deserve the world.”

Kara smiled. “Well, I’m incredibly grateful. Thank you.” She said before cutting the pancakes and taking a bite.” She hummed in approval. “These are delicious, Lee!” She said with her mouth full.

Lena smiled and couldn’t help but laugh at the adorable sight in front of her. She couldn’t believe this was all real. Kara Danvers, the woman she’d been pining for, for _well_ over three years, was in _Lena’s_ bed, in _Lena’s_ pajamas, eating pancakes that _Lena_ made. Kara had kissed Lena, professed her love to Lena, and held Lena all through the night… It was everything she’d ever dreamed of, and she couldn’t believe it was finally happening. It was unfathomably perfect.

Kara looked up at her and smiled once she finished her plate and chugged her orange juice. “You do realize that you’re incredible at everything you do, right? These pancakes just further prove that.”

Lena blushed. “You’re just saying that because you love me.”

Kara chuckled. “Well, you’re not wrong about me loving you, but you are definitely wrong if you think that’s the only reason that I’m saying that. You’re amazing, and I love you.”

Kara zoomed into the kitchen and put the dishes in the sink before superspeeding back onto the bed. She then leaned into Lena and kissed her. “You almost slipped and called me something earlier; I think we should talk about that.” She said.

Lena felt the blood rush from her face and her mouth became suddenly dry as fear crept into her heart. Had she just ruined everything before it even began? “Kara, I-I didn’t mean to. I just got excited about us, and-,” She paused and lowered her head with a defeated sigh. “This is everything I’ve wanted from the day I met you. I did everything I could to be as close to you as I could be because I love you so much. I even dated James to feel closer to you and your friends, but the entire time I was with him I was miserable. I watched you fall in love with a misogynistic asshole, and then for _months_ after you weren’t really interested in me because I was the reason you lost him. So, I thought… perhaps if I dated James, I could see you more. But I hated every minute I was with him, because he wasn’t you. Then we went through everything with me finding out that you are Supergirl, and then you started dating Lucy, and I traveled through multiple Earths seeing what my fate was going to be like if I lost you. You don’t need me Kara, you could be happy with Lucy, or Winn, or Brainy, or even Cat fucking Grant. There are Earths where you end up with at least of them and  are happy. There are now only two Earths where you end up with  me if you don’t include us. I know I shouldn’t be that concerned about the other Earths because they aren’t _us_ , but it’s really hard not to panic when you have multiple loves throughout the multiverse that all make you happy, and I only have one; _you_.  
If you decided to end what’s happening between us right now, you’d move on with someone else be it Lucy, or Brainy or whoever, but I _couldn’t_ … So now that I have you after everything I ‘ve been through, and everything I know, I just got so excited, and I wanted to make us official, and exclusive, because I know you’ll be fine without me, but I won’t be fine without you. I’d be the total opposite. I wasn’t intentionally trying to rush us, but I _do_ want us to be official, Kara. I’ll wait until you’re ready, of _course_  I will. But that doesn’t stop the fact that the entire time we’re both single I’m going to be terrified out of my mind that you’re going to go back to Lucy, or fall in love with Brainy, or somehow get back in touch with Winn and be swooned, or fly across the country and fall in love with Cat.” She sighed through her tears. “I’m sorry.” She said. “I shouldn’t have unloaded all of that onto you. I’m just… worried.”

Kara looked at her with a pained expression on her face and brought her hand up to gently caress Lena’s cheek. “Lena, there are so many things that I want to say right now I don’t even know where to begin.” She said.

Lena offered a sad smile. “You could start by saying you forgive me for overstepping earlier.” She said cautiously.

Kara shook her head. “Lena, you haven’t overstepped. Not at all. You’re allowed to express your desires and feelings. Communication is what healthy relationships are all about.”

Lena’s heart flipped with hope. “R-relationship? We’re in a relationship?”

Kara smiled. “ _Of course_ , we are. You don’t profess your love for someone and then ask for something casual. I don’t do casual anyway.” Kara confessed.

“So, you’re my girlfriend… and I’m yours?” Lena clarified, just to be safe.

“Yes, silly.” Kara giggled. “And… Lena… I _never_ loved Mon-El especially not the way I love you. I just romanticized the idea of what I could have with him so strongly, that I tricked myself into believing I did. And I never blamed you for him being catapulted into space, in fact, you did me a favor by helping me do that. You saved the world, and inevitably saved me from one of the most toxic relationships ever. He was a jackass, and the only reason I was upset that he was gone was that my romanticized idea that I had of him was over. Seeing you with James infuriated me, not because I was jealous, but because he treated you like utter garbage. I was thrilled when I found out that you two broke up because I knew, from personal experience with Mon-El, that you deserved better than a toxic man-baby. I loved that you were at game nights, I loved that I got to spend more time with you, but if I had known that was the only reason that you were with him, I would have formally invited you. I had always just assumed that you knew that you were welcomed, and I’m sorry I didn’t make it clear that you were always welcomed at my place, no matter who was there.  
Lastly, I don’t know every single detail about all the other Earths, but I can guarantee you that on this Earth, I _do_ need you. I love you, I want you in every way possible, and I’m not going to search out anyone else for love but you. You and Alex are the most important people in my life, and I don’t plan on losing you anytime soon. I love you, Lena. More than you could possibly imagine.”

Lena’s heart soared. She knew that Kara meant every word that she had just said, and it comforted Lena a gargantuan amount, but Lena would always have the fear of losing Kara no matter how much time had passed.

“I love you.” She said through tears of pure joy.

Kara leaned in and kissed her once more. “I love you too, beautiful.”

 

**XXX**

A month had come and gone, and Lena had never been in so much bliss that it was supremely surreal.

Kara and Lena had gone public. The tabloids were having a field day with them, and their ‘ship’ name KarLena had been trending on Twitter for the past two weeks. The newest Queen of All Media and the Queen of All Science dating seemed to be the biggest of deals to the public, and Lena enjoyed everything about it because she wanted the world to know that she was Kara’s, and now they did.

They had also come to an agreement on what they were going to do about the other worlds. They had decided that since most of the Lenas were miserable, Kara and Lena had decided that they weren’t going to rub their love in Lena 26 or Lena 109’s face, but they _were_ eventually going to go to Earth 9,886 and Earth 45 to share the good news about their relationship with them.

There were still some obstacles to hurdle, like Lena’s extreme jealousy whenever Kara and Lucy went out as friends, or her insecurity whenever Brainy even _spoke_ to Kara regardless of his newly established relationship with Nia; but they were still thriving as a couple.

In fact, Lena had texted Kara earlier that day and told her to meet her at a secluded pier on the outskirts of town so that she could bring her a nice picnic and they could watch the sun set over the bay. It was going to be as romantic as a romance novel, and she couldn’t wait to experience it all with Kara.

She had already prepared the picnic basket, and had it sitting in the fridge ready to go as soon as she finished getting around. She hummed happily to herself as she finished the final touches of her makeup then walked over to the fridge to grab the picnic basket on her way out.

When she opened the fridge, she frowned in confusion… the picnic basket was gone. She hurriedly rushed to her purse to take out her phone and message Kara to ask if she had grabbed the basket for some reason, but her phone was no where to be found.

Confusion and panic began to set in. Was she going insane just like her brother?

Before she could ponder more on that her door busted open, Lena screamed in shock until she saw who the intruder was and calmed down. “Alex, I-,” She was cut off with a right hook to the jaw, and she fell to the floor in pain. She grabbed her throbbing jaw with her hand and looked up in confusion at Alex. She wanted to ask what was going on, but the death glare she was faced with was something that froze her with fear.

“HOW FUCKING COULD YOU!?!” Alex asked in a loud, but tremulous voice… one that betrayed her façade of a stone cold DEO Director and showed Lena how Alex was _truly_ feeling…

Heartbroken.

 Terrified.

 Furious.

Lena frowned, she had no idea what was happening as two armed DEO agents lifted Lena from the floor and pinned her face to the wall as they took her hands and cuffed them behind her back. “SHE LOVED YOU! WE TRUSTED YOU! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS!?!”

Lena’s heart sank into her chest. She had no idea what was going on, but it was obvious that she was being framed for something horrible and Kara seemed to feel the same way Alex did or else she wouldn’t have sent her sister and two agents to arrest her. “W-where’s Kara?!” She asked.

Alex scoffed hit Lena’s head against the wall. “You know exactly where she is!” She seethed as tears fell from her eyes. “And it’s all because of you. James was right… You really _are_ a Luthor.”

Lena’s eyes widened, and her formerly euphoric heart shattered once more. Something was going on, and it involved Kara more than Lena had initially thought.

"WHERE IS SHE?!" She asked in terror.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Where is Kara?
> 
> What happened?


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry I wasn’t able to respond to mant comments last chapter, I’ve been super busy and on top of that I have a very bad cold. Please just know that love you all and appreciate your support❤️

Pain was pulsing through Lena’s head and jaw. Alex had done a number on her during the arrest, and Lena was starting to feel it. She didn’t really care about the pain at that moment, though. What she cared about was figuring out what had happened, why she was there, if Kara was okay, and if Kara somehow blamed her for whatever travesty had happened.

She was somewhere deep in the DEO, in what seemed to be an interrogation room, with her hands both chained to the opposite corners of the metal table. To say that she was confused and terrified would be an understatement. All she wanted to know was where her girlfriend was, and what was going on.

Lena had been sitting there, chained in an uncomfortable position while sitting in an uncomfortable chair for, according to the clock on the wall opposite her, was at least 3 hours. She needed to go to the bathroom, her arms were sore, and her legs were asleep, not to mention the pounding in her jaw and head.

She looked around, trying to find a camera to talk to, but spotting none. She’d forgotten that the DEO played by their own rules, they didn’t need warrants, they didn’t need cameras, and they didn’t fall under the Police or Federal guidelines of conduct. With them, there were no limits, and there were no rights for their suspects.They were their own entity in and of itself. They just needed the Director’s orders and what she said was done.

No questions asked.

No red tape.

No consequences.

It was terrifying to know that if the wrong person took reign of the DEO it could end in travesty, but right now it was in good hands, and Lena had no doubt in her mind that whatever proof Alex had against her, was something significantly substantial to warrant the type of behavior she had exhibited earlier that day. She just sighed, she had no idea what was coming next, but she hoped that she could prove her innocence to not only Alex, but Kara was well.

She got lost in thought of what she could possibly be being accused of, when the door slammed open and Alex walked through with a deadly glare on her face, and a laptop in her hand. “You know why we’re here, so let’s cut the shit. How do we fix her?”

Lena furrowed her brow. “I-…” Her heart sank. “H-her?!” She asked in horror. “H-has something happened to Kara!?!” The thought destroyed her.

Alex rolled her eyes and she slammed her hand on the table. “Knock off the fucking idiot routine, Lena! You thought the place was secluded, that much was clear from the texts, but the little hut at the end of the pier had a hidden security camera. It didn’t just record what you did, it also recorded what you said! I tried so hard to give you the benefit of the doubt. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing, I instantly checked to make sure Lucy 45 was secure, she was. I checked to make sure that your mother was still locked up. She is. I even checked Lex’s solitary confinement cell, and he’s still maniacal as always, but imprisoned nonetheless. There was no one left for it to be but you. However, I _still_ didn’t want to believe my eyes because you meant so much to me and Kara. So, I tracked down your movements, we searched your home. It was you, Lena, and no matter how much you try to play the clueless card, we all now know that it was truly you; and I’m disgusted with myself for not seeing what James saw all along.”

Lena’s heart tore at the fact that whatever had happened was clearly aimed at Kara; but she had no idea what Alex was talking about. “Alex, I assure you that however bad this looks, it wasn’t me in whatever video you saw.”

Alex opened up her laptop and began to play a video that would soon destroy Lena’s entire soul.

She watched as Kara landed on the pier that she had planned to have Kara meet her at for a picnic. Her heart warmed at the sight of her with a huge bouquet of flowers in her hands. She sat on the side of the pier, taking her shoes off and dangling her feet in the water. She looked peaceful, relaxed even… which made Lena’s heart fill with dread.

Whatever was about to happen next was clearly not going to be even slightly good.

Soon, ‘Lena’ appeared… in a skirt and blouse that she _did_ remember putting on earlier that day… She didn’t remember taking it off though. Nor did she remember going to that pier. It was obviously not her… _Right_?

Kara turned to face her and ‘Lena’ smiled at Kara. “Hey.” She said.

“Hey, baby. I got these for you.” Kara said as she stood up and handed her the bouquet.

They were facing so that both of their faces were able to be seen by the camera. ‘Lena’ smiled and took the flowers. “How sweet.” She said. “I got you something as well!”

Kara beamed. “You didn’t have to.” She said, leaning in for a kiss.

‘Lena’ dodged the kiss awkwardly, which broke Lena’s heart… She would _never_ dodge a kiss from Kara.

“Oh, but I _did_.” ‘Lena’ said. “It’s about time I do _something_ right in honor of the Luthor name.”

Lena’s heart sank as she saw the shiny purple knife with a yellow-ish tip.

Kara frowned. “Baby, what are y-,”

‘Lena’ plunged the knife straight into Kara’s chest and smirked down at the impaled, shocked, and heartbroken looking Kryptonian. “I’m paying your family back for all the heartache you’ve caused mine.” She said in an evil tone.

Lena’s heart shattered and she tried to look away as she let out an earth shattering sob, but Alex forced her to look at the screen. “YOU DON’T GET TO LOOK AWAY!” She screamed with vitriol. “YOU DID THIS! YOU KILLED HER!”

Lena’s heart completely exploded with agony… “Kara’s dead!? ” She asked in shocked anguish.

Lena shook her head in denial and heartbreak. She cried tears of utter misery as she watched ‘Lena’ stab Kara repeatedly with the purple knife. Blood was pooling out of Kara’s mouth, her body was completely limp. All Lena could hear was the gurgle of Kara’s struggled breathing... she was drowning in her own blood.

Finally, ‘Lena’ stood up and cackled at Kara. “You were a fool to ever trust me, Kara. After everything your cousin did to my brother, did you actually think I could love _you_? You aren’t even human, and I most certainly am not into bestiality.”

With that, she left. Leaving the picnic basket and her phone on the dock.

She then watched Kara slowly, and torturously crawl towards the basket. Groaning and moaning as she did so, and leaving behind a trail of blood. She reached the phone and gracelessly dialed on it, leaving the phone a bloodied mess.

“Lena?” Alex answered.

Kara. “A-alex. S-she just killed me.” Kara stuttered out in weak shallow breaths. “I-I love you. I’m sorry.”

And with that, Kara’s body went motionless.

Alex slammed the laptop shut, and glared at Lena. “How. Do. We. Get. Her. Back?” She asked. “I’m done playing games with you. We found the bloodied shirt you were wearing in the video, in your penthouse. Your fingerprints and DNA are all over the knife that you left in your kitchen sink. What was that knife made of, and how to we bring her back? Brainy and I have been trying fruitlessly to figure out what the component in that knife was, but whatever it was isn’t a normal form of kryptonite. The Krypto suit isn’t working, and we’re almost out of time. Her system is failing, and if you don’t tell us how to save her, and she dies, you’re dying too.”

Lena shook her head. She had no idea how all this evidence was piled against her, and she had no idea how to save Kara.

Her heart was shattered, her brain was fried, and she finally just broke.

She had no idea why the universe hated her so damn much, but she was done trying to fight it. “I-I don’t know, Alex. But if you let me work with you, I will find a way to save her. I love her, Alex. More than anything in the multiverse.”

Alex scoffed. “Sure, you do.” She said. “The only reason you’re helping is that you don’t want me to snap your neck.” She said furiously. “I’ll have my Agents escort you to the lab in a moment. Right now, I’m going to check on Kara.”

Lena had no idea what happened, or who was in that video.

All she knew was that her heart was completely destroyed, and if Kara died, she’d welcome Alex’s promise of death. But she would fight until the very end to save Kara, and afterwards, she would just let whatever happened, happen.

It was blaringly obvious the multiverse didn’t want her to be with the love of her life, and to be honest, she always knew that she didn’t deserve Kara anyway. But she wouldn’t be able to live if Kara died. She’d end up just like Lena 84.

She sat in that uncomfortable chair, in that dingy interrogation room, with the heavy shackles chaining her arms to the cold metal table, and weeped.

Lena could honestly say, she was finally completely broken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who is behind Kara's murder attempt?
> 
> Was it truly Lena?


	39. Chapter 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, the cold that I had turned out to be strep throat. So, it took me a few more days longer to be able to write this chapter than I had intended. But, the good news is I'm feeling a bit better, and will finally be able to respond to all of your comments on this chapter! :) I hope you enjoy.

Two of Alex’s agents guided Lena through a maze of hallways before finally showing her into the lab. They unlocked her handcuffs and informed her of where everything was before exiting the lab and locking the doors behind them; leaving Lena all alone once more.

She knew that she had work to do. She knew that Kara’s life was on the line and at the current moment she was the only one that could save her because she was the only person in the world that knew how to recreate Kryptonite besides her brother. She knew that she needed to pull herself together and continue working on an antidote for Kara… but the only thing Lena could do was cry.

Cry because Kara was in excruciating pain, cry because she was seemingly to blame for Kara’s suffering, cry because Kara might _die_ , and cry because now everything that she’d done to work towards redeeming the Luthor name was destroyed by what was on that video.

She wiped her tears, and tried her hardest to cease her sobs, but her body kept on shaking as her weeping continued. She leaned her back against one of the lab tables and continued to cry relentlessly for so long that she’d lost track of time.

After a while her tears began to mildly subside. Lena tried furiously to dry her face with her sleeves when she heard the doors behind her open and slam shut. She turned around rapidly preparing to face the wrath of an angry Alex Danvers for slacking when her sister’s life was on the line, but what she saw instead took her by surprise, but worried her all the same…. J’onn was walking steadily towards her, and Lena was no stranger to the fatherly love J’onn carried for both Kara and Alex alike… Which meant that if he were to believe that someone had tried to kill Kara, he would just as readily throw them into orbit as Alex would shoot their brains out.

“I-if you’re here to kill me, can you please wait until I try to save Kara?” She asked in a croaky voice.

J’onn stopped in front of her and shook his head. “I’m not here to harm you, Miss Luthor.” He informed. “I’m here because, although Alex did a very thorough investigation on you, she wants to make absolute certain that the DEO has apprehended the right suspect. All the evidence does point to you, but Alex didn’t ask me to read your mind before she made decisive action, and that’s my fault.” He informed. “I told her to never ask me to mess with a human’s mind again after I gave her back her _true_ childhood memories; because seeing what it did to Kara and Alex’s relationship destroyed me…  I never wanted to be the cause of that type of pain again. In any other case I wouldn’t be here, but Alex finally broke down in my arms about this entire situation. She asked me to do this because she can’t _fully_ believe that you of all people would be someone that could do anything like this to Kara. I agreed against my better judgement because Kara loves you, and because of all the times you’ve helped us over the years, so I believe you deserve the benefit of the doubt, and now that Alex is a bit more clear headed, she does as well. It is hard for me, Alex, and even Brainy to fathom that you did this. So, with your permission, I’d like to read your memories over the past 24 hours to be 100% certain.” He said.

Lena instantly agreed. She would take any chance to clear her name. “Yes! _Yes!_ Absolutely. Please, be my guest.” She said eagerly.

J’onn nodded, and then placed his hand on her head. “What I see will be played in both of our minds, so you don’t have to worry about be invading anywhere that I don’t belong.” He explained.

Lena nodded, just ready to let it all happen. “I understand, I consent. Just please, get this over with.”

J’onn did, and the flashes began.

First, she saw herself at her office like normal. Then she saw herself in her lab working on something… something she didn’t quite remember making. She continued watching then saw herself turn it into a knife… The same knife that was used to stab Kara.

Lena’s heart raced. _How can this be_?

Next, J’onn fast forwarded to when Lena was in her pent house. She was still wearing her white blouse and black skirt as she looked at herself in the mirror. She smirked devilishly into the mirror before she placed the picnic basket on the stand in front of the it, placing the purple knife inside the basket. She then took her phone out of her purse that was sitting right next to the picnic basket and then left.

She knew what was going to happen next and wasn’t looking forward to watching it.

It all went by faster than she could fully comprehend. She took Kara’s flowers. Dodged Kara’s kiss. Then stabbed Kara thirteen times in the chest and abdomen. She stood up, laughed at the woman she loved drowning in her own blood. Denounced their love, and then called Kara a beast before leaving her to die.

Her heart broke. It was her… It was all _her_.

She stumbled backwards once J’onn removed his hand, unable to believe that she had truly done this. Her worst fear had come true; she’d gone mad like the rest of her family and hurt the woman that she loved in an unthinkable way. She had no idea what came over her, and she didn’t remember doing any of it but now it was official; it _was_ her.

J’onn looked at her with fury in his eyes. Lena thought for sure that J’onn was about to hit her, but instead he turned and silently walked away in anger.

 “J’onn, I need you to know that I don’t remember any of that.” She said, desperately trying to get him to believe her.

J’onn stopped his movement but didn’t turn around. He shook his head. “If you didn’t remember, then how was I able to read those memories straight from your mind?” He asked, his tone was stone cold, but Lena could tell that he was genuinely asking for an explanation.

Lena tried her hardest to think of one, but deflated… There was no logical explanation.

J’onn nodded, still not facing her. “I don’t know why you did this, none of this makes any sense to anyone. Just… fix it.” He said before walking out and locking the doors behind him.

Lena was far passed confused. She didn’t know what happened, or how… but it all seemed more and more likely that she _was_ the person in that video; that she _did_ go crazy and try to kill Kara. Nothing made sense otherwise, and the only thing she could assume was that she’d finally lost her mind like Lex.  She was heartbroken, devastated… and all she could do for a moment was let out even more tears.

Lena wasn’t sure what the future was going to hold for her, but she was fairly certain that it was going to involve some sort of cell.

She had always figured that this was the way her life would go, regardless of what she did to redeem herself in the eyes of the public. So, although her heart was devastated, and although she yearned for a life with Kara, as long as she could save Kara, and give Supergirl back to the world, she would be able to… _survive_.

But if Kara died? Well, she would die too; regardless of if Alex put her out of her misery or not. There was no possible way that she could survive in a Kara-less world, and Lena 84 was proof of that.

Her tears continued to fall but then she remembered… She still had a task. She may have hurt Kara, but she wasn’t about to let her die.

She had to hurry and find an antidote for whatever was in that knife, and that’s exactly what she planned to do. She rushed over to the knife made of purple tinted Kryptonite and got to work immediately.

 

**XXX**

From what Lena could remember from the memories J’onn played back; it looked like the knife was made out of something strong, and very deadly. It resembled a super-serum form of Kryptonite that Lena had accidentally figured out how to make when she was trying to figure out how to synthesize Kryptonite to fight Reign...

But it didn’t make sense; Lena had stopped when she realized how dangerous that form of Kryptonite was. She hadn’t even finalized its creation when she realized how dangerous their compounds were. Lena’s stomach churned at the thought of just how much damage that form of synthetic Kryptonite could do to Kara’s organs.

 _No, that can’t be. I haven’t even finalized a way to regulate it so that it would stay stable in a solid state. Whatever that is, it couldn’t be Super-K. It would be impossible.  _She mentally determined.

Thankfully, she knew that J’onn wasn’t listening into her current thoughts… That’d would not only be embarrassing, but he’d also think that she was purposely thinking these things to throw him off guard and make him doubt what he had seen in her mind earlier.

Three hours later, Lena had figured it all out.

Even though she didn’t remember perfecting it in the lab, the Kryptonite used to make the blade, _was_ the prototype of Kryptonite that she had been working on once Reign had arrived and started wreaking havoc on National City. She had quickly realized how unstable it was and that it could potentially even be toxic to humans as well because it wasn’t just super strengthened Kryptonite, it also turned radioactive once it hit other liquid… meaning it could turn into a nuclear bomb. She had scrapped that formula and started working on a safer alternative immediately after realizing that... and  ownit was in Kara’s circulatory system.

Her heart filled with terror when she realized that Kara was practically a bomb at that point, but she was thankful that she remembered the basic compounds of the first version she’d made, because with it, she was able to make an antidote that would turn the super-strengthened Kryptonite into a weakened form that would allow Kara’s blood to override the radiation, and turn the Super-Kryptonite into a safer version of itself; leaving it susceptible to the Kryptosuit.

But what was even better was that she found a way to make Kara invulnerable to Kryptonite after this as well. Through the antidote for the Super-Kryptonite, she was able to create a vaccine that would make Kara immune to all other types of low-grade Kryptonite.

Lena let out a squeal of excitement. After this, Kara was never going to be at risk of dying _ever_ again… that was if she survived. Lena’s excitement disappeared when she let herself remember that there was no time for celebration. Kara’s life was on the line, and Lena’s antidote was the only thing that could save her. She rushed across the lab with the two antidote vials in her hand. She placed the Kryptonite vaccine in her shirt pocket and kept the Super-Kryptonite antidote in her hand before she banged on the metal lab doors to get the Agents’ attention. She heard the lock tick and soon the doors opened in front of her.

“What is it? Have you made a breakthrough?” The female agent asked.

Lena nodded excitedly. “Yes!” She informed. “I’ve created the antidote!” She said urgently.

The agents eyed her warily for a moment before the male agent gestured for Lena to turn around; she did so, and let them handcuff her hands behind her back. She kept the vial containing the Antidote tightly in her hands as they ushered her out of the door of the lab and through the maze of halls.

She watched as they passed the door to the interrogation room that she had been held in before they took her to the lab. They continued to walk for what felt like hours until they led her into one of the medical rooms.

There, her broken heart shattered even further as she saw Kara’s pale, skin-and-bones body, lying on the medical gurney with tubes protruding from her body. She ignored everyone else in the room; Alex, Lucy, Brainy, Nia… none of them mattered. She fought the Agents’ hold on her, fighting to get next to Kara. “Kara!” She screamed through tears of utter devastation, finally realizing just how much the Super-K had damaged Kara.

The agents were too strong for her, however, and before she knew it, Alex was in front of her with a cold stare on her face. “Have you found a solution?” She asked. It was then that Lena noticed how red and swollen Alex’s eyes were… This wasn’t any easier for her than it was for Lena.

Lena nodded. “Yes! I just need a syringe.” She informed.

Alex shook her head. “I’ll do it.” She insisted sternly.

Lena nodded, and gestured wither head to her left hand behind her back. “It’s in this hand.”

Alex took the vial from Lena’s hand. “And you’re one hundred percent certain that this will for _sure_ work?” She asked.

Lena nodded “Just fill the syringe all the way with it and inject it into her jugular vein. After about twenty minutes, the Kryptosuit will be able to remove it all from her system and then at that point her recovery is dependent on how much damage the Super-K has caused to her organs.”

Alex followed Lena’s instructions with a surgeon’s precision. She then placed the Kryptosuit onto Kara’s chest, and they all waited in silence.

Lucy had tears in her eyes as she sat at Kara’s bedside holding Kara’s lifeless hand; Alex stood up at Kara’s head looking down at Kara with a heartbreaking expression on her face. Brainy and Nia sat together in the corner of the room with sad expressions, and Lena felt all of their pain… Because Kara was her world, and seeing her like that, mutilated Lena’s heart and soul.

**XXX**

She stood there awkwardly, tears rushing down her face, as two guards held her where she was for two hours before something finally happened… Kara’s hand twitched, and then moments later, her hand came up to her head and she removed the helmet.

Lena’s heart beat erratically as her stomach churned. This was the moment she’d been hoping for, yet dreading, since this all began.

Alex’s face looked hopeful. “K-Kara?”

Kara’s face was still pale, and it was clear by her expression that she was still in a substantial amount of pain. “A-Alex.” She stuttered out weakly. “L-L-,”

Alex nodded. “I know, Kar’. We got her. Lena’s never going to hurt you again.”

Kara shook her head. “N-not her.” She croaked. “S-she didn’t mean to.”

Alex furrowed her brow. “What do you mean?” Alex asked, but she got no response… Kara had fallen unconscious once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think Kara meant?


	40. Chapter 40

Lena was in shock. Kara’s words rang through her like a monotone bell. What did she mean? What did she know? But most importantly, would she wake up again?

Alex looked over to Lena, her eyes pleading for Lena to do something. “Uncuff her.” She ordered the agents, to which they immediately complied.

Lena appreciated the gesture and rubbed her wrists. “Thank you.” She said nervously; still confused as to what Alex expected of her.

“Why isn’t she conscious? What did she mean?” Alex asked, terror and concern in her voice.”

The rest of the room remained silent letting Alex and Lena have their ‘moment’. Lena shook her head. “I-I don’t know.” She admitted. “I don’t remember anything in the memories J’onn pulled from my brain. I’m not saying it wasn’t me… All of the evidence points to me, but I don’t remember doing it, and if I did… I want you to shoot me.” She said, tears threatening to fall from her eyes; but she held them back… She’d had her time to cry, and right now was the time to focus on saving Kara. “As for why she fell back into unconsciousness, her body wasn’t ready for her to move or talk as much as she did. She shouldn’t have taken off her helmet yet either, not only were her lungs still dependent on the pure oxygen, but it took way too much of her energy to do that. She needs to rest.”

Alex nodded and put Kara’s helmet back on her. Then took Lena’s arm and gently nudged her outside of the room. “I never could understand why you would do this.” She said. “You never set off my asshole radar, you always came off as genuine, and you seemed so in love with Kara, and I can see by your face you still are. I didn’t want to believe it was you that did this, I tried every angle I could think of to prove that it wasn’t you, but everything I did just pointed right back at you. So, what Kara said, makes sense in a way… All the evidence points to it being you in the video, but it might not have been you that was controlling yourself.”

Lena furrowed her brow. Shocked at just how fast Alex changed her tune about her. “You think I was… _mind controlled_?”

Alex sighed. “I do. I know all the evidence points to you, and I’m not quite sure how Kara would have figured that out, but it would make sense. I’m going to check you out in the medical bay to see if there is anything that could point to my conclusion being true. I would’ve thought that J’onn reading your mind would have led him to find something, but it didn’t. So, we’re going to have to go more in depth just to make sure. Is that alright?”

Lena nodded. “Yes!” She said. She would agree to anything to prove to Alex that she hadn’t purposefully hurt Kara.

Alex gave her a tense smile and gestured for Lena to follow her.

 

**XXX**

They had been going through test after test, and everything had come up empty... Lena could see the frustration on Alex’s face.

“I’m going to do a CT scan,” Alex said.

Lena frowned she didn’t like that all of these tests were being done on her. It made her feel like a science experiment. “Are you sure that’s necessary?”

Alex nodded. “I need to find what they used to control you and if it’s still in your head. If it’s still on you, they could still take over you. We need to make sure you’re completely in control of yourself.”

Lena nodded. “Okay.”

 

**XXX**

Lena was laying in the CT scanner, hoping and praying that something would come of this, because she couldn’t have Alex going back to hating her. Not now. Not when Kara was on the mend, with Lucy by her side instead of Lena. She was terrified that Kara was going to start declining; terrified that Kara was still going to die. And terrified that if Kara did survive, this whole scenario was going to put them a million steps behind in their relationship; or that Kara would want to break up because although she knew it wasn’t Lena consciously doing what she did, it was still _her_ body and _her_ voice, and Kara might not be able get passed it.

Finally, she heard Alex speak through the com. “I FOUND IT!” She yelled.

Lena flinched, not expecting Alex’s loud outburst; but she soon felt hope rise through her. “What? What is it?”

“I don’t know, but it’s not supposed to be in your brain. It’s definitely the thing that was used to take control of your mind, though. It’s still sending out waves, but it looks like it’s damaged. It might have malfunctioned when I punched you. I’ll be able to take it out without it harming you, though, and we can send it to Brainy for testing.”

 

**XXX**

 

Alex had given Lena a local anesthetic and was removing the small metal mind-control implant behind Lena’s ear. One so small Lena would have never realized it had been in her head… It could have stayed in her for years, causing her to do horrible things, and she would have never known.

“This little thing is going straight to Brainy,” Alex said as she rose it up to show Lena. Lena’s stomach churned as she saw the bloody device. “He’s going to do whatever he can to trace it back to whoever made it. It wasn’t you that tried to kill her, Lena; but whoever it was really, _really_ hates you and Kara.”

Lena shook her head exasperatedly. Every single one of her foes was behind bars, and Morgan Edge had had a severe heart attack eight months ago and died three weeks later. So, she had no idea who this could have been. “I don’t understand any of this. All my enemies have been incarcerated. I can understand someone new randomly deciding to hate me, I’m a _Luthor_ , after all… But how the hell could _anyone_ hate Kara?”

Alex shook her head. “I have no idea. Kara is phenomenal, an you’re a Nobel Prize nominee that cured cancer. Nothing about this makes any sense.”

Lena let out sigh of relief... Alex finally seemed to be convinced of her innocence and was complimenting her. That was a huge step in the right direction. “So… you don’t hate me anymore?”

Alex chuckled as she placed the mind control device inside a glass jar. “No, it’s pretty hard to hate someone that just saved my baby sister’s life.”

Lena bit her lip and awkwardly looked down at the floor. “I-I really do love her, Alex. If I could trade places with her, I would in a heartbeat. I’d never do this to her on purpose. The fact that I-” She cut herself off as a sob escaped her. “The fact that I _did_ do this, makes me want to die.”

Alex’s face fell, and she shook her head, grabbing Lena by the shoulders. “Hey!” She shook Lena to get her attention. Then she shook her own head firmly. “No. You aren’t going to do this to yourself. You _didn’t_ do this. I know what I said back at your apartment was harsh, but now I can see without a doubt that I was  wrong. You aren’t a Luthor, _regardless_ of who your father is. I hope that someday Kara changes your last name, because she was right… It doesn’t deserve you. The evidence may say one thing, but the truth is you didn’t hurt Kara. Your body did, but your mind didn’t. You never stopped loving her, and that’s the important issue here. Now, you’re going to go back to Kara’s bed side, and you’re going to hold her hand, and you’re going to be there for her because she needs you.”

Lena bit her lip. “They used me to get to her. Whoever this new foe is, they know that Kara is Supergirl; they know about _Kryptonite_. They could be the most dangerous person Kara’s faced they’re highly intelligent, they seem to have access to high-tech equipment, and they know how to _create_ Kryptonite. They even managed to create the most fatal type of it, Kara isn’t safe on this Earth until we find out who person is!”

Alex stared at the floor; it was obvious by her expression that she was pondering something. “You’re right she’s not, and it could be weeks before she gets her powers back.” She stood up and left the room, leaving Lena alone and confused.

Had she said something that upset Alex? She wracked her brain, trying top figure out what she could possibly have said to set Alex off before Alex re-entered the room. “I had to give the device to Brainy before I could talk to you… just in case they could listen in through it.” She informed. “Kara isn’t safe here. And if we trace the device and it leads us to nothing, Kara is doubly at risk. Right now, I say that we get Kara off of this planet.”

Lena’s heart sank. She didn’t want to send Kara to Argo… being away from her for so long would be torturous; but then again, she would do whatever it would take to keep Kara safe. “So, are you going to send her with J’onn or are you going to take her?”

Alex shook her head. “Neither. This foe is clearly able to create tech smarter than they should be able to. They know how t o make Kryptonite which means that they might be able to get themselves to Argo. As far as we know, no one else but us knows that the Multiverse Theory is true though, so if we can get you and Kara off of Earth 38 and to a safer universe such as 45, 9,886, or 84,  she’d be much safer. Especially since on two of those Earths there would be a second Kara so they might not know which one to go after.”

Lena nodded. “Whatever keeps her safe.”

Alex smiled and nodded. “I’m glad we can agree on that.”

 

**XXX**

Everything had been organized, and all the visitors had been given a chance to kiss Kara’s forehead before they left. Lena was going to miss Kara more than life itself; she knew that this was for the best. They had an evil Kryptonian murdering sadist running free, and Kara was not safe. So, they were going to send Kara to Earth 45, (she knew all the Earths were decent options, but they chose Earth 45 because Lena trusted Lena and Kara 45 the most.)

They were getting ready to transport Kara, when she finally awoke. Once again, her hands went straight for her helmet, but Alex caught them and brought them back down; opting to take Kara’s helmet off herself. “Shhh.” Alex cooed. “You need to save your energy, Kara. That Super-K did a lot of damage. You’re going to be weak and sore for a while.”

“W-where’s Lena?” Kara asked, shocking Lena but melting her heart.

Alex smiled knowingly at her sister and gestured to the corner of the room where Lena nervously sat, caving in on herself. Kara’s eyes darted into her direction, and she smiled weakly. “Baby!” She said excitedly, her face filled with love. “You’re back.”

Lena swallowed the lump in her throat and slowly and nervously approached the foot of Kara’s bed. “Where else would I be, darling?” She asked.

“You weren’t there at the dock,” Kara informed. “You weren’t acting right, so I turned up my super hearing to try to listen to your heart. I heard the voice right before you stabbed me. It was distorted, and haunting, but it was controlling you Telling you to do and say _awful_ things.”

Lena began to cry. She walked up and stood at the side of Kara’s bed taking a weak hand into her own. “I don’t remember hurting you, Kara. I would _never_ hurt you like this on purpose. I’m so sorry.”

Kara smiled and weakly nodded her head. “I know.” She croaked out. “I know. You would never hurt me, Lena, you have too big a heart.”

Lena let out a small sob; pure joy and relief flooding her. Kara was awake. Kara was alive. Kara didn’t hate her. Everything seemed to be going in the right direction. “I love you, Kara. I love you more than anything.”

Kara smiled. She slowly rose her hand up, and Lena leaned down so that her hand rested in Kara’s palm. “I love you too, Lena. You’re my heart.” She finished her sentence and smiled wider at Lena, taking Lena’s breath away. Then her eyes locked on Lena’s jaw and her face fell. “What happened? Are you okay?”

It was then that Lena remembered the very strong right hook Alex had given her nine hours prior. She waved a dismissive hand. “I fell.” She said. “I’m okay.”

Kara frowned and looked at Alex. “Why?” She asked furiously.

Alex sighed. “Because until very recently we thought Lena had actually done it. No matter what I did to prove that she was innocent, the evidence said otherwise. I was furious, I was heartbroken, and I just wanted answers. Had I known that she was under mind control I wouldn’t have done it. But it’s over now. We know she’s innocent, and we have a plan.”

Kara frowned. “Lena, baby. Are you okay?”

Lena nodded. “Of course, I am, but right now we have to get you somewhere that you will be safe and able to heal without any worries.”

“Home?” Kara asked.

Lena shook her head. “No, baby. We have to send you to Earth 45. The person that we’re dealing with right now is a huge threat. They know who you are, who you are dating, and about Kryptonite. They could easily hunt you down and kill you, and you are powerless and sick. You can’t defend yourself, and I can’t do anything to help you become immune to Kryptonite until you get your powers back. Being on this Earth is nothing but dangerous for you.”

Kara looked at Alex, and Alex nodded. “She’s right, Kar’. You can’t stay here; it isn’t safe.”

Kara deflated in defeat. “Fine, but I’m not going alone. Come with me, Lee.”

Lena was taken aback; she thought for sure Kara would use this time apart to re-evaluate their relationship, but she smiled; agreeing instantly.

It finally looked like things were going to work out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	41. Chapter 41

She was still terrified that the other shoe was going to drop, and Kara would finally blame her for the condition that she was currently in. That Kara would start to believe all the vile things that Lena had said while under mind control, would start to resent, or even hate her for everything that she was currently going through.

But Lena was going to fight through it all. She would face every obstacle that came her way and fight for Kara until the end. If Kara had doubts, she would do whatever it took to ease them. If Kara decided she needed time apart, she’d give it to her, but she’d always come back. She would only step back for good if Kara told her she wanted nothing more to do with their relationship.

 

They were currently preparing to leave for Earth 45. Alex had packed Kara’s luggage, and Lena had packed her own, making sure she kept the Kryptonite vaccine in the front pocket of her suitcase to make sure she didn’t lose it along with everything she needed to tend to Kara’s wounds. She vowed to herself that she would inject Kara with the Kryptonite vaccine as soon as her body was 100% Kryptonite free.

She was helping Kara into a wheelchair after they said their final farewells to Alex, and as soon as she got Kara’s feet securely on the footrests, Lena stood up and smiled nervously at Kara. “Are you ready, Darling?” She asked.

Kara gave her a terse smile and nodded slightly. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”

Lena frowned, Kara seemed a bit out of it. She knew it might just be the pain meds she was on; knew that that was the most _likely_ reason… but she still couldn’t fight down the worry that it was Kara’s doubt beginning to cloud her mind, that she was starting to resent Lena for everything that had happened.

She let it go for now, because she didn’t want to upset Kara more than she already seemed to be. So, instead of bringing it up or asking if something was bothering Kara, Lena opened the portal, and threw all four luggage bags through the portal before she pushed herself and Kara through.

 

**XXX**

When they stepped out of the portal, Lena recognized the place instantly. They were in Kara 45’s luxurious penthouse. She looked around, searching for anyone. “Hello?” She called out.

“Lena?!” Kara 45 called worriedly, immediately appearing in front of them. Her face fell into one of confusion. “Oh.” She said with a confused frown. “What brings you two here? Why are you in a wheelchair?!” She asked Kara.

Kara looked miserable; it was clear that sitting up was starting to cause her severe pain. So, Lena decided to answer for her. “She’s hurt… badly, and it’s going to take quite a while before she’s up on her feet again, let alone get her powers back. The person that did this to her took control of my body and used me to do the dirty work, so they know everything about us, and we know nothing about them. We’re at a huge disadvantage on our Earth, so we could really use your help. Would you mind letting us stay with you for a few weeks?”

Kara 45 looked mortified by their story but immediately agreed. “Y-yes. Of course. I have a vacant penthouse right above Alex’s. It’s fully furnished, (to my liking) but you two can stay there as long as you’d like, and you can use one of my CatCo credit cards for anything you might need. I’ll give you the Netflix and Hulu passwords, and the cable should already be hooked up. If you need anything, anything at all don’t be afraid to come up and ask!”

Lena smiled, it melted her heart to know that on every Earth, Kara was just as selfless. “Thank you so much. I appreciate it.”

Kara’s eyes were closed, and her head was slack, meaning that she’d fallen unconscious again due to the severe pain. Kara 45 seemed to take notice and frowned. “Want me to hurry up and get her to bed?” She asked.

Lena smiled in gratitude but couldn’t fight the overwhelming sense of worry she felt for her unconscious… girlfriend(?).  “Yes. Please. I’ll jus-,” Before she could finish her sentence Kara and Kara 45 were both gone.

Lena shook her head and let out a small chuckle of admiration. She bent down to pick up the luggage she and Kara had brought, but before she could touch them, they disappeared in a whoosh of air. She shook her head and chuckled once more. She always loved when Kara used her superspeed; she found it adorable and endearing; but when Kara 45 did it, she found it humorous. It was odd to her, how two people with the same DNA and identical face could cause her such different emotions now. Kara owned her heart, warmed her soul, and caused butterflies to dance in her stomach; but all she felt for Kara 45 was friendship… It just went to show that Kara’s heart and personality was the number one reason Lena fell in love with her.

A few moments later (as Lena expected) Kara 45 whisked her away and brought her to Kara. Lena smiled at Kara 45. “Thank you,” She said with a chuckle. “But I could have gotten here on my own.”

Kara 45 shrugged. “Not as quickly as I could, though.” She said.

“I suppose that is true.” Lena laughed. She then looked at Kara, who was neatly tucked into the large bed in the penthouse bedroom. “I’m quite honestly terrified I’m going to lose her,” Lena admitted. “She’s extremely sick, and although I have everything I need to take care of her wounds, there’s no guarantee that she’s going to be okay.”

Kara 45 eyed Kara in the bed before smiling sympathetically at Lena. “We’re fighters. We watched our world explode with everyone we loved on it, survived the phantom zone for 24 years, got our asses kicked by Reign, and we dated _Mon-El_ … If that didn’t kill us, nothing will.” She joked.

Lena couldn’t help the chortle that escaped her, and she nodded. “I hope you’re right.” She said. “I love her.”

Kara 45 smiled. “She’s a lucky girl whether she knows it or not.”

Lena shook her head. “I’m the lucky one. She and I were going to tell you, but we’re finally giving us a shot. Well… we _were_. I-I don’t know if she’ll want to be with me once her pain lessens and her mind isn’t foggy.”

Kara 45 smiled. “Congratulations. I’m happy for the both of you. You both deserve happiness.” She looked to the floor, her eyes hidng an emotion from Lena that Lena could tell was the opposite of happiness, which confused Lena to her core. “I um… I should get going, but… If she and I are anything alike, I don’t think she’s going to blame you for this.” She said as she handed Lena the CatCo credit card.

Lena smiled taking a small amount of comfort in Kara 45’s words… The only problem was, Kara 45 and Kara were similar in their core roots but were entirely different in other aspects. So, she wasn’t quite sure Kara 45’s assurances held much validation in this aspect. “Tell your Lena I said hello; and thank you again for everything.”

Kara 45 nodded, her eyes not meeting Lena’s. “Oh! Um… y-yeah! I’ll tell her.” She said awkwardly before super speeding out of the penthouse. Lena furrowed her brows, thoroughly confused by Kara 45’s behavior, but she shrugged it off. She needed to make sure Kara’s wounds weren’t re-opened.

She tried her hardest to pull Kara’s shirt up just enough to reveal the wounds without revealing anything Kara might not want her to see. (Even if Kara did still want to be with her after everything, they hadn’t made love yet, so it was highly unlikely she would be too pleased with Lena uncovering her chest.) She nervously checked under the bandages, replacing them as soon as she was sure the wounds weren’t going to tear open anytime soon, and then pulled Kara’s shirt back down.

She let out a shaky breathy; seeing Kara’s abdomen so torn up devastated her… especially when she realized it was by her hand that it all happened. She swallowed back the guilt, and stood up; ready to unpack their things, when Kara stirred groaning. “Lena?”

Lena turned around and was instantly at Kara’s side once more. “Kara! It’s okay, Darling. I’m here. You’re okay.” She said, even though she wasn’t quite sure about that last part.

Kara offered her a weak smile before grimacing. “Ah!” She grunted. “It hurts.”

Lena’s heart shattered, and she nodded. “I know darling.” She cried as she rushed to one of her bags and pulled out a syringe filled with morphine. Alex had given it to her when Lena had returned tot eh DEO with her luggage right before they departed. “This will make you feel better.” She assured, injecting Kara with a fourth of the syringe and wiping it off with alcohol before putting the cap back on it.

Alex had informed her that Kryptonians reacted to pain medication differently, which meant they also didn’t need as much of said medicine to relieve their pain. “That should help you any minute now.” Lena cooed.

Kara smiled and nodded her head groggily. “Thanks, Lee.” She said.

Lena smiled through her tears. “I’m so sorry I let this happen to you, Kara. I should have been smarter; I should have _known_.”

Kara grabbed Lena’s hand. “Not your fault, beautiful.”

Lena heart melted at the pet name but shook her head indignantly. “You say that now, but when you’re actually able to think, you might not be so forgiving.”

Kara looked her in the eyes a few moments later, her eyes completely clear; which must have been an effect from the morphine. “It wasn’t your fault, Lena. It wasn’t you, and everyone knows that now.”

Lena shook her head. “How can you say that? I stab-,”

Kara shook her head, clearly feeling a little bit better due to the medication. “ _You_ didn’t do anything, Lena. _You_ were planning on setting up a romantic picnic on the bay. _You_ were planning on kissing and loving me. _You_ weren’t at the doc. Your body was, but your mind was trapped somewhere else, and you can’t be at fault for something you didn’t consciously do.”

“B-but how could you look at me and not be sent back to that moment?” Lena asked. “My face, my mouth, my hands… They all hurt you.”

Kara clenched her jaw and looked down at the sheets. “The only thing I’m worried about that happened, was what ‘you’ said to me in the end…”

Lena’s heart dropped as she remembered that statement clear as day and it echoed through her head.   _“You were a fool to ever trust me, Kara. After everything your cousin did to my brother, did you actually think I could love you? You aren’t even human, and I most certainly am not into bestiality.”_ Lena swallowed thickly, trying her best not to fall apart. She couldn’t imagine how that must have hurt Kara. “I-I don’t know where that came from, I don’t know who said it, but it wasn’t me.” Lena asserted passionately as she tentatively placed her hand on Kara’s.

Kara bit her lip and looked down, the pain and worry evident on her face; which broke Lena’s heart. She had never, even for a moment, thought that Kara could be insecure about their relationship. She’d thought for sure that Kara understood how much Lena loved her, that she knew how perfect she was… but Lena seemed to be wrong.

Kara looked back up, her eyes clouded over with an emotion that Lena could only guess was worry (but seemed to be _so_ much deeper) “But… I’m not human, Lena. I’m a superpowered alien from hundreds of lightyears away and whose closest family member destroyed your family... Are you sure that there isn’t _some_ truth to what they said? That the monster that was controlling you didn’t hear that thought echoing in your mind somewhere?”

Lena’s need to get Kara to understand just how wrong she was, overwhelmed her. She hated that Kara was this insecure; that after all that happened to her she thought that _she_ might be the problem instead of Lena. “No! Kara _, please_. I need you to know that I don’t think of you as anything but a goddess of a person. I know you aren’t human, but you _aren’t_ a beast, Kara. Everything that you are, and everything that you do, I love. You aren’t below humanity, Kara you’re _better_ than it. If anyone is inferior to the other in this relationship it's me to you. I love you, Kara, and if you need time to process everything, if you want time to think our relationship over, I will give that to you, but you need to know that you are nothing but extra ordinary to me and nothing ‘I’ said on that dock is true. Your cousin didn’t destroy my family, my family destroyed themselves all on their own, and even if Clark _did_ cause Lex and Lillian to lose their minds and become monsters, that would not affect my feelings for you in the slightest because you aren’t your cousin, and I’m not my brother. You’re my everything, Kara and I can’t handle the thought that you don’t know that.”

Kara’s eyes were no longer clouded with an unidentified emotion, but instead were searching for something within Lena’s eyes. After a few moments, she seemed to find what she was looking for. “I don’t need time. I already know what I want.” She announced monotonously; which caused Lena’s heart to crack immediately. Kara was done with her.

She didn’t blame Kara, if someone (regardless of the consciousness) stabbed her thirteen times, and left her to bleed to death on an abandoned dock in the middle of nowhere; she probably wouldn’t be able to get passed it either. She stood up and nodded, wiping her eyes. “Okay. I-I understand.” She said.

Kara’s hand weakly grasped Lena’s wrist, halting Lena. Lena squeezed her eyes shut to stop her tears, but all it did was push them out. “Kara, please…”

“Where are you going?” Kara asked, she was noticeably getting weaker. Which meant she was going to fall asleep soon.

Lena sighed. “You know what you want, and I can tell it isn’t me. I’m just giving you what you want.”

Kara tightened her hold on Lena’s wrist slightly. “I know that you’ve never been able to depend on someone. I know that no one has ever stayed for you. I know that you don’t understand why I love you and that you always assume the worst, but I thought that this time you’d understand that when I say I know what I want, I mean that I want _you_.”

Lena furrowed her brows, and she looked at Kara, her heart filling with hope. “Are you sure?”

Kara smiled weakly and nodded. “Lena, I’ve been telling you this wasn’t your fault, that I love you, that I understand this wasn’t you. Then I asked you to come with me to a different Earth. I asked you if you were sure that you loved me fully. Then I say I know what I want, and you assume I want you gone? You should know by now you’re the one that I want. I love you, Lena. None of this is your fault, and I don’t want to break up. Now please, lay with me.”

Lena was stunned, and she felt a little bit silly when Kara stated it like that; but after all that she’d been through she still found it hard to believe Kara finally loved her back. Nevertheless, her heart was overjoyed as she climbed into bed with Kara. She didn’t know how to lay with her without causing Kara pain. “I-I don’t want to hurt you.” She said with a frown.

Kara smiled weakly, her eyes were hooded, and it was very obvious that she as going to fall asleep soon. “See? You wouldn’t hurt me even if you could, Lena.” She said before slowly reaching out her hand and taking Lena’s in it. “For now, this will work.”

Lena smiled as she watched Kara fall asleep once more and she nodded.

 _Yeah._ She thought. _For now, this will work_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They seem to be working through their messiness, but what lingers on the horizon?


	42. Chapter 42

Lena laid next to Kara with a content smile on her face. Kara was so majestic, so pure, so beautiful. Lena couldn’t believe that _she_ of all people was the _one_ person in the world that Kara chose to be with, but she was so happy that she was.

Eventually, Lena got restless and wanted to know why Kara 45 was acting so strange when they had first arrived. She quietly got up so as not to disturb Kara and placed the remote to the smart TV and a note on her pillow that informed Kara where she was going to be and asked her to use the landline on the bed stand to call her if she needed _anything_.

She then quietly exited the penthouse and took the elevator to the top floor penthouse that Kara lived in. She knocked on the door nervously, and within a microsecond, the door swung open. Kara 45 squinted. “Are you 38 or my Lena?” She asked.

Lena smiled awkwardly. “I’m from Earth 38.”

Kara 45 nodded and stepped aside, gesturing for her to come in. “Okay, good.” She sighed in relief, confusing Lena to no end. “I thought so, but she grew her hair out again, and your make-up covered your bruised jaw rather well, so I wasn’t sure.” She paused. “How’d you get that, anyway?” She asked as she pointed to her make-up coated jaw.

Lena let out a sigh. “Well, in the beginning, Alex genuinely thought I purposely tried to kill Kara. All of the evidence pointed to me, and there was an actual video of me doing it.”

Kara 45 smiled knowingly and then pursed her lips. “Say no more. I know how protective _my_ Alex can be. I’m sure yours is the same.” She chuckled.

Lena nodded her head and laughed. “Her protective nature knows no bounds.” She said. “But I can’t blame her for it; I’m the same way with Kara.”

Kara 45 smiled sadly. “She deserves that. You both do.”

 “Well, I’m sure Lena 45 is the same way with you.” She smiled. “How is she?” She asked inquisitively as she sat on Kara 45’s lavish couch.

Kara 45 sat on the couch across from her. “Oh! Um…” She cut herself off with a sigh as she closed her eyes and shook her head. “I’m not going to sit here and try to lie to you.” She said. “We aren’t together anymore. We broke up three months ago.”

Lena’s heart immediately broke for Lena 45. “W-what? But you two were so _happy_! What happened?”

Kara 45 swallowed audibly and looked to the ground sadly. “She informed me that she had fallen in love with someone else. That being with me was ‘torturous’ because watching me fight villains on the television took too much out of her, so she went to someone else for comfort. She said they’d been talking as friends in the beginning, but she couldn’t help what it turned into in the end. She packed up the things that she had here and left. She hasn’t talked to me since. That’s why I was so shocked and worried when I heard your voice calling out for me when you first got here. I thought something bad had happened... Something major, because that’s the only way she’d want to talk to me at this point. Plus, your voice sounded desperate so that only added to my fears.”

Lena’s head was swirling. None of what Kara 45 had told her made any sense. There was no way in hell that Lena… _any_ Lena could fall in love with someone instead of Kara. It just wasn’t possible; Kara was _the_ one for every Lena. Something must have happened… “Did she say who it was?”

Kara 45 shook her head. “No, and I don’t care.” She asserted, the pain evident on her face. “She broke my heart; I don’t need to know who she broke my heart _for_. I’ll always care about her, but I don’t really want to know about her personal life anymore. She made it clear she didn’t want to be in mine.”

Lena furrowed her brow. None of what Kara 45 said added up. When she first met Lena 45, she was just as miserable as she had been because they were both madly in love with their respective Karas but their Kara’s were both with their Luys. So, there was no way in hell that Lena would believe that Lena 45 fell out of love with Kara 45 just because she was a superhero. There had to be another reason Lena 45 broke up with Kara 45. “Have you… _tried_ talking to her? Maybe she’s changed her mind?”

Kara 45 narrowed her eyes. “You mean, did I try to torture myself by trying to talk to the woman who mercilessly stomped on my heart and walked away without looking back? I did a few times, but then Alex talked some sense into me, and I have been too busy trying not to fly myself into orbit to end the pain ever since. It doesn’t matter if she changed her mind now anyway. She made her choice, and that was to betray me. I’m not going to go back to someone that doesn’t respect me.”

“Right…” Lena said, then rolled her lips into her mouth and nodded. She couldn’t blame Kara 45 for the anger, resentment, and pain that she was feeling. It just hurt her to see that the one couple that had a similar beginning to her and her Kara ended so badly… It made her fear for her own relationship. But she knew that she would never break up with Kara… Nor would she cheat. But something still didn’t add up about this situation. Lena 45 definitely didn’t come across as an idiot… and only an _idiot_ would cheat on or break up with any world’s Kara Danvers.

“I don’t know what you’re trying to get at, but I’d really like to be alone right now if you don’t mind.” Kara 45 said with a defeated huff. “I’m having game night later on, and Alex is insisting that she invited someone she thinks could ‘take the edge off’. I’m not sure if she’s wanting me to hook up with said person or go on a date with them, but I need time to emotionally prepare for this either way.”

Lena’s heart sank as she stood up to leave. Imagining Kara 45 move one with someone new broke her heart for Lena 45.

Whatever was going on with Lena 45 was most definitely massive. But she had no idea what to do… She couldn’t leave the building; she had to tend to Kara. So really, there was nothing that she _could_ do. Because as much as she wanted Kara 45 and Lena 45 to mend their relationship… Kara was more important.

 

**XXX**

Lena came back to the penthouse and entered the bedroom to find Kara laying on the bed flicking through Netflix. She smiled once she saw Lena. “Hey.”

Lena’s heart leaped. She loved being the reason Kara smiled “Hey.” She said as she walked closer to the bed. “How long have you been up?”

Kara shrugged her shoulders. “Only like twenty minutes.”

Lena frowned. “Why didn’t you call me?”

“You said to call you if I _needed_ anything. I didn’t need anything, so I let you hang out with your friends. However strange and complicated your friendship may be, you deserved a chance to relax and enjoy yourself with them. You’ve been through a lot.”

Lena frowned and shook her head. “Kara, it was nice of you to consider that, but right now you are so much more important. Your health comes first. _Always_! You’ve been through way worse than I have been.”

Kara smiled and patted the bed gesturing for Lena to sit next to her on it. “If my health had become urgent, I would have called you. But my pain is at a minimum right now, and I’m not in desperate need to do anything. I was okay, and I still am. I’m still breathing, Lena. I’ve been through a lot, yes… and I’m still in pain, that’s true; but you were mind controlled, falsely accused of murder, incarcerated, and punched. We’ve both been through a lot. You deserve time to relax and try to enjoy life too, baby.”

Lena smiled and took Kara’s hand in her own. “I enjoy my life the most when you’re by my side, Kara. I thought you’d call me as soon as you woke up.”

Kara smiled. “Next time I will. Okay?”

“Promise?” Lena asked petulantly.

Kara giggled and nodded. “I promise, baby.” She said before cupping Lena’s cheek and guiding her head down so they could kiss. They pulled back a moment later, resting their foreheads against each other. “I love you.” Kara cooed.

Lena couldn’t help the flutter of her heart and the ever-growing smile on her lips. “I love you too, Darling.”

 

**XXX**

Lena had opted out of telling Kara about the Lena 45 and Kara 45 break-up. Not only did it not make any sense to her, but she knew now that Kara was insecure about being an alien and worried that it may not be what Lena wanted… So, if she heard that Lena 45’s ‘reason’ for leaving Kara 45 was related to her being Kryptonian, it might worsen things for Kara, and that was the opposite of what Lena wanted.

She sat next to Kara in the bed pondering on what could have caused Lena 45 to be such a dolt. She had just cleaned and changed Kara’s bandages, and they were watching a mindless show playing on the TV. Kara had asked if she would like to watch it twenty minutes ago and she had agreed, but couldn’t find it in herself to pay attention. She was just too perplexed about the 45s’ situation.

Lena was mentally going over everything that Kara 45 had told her, trying to make sense of it all, when Kara’s voice broke her from her mental investigation.

“Lena?” Kara asked worriedly. “What’s wrong? You’re not paying attention to the show, and you look like you’re in pain.”

“Hmm? No! Not at all. Nothing’s wrong. I’m fine.” She said as sincerely as she could with an added forced smile.

Kara frowned. “You’re lying.”

Her tone made Lena’s heart drop. She sounded hurt, disappointed even. “Kara, I-,”

Kara’s facial expression turned into one of pure hurt; which cracked Lena’s heart in two. She hated hurting Kara. “I thought we got passed this.” She said. “I thought we were finally at a point where we would be honest with each other… where we could trust each other not to keep secrets.”

Lena felt at a loss for words. Everything was going south, and it was all because she couldn’t hide her emotions… She couldn’t tell Kara the truth. It’d worry her, make her more self conscious. “Kara, _of course_ , we are! I-I just…” She sighed defeatedly and lowered her head with her eyes closed. “I’m worried about you.”

Kara nodded. “I know you are, but this is something else.” She tried to sit up but grimaced in pain and immediately stopped her motions, which all broke Lena’s heart. “Lena, open communication, and honesty are two crucial parts to relationships. Our relationship won’t survive lies or secrets. I’m here to be your partner and friend, not to judge you. So, whatever it is that’s occupying your mind, please let me know. I want to help if I can. Did something happen while you were with Lena and Kara 45?”

Lena closed her eyes and sighed in defeat. She didn’t want Kara to know what Lena 45 had said and supposedly done… She didn’t want Kara to lose faith in her because of what her doppelganger had stupidly done. But if she wanted Kara ever to be able to trust her, she had to be honest and open. “Please know that what happened isn’t going to happen to us, okay? Please know that I love you, and only you.”

Kara furrowed her brow in concern, but she nodded and allowed Lena to continue.

Lena swallowed nervously and let out a shaky breath before she continued. “I went up to Kara 45’s penthouse because I wanted to figure out why she was acting so strange when we arrived. I figured I’d talk to her and Lena 45 both eventually, but when I got there, she acted relieved that I w _asn’t_ Lena 45. We talked, she asked be about how I got my bruised jaw, and I told her about how Alex in the beginning really thought that I had been the one to hurt you. Then I asked her about Lena 45. She came out and told me that Lena 45 cheated on her and then broke up with her. Lena 45 had said that she couldn’t handle dating a superhero because watching the fights was torturous, so she went to someone else for comfort and ended up falling in love with them.”

Kara’s face was unreadable, and that terrified Lena. “Kara?” She asked nervously after a few more minutes of silence.

Kara’s eyes were clouded over with an unidentified emotion; one that Lena knew wasn’t a good one. She swallowed. “I-I can see why she would find it hard to be with someone like me.” She said. “She should have broken things off before she started something with someone else, though.”

Lena’s heart broke… She could finally read the emotions in Kara’s eyes: worry and pain. She then made it her mission ease Kara’s mind immediately. “No, she shouldn’t have even thought about being with someone else.” She said sternly; not allowing those types of doubts or fears to fester in Kara’s mind. “You are the _only_ one for me; you’re the only one for _all_ Lenas.” She informed. “You’re the only person in the multiverse that we could love, Kara. Every single version of Lena Luthor falls in love with their version of you, which is why none of this makes sense to me. I would never do this to you… _none_ of the Lenas I met would… including Lena 45, and that is why I didn’t want to bring this up and worry you. It’s also why I’m so puzzled.”

Kara frowned. “Are you one hundred percent certain that me being Supergirl isn’t going to bother you?” She asked in a still-small voice.

Lena nodded immediately. “I’m ten thousand percent certain, Kara. There’s nothing in any universe that could make me not want to be with you.”

Kara offered Lena a slight smile before she brought Lena’s head down with her hand and connected her lips. “I feel the same way.”

Lena’s heart melted at the magnitude of Kara’s word’s and the softness of her tone. “Yeah?”

Kara pecked her lips once more before nodding with a tender smile. “Yeah.”

They stayed like that, faces inches apart, eyes boring into each other, drinking in each other’s presence when a thought visibly struck Kara. “Oh my god!” She said in pure shock. “Do you think… Maybe this is something like what happened to us? If it was as out of character for her as you say it is, then maybe whoever targeted us targeted the 45s too... Perhaps they targeted them first. We might not be as safe here as you and Alex thought.”

Lena’s heart plummeted, but everything Kara said made sense. “If that’s the case I need to talk to Lena 45 immediately.” She said.

Kara nodded. “I have the landline and Kara 45’s number if anything emergent happens to me.” She said.

Lena nodded and leaned down to kiss her girlfriend. “I will be back as soon as possible. Just take it easy and drink lots of fluids, okay?”

Kara nodded. “Be safe baby. We don’t know how big this whole mess is anymore.”

“I know. I will be.” She said before leaving the penthouse.

As she rode the elevator down to the first floor, she put on an image inducer and activated it. She intended to get down to the bottom of this whole mess. She knew deep down that no version of her was capable of being unfaithful to Kara, or falling out of love with Kara. So, Kara was right. There had to be more to the story; there had to be a _reason_ (a reason that was most likely to do with Kara 45’s safety) that Lena 45 would make up such a horrid story.

Lena stepped out of the elevator with purpose. She was ready to go to war if it meant protecting the woman she loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you think Lena 45 told the truth?
> 
> If not, what do you think her reasoning for lying is?


	43. Chapter 43

Lena knew that if she and Kara would ever break up there would be no way she could keep on going. She would refuse to stay in her apartment, so the only place she could think Lena 45 would be… was in her lab. Science and hard liquor was her only way to cope when she didn’t have Kara in her life, and from what she’d seen, every Kara-less Lena coped the same way. So, she didn’t imagine Lena 45 was any different.

She snuck through the security and succeeded to dodge every hidden (and not-so hidden) security camera thanks to the fact that this L-Corp’s layout was almost identical to her own. She then managed to sneak her way into the private hallway that led to all the labs, and then began to search for her doppelganger.

Luckily for her, she only had to check two of the labs before she came face-to-face with a sullen version of herself. The woman before her looked miserable, exactly the way Lena imagined she had looked for those six agonizing months that Kara had hated her for lying about being kidnapped. Seeing her look-alike in so much pain broke Lena’s heart and made her want to engulf Lena 45 in a tight embrace. She didn’t, however, because she knew that no hug could even come close to pacifying the turmoil and misery of being Kara-less.

“Why are you here?” Lena 45 asked, her voice hoarse; she’d obviously been crying.

“Because someone took control of my mind and made me stab the love of my life thirteen times in the chest with a nuclear version of Kryptonite. So, we came here looking for refuge because Kara can’t even sit up on her own and the monster that did this to her is still at large. But I talked to your _ex_ -girlfriend and now I think you might have been targeted by the same person.” She explained. “Because I know damn well you aren’t masochistic or stupid enough to ruin your relationship with Kara.”

Lena 45 pulled out a flask, taking a massive gulp of it before finally meeting Lena’s eyes. “Well, you’re wrong.” She said. “I did cheat on her. I don’t know anything about your mysterious Kryptonian murderer and I don’t care. Just leave.”

Lena narrowed her eyes. “Kara and I are together.” She stated sternly. “I finally, after _years_ of pining, won her heart… I finally womanned up and told her how I feel, and she _actually_ chose to be with me. So, I understand the bliss you were talking about. Because for a month now, I’ve been able to kiss and love Kara the way I’ve always wanted to, and she’s finally, _finally_ welcoming and reciprocating it. So, there’s no way in hell I’m going to sit here and believe even for a nanosecond that you gave that and all the happiness that came with it, up just because of her being a superhero.”

Lena 45’s eyes widened. “Y-you and your Kara?”

Lena smiled and nodded. “Yes.”

“ _No!_ No, no, no! You have to break up with her.” Lena 45 said. “You _will_ get her killed if you don’t.”

Lena’s heart fell at the mere thought of that and she frowned. “What?”

“He hates you the most!” Lena 45 informed. “You were the closest to her; he thinks you should have _known_  that she was going to kill herself and tried to stop her because you got your own letter.”

Lena furrowed her brow. “45, I haven’t the slighted idea of what you are referring to.”

“The only reason your Kara is alive right now is that he _wanted_ her to be!” Lena 45 informed. “He wanted her to suffer, but he also wanted you to see her suffer because he knows how agonizing it would be for you. He wanted you to go to prison for her attempted murder; he wanted her to _hate_ you. He wanted you both to suffer, but in totally different ways than he wanted me and my Kara to suffer. He didn’t take control of me and physically hurt my Kara because I begged. I _pleaded_ , and he finally decided that as long as I made Kara hate me on my own, he would spare her. He said I wasn’t the worst of us, that I was one of the more forgivable. That I was one that deserved _some_ mercy. But if my Kara and I get back together, he _will_ kill her. He gave me a choice, and I chose to save my soulmate, and you will never make me regret that.”

Lena’s mid was swirling. She couldn’t understand who would hate her this much. She’d never done anything to anyone… All she strived to do was help people. “ _Who?_ ” She asked desperately. “Who is doing this to us? Who else is in danger? Perhaps if you and I and both of our Karas work together, we can take this man down.”

Lena 45 shook her head. “I can’t tell you.” She said. “And even if I could, I would never subject Kara to the dangers of him.”

Lena saw the fear in Lena 45’s eyes. Saw the heartache, the sleepless nights, the tear stains… Only one man in the world could cause her to be so afraid… and that man was her brother.

She hadn’t said his name in ages. She tried to forget him as much as possible… but from what Lena 45 was saying, this perpetrator was a man, and the only man that could strike fear into her fragile heart was Lex Luthor himself. “It’s Lex…” She stated flatly. There was no question in her voice nor was there even a hint of emotion

Lena 45 immediately averted her eyes. “I never said that.”

Lena shook her head. “You didn’t have to. He’s the only one that’s capable of such heinous acts… The only one that could be so blinded by hatred that he’d jump multiverses just to exact revenge… The only one that would have the capability to make a super-strength kryptonite and hate me enough to try to kill the woman I love with it. So tell me… why _us_? Does he just want to ruin every Lenas’ life? Were you not enough? I don’t understand.”

“He isn’t _my_ brother… and he’s not yours either. He was 84’s brother.” 45 informed.

Lena’s heart broke at the mention of her friend and guilt soon rushed through her. She should have realized what was going on in Lena 84’s mind… it was the exact same thing that would have gone through Lena’s mind if Kara would ever die… She should have known. She should have been there. But what baffled her, was why a Lex of all people was out to avenge a Lena. Didn’t all Lex Luthors hate their little sisters? “W-why does he care?” She asked. “I would have thought that Lex would be happy if I died.”

“In their own messed up way… I think they all still do care about us somewhat; they’re just too evil to show it in the right ways.” Lena 45 said. “But regardless of why he’s trying to avenge his sister… I’m not going to get my Kara involved. I’m not going to help you. I’m not risking my Kara’s life, and if you really do care about your Kara, which I know that you do, you’ll break up with her too. This isn’t a battle we can win, Lena. You know he’s always one step ahead of us. He is going after every single Lena that ended up getting a place in Lena 84’s suicide letter, and he’s going to give them the same choice he gave me. But with you and 9,886? He wants you two to suffer the most because you were the one Lena 84 confided in the most. I may be miserable, 38, and I may have hurt her in a way that I hate myself for, but I _protected_ her just like I always will. If you were smart, you would do the same.”

Lena bit back her tears. She was torn, she had no idea what to do, and she was still so confused why everything always doubled down on her. She knew that out of all the Lenas, she was the closest one to Lena 84.

But now, finding out who the culprit was left her feeling afraid… afraid for Kara, afraid for all the other Lenas, and afraid for herself.

“45… please. You _have_ to tell your Kara the truth! She’s going to move on from you because she thinks you cheated. Is that really what you want!? Your Alex is already setting her up!” Lena practically pleaded.

She saw the pain in 45’s face. “To be frank, she deserves to be happy. As long as she’s breathing, as long as I can see her on my screen and in the newspaper everyday… I’ll be able to keep going. I’ll be miserable, but it will be worth it because she will still be alive.”

Lena’s heart ached. She knew that feeling all-too well, and she knew that 45’s mind was set in stone. She wouldn’t even bother trying to convince 45 to try to help her. She didn’t know how Lex was monitoring Lena 45’s interactions Kara 45, but she knew that he was making sure Lena 45 stayed far, _far_ away from Kara 45. It broke her heart, but she wouldn’t ask questions. She knew that Kara’s safety was one thing Lena 45 wasn’t going to risk.

**XXX**

The entire walk back to Kara was torturous. There were so many emotions flying through Lena that she felt she was going insane. Guilt, worry, fear, confusion, and so many more… She had no idea what she should do.

Lena 45 had informed her that many of the Lenas that landed onto Earth 84 were potentially at risk of being harmed… And Lena had no idea how many of them were in Lena 84’s second note because she had only read the one that was solely written for her. But Lena remembered that only three out of all the 52 Lenas that had accidentally teleported themselves to Earth 84 had earned their Kara’s love… Lena 45, Lena 9,886, and herself… Most Karas hated their Lenas or had fallen out of touch with them after their Lena got angry and ignored them once they found out she was a Superhero. So… how was Lex 84 planning on hurting the rest of them?  Lena shivered with dread as she thought of all the horrible things Lex 84 could have planned for them.

However, Lena needed a plan on how to go about finding Lex 84: it seemed that he was attacking the three Lenas that had gotten their Kara’s love first. And with any luck, he hadn’t reached Earth 9,886 Lena and Kara yet so that seemed to be where she should start.

Then there came the question of what she should do about her and Kara; with or without the Kryptonite vaccine she couldn’t protect Kara from Lex 84… not when she had no idea where he was. It didn’t help that he’d had tons more practice at trying to kill Kryptonians than she ever did at trying to protect him. He knew how to make Super-K, knew how to create a giant Kryptonite mutant, and knew how to build a mind control device; and she had no way of protecting Kara from any of it. Especially not when Kara couldn’t even sit up on her own.

She finally stopped her rambling worrisome mind when she reached the penthouse where Kara was staying. She let out a breath to calm herself, having no idea what she should do, but then Lena 45’s words rang through her head.

_“I may be miserable, 38, and I may have hurt her in a way that I hate myself for, but I protected her just like I always will. If you were smart, you would do the same.”_

Lena’s heart dropped… Everything that Lena 45 said was true, there was no way Lena could protect Kara from a Lex… especially not one that she couldn’t find. She had no idea which Earth he was on now, or what he had planned. How was she supposed to protect an _injured_ Kara from an omnipresent evil master mind like her brother?

She fought back tears. This was going to tear her heart to shreds, but she couldn’t be with Kara if it meant putting her life in danger. Lex 84’s motives weren’t one hundred percent clear, but it was obvious that he wanted to kill any Kara that any Lena had any romantic _or_ platonic relationship with. He wanted all Lenas and all Karas to live without each other, but most importantly he wanted Lena to suffer the most.

So, with all that being said… Kara was at risk because of her, and there was no way in hell that she was going to let it stay like that.

She opened the door to the penthouse and walked through it until she reached the doorway of the bedroom where Kara laid on the bed watching Glee. She smiled at how innocent and pure she looked, she wished she could spend the rest of her life being able to come home to a sight like this.

Lena intended to stand there for a little while longer, just to soak up all the pure joy she could before she ruined her one chance at happiness, but Kara caught sight of her and smiled. “What are you doing, creeper?” She teased adoringly.

Lena’s heart broke… she didn’t want to have to ruin Kara’s good mood, but she had to. It was for her protection. “Kara, I-,” She paused and rolled her lips into her mouth.

Kara’s playful mood and genuine smile disappeared in an instant and were replaced with a worried frown. “Lena? Baby, what’s wrong?”

Lena’s throat was burning from repressed tears. “Kara, I talked to Lena 45, and um… She-she made me realize some things.”

“Like what? Is she okay? Did she tell you who took control of her?” Kara asked.

“I-,” She couldn’t fight back a sob that ripped from her chest, and she cursed herself for not being able to contain her emotions.

Kara’s worried eyes grew wide. “Lee, what’s wrong? Is she okay? Should we get more of the DEO involved?”

 Lena shook her head and walked over to sit on the bed so that she didn’t fall. “She made me realize that I can’t be with you.”  She said in a thick, heartbroken voice.

Kara’s worried face then fell into one of pure dejection. “W-what? B-but you said… you said you couldn’t live without me, Lena. Where is all this coming from? A-are you under mind control again?”

Lena shook her head. “No.” She said as she revealed the backs of both her ears to Kara to show here there were no mind control devices. “I just… realized some things that I had been ignoring and have made me rethink our relationship. I think, that we would be better off if we go our separate ways.”

Kara had tears streaming down her face. “No.” She said vehemently. “Whatever this is, whatever you’re going through we will get through it together. Please don’t push me away, Lena. I’m your girlfriend; I’m here to help you.”

 _Please, stop fighting for me. You’re making this so hard._ Lena thought. “I’m sorry I wasted your time and love, Kara. But I truly do believe this is for the best.” She said standing to leave, her heart a bleeding mess.

Kara caught Lena’s wrist. “Better for who, Lena!?” She asked frantically. “Because it sure as hell isn’t better for me! I love you, Lena. I’m _in love_ with you! Why are you doing this?!”

Lena couldn’t fight the tears in her eyes as she pulled her wrist out of Kara’s grasp. She hadn’t wanted to pull out the one card she knew would hurt Kara the most, but it seemed at this point it was necessary to do so in order to get Kara to accept the break up. “She made me realize that being with a Superhero would just take too much out of me.” She said.

Kara’s face contorted into one of pure agony, and Lena felt the worst she’d ever felt in her life. She turned and started walking out of the door when Kara called out for her desperately.

“Lena, wait!” Kara called out Lena didn’t stop, too heartbroken and guilty to look back until she heard a gut wrenching scream of pure agony followed by a loud thud. Lena immediately turned around where she saw a sight that completely demolished Lena’s soul. “ _KARA!_ ” She screamed in horror as she rushed over to a collapsed Kara whose shirt was beginning to stain with blood.

She reached Kara and began to try to lift her up, only to cause Kara to scream in agony again… Her wounds were reopened no doubt. “Kara, you **idiot**! Why would you get up?! You know you can’t walk! You can’t even sit up!”

Kara looked up at her, her eyes hooded because the pain was definitely starting to make her delirious. “Because I couldn’t let you leave.” She said weakly. “I-I'll stop, okay? J-just don’t leave me. Please.”

Lena’s heart wrenched, she hated that she caused this to happen. “You need medical attention, and you need rest.” She said, trying to redirect the conversation.

Kara shook her head. “No. I just need you.”

Lena froze, her heart melting at Kara’s words. It was becoming harder, and harder to leave, but she knew she had to. It was the only way to keep Kara safe. “Kara-,”

“I’ll stop being Supergirl. I don’t need her if it means I have to lose you to keep her.” Kara said pleadingly. “Just don’t go, Lee. Please don’t go.”

And that flabbergasted Lena. How could Kara Zor-El Danvers, hero to the world, love _Lena Luthor_ so much she’d be willing to stop saving the world for her? “Y-you’d give up being Supergirl for _me_!?” She asked, she had no idea how she was going to get Kara up without hurting her wounds worse, she was beginning to panic, Kara was  starting to bleed _a lot_.

“I’d give up anything for you,” Kara admitted.

And that was it… Lena couldn’t keep going, couldn’t keep lying. She couldn’t pretend that she hated that Kara being Supergirl was a problem. She wasn’t going to do anything but love Kara.

She knew that she was going to have to work tirelessly to find a way to heal Kara, and make her immune to Super-K. She knew that she was going to have to do a _lot_ of apologizing to Kara, and there was going to be a huge amount of work to find and **_KILL_** Lex 84, but she was done trying to hurt Kara. There was nothing more she hated than seeing Kara sad or hurt, and she refused to be the cause of either.

Lena was going to protect Kara, or she would die trying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think Lena is going to have to do now?
> 
> Will her choice to stay with Kara cause them more issues?


	44. Chapter 44

With the help of Kara 45, Lena was able to get Kara back onto the bed without causing her even more pain. She’d given Kara another dose of morphine, re-patched her wounds, and then pleaded for forgiveness, but before Kara could even speak, she fell asleep.

Lena hated herself for what she’d done; she thought that she was protecting Kara from Lex 84, when all she’d managed to do was break Kara’s heart and put her at an even higher risk of infection or worse… death. She sat there, staring at her unconscious girlfriend, filled to the brim with pure and utter regret.

“What were you thinking?” Kara 45 asked disapprovingly. “Why would you even think about breaking her heart, especially when she is so hurt?”

Lena sighed. “I wish I could tell you.” She said. “All you need to know is that I realize how utterly stupid I was to attempt it, and I regret it with every fiber of my being.”

“If you don’t think you’re going to be able to fully commit to the relationship, do her a favor and end it now before you hurt her even worse. That’s what I wish my Lena had done.” Kara 45 said, anger and pain obvious in her tone. “Don’t put her through what my Lena put me through.”

Lena wanted to scream. She didn’t want to hurt Kara, and she hated that Kara 45 was hurting. It seemed like the only thing any Lena Luthor was capable of doing, was inflicting pain on each of their Karas. She was about to resign to that fate, when she remembered one Lena Luthor who had gotten it all right… One Lena Luthor that made it all the way to the altar with her Kara…

Lena 9,886.

She knew that Lena 9,886 was in grave danger, and knew that even if Lena 45 wasn’t willing to help her with Lex 84, Lena 9,886 just might be. As soon as Kara awoke, she was going to beg for forgiveness, soothe her insecurities, love on her, and then when she fell asleep again… Lena was going to jump over to Earth 9,886.

“I’m committed to her more than I am committed to breathing,” Lena said. “I was just overwhelmed, but I instantly regretted what I said and did. I’m going to make it up to her, and I’m going to spend the rest of my life proving to her that she’s the reason I breathe.” Lena avowed passionately. “Your Lena may have been willing to break your heart, and I’m _terribly_ sorry that she did that; but I will never be capable of hurting Kara and walking away. Hurting her is the one thing that I will never be capable of doing.”

Kara 45 looked over at Kara. “Really?” She asked. “Because look at what you just put her through.”

Lena’s heart shattered all over again. Everything would be easier if she could just tell Kara 45 the truth, but that wasn’t her place, and she wasn’t willing to make Lena 45 an enemy. Kara 45, from what she knew, was safe as long as she thought Lena 45 cheated on her. So, although Kara 45’s words stung, she had to take them with a grain of salt because she knew that Kara 45 had no idea the magnitude of the situation. She knew that Kara 45 was still hurt by what Lena 45 had done to her. She knew that if she understood the entire situation, she _might_ be a little easier on Lena; but the pain and doubt that she saw in Kara 45’s eyes was warranted, because why would Kara 45 trust someone that shared a face with he woman that had ‘cheated’ on her after claiming she couldn’t live without her? “I was being an ignorant asshole, I’m not denying that.” Lena said. “I just didn’t want to hold her back. But I see now, how idiotic I was. I’m never going to do anything like that again. I love her too much, and need her too much, to ever be willing to hurt her or give her up without a fight.”

Kara 45’s doubt dissolved slightly, and she nodded. “See to it that you don’t.” She said as she walked to the bedroom door. “Don’t break her heart… She doesn’t deserve that.”

Lena watched 45 disappear and sighed. She wasn’t sure if she was doing the right thing, but she _was_ sure that she was going to do everything she could (besides breaking up with Kara) to keep Kara safe.

 

**XXX**

Two hours later, Kara stirred awake, squinting her eyes open. “Lena?” Kara croaked.

Lena was at Kara’s side in an instant. “I’m here, darling. I’m here.” She cooed.

Kara frowned. “Never do that again.” She said. “You scared me.”

“I know, baby. I’m so sorry.” Lena said as tears fell from her eyes. “I just got so scared, and I let my fears control me like a coward. I promise you right now I’m never going to pull another moronic stunt like that ever again; and I’m never going to ask you to stop being Supergirl. If I ever did, I’d expect you to leave me because that’s not fair of me to ask of you.”

Kara looked at her with concern in her eyes. “Are you sure? I-I don’t want to be a burden to you.”

“Kara, you could _never_ be a burden to me.” She avowed. “You are the light of my life, Kara. Those first six months after you found out I had lied about being kidnapped were torturous I barely survived them and had to focus wholeheartedly on science in order not to drink myself to death. I was absolutely miserable, and I _never_ want to go back to that… I wouldn’t survive it. So, if you can find it in your heart to give me one last chance, I promise you I will never let you down, and I will never hurt you again.”

Kara nodded. “We need communication, Lena. When you’re scared or worried, you have to learn to talk to me about it instead of making impulsive or rash decisions because you’re scared. I know that it’s hard, baby, but I’m your girlfriend, and we’re a team, so we have to work together. We have to be open, and honest. We have to support each other and lift each other up. We have to be honest about our feelings, we can’t keep secrets, and we can’t hurt each other. Okay?”

Lena nodded and gulped down the lump in her throat. “I promise I will be better. No more stupid decisions, and no more hiding my emotions.”

Kara smiled slightly and nodded in approval. “Okay. Good. That’s a step in the right direction.”

“S-so, you’re not angry with me?” Lena asked, nervous but hopeful.

The corner of Kara’s lips twitched downwards. “I’m not going to lie, I’m upset, and I’m hurt, and I’m concerned, but I think over time we can work through this.”

Lena’s heart sank. Kara didn’t say they _would_ work through this… She said she _thought_ that over time they _could_ work through this… Which meant that their relationship was in jeopardy. “I’m so sorry that I hurt you, Kara. All I want, more than _anything_ , is for us to be happy and safe together.”

Kara grabbed Lena’s hand and gently pulled it, Lena allowed herself to be pulled and ended up laying on her side, facing Kara. She tentatively rested her head on Kara’s shoulder and let Kara’s arm wrap under her and then around her back. She didn’t know what to do with her arm because Kara’s entire abdomen was riddled with stab wounds, so she just laid there awkwardly, causing Kara to chuckle. “You can rest your arm over my chest, Lena.”

Lena blushed and did as told, while also intertwining their legs. “Are you sure this doesn’t hurt you?”

Kara nodded. “I’m sure, Lena. Just rest. You haven’t slept since we got here, and you’ve _got_ to be exhausted.”

Lena sighed; she couldn’t argue with that. She was tired, scared for Kara’s safety, worried about Lena and Kara 9,886, and terrified that she’d ruined her relationship with Kara… but she couldn’t do anything about any of that if she didn’t get enough rest. She decided that she would give into Kara’s request and sleep. Then she would figure out a good excuse to tell Kara and go to Earth 9,886. She was sure that Lena 9,886 would be of more help than Lena 45 had been.

“You aren’t wrong… I am exhausted.” She said, nuzzling further into Kara’s side. “Good night, Kara… I love you.”

Kara kissed the top of her head. “I love you too, Lena.”

Lena took comfort in Kara’s profession of love, but it didn’t go unnoticed that Kara was no longer calling her sweet nicknames… Not baby, not sweetheart, not even Lee… Just Lena. It stung like no other, but she knew it was a small price to pay for the horrible break up attempt she’d made.

 

**XXX**

The next thing Lena knew, she was standing in the middle of the bedroom. She furrowed her brow when she looked over to the bed and saw that it was empty. “Kara?” She called out, worry swarming through her. It didn’t make sense. Kara couldn’t even stand, so how in the hell did she leave the bed?

She rose her hand to scratch her itchy eye when she saw her entire arm was covered in blood and her hand was holding a purple knife. Her heart sank, as she lifted both of her arms to see that they were both covered in blood. Then, she looked down to her feet where she saw something that sent horror and terror coursing through her body.

Kara, was laying there, a bloodied mess, her eyes open, and unblinking. There was no doubt that she was dead.

Lena collapsed to the ground, scooping up Kara’s body and letting out earth-shattering sobs. “KARA!” She cried out. “No! Baby, please! I’m so sorry. Please wake up! Please! I-I didn’t mean to! I didn’t mean to!”

Her world came crashing down around her. Her life was meaningless if she didn’t have Kara in it. She’d murdered her own Sun, and there was no reason to continue going. Guilt, sorrow, heartbreak, devastation all swam through her. “KARA!” She yelled, desperately trying to bring Kara back. “KARA PLEASE!” She sobbed relentlessly. She closed her eyes, unable to look at Kara’s mutilated corpse as she continued to sob. “Kara come back to me! Come back to me!” She cried out.

She then felt someone gently shake her body, but she didn’t open her eyes. She refused to look at what she’d done. “I’m so sorry Kara. I’m so sorry.” She cried out.

“Lena, it’s just a dream. I’m okay. It’s okay.” Kara’s gentle voice cooed.

Lena opened her eyes slowly to see that Kara was right… She was still curled into Kara’s side, her head rested on Kara’s shoulder, with Kara looking down at her with concern etched all over her face. “You’re alive?” She asked in disbelief before pulling Kara in tighter.

“I’m alive. You’re okay. We’re both okay.” Kara coed as she gently rubbed her hand up and down Lena’s back soothingly.

They just laid there like that for a while, Lena taking in the fact that Kara was still there, that she hadn’t hurt her, as she listened to the steady thud of Kara’s Kryptonian heart.  After what felt like hours, Lena’s heartache and terror dissipated, and she finally was able to relax into Kara once more.

“You want to talk about it?” Kara asked softly.

“I hurt you.” Lena said.

“You didn’t. You weren’t’ in control.” Kara said.

Lena shook her head. “In the dream. I killed you and then came out of my haze to find myself covered in your blood with your body at my feet.”

Kara squeezed Lena tightly to her side. “You would never do that, Lena. It was just a dream, and you know that now. I’m okay, I’m alive, and there’s nothing that is going to hurt us.”

Lena hated that Kara didn’t understand the severity of their current situation, but she knew that right now that amount of stress could interfere with Kara’s healing. All she could do was take comfort in the fact that Kara wasn’t afraid of her… That Kara had no doubt in her mind that Lena would never hurt her. “I never want to hurt you again, hurting you destroyed me.” She admitted.

Kara kissed the top of Lena’s head again. “You saved me; you didn’t hurt me.”

“I did earlier… I caused you to reopen six of your wounds.” Lena said sadly. “I’m so sorry I did that. I’m so sorry that I tore a wedge between us. If there was something that I could do to take it back, or to make us okay again… I would do it in a heartbeat. I hate the tension between us, I know you still love me, but now you’re not calling me anything but Lena.” She wiped away a few of her tears before she continued. “On second thought… _are_ you falling out of love with me? Are you having second thoughts about if you want to be with me?” Her heart broke at the mere thought of one of those questions being true.

Kara sighed. “I just… I don’t know, Lena. After everything we’ve been through, I thought our relationship would be solid, but it feels like it could collapse at any second.” She admitted. “Our friendship grew stronger than ever before, and my love for you has continuously deepened, but for some reason, I feel like as soon as things get tough, you’re going to try to bail again. We had just had a long conversation, where we told each other out deepest insecurities and talked through them. We had promised never to lie, or keep secrets from each other, and vowed to communicate as much and as well as possible, but as soon as you came back from your conversation with Lena 45 you tried to leave me, tried to leave me for the very same reason I told you I was insecure about, but you had promised would never be an issue. All it took was one conversation, and you had changed your mind about everything.” She sighed. “I-It’s hard for me to trust anything you say right now, because one minute you are vowing that me being a Kryptonian superhero would never cause us any problems and then the next minute you’re breaking up with me for that exact same reason.”

Lena’s heart broke. She understood why Kara felt that way; she understood why she couldn’t trust her… But none of her concerns or fears were true. She hated that she couldn’t tell her the truth, couldn’t tell her that a doppelganger of her brother was after them… was after _many_ versions of them. “Whatever it takes to win your trust back, I’ll do it.” She said.

Kara looked down. “I’m going to need time, but eventually I think we can get back to where we were.”

Lena bit her lip. Her chest felt like there was an anvil on it, and her stomach was tied up in knots because she terrified for the answer to her next question. “D-does that mean, we’re… on a break?”

Kara shook her head. “No, it means we’ve hit a very rough patch, and we have a lot of things we need to work out.”

Lena swallowed thickly a she propped herself up on her elbow so that she had a better view of Kara. This was all new territory to her. With Jack, when things got rocky, he’d break up with her for a few weeks and then they’d get back together and act like nothing had ever happened. With James, it didn’t really matter because she didn’t care enough to work through things; she just ignored it all and stayed miserable so that she could be closer to Kara’s inner circle and see her more often. But now that things were rocky with her and _Kara_ , she was petrified that things were going to fall apart. She had no idea how things like this worked; all she knew was that their relationship was in jeopardy. “And how long are you willing to work on these things before you leave me?”

Kara furrowed her brow. “What?” She asked in confusion. “We’re going to work on them together, and as long as progress is being made, there wouldn’t be a reason to leave you. I still love you, Lena. That hasn’t stopped.”

“I want you to be able to trust me again. I don’t like how things feel between us right now.” Lena sadly admitted. “I’m so in love with you, Kara. I’m so sorry for everything I said last night. I hope you know that you’re my everything. I don’t want to lose you.”

Kara brought her hand up to cup Lena’s cheek, sending hopeful butterflies fluttering through Lena. “We’re going to work hard and fight for us.” She said. “I love you, too.”

Lena smiled down at her girlfriend, she knew that things were rocky, but she was going to fight like hell to fix them, and she was never going to give up. “Can I kiss you?” She asked nervously as she stared wantonly at Kara’s lips.

The right corner of Kara’s lips turned upward, and she chuckled. “Of course, you can.” She said before using the hand that was cupping Lena’s cheek to pull Lena down and into a fervent kiss.

 

**XXX**

After cuddling with Kara for a few more hours as they talked about everything from Movies to trains, Lena finally decided it was time to go to Earth 9,886 and let her know what was happening so they could work together to figure out a way to locate and destroy Lex 84.

She sat up and stretched her arms, giving an exaggerated yawn.  She hated that she was about to lie to Kara, but she knew no other option. “So, I was thinking that perhaps I could get another one of my doppelgangers to help me find a way to heal you more quickly. I know I’m not able to bring your powers back, but at least we could get you to sit and stand on your own so that we might be able to enjoy ourselves a bit more while we’re stuck here.”

Kara looked at her worriedly. “are you sure that’s a good idea? The last time you talked to Lena 45 you came back wanting to dump me.”

Lena shook her head. “No, not this Lena… I was thinking another Lena that I met along my journey across the multiverse. Lena 9,886. She’s married to Kara 9,886. I think that she could really help me out.” She paused, but Kara still didn’t look convinced, so Lena tried to assuage her worries. “I promise you I will be safe, and I will come back to you ready to kiss you senseless.” She declared.

Kara smiled. “Okay… as long as you come back to me.” She said vulnerably.

Lena leaned down and kissed Kara with all the passion in her. “I will _always_ come back to you.”

Kara smiled, and they kissed each other one more time before Lena got up and grabbed the breaching device and activated it. Before she stepped through the portal, she turned back and looked at Kara one more time. Kara waved at her encouragingly, and Lena smiled at how beautiful she was.

She hated that she was having to lie to Kara, but she hoped that soon it would all be worth it.

“You’re the love of my life, Kara.” She said.

Kara’s face softened tremendously, and she opened her mouth to respond, but Lena jumped through the portal…. Just in case it wasn’t a response that she wanted to hear.

 

**XXX**

When Lena landed, she was in Lena 9,886’s L-Corp lab. She relaxed and let out a relieved breath, when she spotted Lena 9,886 staring intensely at a vial filled with orange liquid… But then, she lifted a bottle of scotch and took a swig.

Lena’s stomach sank… “Oh, god.. not you _too_!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think is going on with Lena 9,886?


	45. Chapter 45

Lena 9,886 looked up from the vial to face Lena confusedly. “38?” She asked. “What are you doing here? What do you mean ‘not me too’?”

Lena frowned in confusion. Was 9,886 losing her mind? “Why are you drinking?’ She asked almost demandingly. She needed 9,886, to be honest with her. She was tired of the games, and she just needed _someone_ on her side.

9,886 laughed. “Not that I need a reason, but I’m celebrating.”

“C-celebrating?! You’re _celebrating_ when the woman that you love’s life is in danger?!?” Lena asked exasperatedly.

At that, 9,886 sobered up in an instant. “What the hell are you talking about?” She asked in a cold tone as she stood up. “I was celebrating because I just found a cure for cerebral palsy.” She said as she pointed to the vial of orange liquid. “That’s what I was staring at pensively as I watched it work.” She informed. “Kara flew home to get us glasses so we could celebrate together but got called away on a Supergirl mission. She’ll be back once she’s no longer needed, but I got impatient and took a drink straight from the bottle.” She said. “Now, what the hell do you mean that the woman I love’s life is in danger?” She demanded as she walked over to Lena and stood staring at her expectantly.

“Y-you don’t know?” Lena asked, both relieved and jealous.

“Know _what_?” 9,886 challenged.

Lena gulped, and then she explained everything in great detail. She told her about how she and Kara got together a bit over a month ago, and then went on from there. She explained everything from being mind controlled and framed for the attempted murder of her girlfriend. To finding a way to make Kara immune to Kryptonite, to how Lena 45 refused to get involved and risk Kara 45’s life. She told her about how she had attempted to break up with Kara to protect her, but how Kara refused to let her go and almost killed herself trying to stop Lena from leaving.

She laid everything out on the table, and when she finished let out a relieved breath, a weight felt lifted off her chest, but before she could speak, Lena 9,886 slapped her shoulder… _hard_. “OW!” She cried as she rubbed her shoulder. “What was that for?”

“Being an idiot!” Lena 9,886 answered. “You and 45 are _both_ idiots.”

Lena furrowed her brow, utterly confused. “W-what?! The loves of our lives are in mortal danger, and you’re calling us idiots?!”

9,886 nodded fervently. “YES!” She said with a scoff. She shook her head. “Even if a Lex _was_ a genuine threat, why the hell would you keep it a secret from the woman you love? It involves her just as much as it involves you, and she has every right to know what’s going on! You think that she would appreciate knowing that you’re lying to her… _again_!? She’s going to feel betrayed, most likely even _hurt_. Your Kara is much more patient than mine… She would have left me ages ago if I put her through half the BS you’ve put your Kara through! From what you’ve told me she’s been pleading with you even before you two got together, to be honest, and stop keeping secrets from her. So why would you think this is going to be any different? Your inability to communicate is what got you into almost every single conflict you’ve had with her! Instead of telling her how you felt after she told you her secret you shunned her, instead of telling you how you felt after you saw her and Lucy together, you kept your feelings mute and then lied about being kidnapped. And I will _never_ understand how you thought it’d be more acceptable to lie and break your Kara’s heart than just telling her the God’s honest truth. For someone with such a high IQ, you’re an idiot!”

Lena was taken aback by how brutal Lena 9,886’s words were, and she would be lying if she said that they didn’t sting… but she realized that everything she was saying was true. “I-,”

9,886 cut her off. “If you don’t start communicating with her, you’re going to lose her for good.” She said sternly. “84 didn’t waste her time sending you to all of our different universes just for you to blow your chance at a relationship with your Kara.”

Lena frowned. She didn’t understand how Lena 9,886 couldn’t understand why she and Lena 45 had done what they did. “Y-you don’t seem to grasp the severity of the situation.” She said worriedly. “Lex 84 is going to _kill_ any Kara that is romantically with a Lena.”

Lena 9,886 hummed. “Is that so? Then why isn’t your Kara dead already? His plan failed, you’re not in a glass cell in the Earth 38 DEO, and Kara is still in love with you. So… why hasn’t he come back to kill her all over again?”

Lena frowned. “I-I don’t know.”

“Exactly.” 9,886 said. “You don’t know anything. Because you haven’t faced him face to face. How is he going to know if Lena 45 and Kara 45 get back together? How is he going to know if Kara 45 finds out the truth?”

Lena sighed frustratedly. “He’s a _Lex_!” She seethed exasperatedly.

“Exactly.” 9,886 nodded. “He’s a _Lex_ … not a _god_.”

Lena didn’t know what to say to that. She knew that Lex was extremely tactical, but her doppelganger had made some pretty strong points. Lex _wasn’t_ a god… and there were _multiple_ Lenas on Lena 84’s letter, so how _was_ he monitoring them all? She shook her head. She couldn’t let doubt cloud her judgment… Lex 84 was a _massive_ threat. She couldn’t underestimate him. “Perhaps he didn’t monitor me? Maybe he thinks that because I haven’t come back to L-Corp, and because Supergirl hasn’t taken back to the sky that I’m in the DEO’s prison and that Kara just didn’t survive her wounds?”

Lena 9,886 pursed her lips and nodded. “That’s a possibility, but how is he planning to monitor every other Lena and Kara?”

Lena pondered that for a moment but couldn’t come up with a solid hypothesis. “I-I don’t know.”

“And how can you protect Kara if you don’t know what the threat is?” Lena 9,886 asked?

Lena sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose with her index finger and thumb. “I don’t know.” She conceded. “It’s just… When she’s in any type of danger I panic. My logic goes out the window, and my first and only instinct is to protect her at all cost. I love her so much; it hurts.”

9,886 smiled knowingly and nodded. She walked over to her and placed both of her hands on Lena’s shoulders in an attempt to comfort her. “Believe me I understand that more than anyone. I’ve been married to my Kara for four years… Threats come and go all the time, but I, just like Lois, have to learn to cope and have faith in our Super. We can’t let our panic dictate how we react to things. Kara is a bullet proof superhero who can literally walk on the Sun. We can’t protect her better than she can protect herself… even when she’s hurt, and lying to her will only strain our relationship with her… or even ruin it completely. I understand where you were coming from, I do… believe me. But, if you want to help her, the best way to do so is to tell her the truth. Don’t ruin the trust you have.”

Lena bit her lip and nodded. “You’re right.” She felt guilty for lying, guilty for hurting Kara, and she felt dread for her impending conversation with Kara. “I’m going to tell her everything as soon as I get back, but first… do you think you could help me make my Kara’s wounds heal quicker?”

9,886 smirked. “I was planning to.” She said as she walked over to the cabinet on the far end of the lab and opened a drawer. She then pulled out three syringes. She held up the largest one first. “This is the antidote to get rid of the Super-K in her system. I invented it two years ago. It will only take about twenty minutes to work, and then you inject her with this one.” She said holding up the second largest syringe. “It will heal her wounds in about ten minutes.” Then she held up the smallest syringe. “After her wounds heal inject her with this and it will make her immune to Super-K, and it will no longer be a threat to her. This won’t give her powers back right away, but within the next two weeks your Kara should be a fully powered Kryptonian again.”

Lena’s eyes widened and joy coursed through her. She immediately ran across the room and engulfed her doppelganger in a tight embrace. “Thank you!” She all but screamed. “Thank you! Thank you! _Thank you!”_

9,886 rubbed Lena’s back gently and let out a soft chuckle. “You’re welcome. If Kara 45 ever needs any of this have Lena 45 let me know, alright?”

Lena nodded as she pulled back from the hug. “Of course.” She said. “But, um… I could still really use your help with Lex 84.”

Lena 9,886 smiled and shook her head. “I don’t think that you do, actually. I just think that you are underestimating yourself and panicking because now you who has to be the leader and not Kara.”

Lena furrowed her brow. “What do you mean?”

“Well, I think that Lex 84 is still on your Earth.” 9,886 admitted. “I think he’s waiting to see if you get ‘released’, and I think he’s going to continue to wait for quite a bit of time so that he can be sure. Because we know our brother, and he’s anything if not thorough. I think that if he _is_ on your Earth still… then you know exactly where he is, and you can make a plan from there.”

Lena smiled wide as comprehension took over her. Lena 9,886 was right… All she had to do was stop panicking about Kara and think rationally for just a few moments, and things began to click into place. L-Corp owned 18 vacation properties, 20 hotels, and 12 condominiums all throughout the world. It would take time, effort and the help of the DEO to search them all without alerting Lex 84. It would be difficult, but she knew that it was possible. She wasn’t going to let Lex 84 get away… Ever.

“Thank you,” Lena said gratefully. “I need set straight, and who better to do it than myself?” She joked.

Lena 9,886 chuckled. “Lena 84 did it for me, and I got my happily ever after.” She said. “Now it’s my turn to return the favor.” She said. “When it comes to Kara, logic and common sense goes out the window for us, but we have to learn to go pick it back up and put our heads on straight if we want to keep her safe. It’s a difficult task, but it’s worth it in the end.”

Lena nodded. “Anything is worth it if it makes Kara happier.” She said.

“Exactly how I feel.” Lena 9,886 said with a nod of approval.

Lena smiled, and prepared to turn around and activate a breaching device to send her back to Kara when Kara 9,886 arrived in a whirlwind with two glass cups in her hand. She let out a huff. “Whew! Sorry, I took so long, baby. It’s been a hell of a day.” She said before leaning in and kissing her wife. “I didn’t mean to keep you waiting.” She said huskily as she leaned her forehead against Lena 9,886’s and looked deeply into her eyes.

Lena 9,886 smiled. “Not your fault, darling. And even if it was, if you looked at me like that I couldn’t possibly hold it against you anyways.”

Lena smiled at the happy couple. The last time she saw them acting this way towards each other, she felt nauseous with envy and longing… Now she understood what they shared; and found an even stronger appreciation for their love.

She didn’t bother to interrupt the two once the glasses that Kara 9,886 had brought crashed to the ground and shattered upon impact when Kara 9,886 lifted her wife up by her thighs and pinned her to the wall. She just smiled, excited for Kara to do that to her one day, and then turned around and activated a portal back to Earth 45.

 

**XXX**

She stepped through the portal to find Kara laying in bed. Kara looked over to her and smiled widely as she used the remote to shut the TV off. “How’d it go? Find anything useful?”

Lena nodded and swallowed the lump in her throat. “Lena 9,886 had already found a way to counteract the Super-K in your system. She also found a way to heal your wounds, and then make you immune to Super-Kryptonite.” She said as she walked over to her suitcase across the room. She then unzipped the front pocket of her bag and pulled out the Kryptonite vaccine that she herself had created. She bit her lip nervously as she stared at the four syringes in her hand. “And then I found a vaccine that would make you immune to all other forms of low-grade Kryptonite.” She finished her sentence and nervously avoided meeting Kara’s eyes… She didn’t want Kara to get angry for hiding the Kryptonite vaccine from her.

“Jesus, Lena… You’re incredible.” Kara said in awe.

Lena looked up and smiled. “I just want what’s best for you.”

Kara smiled and gestured for Lena to sit down beside her. Lena did so immediately, and Kara took her hand. “But are you sure making me virtually invincible would be best for _you_?” She asked. “What if I’m infected with Red-Kryptonite again and go insane, wreaking havoc on the city?

Lena shook her head. “Not possible, Red Kryptonite is covered by the vaccine as well, and because Kryptonians aren’t able to be mind controlled or anything in that nature, you’re safe from going on a rampage. Plus, even if there was a chance that you would become a threat to the world, there’s always the ability to make a large red sun lamp to temporarily take your powers away so that you could be detained.”

“Are you sure?” Kara asked in concern.

Lena nodded with a smile. “Of course I’m sure!” She said. “I’ve never trusted someone more.”

Kara smiled and used her hand to pull Lena into a passionate kiss. “Then, I guess it’s time for me to finally get vaccinated.” She teased.

Lena laughed and shook her head in adoration. She truly was a lovestruck fool.

**XXX**

Kara had gotten all of the shots in the order Lena 9,886 ha given her, and was now sitting up on her own. Lena was beyond thrilled that she had recovered just as quickly as Lena 9,886 had said she would. Now, she was just trying to find the right words to tell Kara the truth about their situation.

She let out a shaky breath and was just about to take a stab at telling Kara the whole truth, but just as she did so, Kara attached their lips. Lena let out a surprised (but _definitely_ approving) squeal as her eyes went wide for a moment, before she closed her eyes and sank into the kiss.

Kara soon pushed Lena onto her back, and Lena’s heart was thudding with arousal and excitement in her chest. Her panties were already soaked, and her clit was throbbing with need and anticipation… She wanted this. She wanted this _badly._

She rubbed her hands up and down Kara’s back while Kara kneaded Lena’s left breast with her hand. “I can’t wait to see you, baby.” Kara husked between open mouthed kisses on Lena’s neck.

Lena gulped and let out a whimper of need. But then she remembered what she had been planning to tell Kara, and used her hand on Kara’s newly-healed abdomen to push Kara away. “W-what are you doing?” She asked, knowing full-well wat Kara had planned for them.

Kara smirked seductively. “You.” She said bluntly, causing Lena’s panties to become even wetter than before. “Do you want me to stop?”

Lena shook her head. “N-no.” She said. “B-but I need you to anyway.”

Kara frowned but immediately got off of Lena. “What’s wrong?” She asked in concern as she gently took Lena’s hand into her own.

“I want that... I want that _so bad._ ” She admitted. “But I don’t want our first time to be under false pretenses.” She said.

“False pretenses? Kara’s frown deepened at that. “What false pretenses?” She asked confusedly.

Lena bit her lip and looked away. Fear and dread coursing through her as she realized that Kara might be furious with her once she found out the truth. “I haven’t been completely honest with you. I’ve found something out, and I need to tell you the truth before I can, in good conscience, make love to you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How do you think Kara will react?
> 
> Also, for the few that have asked, you can follow me on Twitter at @SuperCatKarLena ! :)


	46. Chapter 46

Lena nervously stuttered through her entire confession. She was terrified that this was going to be it… That Kara would be done with all of Lena’s lying and end things. But Kara sat silently, staring at a specific spot on the hardwood floors, motionless as Lena explained everything. Then, when Lena was done… Kara stayed still.

Seconds felt like hours, minutes felt like months… and still, Kara said nothing.

“Kara?” Lena asked in a shaky, apprehensive, voice.

Kara didn’t look at her. “So… while we were promising to be honest, and open to each other. While we promised to not keep anything from each other anymore, you were still hiding something from me?”

Lena’s heart broke, and she bit her lip to keep the tears at bay. She was absolutely terrified. “I-I was trying to protect you.”

“How?” Kara asked coldly as she finally fixed Lena with an emotionless stare. “How would that have protected me in any way? My _body_ was hurt… my mind was not. The only thing your lies got you was me hurting myself all over again because I thought that I was going to lose you. You thought breaking my heart and preying on my insecurities was a better answer than just telling me that one of your brother’s infinite doppelgangers was after us. How was that in _any way_ going to protect me?”

Lena couldn’t stop the tears that fell as she realized that she really had messed things up again. “Please, Kara… I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you.”

Kara shook her head. “I kept being Supergirl from you… I did that to protect you, but as soon as I realized it was no longer protecting you, I told you the truth. Then you hated me for three months, but after that, you came around, and after a while, we worked out our issues and became friends again. We then, promised to never lie to each other. But you did lie… Over, and over, and _over_ again. I’ve forgiven you so many times, Lena. You’ve promised to stop lying, but then continue to do it again anyway. I’m at my wit's end. I love you, I really do, but I can’t deal with these lies anymore. I don’t think that you’re ready for a relationship. You don’t know how to communicate, and no matter how much we work together to get to a spot where communication is easy, you still lie or repress your emotions... Sometimes _both_.”

Lena choked back a sob. “Kara, please don’t do this. I can’t lose you.”

“You’re not going to lose me, Lena,” Kara said. “We will always be friends; I just don’t think right now is the best time for us to be in a relationship.”

Lena let out a sob; she didn’t even bother trying to hold it back. There was no use anyway; her heart was already destroyed all over again. “I know I messed up, Kara. I know that I’m difficult, but I love you so much that I’m completely and utterly _terrified_ of messing things up… or losing you, that I do stupid things.”

“Lena, I love you… but I can’t be with someone that constantly lies to me. The past two years I have been 100% up front and honest with you. I’ve fought hard to prove to you that I will always be here for you, that you can be open and honest with me and I will support you through anything. But to this day you still don’t believe me, and I don’t know what else there would be for me to do to prove it to you. So, at this point, I can’t accept that excuse as to why you insist on keeping secrets and withholding your feelings for me… I used to, I really did, but I can’t anymore.”

Lena’s tears continued to fall, and Kara smiled sadly as she rose her hand up and used her thumb to wipe away Lena’s tears. Lena caught Kara’s hand in her own and pressed it tightly against her own cheek. “I know it doesn’t seem like I’m teachable.” She started slowly. “I know that I have made terrible mistakes… mistakes that anyone else would have already abandoned me for… But I’ve finally learned, Kara. I’ve finally learned why Earth 9,886 is the only happy one… It’s because the rest of us are cowards. We hide behind the trauma we’ve encountered during our childhood, use it as an excuse not to trust anyone. But I’ve realized the error of my way, Kara. I’m so sorry for all the lies. I know that It’s been a recurring issue for quite sometime, but I promise things will be better. I know I don’t deserve it, and I know I don’t have any right to ask you for one, but if you could find it in your soul to give me one last chance, I promise you with everything I have, and everything that I am, I will work every day to deserve you, and I will never lie or keep a secret from you again.”

Kara stood up rapidly. “I-I need some air.” She said.

Lena’s heart sank. She knew that she had monumentally messed up… That even Kara had a breaking point, and she had been terrified that this would happen. But she had hoped with all her heart that Kara would grant her one last chance. “Kara, please.” She pleaded tearfully as she reached for Kara’s wrist, but Kara had passed her too quickly for Lena to be able to grab it. So, she chased after her through the expansive living room. “ _Please_ , Kara.” She once again begged.

“I need to think,” Kara said as she shook her head. “I just…. _Yeah_ , I need to think.” She repeated before she opened the door. She looked behind her. “Lock the door behind me. Don’t answer it for anyone but me. It’s safer that way.” She ordered before she closed the door behind her.

Lena did as she was told, twisting the bolt lock on the door and engaging the chain. She then turned around and rested her back against the door as she caved in on herself and covered her mouth with her hands as she began to sob out uncontrollably.

She was worried about Kara going outside without an image inducer… She didn’t want her to get hurt. But she was also terrified that everything was ruined. She knew that Kara had every right to have so much anger, to have so much hurt… But she hated that she did.

It hurt to see Kara so upset, it hurt to know Kara was done with their relationship, and it hurt to know that she had caused Kara pain. The past month, Lena had never been happier. After two years of utter agony after she found out that Kara was Supergirl… she’d finally won Kara’s love, and then she’d gone and fucked it all up.

She continued to cry and mentally chastise herself for over twenty minutes before she finally made her way back to the bed. She sat on the edge of the bed, going over and over Kara’s words. Knowing that they were all true, and hating herself for proving once and for all that she was never worthy of Kara’s love.

 

 

**XXX**

An hour had passed, and Lena had cried all the tears that she had. She was now, just sitting on the edge of the bed, wallowing in her own self-loathing. She couldn’t believe how stupid she’d been. Kara was right. Lena had lied so _much_ to Kara and for what? It never turned out well. It always had massively horrendous consequences… It always put them in a bad place. So why hadn’t she learned the first time?

To top it all off, the amount of lying she had done made her a massive hypocrite. She had gotten angry with Kara for (rightfully) keeping her identity a secret… Then when she and Kara had made up, Kara was wholly honest with her about everything, while Lena continued to do the same exact thing that she had been angry with Kara for… _repeatedly_.

Her self-loathing rose to an entirely new level and mixed with pure heartache as she realized that this seemed to be the final nail in the coffin… Kara no longer wanted to be with her.

Once that realization sank in, she felt the inexplicable need to drown herself in booze. She stood up from the bed and walked to the bar… where she found a single bottle of whiskey.  She searched through the cupboards and finally found a glass before opening up the bottle and pouring her an entire glass.

As soon as she lifted the glass to her lips, there was a knock at the door. She looked over to the door and debated on whether or not to chug the glass of whiskey before answering the door, but in the end, decided against it.

She walked over to the door and looked through the peephole, to find that it was, indeed, Kara. Her heart thudded rapidly in her chest as she unlocked the bolt lock and then disengaged the chain. As soon as she opened the door, she tried once more to beg for a final chance. “Kara, if you give me one last chance, I swear that I’ll-,”

She was cut off by Kara swiftly pinning her to a wall. Lena’s eyes went wide as hope, fear, and confusion swarmed through her.

Kara looked at her intently. “Never lie to me again,” Kara ordered sternly, her breath ghosting over Lena’s lips.

Lena shook her head, eyes still wide, but hope filling her soul. Lena’s entire body was tingling with desire and hope. “N-Never. I _swear_. I’ve finally learned my lesson.”

Kara smirked. “Good.” She said before crashing their lips together in a passionate kiss. Lena was stunned. She hadn’t expected their situation to turn out like that, but she immediately kissed back fervently as she let herself be overwhelmed by everything that was _Kara_. She wanted more than anything to use that kiss to show Kara just how sorry she was and just how much she loved Kara.

Her senses went into over drive on overdrive as Kara hoisted Lena up by her thighs. Lena wrapped her arms around Kara’s neck and continued to kiss Kara as Kara began to carry her to (at least Lena hoped) the bedroom.

A few moments later, Kara flopped Lena down onto the bed, and climbed on top of her so that she could continue their kiss. Their tongues continued to dance together and explore each other’s mouths until Kara pulled away from the kiss and latched her mouth onto Lena’s neck.

Kara’s lips against her skin sent Lena into oblivion. The feeling was euphoric on an entirely new level, and she couldn’t help but moan out; which caused Kara to smile against her skin, causing Lena’s already ruined underwear to become wet all over again.

And although her mind was almost overwhelmingly ready to do this, she still had some minor concerns…  Like the fact that the last person Kara had sex with was much more active and fit than Lena and that once Kara saw Lena naked, she might be disappointed… Or the fact that just over an hour ago Kara had been ready to end their relationship. And, although she most certainly wanted to keep going, she couldn’t let those two worries go unattended to. So, through her heavy breathing, she tried to speak out. “K-Kara. A-are you sure?” She stuttered out almost painfully. She was so turned on, so ready to make love to Kara, that it was practically impossible for her to speak coherently.

Kara stopped her caresses on Lena’s neck and looked into her eyes. “Are _you_?” She asked, her pupils blown.

Lena almost ignored her worries and said yes, but she knew better now. She looked away nervously. She knew that she couldn’t lie again… As much as she wanted to, as much as she wanted to just let things play out… She couldn’t lie to Kara and say that she was 100% sure that this was a good idea. But telling her the truth was going to be agonizing.  “I want this.” She answered honestly. “But I’m worried.”

Kara frowned. “Yeah…” She said climbing off of Lena. “Maybe we should talk things over first. I’m sorry, I just got carried away.”

Lena immediately missed the sensation of Kara’s body on top of hers, but she knew that talking was definitely something they should do before things went any further. “Don’t apologize… I’ve been wanting to make love to you for years.” She admitted as she nervously bit her lip. “I still do… I just want to know what it means now… And I’m a bit nervous about what you’re going to think.”

Kara furrowed her brows. “What do you mean?”

Lena nervously wrung her hands together as she tried to find the right words to explain how she was feeling without sounding idiotic, but Kara grabbed her hands to stop them from moving. “Lena, please don’t shut me out.”

Lena let out a shaky breath, Kara’s gentle grip on her hands grounding her. “I just want to know if it’s going to be break-up sex.” She admitted. “I just want to be prepared for the pain.” The mere thought was devastating to Lena. “And I-I’m not as in-shape as Lucy was, so I don’t have a six pack, and I know she did and I-,” Kara cut off her rambling with a chaste kiss, and cupped Lena’s cheeks in her hands before staring intensely in Lena’s eyes.

“I was not about to have sex with you and then walk away, Lena. It wasn’t going to be break up sex. I don’t do that. Sex isn’t a casual thing to me.” She said firmly. “And if you think for one second that I could _ever_ be disappointed by your body you have a very strong wake up call headed your way.” She said before she leaned in and kissed Lena a bit more passionately. “We aren’t breaking up.” She affirmed. “Not unless you want to.” Lena shook her head furiously, causing Kara to smile and caress Lena’s cheek with her thumb before continuing. “I thought about it while I was walking, and I decided that you seem to finally understand the importance of communication, and your remorse was nothing but genuine. I don’t believe that you are going to do it again, and I came back to tell you that. But I just couldn’t help myself and wanted you so urgently I was too hasty and decided that taking you to bed was the better choice.”

Lena smiled relieved to know that Kara was giving her one last chance. The tension in her shoulders relaxed just a bit as she pressed her cheek further into Kara’s palm. “It was certainly not unwelcomed.”

Kara chuckled. “Well, I will make a note of that.” She said with a wink, but then her face turned serious. “But, Lena… How could you _ever_ think that I wouldn’t be attracted to you? You’re all that I see whenever we’re together. To me, you’re the most beautiful woman in the world, and only an idiot would be unattracted to you.”

Lena’s heart fluttered in her chest, and her stomach floated away with butterflies. She felt the exact same way whenever Kara was within her view. “I love you.”

“I love you more, baby,” Kara said reverently as she kissed Lena’s cheek.

Lena’s heart leaped with joy… Not only did Kara say she loved her, but she called her _baby_ … The pet names were back, which meant they were on much better terms than they had been before. “I promise you, that is not possible.” She said. “It is humanly impossible to love someone more than I love you.”

Kara smirked. “Good thing I’m Kryptonian, then.” She said before pouncing on Lena and pushing her down into the bed. “Because I sure as hell love you the most.”

Lena smiled up at her girlfriend and laughed… She should have expected that. “Prove it,” Lena said daringly; and she was met with dilated ocean blue orbs staring back at her.

“Oh, I _will,_ ” Kara said seductively before groping Lena’s left breast in her hand and kissing her neck.

Lena let out a groan of pure delight. “F- _fuck_.”

Kara sat up on Lena’s hips and pulled Lena’s shirt up over her head. Lena was still nervous as Kara ogled her now bare abdomen. She was sure that Lucy had the superior body, but instead of a slightly disappointed frown that Lena had feared, Kara let out a breathless. “ _You’re gorgeous, Lena._ ”

Lena couldn’t even begin to describe the pure elation she felt just from hearing those words come from Kara’s mouth. “S-so are you, darling.”

Kara smiled. “I love you so much.” She whispered before gesturing for Lena to sit up slightly. When Lena did, Kara reached behind her back and unfastened her bra, pulling it off Lena’s arms and flinging it across the room. Kara’s eyes grew even darker as she stared down at Lena’s bare chest. “Jesus Christ Lena…” She said in awe. “You’re literally perfect.” She breathed.

Lena couldn’t believe that Kara was so attracted to her, but she saw nothing but truth, love, and lust in Kara’s eyes, so she knew it was true; and she’d never been so damn happy in her life. “I want to see you too.” She managed to croak out.

Kara smiled and nodded, taking off her own shirt and bra to reveal her gorgeous, round, and supple breasts, and the abs that Lena had fantasized about for _years_. Kara’s nipples were erect, as were Lena’s own, and Lena couldn’t stop herself from reaching up and grasping Kara’s breasts in her hand.

It was all surreal to her. That this was happening… That this was happening with _Kara_. After years of longing, years of _dreaming_ … It was all finally real.

 Soon, they were both completely naked, and Kara’s mouth was latched onto Lena’s right nipple, her tongue swirling around Lena’s areola before sucking on her nipple, sending shocks of pleasure and ecstasy through her. Then, without warning, Kara plunged three fingers deep inside Lena’s core, causing Lena to arch up in shock. “Oh!” She yelped.

Kara looked up at Lena, awe and love shining through her dilated eyes. “You’re so wet for me, baby.” She cooed as she started pumping her fingers in and out of Lena in passionate rhythm, sending pure rapture through her body.

Lena couldn’t help the moans as Kara continued to suck, lick, and practically worship her breasts while still continuing to pump her fingers in and out of her rapidly while her thumb massaged her swollen nub of nerves. She had never felt so good in her entire life, but that wasn’t much of a shock to her… it was _Kara_ after all.

Soon, she was on the brink of an orgasm… an orgasm that she was sure was going to absolutely _ruin_ her. “O-oh! F-fuck! Kara, I-I’m going to-,” Before she could even finish her sentence, her back arched, her entire body tensing tighter than it ever had before as an orgasm stronger than any she’d ever had before hit her like a truck. “Ooh! KARA!” She moaned, not caring who could hear her.

She was convulsing rapidly as the orgasm passed through her, but it didn’t divert Kara one bit as she stared down at her with wonder-filled eyes, while she continued her ministrations. “You’re so beautiful, Lena.” She said in a raspy, lust-ridden voice. “So, _so_ , beautiful.”

Lena’s heart melted at Kara’s statement while the after-shock of her climax passed through her. She was breathless as she watched Kara pull her three fingers out of Lena and then raise them to her mouth, sucking Lena’s wetness off of them. She smiled. “Mmm.” She hummed in approval. “You taste so _good_.”

Lena gulped back the new arousal that hit her and pulled Kara down into a fervent kiss. “That was the single greatest orgasm of my entire life.” She admitted once they separated.

Kara giggled gleefully as she pressed a chaste kiss to Lena’s cheek. “That was the most glorious orgasm I’ve ever watched.” She said in return.

Lena’s heart swelled. “You’re my everything, Kara.” She whispered.

Kara’s face went impossibly softer before she leaned down and kissed her fervently. “And you’re my forever, Lena.”

The finality in Kara’s tone sent shivers down Lena’s spine… The thought of forever with Kara, was something that she had been dreaming of forever.

Kara then started pressing kisses down Lena’s neck, then chest, stopping to pay homage to each of her nipples before continuing to kiss down Lena’s abdomen. She then kissed down Lena’s small patch of hair above her cunt, then swiped her tongue through Lena’s folds, the marvelous sensation causing Lena to rapidly arch further into Kara’s mouth.

Kara moaned and groaned happily as her tongue licked rapidly at Lena’s clit, and then would every so often slide downward quickly and penetrate Lena’s slit, giving Lena maximum pleasure.

Kara’s tongue felt like it was driving Lena insane with all the delectation it was granting her. It was warm, firm, and talented beyond Lena’s wildest fantasies.

Lena was on the precipice of another orgasm within just two minutes. Once Kara swirled her tongue around Lena’s throbbing clit once more, she came harder than she did the first time. Her body quaked while it was tensed up, her eyes rolled back, and… she _squirted._

She was morbidly embarrassed, but only for a fraction of a second, because Kara immediately began lapping up Lena’s cum like it was the best thing she’d ever tasted. Lena smiled; she loved the sight of Kara between her legs. Loved that she’d finally gotten to be intimate with Kara, and she felt nothing but pure bliss from it all.

When Kara was done cleaning up Lena’s mess, she wiped her mouth off with the back of her hand and then climbed back up Lena’s body. “You taste just as good as you look.”

Lena let out a low laugh. “That’s good to know.” She said humorously. She really was on cloud nine. But then, she felt the need to apologize for all the lying she’d done again, and her face sobered. “I’m so sorry for everyth-,” She was once again, interrupted by Kara pressing a kiss to her lips.

“No more apologies, Lee. We’ve moved passed it. We’ve come out stronger; and now, we have to figure out how to stop Lex 84.”

Lena frowned at the mention of their enemy, but quickly shook it off. Kara had just given her the best orgasm of her entire life. It was time to reciprocate. She slid an arm between herself and Kara until she reached Kara’s core. She looked up, eyes searching for permission and Kara gave it to her with a small smile and a kiss to her forehead. Lena finally, _finally_ swiped one finger through Kara’s core for the first time, and earned a loud, but glorious, moan from Kara.

Lena marveled at just how wet Kara was for her, overwhelmed by a sensation of unadulterated love; but wasted no time at all sticking two fingers deep inside Kara. She watched Kara’s face contort into one of decadence. Her moans were loud, her body was tense, and before Lena knew it, Kara was coming on top of her.

Feeling Kara writhe in euphoria right in her arms, and cum around her fingers made Lena’s heart race. It was simply aphrodisiacal. It was her new favorite thing.

Kara finally rested her body on top of Lena, both of them breathing heavier than ever, and Lena slipped her finger out of Kara’s core and awkwardly managed to bring her hand up to her mouth so she could finally taste her… And oh… _Oh._ Kara tasted heavenly. “You taste just as good as you look too,” Lena informed, before she closed her eyes and let herself fall asleep.

 

**XXX**

Lena awoke with Kara’s chest pressed against her back, and her strong, bare arm tightly wrapped around Lena’s slim, bare waist. She smiled delightedly before quietly whispering. “Are you awake?”

Kara used her arm to slightly squeeze Lena’s waist. “Yes. Only for a few hours though.” She informed sweetly.

Lena smiled, butterflies dancing in her stomach as she turned around to face the woman she loved. “Last night was…” Lena trailed off, unsure of what to say. Nothing seemed to do justice to just how perfect it had been.

Kara smiled. “Last night was incredible.”

“Yes,” Lena said with a chuckle. “It was. It was everything I had ever wanted it to be times ten. I never want to stop doing it.”

“Well, we have to stop _sometimes_.” Kara teased. “But I agree. I never want to be in a position to where doing that with you is no longer possible.”

Lena’s heart swelled with jubilation she couldn’t believe that this was all real. This _had_ to be a dream. “Never leave me, Kara.”

Kara smiled and brought her thumb up to softly caress Lena’s cheek. “I don’t plan to, baby.”

They sat and stared into each other’s eyes, just appreciating each other’s presence, before Kara brought up the elephant in the room. “As much as I enjoyed making love to you, and getting lost in your orgasmic face, there’s still a huge problem.” She started. “Lex 84 is still a threat, and we have to find him and catch him before things get out of hand.”

Lena nodded, hating that she couldn’t just enjoy her girlfriend’s presence because there was still a huge risk to their lives. “I agree, and I believe that as soon as you get your powers back, we need to go back home. Lex 84 has got to be staying in one of L-Corp’s international properties.”

Kara nodded. “That is a good guess, but I think that even before that, we could send Kara 45 to our Earth so she can help out our DEO while I try desperately to get a big enough adrenaline rush to regain my powers.”

Lena’s heart stopped. She didn’t want to tell Kara 45 what was going on… Lena 45 would hate her for getting her Kara involved. “B-but Lena 45 doesn’t want to tell her.”

Kara rose a brow. “Well, Lena 45 doesn’t seem to understand that Kara 45 has every right to know what’s happening… and with the cures Lea 9,886 has created for us, there’s no need for Lena 45 to worry, to begin with.”

Lena sighed and nodded. Kara was right, no matter which way they looked at it… Kara 45 had a right to know, and Lena 45 was a complete dolt for breaking Kara 45’s heart.

She was dreading that impending conversation, but right then… she didn’t want to think about that. All she wanted to do was enjoy being naked together with Kara in bed. She leaned in and kissed Kara passionately definitely planning on making love again.

Kara smirked into the kiss, seeming to catch what Lena was trying to get at, and rolled on top of Lena.

 

… There were many, _many_ orgasms that morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter obviously took a lot longer to write because, well... Smut... So, I really hope you enjoyed it.
> 
> Now... How do you think Kara 45 is going to react to the news?


	47. Chapter 47

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just started a new job that is going to dramatically decrease the amount of writing time I will have, so, unfortunately, my updates will become less frequent, and perhaps might even become weekly. I apologize in advance, I know how you guys enjoy semi-daily updates.

ThankLena hated the idea of going behind Lena 45’s back and telling Kara 45 the truth about everything, but she knew that Lena 45 would refuse either way and then try her hardest to persuade Kara not to go through with it. So, that was why she was standing in front of Kara 45’s door, holding Kara’s hand tightly.

Kara knocked once, and then looked over at Lena to give her a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry, baby. If Lena 45 is angry when she finds out we told Kara 45 the truth, I promise I’ll take the blame, okay?”

Lena smiled, and her heart melted at just how sweet Kara was, when the door opened to reveal a robe-clad Kara 45 with a furrowed brow and messy hair. “Um… _Wow_! I’m really happy to see that you’re back on your feet!” Kara 45 said with a smile as she stepped aside and allowed them to come in.

Lena quickly walked over to the familiar dining room table and sat down, Kara instantly taking a seat beside her and gently rubbing a comforting hand on Lena’s thigh. The touch grounded Lena, and she began to relax minutely.

Kara 45 sat across the table from them and looked at them curiously. “What’s going on?” She asked. “You both look like someone stabbed your dog.”

Lena bit her lip nervously and squeezed the hand that Kara had on her thigh before she prepared to speak, but Kara interrupted her before she could. “We’re here because your Lena didn’t break up with you because she fell in love with someone else, she actually broke up with you because she (foolishly) thought that by doing so she was going to protect you.”

Kara 45 scoffed. “She cheated. I’m not sure how that’s protecting me.”

“No, that’s what I’m trying to tell you,” Kara said earnestly. “She _didn’t_ cheat; in fact, there was _never_ anyone else. She lied because a Lex Luthor from another Earth told her to either dump you, or he would kill you.”

Kara 45 eyed them both. “How do you know that? How do I know she’s not just lying to you two to win me back now that she and her fling have broken up or something?”

Lena finally chimed in. “Because Lex 84 is the one that controlled me and made me stab Kara.” She informed. “This Lex is the brother of a Lena that committed suicide because her Kara died and it was her fault. She wrote a letter to all of the other Lenas that she had met, and he is going after every Lena in that letter, which means that every one of their Kara Danvers are at risk as well. And because Kara is powerless right now, I need _your_ help to catch him and put an end to his deplorableness.”

Kara 45 eyed them both for a long moment, seemingly assessing them and then conceded with a sigh. “Fine.”

 

 

**XXX**

Kara had wanted to join in on going to Earth 38 so she could be involved in the planning of their attack on Lex 84, but Lena had pleaded with her to stay on Earth 45 and wait for her to get back so she could fill her in on everything they had decided, because she didn’t want Kara, powerless, and in sight of Lex 84. She couldn’t risk her getting hurt, the mere thought of seeing Kara injured again twisted her gut and broke her heart all at the same time.

Lena was relieved that Kara was actually going to stay behind, and she had kissed her passionately in thanks before jumping through the portal with Kara 45.

The two of them landed in Lena’s penthouse, and she immediately set her plan into motion. She texted Alex first and asked her to come over immediately; she then texted Brainy, Nia, and J’onn to meet them as well. Then she got out a tablet and sat down at the table, ready to start planning a way to search all of L-Corp’s properties in a strategic manner that wouldn’t get Lex 84’s suspicions rising.

But then she realized that until the Super Friends arrived, there was nothing for her to do but wait… alone… With Kara 45.

Lena sighed and gestured for Kara 45, who was awkwardly standing in the living room, to sit down with her. She did, and then Lena tried her hand at giving Lena 45 a boost. “Your Lena loves you more than you could ever imagine, I promise you that. She didn’t want to break your heart. She was just… blinded by love.”

Kara 45 huffed our a humorless laugh and rolled her eyes. “I don’t care anymore. She decided that pretending to have betrayed me in one of the most horrible ways imaginable and trampling on my heart was easier than telling me the truth and trying to defeat Lex 84 as a team. She apparently had no faith in me whatsoever and didn’t even think about bringing in other versions of us to help, or even trying to warn them about the impending threat. She was selfish, and hurtful and I’m not going to look back. She made her choice, and I’m done. I’m moving on; I already have a date.”

Lena’s heart ached. She hated that Lena 45 had messed up so severely, and she feared for her friend’s mental health when she realized that Kara 45 was most likely never going to take her back after this. “But all she wanted to do was protect you. _Surely_ you can understand that.”

Kara 45 raised an unimpressed brow. “Protecting me at what cost, though?” She asked. “At the cost of all of the other versions of us being unassuming targets for Lex 84’s murderius attacks? At the cost of our relationship? At the cost of my self-esteem? At the cost of my broken heart? Not to mention that it was a _Lex,_ taking his word that he wouldn’t come back was brainless. He never keeps his word; he’s a pathological manipulator and liar. Nothing about what she did makes any sense to me. I’m just over all the lies and games. There were so many options of what to do out there, and she went for the worst one possible.”

“Don’t you think that she at least deserves to-,”

Lena was interrupted by Kara 45. “Listen, I understand that it’s probably hard to see one of your doppelgangers screw up her relationship, but you aren’t her. You and your Kara are happy. I’m sure that Lena 84 sent you to those multiple Earths to help you learn from all of your doppelgangers’ situations, (I know that’s what I would do if I had the chance to send my doppelgangers throughout the multiverse) but my point is, you don’t have to stress out about the status of mine and my Lena’s relationship. You aren’t Lena 45, you’re Lena 38, and you and Kara 38 are happy and in love… believe me, I’ heard you screaming it last night. No woman makes another woman make _those_ types of noises if she _doesn’t_ love her.” She said cheekily.

Lena couldn’t fight the bright red blush that crept up her face. “I-I’m sorry. I forgot about the super hearing thing…”

Kara 45 smirked. “Anyone with _ears_ could’ve heard that.” She laughed. “No super hearing necessary.”

Lena was praying for the floor to open up and swallow her whole. She had no idea how to escape that awkward situation. “Well, I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”

Kara 45 chuckled. “Yes, it will.”

Lena bit her lip to stop the smile from creeping up on her face, because honestly… She hoped it would happen many, many, _many_ , more times… For the rest of her life, really.

 

**XXX**

Alex, J’onn, Brainy, and Nia all finally arrived, and with the help of Brainy, they were able to rule out ten L-Corp properties where Lex 84 would not likely be staying.

They then, implanted an algorithm in the image inducers’ software to make it to where any non-alien using an image inducer would now be exposed; meaning that whether Lex 84 noticed it or not, he would no longer be hidden in plain sight, which would make it easier for the Super Friends and Kara 45 to find him (wherever he was).

Then they decided that since Lex 84 was a high-risk threat, they would work in teams. Alex, and J’onn would team up and search all the properties that were in America, Brainy and Nia would take all the properties in Canada, and Kara 45 would take the few properties that _weren’t_ on that side of the globe. They also decided that they couldn’t do them all in one consecutive row, and that they would have to spread them out over a few weeks, but hopefully, it wouldn’t take them that long and one of the earlier properties would be where Lex 84 was hiding.

Their plan was that if they _did_ find him, they would wait patiently for the others to come and they would collectively apprehend him as a team and bring him to the DEO… The others weren’t aware of what Lena had in store for Lex 84 once they had him.

She then thanked everyone for joining the cause and then teleported back to Earth 45 to explain everything to Kara.

 

**XXX**

“So, do you think you’ll find him?” Kara asked as she rubbed her hand gently up and down Lena’s back.

Lena was rested into Kara’s side, her head on Kara’s shoulder with an arm over her abdomen. She nodded into Kara’s shoulder. “Yes… I hope so at least.”

Kara chuckled. “There’s really no where else for him to go. I think you, and your genius mind have the perfect plan set in motion.”

Lena smiled as her chest warmed. Kara complimenting her was the most exquisite feeling she’d ever felt. “I’m glad you think so, baby. I hope you’re right.”

“I am,” Kara said matter-of-factly. “I just wish I could contribute more to the cause.”

Lena propped herself up on her elbow so that she could stare directly into Kara’s face. “You’ve saved all of us multiple times. You’ve saved the entire world, you’ve saved Argo. Now, sit back, relax, and let us do the saving for a change. You deserve a break, even if it isn’t a voluntary one.”

Kara looked up at Lena and smiled gently. “You know, I always think I couldn’t possibly fall deeper in love with you, and then you go and prove me wrong.” She said as she rose her hand up and gently caressing Lena’s cheek. “This is one of those times.” She murmured breathlessly before she leaned up and connected their lips in a fiery kiss.

Lena kissed back with a fervor, and before she knew it, she was on her back with Kara on top of her once again.

Kara 45 was right… It definitely happened again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think SuperCorp 45's fate will be?
> 
> Do you think Lena's plan to catch Lex 84 will work?


	48. Chapter 48

“You TOLD her!?” Lena 45 raged. “HOW COULD YOU!?”

Lena sighed and averted her eyes; the only thing keeping her grounded was Kara’s arm around her waist. “It had to be done.” She said, taking comfort in the way Kara squeezed her tighter in support. “She had a right to know that she was in danger and lying to the people we love never does anything but ruin relationships and hurt people,” Lena said. “It took me a long time to finally realize that, but it’s true.”

Lena 45 had tears falling down her cheeks. “Th-then where is she? If she knows the truth, why isn’t she here?”

Lena couldn’t believe that 45 thought it’d be that simple. “You lied to her about something _horrible_ , 45.” She said incredulously. “You broke her heart, and then didn’t even warn any of us about the threat that was coming! Y-,” She paused for a moment trying to tape back her own feelings of betrayal. “You didn’t warn _any_ of us about what was going to happen so that we could protect ourselves. You let us sit around with targets on our backs, and that’s why I ended up under mind control and almost killed the love of my life. I’m trying extremely hard not to hold that against you because I know it would have been a tough choice for me as well, but Kara Danvers, on any earth, has a strong moral compass. You know that she’s not only angry and hurt about being lied to, she’s also disappointed in you for choosing the more selfish option. You can’t expect her to get over what you did just because you did it out of love for her.”

Lena 45 wiped tears away from her eyes and nodded. “I couldn’t risk letting her die.”

Lena nodded as she fought back her anger and resentment towards the woman before her. “I get that, but because of that _my_ Kara almost died.” She said. “Something that your Kara finds unacceptable and selfish.”

Kara squeezed Lena’s waist and pressed a soft kiss to her temple. “You don’t have to bottle up your feelings, baby.” She whispered softly. “Let her know how you feel, you don’t have to be mean, but you do need to let it out.”

Lena shivered at the sensation of Kara’s breath against her but nodded in agreement. She knew that Kara was right. “And if I’m being totally honest, I too, feel a bit betrayed. I know that I almost made the same horrible decision about lying to Kara about what had happened, but I would have never kept it a secret from you or any of the other Lenas. If we all come together, we can undoubtedly bring Lex 84 to his knees and defeat him almost effortlessly, and that’s what I’ve done. I’ve consulted with Lena 9,886, and she gave me the equipment necessary to make our Karas invulnerable to all forms of Kryptonite. Which means, that we can now take down Lex 84 easily.”

Lena 45 stared at her. “What about the red sun?! He can easily create a red sun lamp and still hurt them! There’s no such thing as making them invulnerable to a Lex. You need to get my Kara back here so that she can stay safe!”

Lena sighed and nodded. She understood where Lena 45’s fear was coming from, but if she ever wanted a chance at being with Kara 45 ever again, she was going to have to work on herself… a _lot_. “I understand that you are terrified for her, I understand that you’re only trying to protect her, believe me, I’ve been there… But I’ve learned to understand that all I can do is try to help her while she’s out saving the world, because trying to hold her back out of fear of losing her _will_ make me lose her. Your Kara doesn’t need a protector, she needs someone who can be her partner in life, and that includes _all_ aspects of it, not just the domestic parts. Right now, she is angry, and hurt, and disappointed in you, and you’re going to have to go out of your way to prove to her that you can be that person for her…. You’ve been that person for her when Lucy 45 wasn’t able to, now you just have to prove to her that you’re _still_ that person. You have to earn her forgiveness, earn back her trust, and then work for a second chance. But what you absolutely _can not_ do is try to dictate what she can and can not handle; because only _she_ can do that, and if she miscalculates that by accident, then you can be there to help her and support her, but you have to trust that she can do things on her own. You have to have faith in her, and you have to support her. What you are trying to do is toxic, 45. I know it’s out of love, but it isn’t fair to the woman you love.”

Kara squeezed Lena to show her support before meeting her eyes and smiling proudly at her. _I’m so proud of you._ She lipped, sending shocks of pure euphoria throughout Lena’s body. She’d finally made her girlfriend proud… that’s all she could ever ask for.

“I-I never really thought of it like that.” 45 said sadly. “From the moment I first laid eyes on my Kara all I wanted was to be close to her, to get to know her and then soon I fell so madly in love with her that all I wanted was to love and protect her throughout her entire marriage that’s exactly what I did. I picked up her broken pieces and tried my hardest to glue them back together again over and over again day after day, and when that suddenly stopped, and she decided to be with me instead of Lucy, my entire life altered. Taking care of Kara wasn’t the same anymore, and I started focusing on her career as Power Girl.” Tears began to fall from her eyes rapidly. “I don’t want to lose her forever. I-I don’t want her to move on!”

Lena smiled sadly at her counterpart; she was glad that she had finally broken through to 45 and made her realize the err of her ways, but she resented the fact that it might already be too late. “You need to talk to her.” She announced. “She is already starting to move on; she has a date lined up with someone that your Alex set her up with at a game night. She’s angry and resents you, and I’m not sure if you can make it through this one, but we will never know until you try, and you _have_ to try… You can’t just give up on her now. Not after everything that you two have been through. You have to fight for her.”

45 nodded her head rapidly and wiped her eyes. “I-I should give her a little space; maybe when she comes back here for the date, I could try.”

Lena nodded and gave 45 a sympathetic smile. “I know that it’s going to be agonizing to wait, but it is for the best.”

 

**XXX**

After leaving Lena 45’s penthouse, Kara and Lena (via image inducers) made their way back to the penthouse Kara 45 was letting them stay in. They ordered take out, and were now sitting at the dining room table eating in harmony.

“Do you think that Kara 45 will forgive her?” Lena asked, worried for her friends… Worried that her own relationship would end up like theirs.

Kara bit her lip and sighed. “I don’t know, baby. If you broke my heart, lied about cheating on me, and then let the rest of the multiverse fall prey to one of your brother’s psychotic doppelgangers without even thinking about waring them, resulting in someone almost being killed, I’m not sure I could forgive you either. I don’t think Kara 45 was wrong for the way she reacted. They may end up becoming friends again somewhere along the way, but I’m really not sure even I could forgive you for that. But like you said, that was something you were never going to do. You and Lena 45 share a face, not a mind.” She said with a loving smile as she reached across the table and grabbed Lena’s hand. “No matter what happens to the 45s, you and I are going to be okay.”

Lena swallowed audibly and smiled tentatively. She loved that Kara could hear the unasked question in her query. “I know it’s foolish, but I’m just so scared. I’m going to lose you.” She admitted, finally trying her best at communicating instead of keeping her feelings and emotions bottled up.

Kara squeezed her hand and shook her head as she swallowed her mouthful of food. “It’s not foolish, Lee. It makes sense, after everything that you and I have gone through, it really does. I understand, and your feelings are perfectly reasonable and valid. I just want you to know that as long as we keep taking steps forward to improving our communication and honesty, you have absolutely nothing to worry about. I love you, and I want to be with you. You make me happy, and I don’t intend on going anywhere.”

Lena’s heart fluttered, and a single happy tear fell from her eye. Kara had absolutely no idea how much it meant to hear that come from her. “I love you. I want to be the best I can be for you.”

Kara nodded as she made a point to meet Lena’s eyes with an intense stare. “And I want to be the best I can be for you. For _us_. Don’t ever doubt that, Lena.” She said earnestly.

“S-sometimes it’s hard not to. After everything I’ve done… It’s hard to fathom why you’d waste your time on me.” Lena admitted.

Kara frowned and stood up rapidly, almost as if she was angered by what Lena had said, and Lena was just about to take back her words in fear of an argument when Kara walked over to her and gently pulled Lena up from her seat, pressing their bodies tightly together. “Everyone makes mistakes, Lena. The deciding factor on if they deserve forgiveness or not is if they learn from their mistakes and fight to be better.” She said. “You’ve learned, you’ve grown, and you’ve made an effort to do good. You’re kind, and loving, and smart as hell. You’ve saved my life countless times, just as I have saved yours. We’re an incredible team, and no matter how much fear you have inside of you, you always have more bravery. So, sure, we’ve been through a lot, but look at all that we are now. We’re a team, a _great_ team. So if you ever again wonder why I _spend_ (not waste) my time on you, just remember everything you are. You’re more than your mistakes, Lee. Remember that. We’re moving forward, not back. So looking back at your past mistakes isn’t doing us any good. Let’s focus on the present. We’re here, together, happy. Right?”

Lena smiled goofily; her heart melted into a puddle of happiness and her stomach alight with butterflies. “Right.” She agreed with a jerky nod.

Kara smiled. “Good” she stated before leaning in and kissing her passionately. “Because that’s all I want for us.”

 

**XXX**

They were laying in bed, watching Frozen. Kara was laid on her back, and Lena was curled up into the Kryptonian’s an arm over tight, firm abs. She was watching intently as Elsa sang ‘Let it Go’ when she decided to speak up. “If she isn’t a lesbian no one is.”

Kara laughed. “She definitely radiates gay energy.” She agreed.

“You radiate happy energy,” Lena concluded.

Kara looked down at her with a small smile. “Yeah?” She asked, earning a nod from Lena. “Well, you radiate _good_ energy.” She said with a soft kiss to Lena’s forehead. “And that will never change.”

Lena shivered in pure joy. “I hope not.”

She felt Kara pull her tighter to her body and they continued to watch the movie in peace.

Lena reveled in the way her body against Kara’s felt and found it incredibly hard to focus on the movie because of it. Eventually, she found herself nodding off, and fought the urge to fall asleep; but soon the world went black, and just before she fell off the plateau of consciousness and into the valley of slumber, she felt Kara gently kiss her forehead and whisper. “Sleep well, beautiful. I’ll be here when you wake.”

Lena smiled groggily and nodded lazily before unconsciousness took over her.

 

**XXX**

When she woke up, she was still cradled into Kara’s firm body, but now the TV was off, and the sun was shining. “Morning beautiful.” Kara cooed with a cheeky smile as Lena looked up at her.

Lena smiled. “I’m shocked. I slept so long. Usually, I beat the sun.”

Kara smiled. “It doesn’t matter when I wake up to me.” She said. “Because I always have you to light up my world regardless of what time it is.”

Lena’s stomach fluttered with jubilation. “God, you’re so cheesy.” She said as she leaned up and connected their lips. As soon as she pulled away, she whispered against Kara’s lips. “But I love you for it.”

Kara smiled, and opened her mouth to talk, but her stomach interrupted her with a growl. She blushed and smiled shyly.

“I guess you’re a bit hungry, huh, darling?” Lena asked with a chuckle of adoration.

Kara laughed, “A bit.”

“Then how about some waffles?” Lena asked, causing Kara to jump with excitement before getting off the bed and pulling Lena up with her so that they could kiss once more. When they pulled apart, Kara tugged Lena through the penthouse and to the kitchen, where she proceeded to gather all the ingredients they would need to make waffles.

Before they knew it, there was flour all over the counter, and Kara threw a handful of flour at an unsuspecting Lena. Lena froze in humorous disbelief before grabbing a handful of flour for herself. “Oh, it’s _on_ Miss Danvers.” She said as she hurled the flour in Kara’s direction, and (to Lena’s chagrin) almost completely missed, only just barely getting some on Kara’s sleeve.

Kara laughed unreservedly as she ran away, grabbing a few blueberries that she had grabbed for the waffles and flung them at Lena, hitting the brunette directly in the chest. They both laughed joyously, and before they knew it, they were in an all-out food war. They both became caked in waffle ingredients. Finally, after about ten minutes they calmed down, with Kara being the victor.

Kara walked over and wrapped her arms around Lena’s waist. “I will always win at anything that involves food.” She said with a smirk.

Lena laughed haughtily. “I should have known that.” She teased before leaning up and kissing her.

“Yeah… You really should have.” Kara laughed as she leaned in to kiss her girlfriend once more, but just before she could connect their lips, there was a loud and rapid knock on the door.

Kara huffed out an adorable little pout and then separated herself from Lena so that she could answer the door. When she did, Kara 45 pushed through the door frantically. “I think he’s wire tapped you!” She said worriedly.

Kara frowned, and Lena’s stomach dropped. “W-what!? How? When!?”

Kara 45 sighed and shook her head. Raising her right hand up to her forehead before reaching behind her back with her left.

Then, within three seconds, Kara 45 was gone, and there stood a Lex with a murderous glare on his face as he pointed a gun at Lena.

Lena’s mind swirled with panic for Kara and she prepared herself to be shot, but just as she did, Kara was on top of him trying to wrestle the gun out of his hand. “RUN, LENA!” Kara screamed. “Get to safety! _NOW!_ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this was worth the wait! Thank you so much for continuing to read! Please let me know what you think is going to happen!


	49. Chapter 49

Lena shook her head in utter disbelief that Kara would genuinely think Lena would leave her alone with a Lex … and while she was powerless, nonetheless. “Absolutely not!” She asserted sternly as she made to help Kara take the gun from Lex.

Kara continued to wrestle with Lex, trying as hard as she could to get the gun out of his hands, when it accidentally went off. The gun shot out loudly, scaring both Lena and Kara both and caused Lena's ears to ring. Kara was still visibly shocked,  which caused Kara to freeze for just a moment, allowing Lex to over power her and pin her to the ground.

Lena panicked as she watched the Lex point the gun straight to Kara’s forehead with a malevolent grin. “Time to die, _Kryptonian_.” He snarled.

That was enough for Lena to finally kick into action and she tackled her brother’s doppelganger to the ground. “GET AWAY FROM HER!” She screamed once they both landed on the ground.

She should have been prepared for it in hind sight, but when Lex’s fist collided with her cheek, the pain took her by surprise. Her head whipped back momentarily from the punch, but as soon as she recovered, she hauled off and punched him in the face with the full force of her body. His head did a move very similar to the one hers did, and Lena took the opportunity to reach for the gun, but once she reached for it, Lex grabbed her throat and began squeezing so hard that Lena could barely gasp for air. “Nice try, _Lee_. But I’m always going to be the superior Luthor.” He smirked.

But just as he did so, Kara slammed into him. “LET HER GO!” She screamed, and without any effort whatsoever, lifted him up by the throat with her left hand. Kara looked stunned for a moment, but quickly smirked when she realized what had happened. “I guess watching you try to kill the love of my life spiked enough adrenaline to bring back my powers. Too bad for you.” She said as she mimicked a pout before punching Lex, _hard_ , in the face.

The man grunted as his head bobbed weakly, but he still smiled. “You may think you’ve won this, _Supergirl._ But I’m not the only one.”

Kara furrowed her brow and shook him. “What does that mean!?” She asked viciously.

Lex smirked and used his left hand to weakly reach over to his watch and push a button, illuminating the room in a bright red light.

Kara immediately dropped Lex, and he smirked as he clambered over to where he had dropped his gun but frowned when he realized that Lena had it. Lena smirked. “You really thought I’d be stupid enough to let a gun just lay around with _you_ around?” She asked before she used the butt of the Glock to smash the bridge of his nose, effectively knocking him out cold.

 As soon as he fell to the ground, Lena immediately looked up at her girlfriend, who was just standing there smiling wide at her. “Like I said, babe. We make a _great_ team.” She smirked before walking over to the Lex, taking off his watch, and smashing it causing the red light to fade away. Then she walked over to Lena and wrapped her arms around her waist. “Also, watching you beat a bad guy’s ass is _very_ sexy.” She smirked.

Lena bit her lip as her heart fluttered. “Yeah?” She asked.

Kara giggled and nodded before capturing Lena’s lips in her own. “And now that my powers are back, we can go home.” She said. “We have a Lex now and if what he said is true, and he isn’t the only Lex that’s targeting all the versions of us, we need to get him to the DEO so Alex can… _interrogate_ him because I’m not about to sit idly and just hope that he’s lying and the only one. I’m not going to risk losing you.”

Lena sighed and nodded. “You’re right.” She agreed. “This might be way bigger than any of us originally had thought.”

 

**XXX**

After tying Lex up, Kara and Lena used a breaching device and went back to Earth 38 bringing him along for the ride. Alex and J’onn immediately greeted them both with relief mixed with concern once they saw who Kara was carrying.

They immediately went into action, and now Kara and Lena were in the med bay; Lena holding an ice pack over her bruised cheek. “Are you _sure_ you’re okay?”  Kara asked worriedly as she stared at her intently, clearly x-raying Lena for the thousandth time.

Lena chuckled adoringly, her heart melting at the care Kara showed for her, and she reached for Kara’s hand. “Darling, I’m fine. You don’t have to keep worrying about me. As soon as the swelling goes down, we’re going to have to tell Lena 45 about everything, and we’re going to have to get her and most likely Lena 9,886 on board as well.”

Kara frowned. “We should tell Lena 45, yes… But we should wait until after we hear what J’onn and Alex find out from the Lex we captured before we get others involved. He could be lying, and he might actually be the only Lex we need to worry about.”

“Okay.” Lena agreed, Kara had made some very solid points. “We should go and tell 45.” She said as she began to sit up on the bed, only for Kara’s firm, yet gentle hand to stop her.

“We will,” Kara said gently. “Right now, though. I just want you to rest. He punched you _really_ hard.” Kara stated with a concerned frown.

Lena smiled and relented immediately. She loved that Kara cared so much for her. She scooted over so that Kara could join her on the small medical bed, and rested her head on Kara’s chest. “I love you, Kara. I was terrified that he was going to kill you.”

Kara squeezed Lena tight. “I love you too, baby. I felt the same. But I hope now it’s all over and we can start enjoying our life together.”

Lena smiled, and her heart leaped with joy. She liked the sound of that… She hoped it was all over too. “I hope so, because I just want us to be happy again.”

“We are happy.” Kara asserted. “We’re happy together; we just have a lot going on around us. But that doesn’t change the fact that I’m happy with our relationship.”

Lena smiled… Because Kara was right. Their circumstances may not be great, but their relationship was happy, their love was strong, and they were together. That’s all Lena could really ever ask for. “No matter where I am, as long as I’m with you, I’ll be happy.” She declared as she looked up to Kara.

Kara smiled down at her. “I’m glad.” She said. “Because I feel the same way.”

 

They laid together like that for a while, Lena just relishing in Kara’s presence, and Kara snoozing adorably when Brainy came in and interrupted them. “I hate to intrude, but your cohort from Universe 45 would like to converse with you.” He said.

Kara jumped into consciousness at his unexpected arrival and sat up, bringing Lena along with her. “W-why didn’t she just come and get us?” She asked groggily, making Lena smile at just how adorable Kara was.

“Because she tried to get inside the interrogation room to kill the Lex Luthor that you acquired but J’onn intervened, and she threatened to ‘beat his ass too’ if you don’t come to speak with her now.”

Kara and Lena looked at each other and sighed before agreeing to meet with Kara 45.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter chapter, I know.. But it meant I was able to upload sooner, so I hope you enjoyed it regardless!
> 
> Do you think what the Lex said was true?


	50. Chapter 50

Kara and Lena rushed over to the interrogation room where they saw Kara 45 leaning against the door with a scowl on her face, and her arms tightly crossed over her chest.

“What’s going on?” Kara asked her doppelganger worriedly. “Why are you trying to kill him?”

Kara 45 glared. “I may not want to be with my Lena anymore, I may not trust her, I may not ever forgive her, but I _will not_ allow someone to hurt her. Lex 84 did that, so now it’s time I return the favor.”

Kara looked at Lena in shock. Neither of them had expected that. From the way Kara 45 had acted the last time they spoke, they both had thought Kara 45 hated Lena 45. “Well,” Lena started. “I certainly understand trying to avenge a friend, but we don’t even know if this is Lex 84.” She informed.

Kara 45 leaned off the wall and uncrossed her arms. “What the hell are you talking about?” She asked irritatedly. “Who else could it be!?”

Lena swallowed nervously and sighed. “We don’t know. All he said was that he’s not the only one, so he could be any Lex from the multiverse. We can’t be sure if he was just trying to scare us, or if there is actually more to this entire situation than we originally thought. But regardless, going in there and bashing in his skull will be counterproductive because we need him conscious and alive in order to get the information that we need from him.”

Kara 45 sighed angrily. “As soon as you’re done with him, I want to punch him. Repeatedly.” She said, to which both Lena and Kara agreed. “I know my Lena made the decision that ruined our relationship, I do… But she wouldn’t have had to if it weren’t for the scumbag in there.” She said angrily as she pointed to the interrogation room. “I’m going home now, though. Because you got your powers back, so I’m not really needed here anymore, and I’ve got a date to get to, and a company to run.” She said.

Lena still felt sad at the fact that Kara 45 wasn’t interested in renewing her relationship with Lena 45, but she now realized that just because the 45s weren’t together, didn’t mean that her relationship with Kara was doomed too. All she had to do was look at Lena and Kara 9,886, and that was proof in and of itself. So, instead of trying to encourage a reunion between the 45’s she accepted that Kara 45’s decision was understandable due to the circumstances and nodded her head before offering her hand out to the love of her life’s doppelganger. “Thank you for helping out around here until we were able to return.” She said with a smile. “It means a lot that we can count on you.”

Kara 45 smiled and accepted Lena’s hand; giving it a firm shake. “Of course! Anything to help out a friend.” She said as she let go. She looked back and forth between Kara and Lena and sighed. “You two look good together.” She said proudly. “For the longest time, I wasn’t sure if you two would end up together or if she’d marry Lucy… Honestly, I was shocked that you did get together, but just know that I’m rooting for you. I always will be.  You guys look happy, and even though my Lena and I didn’t work out, I have faith that you two will. I’m always there if you need me.” She said, before enveloping Kara in a hug. As soon as she pulled away from her doppelganger, she smiled at them. “Be good to each other.”

Lena’s heart swelled with admiration for the woman before her and launched herself at her, enveloping Kara 45 in a hug. “Thank you.” She said. “I really needed to hear that.”

They pulled apart, and Lena grabbed Kara’s hand as they waved goodbye to Kara 45. As soon as Kara 45 disappeared through the breach, Lena turned to Kara. “I love you.” She said fervently.

Kara chuckled adoringly. “I love you too, Lena. But right now, I think we should go tell Lena 45 what’s going on. After everything that’s happened, I think she deserves to know.”

Lena bit her lip nervously, not exactly wanting to go back to Earth 45 yet… After everything that had happened, she just wanted to sit and relax with her girlfriend, and enjoy her presence. “I agree that she should be informed.” She said, “And I do intend on telling her,” She agreed. “But, could we maybe… Go out to dinner first?”

Kara looked at her skeptically. “My sister and J’onn are interrogating a doppelganger of your brother, who just tried to kill us both, and possibly might have been behind you being mind controlled to kill me, and you want to just… Go to dinner?”

Lena averted her eyes, she knew it sounded ridiculous, but she _did_  want to go to dinner. She was exhausted, and just wanted to relax. So, she nodded. “Yes.” She said nervously before forcing her eyes to meet Kara’s.

Once their eyes connected, Kara grinned knowingly. “I’m tired too, baby.” She said, as if she could read Lena’s mind. “And I want nothing more than to relax by the beach and eat Big Belly Burger until our stomach’s protrude.” She cooed before she cupped her hands around Lena’s cheeks. “And I promise you that that’s _exactly_ what we will do… But, I really think that right now, we need to be on the defense, because we don’t know what else is looming over us right now, and we can’t keep this information from Lena 45.”

Lena huffed. “She’s the reason that you almost died, Kara! Why can’t we keep this from her, for just a _little_ bit? Just long enough for us to have a nice date night.”

Kara smiled sadly at Lena and shook her head. “You know we can’t do that, Lee. You don’t mean that.”

Lena looked into Kara’s eyes and nodded. She knew that Kara was right; she just hated that she was. “I know.” She said petulantly, causing Kara to giggle. “You owe me hundreds of kisses for rejecting my offer for a date.” She teased.

Kara laughed haughtily. “Well, we’ve got our entire lives for that.” She winked before placing a chaste kiss on Lena’s lips and then taking Lena’s hand into her own. “Now, off to Earth 45!” She paused before adding “ _Again_.”

At that, it was Lena’s turn to chuckle in admiration and shake her head. “Can we at least shower and change first?” She asked.

Kara grinned devilishly. “We can shower _together_.” She said seductively, wrapping her arms around Lena’s waist.

Lena shivered at the thought of seeing Kara’s naked body wet and soapy. “Oh, so you’re okay with having a quickie in the shower, but not having dinner with me?” She asked, raising a brow.

Kara smirked. “I plan to have dinner in the shower.” She deadpanned as she flew Lena to the DEO showers.

“I-,” Lena smiled, she knew that she could never say no to a proposition from Kara, especially when her hands were already pulling Lena’s sweater over her head. “ _Okay_.” She croaked out.

**XXX**

After the best shower of Lena’s life, Kara and Lena were standing at the door to Lena 45’s apartment. They’d been knocking for well over ten minutes, and Kara sighed before eyeing the door sternly (Which Lena now knew meant she was using her X-Ray vision.) “She’s home… she’s just ignoring us.” Kara informed.

Lena sighed. “Bust the doorknob.”

Kara looked hesitantly. “I-,”

Lena playfully rolled her eyes. “She’s a billionaire. One doorknob isn’t going to kill her.”

“Are you sure?” Kara asked, still hesitant. “I don’t want to cross a line.”

“Darling, she’s ignoring us… Which most likely means she needs us the most right now.” Lena said, because that’s precisely what Lena Luthors did by nature… Whenever they needed someone, they pushed them away.

Kara nodded. “Okay.” She said, twisting the doorknob and effectively breaking it.

They walked in, to see Lena 45 with a half-empty bottle of scotch hanging from her hands as she stared at her phone that was lying on the table.

Lena and Kara eyed each other worriedly before walking over and sitting across from 45.

Lena was just about to ask what was wrong, when she saw what was on the phone screen… Her heart broke for Lena 45, and although she still resented the woman, Lena felt the urge to comfort her… So she did. She reached out a hand and placed it comfortingly on 45’s arm.

Kara looked at Lena in confusion, but Lena gestured to the phone with her head, and Kara looked to find the Instagram picture of Kara 45 with another woman in her lap… It wasn’t posted by Kara 45, it was posted by Alex 45, but Kara 45 looked to be thoroughly enjoying herself.

Kara sighed sadly. “Are you okay?” She asked quietly.

Lena 45 cackled and rose her head to glare at Kara. “The love of my life hates my guts and is now dating some bimbo named Susan Vasquez. Do you _really_ think that I’m okay, right now?”

“On my Earth, Susan Vasquez is an incredible agent at the DEO, and a loyal friend to Alex, so I wouldn’t call her a bimbo,” Kara said in the woman’s defense. “But I do understand that you’re hurting, and I’m sorry for that.”

Lena 45 huffed and wiped her eyes. “Don’t be sorry. No one should be sorry but me. It’s my fault that she hates me.”

Kara and Lena eyed each other, having a silent conversation where Kara nodded, agreeing that Lena could divulge something that might cheer Lena 45 up just a bit.

 “She doesn’t hate you.” Lena asserted, causing Lena 45 to look at her incredulously. Lena shook her head. “She doesn’t. She’s hurt, and angry, and doesn’t trust you anymore, but she doesn’t hate you.”

45 furrowed her brow. “How do you-… What do you mean?”

“We captured a Lex earlier,” Lena informed, causing 45’s eyes to widen. “He came to the penthouse your Kara was letting us stay in, and attacked us with a gun. Luckily, Kara’s powers came back because of that, and we were able to come home. When we got there, Alex and J’onn took him in to interrogate him, and I went to the medical bay to get an ice pack for my cheek.” Lena continued. “Then while Kara and I were talking about everything, Brainy came bursting in, informing us that Kara 45 was threatening people to try to get into the interrogation room where Alex was questioning Lex. We hurried over there and talked her down. But she told us that even though she was angry with you, didn’t trust you, and didn’t want to be with you; she still would never let anyone hurt you. That doesn’t sound like a woman who hates their ex. At least not to me.”

Lena 45 had tears in her eyes, but she hurriedly wiped them away. “She’s always been too good for me.” She cried. “Even after everything I put her through, she still can’t find it in herself to hate me the way she should.”

Lena frowned; she related to that far too much, and it hit home. She nodded. “I can relate to that.” She said, which caused Kara to frown and gently grab her wrist. “ _Lena_ ,” Kara said sadly, causing Lena to look up and smile. “Anyone else in the world would hate me after everything I’ve done to you, Kara. Don’t pretend that isn’t true. No one is as forgiving as you.”

Kara still looked bothered by that statement. “Lena, I love you.”

“I know you do, Darling. And I’m grateful every day for that because I love you too.” She said raising up Kara’s hand to place a gentle kiss to it. She then turned her attention back to Lena 45. “Just know that because of Kara’s immense heart, she may one day forgive you for your transgressions and give you a second chance at friendship. I know the pain it causes to be ‘just friends’ with Kara, but you have to find a way to cope. Give her time, and space, bury yourself with work. She may come around again, or she may not. Either way, staring at pictures of her with another woman _isn’t_ the way to go. It will only make it hurt more than it already does.”

Lena 45 took a swig from he scotch bottle. “Nothing will make this hurt less.” She informed. “ _Nothing_.”

Lena frowned. She knew from experience that she was right. “45-,”

“Don’t.” 45 said with a stern shake of her head. “Don’t patronize me. Don’t try to tell me that there’s hope when we all know that the best I’m going to get now is a _possible_ friendship in the very distant future. Just don’t. I’ve ruined my life, and I know it.” She said as she threw her phone across the room. “I’m a fucking Luthor. Fucking things up is in my nature.”

Lena tensed at that, because… 45 wasn’t wrong. Fucking things up _did_ run in the family. Her insecurities and worries about her own relationship with Kara fought to overwhelm her, but Kara placed a gentle, supportive hand on her shoulder, and it was all washed away. She and Kara were happy. That’s what mattered.

“Luthors do have a tendency to ruin things,” Lena admitted. “But you can outgrow that. I did. Lena 9,886 did. You can too. I don’t know what the future holds for you and Kara 45, but I do know that there is hope for some sort of reconciliation. I also know that you don’t have to make the same mistake twice. The difference between our family and us is that we have morals. We have values. And we learn from our mistakes.”

Lena 45 gave a sad, half smile and nodded. “Thank you for trying to cheer me up. But right now, all I want to do is go to sleep.” She said. “So, thank you for coming, thank you for letting me know what’s happening with he Lex. If you find anything else out, please let me know. But right now, I’d really like to be left alone.”

Lena’s heart shattered for her friend, but she knew when she wasn’t welcomed. She sighed sadly and nodded before looking up at her girlfriend. “I guess we should get going.” She said somberly earning a nod from Kara.

“It was nice seeing you Lena 45,” Kara said sadly as she took Lena’s hand and walked out of the apartment. When they closed the door behind them, Kara welded the doorknob back on with her heat vision, sparking adoration through Lena’s entire body. “I really feel terrible for Lena 45, but I do understand why everything is happening.”

Lena nodded with a sad sigh. “I know… It’s a difficult situation in which ultimately Lena 45 did do this to herself.”

“I really hate your brother,” Kara said. “Every single version of him.”

Lena laughed. “Me too, darling.” She said, leaning up to connect their lips. “Now let’s go home.”

Kara smiled and nodded, activating the portal and they both jumped through it together.

 

**XXX**

When they landed back at the DEO on their Earth dread crept through Lena as she saw not one, not two, but _dozens_ of her brother…. With guns. Big, heavy, anti-alien guns.

Terror swept through her, and she looked over to Kara to see the same horror-filled expression on her eyes.

_Shit._

“KARA! RUN! GET HELP! THEY’RE CLONES!” They heard Alex scream from the interrogation room

Kara’s head snapped. “ALEX!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will Alex be okay?
> 
> Will Lena and Kara 45 reconcile in some way?


	51. Chapter 51

Lena watched as Kara’s face went from terrified for her sister to infuriated for her as she glared dangerously at the group of clones. She clenched her fist and was clearly about to wipe the floor with the Lexes when one of them laughed scathingly and tapped a watch identical to the one that the Lex that they had captured on Earth 45 used to let out a red sun light.

Lena’s heart sank. Kara wasn’t immune to red sun yet… And if she were to get shot by one of the humongous anti-alien weapons the Lexes were holding, she’d die instantly. As soon as the red light began to illuminate the room, Lena reactivated the portal to Earth 45 and pulled Kara through it with her. There was absolutely no way in hell that she was going to let Kara die.

When they landed in the middle of the Penthouse Kara 45 had allowed them to stay in, Kara turned to her with a confused, but palpably furious expression. “WHAT THE HELL!?” She angrily exclaimed. “THEY HAVE ALEX! SEND US BACK!”

Lena panicked and dodged Kara’s attempt to take the extrapolator. She then threw it on the ground and crushed it. “We can’t go back!” Lena explained. “They have a device that can mimic a red sun! You’d be powerless and they’d kill you! We need help first!”

Kara shook her head vigorously. “I need to save Alex!” She exclaimed angrily.

Lena knew that Kara would be angry at her for this, but she hoped more than anything that she could talk her down and they would be okay… But as she looked at the fury in Kara’s eyes, she wasn’t so sure about that. One thing Lena learned, was that if you messed with one of the Danvers sisters, you’d get the full wrath of the other. Alex was the one thing Lena knew not to test Kara on; and now that she did, she feared the worst. “I-I know, darling. Believe me I do! But they have the ability to swipe your powers away from you, and if they do that then they’ll kill you; and you’d be no help to Alex if you were dead.”

Her heart was thudding anxiously in her chest as Kara walked closer to her, but then she stopped and looked at her stoically. “Where do we go for help? Lena 45 is a mess. Kara 45 would be in the same predicament as me… What do we do?”

Lena bit her lip… There was only one thing that they _could_ do. “We have to go to Earth 9,886 and ask if she has anything to help us. It’s the only thing we can do.” Kara looked conflicted. It was obvious that she wanted to go back home and risk it all to save Alex, but she also knew that getting others involved might be the better option. But then, something happened that broke Lena’s heart… Tears began to fall from Kara’s eyes, and despite the tangible tension between them, Lena’s first instinct was to wrap her arms around Kara and hold her while she cried. “Shhh.” She cooed. “I know my brother, and right now, Alex is the only leverage he has against you. He isn’t going to hurt her when she’s all he has. Alex will be okay. You’ll save her. You always do.”

It worried Lena that Kara didn’t return her embrace, but she at the moment could only focus on Kara’s sobs. It broke her heart to see Kara this way.

“I’m scared, Lee.” Kara admitted tearfully. “What if we don’t find a way to make red sunlight powerless against me? What am I to do then?! I can’t lose her, Lena!”

Lena tightened her hold. “You won’t lose her. We will find a way, we always do. But right now, staying here isn’t getting us anywhere. We have to go to Earth 9,886 and hope that she has something that could help protect you against a red sun, and after that, we will go home, and you’ll defeat all the clones of my brother, so you can save your sister and we can continue living a happy, normal life together.”

Kara sighed but nodded. “Well you just broke the extrapolator, so what are we supposed to do now?”

Lena frowned… She hadn’t thought about that. “I-…” She sighed defeatedly when she realized there was no other alternative. “We’re going to have to go to Lena 45.”

Kara clenched her jaw and nodded. “Then let’s get going.” She said.

 

**XXX**

They reached Lena 45’s apartment in record time because Kara had insisted that time was of the essence and she needed to fly them there. But they had been knocking for five minutes straight to no avail… No one was home.

Kara frowned and looked at Lena with a whirlwind of emotions in her eyes, none of which were pleasant ones, which further worried her. “She’s not here. We should try her labs.”

Lena worried her bottom lip but agreed. “Alright.” She agreed.

 

**XXX**

They arrived at Lena 45’s lab and found nothing. Worry for her doppelganger started to spread through Lena when Kara spoke. “Maybe she’s at her office?” She suggested.

Lena nodded. “Right. That’s a good theory.” She said.

They made their way through the building, and finally reached the doors of Lena 45’s office, just in time to see Lena 45 standing in front of her desk tearfully speaking to Kara 45, who was in her Power Girl uniform standing in the doorway of the balcony. “Baby, please! Don’t you understand!? I couldn’t lose you! If there had been any other option I would hav-.”

“There _was_ , Lena!” Kara 45 said desperately, tears in her eyes. “Why can’t you see that?! I know why you did it but being scared of losing me isn’t an excuse! You were willing to let _all_ the other versions of us die! You were willing to lie and break my heart instead of just letting me in and working with other versions of us to take this Lex down! Kara 38 almost _died_ because you didn’t warn them! Lena 38 almost went down for her death! That all could have been avoided if you had just _told the truth!_ ”

Lena 45 made to reach for Kara 45, but Kara dodged her hand. “Don’t.” She said firmly, causing a look of devastation to spread across Lena 45’s face. “I don’t even know who you are anymore!” She said, her voice cracking and shaky.

Lena 45’s lip quivered. “ _Kara_ , please.”

Kara 45 shook her head. “No. I’ve been more than fair to you! I let you explain yourself, even when I really didn’t have to, and your explanation _still_ didn’t justify all the lying and omitting you did! The Lena that I know? The Lena that I _loved_? The Lena who I’ve been through hell and back with? She’d have never done _any_ of this! She would have never hurt me, no matter what, and she would have had enough faith in me to protect myself that she would have told me everything. She wouldn’t have been selfish. She wouldn’t have let others go oblivious to the dangers that they were in. Not if she could help it. So, no. Don’t try to touch me, not until you’re finally Lena again… Then, maybe some day we could be friends again. But right now? Right now I look at you and I see a total stranger… A stranger that I don’t necessarily want to get to know.”

Lena’s heart broke watching that happen. It was almost as if she were watching herself and Kara in a mirror, especially after their small argument after she breached them to Earth 45 instead of letting Kara try to save Alex. She wiped a stray tear and watched as Lena 45 broke down as Kara 45 turned away and blasted off into the sky.

As soon as Kara 45 disappeared, instinct kicked in, and without even thinking, Lena ran into the office and enveloped Lena 45 in a tight embrace. “Shhh. I know.” She cooed. “Just let it out.”

As 45 broke down and sobbed violently in Lena’s arms, Kara stood awkwardly in the doorway. She looked conflicted; as if she desperately wanted to ask Lena 45 for an extrapolator, but she also didn’t want to bother her at a time like this.

Lena offered Kara a sad smile, hoping for Kara to just show _any_ sign that she wasn’t angry with her, but Kara’s face stayed the same, and her arms came up to cross over her chest. It stung, Lena couldn’t deny that, but she understood… Kara loved her sister more than anyone, Alex had helped her through her entire life, she was Kara’s rock, and even Lena should know not to try to come between the two of them… She just hoped that breaching Kara here instead of letting her tempt fate with the Lex army wouldn’t be a fatal error for their relationship.

They stayed that way for about ten minutes, with Kara visibly getting more and more restless, until Lena 45 finally pulled herself away and wiped at her eyes. She sniffed and then spoke. “S-sorry you had to see that.” She cried. “But why are you here?”

Lena looked to Kara nervously, who was finally walking into the room. “I need help finding something that will make me immune to Red Sunlight, and we think Lena 9,886 will be able to help us, but.” She looked pointedly at Lena. “Our extrapolator broke.” She said before gently eying Lena 45 again. “Would you be able to lend us one?”

Lena 45 furrowed her brow. “Why? What’s happened?”She asked in concern, to which Kara responded with a full explanation of events that happened before Lena teleported them right back to Earth 45.

45 frowned but nodded and reached into her desk drawer to pull out a breaching device. “Here you go. Keep it.” She said earnestly. “But I’d recommend going to Lena 109 instead of 9,886. In the process of trying to fix Alex 109’s spine, Lena 109 also tried to make Kara 109 completely immortal, so I think she has the perfect device.”

Kara gratefully accepted the extrapolator and smiled. “Thank you, 45.” She said as she placed a gentle hand on Lena 45’s shoulder. “That helps tremendously.” She smiled, sympathetically at her girlfriend’s doppelganger. “I hope things turn around for you.” She said, as Lena came walked around to her.

45 shrugged. “It won’t.”

Lena’s heart ached for her friend, but at the moment, there were more pressing issues at hand and they needed to get going. She hated the idea of going back to Earth 109, she didn’t want to see another Earth where Kara hated Lena, she didn’t want Kara to see what she was capable of causing Alex, especially after their earlier disagreement about Lena making them abandon Alex. But there was no time to deliberate, Lena 109 was their best hope at making Kara able to defeat the Lex clones and save Alex… So, Earth 109 is where they would go.

 

**XXX**

They breached right into Lena 109’s lab, where she was glaring at a microscope. She lifted her head as soon as she registered that she had visitors and faced Lena with a proud grin as she looked between her and Kara. There was still raw and obvious pain in her eyes, but she masked it with a façade now. “It’s been a long while, 38.” She said. “But I’m glad to see that your journey across the multiverse was a success.”

Lena swallowed thickly and smiled back at her doppelganger. It had been a very long time since she’d seen her, but she remembered her like it was yesterday. She accepted 109’s offered hand and shook it well. “Yes, well… We owe a lot of that to our beloved 84.” She said with a sad smile.

Lena 109’s face saddened at the mention of their fallen doppelganger. “I miss her every day.” She said.

Lena nodded. “I think of her often, myself.” She admitted. “But sadly, I’m not here to boast about mine and Kara’s relationship.” She said, because truth be told, she was scared for their relationship at that moment. “We’re here because we need your help.”

109 perked up at that. “Oh?”

Lena nodded, and continued to explain everything from start to finish. 109 listened intently, and was visibly angered by what their brother’s doppelganger had caused. “I do have just the device.” 109 stated. “But the only problem is, my Kara has it, and it would take me weeks to create another one, and from the sounds of it you don’t even have hours.”

Lena frowned as she saw Kara stiffen like a board. Her eyes were even more worried, but unlike last time where she held herself back with Lena 45, she wasted no time furthering the conversation. “Would it be possible to talk to her? To borrow whatever gadget it is so that I can save my Alex?”

Lena 109 sighed heavily. “She and I still aren’t on great terms… but I think if you explain to her that you need it to save _your_ Alex, she’d give it to you.”

Kara smiled a genuine smile. “Fantastic!”

Kara swept Lena into her arms and prepared to fly them away, when she paused and frowned at Lena 109 when she saw how visibly sad she was. “Would you like to come with us?”

109 smiled sadly and shook her head. “She wouldn’t want me there. I made a device that could help Alex walk, but… it just caused her pain so we’re back at square one.”

Kara once again looked conflicted before she finally looked Lena in the eyes. “What about the harun-el you were working on a few years back? Would that be able to fix Alex 10’s spine9?”

Lena bit her lip. “It’d give Alex 109 some severe side effects. But it’d work.”

 “Right, but you could manage those side effects, right?” Kara  inquired.

“Well, yes. I suppose I could.”

Kara nodded as a look of determination spread across her face. “Then so could she.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been a while, and I apologize for that. Work is hectic. But, there should only be a few more chapters left. I hope this chapter was enjoyable!
> 
> Do you think they'll be able to help Alex 109 walk again?


	52. Chapter 52

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! I'm sorry about the long wait. I hope this was worth it!

Lena nodded, “Yes… She most likely would be able to.”

“Good,” Kara said with a curt nod. “Then once we save my Alex, you two can work together to save hers.” She said. “But right now, we need to talk to Kara 109 so that I can save my sister.”

Lena’s heart ached at the way Kara was handling herself around her, she could feel the tension between them, could feel the animosity growing, but she nodded. She hated the idea of seeing Kara 109, but she knew that Kara was right. They couldn’t focus on fixing Alex 109, until _their_ Alex was safe.

Lena looked over at her doppelganger, who had a hopeful glint in her eyes at the promise of help to fix Alex 109’s spine, but the hope couldn’t even come close to hiding the anguish she was still feeling. “We’re going to get the device, save our Alex, and then I’m going to help you fix what happened to your Alex.” She vowed. “I promise.”

Lena 109 offered her a shaky smile before she nodded once. “I’ll keep you to that.” She said in a broken voice.

Lena swallowed the lump in her throat and smiled at her doppelganger before releasing a shaky breath and turning to the woman that she loved. “Let’s do this.” She said with as much confidence as she could muster.

 

**XXX**

They reached Kara 109’s loft within minutes, and Kara wasted no time knocking frantically on the door.

Lena’s heart was thudding rapidly in her chest… She wasn’t prepared to see Kara 109’s disdain for her… Or Alex 109’s injury… She was terrified about how the sight would further damage her and Kara’s relationship.

Finally, after what felt like hours, the door opened to show Alex Danvers of Earth 109 frowning in confusion as she sat in her wheelchair. She pulled out an anti-alien gun, pointing it straight at Kara. “Who the hell are you!?” She asked angrily. She then eyed Lena. “Oh, for fuck's sake, Lena… Have you come to finish me off with a Bizarro or something?” She asked pointedly.

Lena’s heart shattered at the accusation, and the unadulterated distrust and fury Alex aimed at her. She solemnly shook her head. “N-no. W-we are not from your Earth. See?” She wiped at her cheek to show that there was no make-up covering Lena 109’s massive scar. “We are from Earth 38, and we’ve come to seek your help. There are dozens of Lex Luthor clones holding our Alex hostage, and one of them has a device that mimics a red sun. The red sun removes Kara’s powers, just as it does to your Kara’s, so we need the device that your Lena made for your Kara to make her immune to the red sun. It’s the only hope we have of my Kara being able to stop them and save our Alex.”

Alex 109 looked back and forth between the two of them, seemingly dumbfounded. After a few moments she finally found her voice. “Why should I trust _you_?” She asked angrily.

Lena frowned, she felt helpless… Because truthfully, she didn’t have a good reason for Alex to trust someone that shared identical DNA with the person that put her in a wheelchair. She looked helplessly at Kara for guidance, but Kara was frozen, a look of pure devastation on her face as she stared down at a paralyzed version of her sister. Her bottom lip was quivering, her eyes were glistening with unshed tears, and Lena started to reach a comforting hand towards her, but thought better of it, realizing that she was far too overwhelmed to be comforted… Especially by _Lena_ none the less.

“Y-you have no reason to.” She admitted. “But-,”

“But you should trust me when I say that just like your Kara, I would do whatever it takes to protect my sister.” Kara interrupted, standing up straight and wiping at her eyes. “I understand if you can’t trust any version of the woman that put you in this wheelchair, and I don’t have time to try to get you to. All I have time for is to plead with you to let us borrow whatever device it was that your Lena gave your sister to protect her from Red Sunrays. All I want is to save my sister. I can’t lose her, don’t you understand?!” Kara said desperately with a broken voice. “She’s been my home since I was thirteen, and I can’t lose another home. I can’t lose _another_ person I love.”

Something about Kara’s plea seemed to resonate with Alex 109, and Lena saw her visibly soften, and without another thought, she pushed the button on her watch, and within an instant Kara 109 was in front of Alex, guarding her sister against the intruders with a furious glare. “What do you want?” She asked in a deadly growl.

Alex 109 placed a calming hand on her sister’s arm. “Kar’, it’s okay. She isn’t a clone. Lena isn’t controlling her.” Alex reassured, and it broke Lena’s heart that there was an Earth where Kara distrusted her so badly that she would even think that Lena was capable of such horrendous things.

Kara 109 visibly calmed down, but she was still on high alert, until Kara explained everything all over again. When Kara finished her explanation Kara 109 seemed to be willing to help, but still seemed wary of Lena. She however didn’t voice her concerns, instead taking off a bracelet she was wearing. “If you push this button right here.” She said as she pointed to a red button. “It will activate a white sunbeam. It will make you even stronger than a regular yellow sun does, and will protect you against red sunbeams.”

Kara gratefully took the bracelet and thanked her doppelganger. “Thank you!” She said earnestly. “Thank you _so much_.”

Kara 109 smiled sadly. “Of _course_. I know how much our sisters mean to us. I would _never_ refuse the chance to save _any_ version of her.”

Kara smiled and hugged her counterpart before looking at Lena and nodding. Lena activated the portal back to their home Earth, and they stepped through.

Lena was still worried about a ton of things, but she was most of all hoped that Alex would be okay… Because she cared for Alex and didn’t want to see any harm come to the woman she hoped would soon one day be her sister-in-law, but also because if Alex was hurt in any way, she wasn’t sure there would be any hope at all of keeping Kara in her life.

 

**XXX**

When they landed back in the DEO Lena’s heart sank as she saw an army of her brother’s clones hold guns to each of Kara’s loved ones’ heads. Alex, J’onn, Eliza, Brainy, and Nia were all on their knees, with a clone behind each of them, pointing the muzzle of an anti-alien gun to their skulls.

Kara’s eyes widened. “LET THEM GO!” She screamed angrily.

All the clones smirked and shook their heads in unison. “Your life, for theirs.” One of them said.

Kara looked over her found family, pained eyes and quivering lips. The sight broke Lena’s heart all over again. The pain Kara was feeling was palpable, and all she wanted to do was take it away from her.

After a moment, Kara met Alex’s eyes for just a moment, and they seemed to have a silent conversation, before Alex’s eyes went wide in panic and she started shaking her head frantically and struggling to scream at Kara through the tape that was covering her mouth.

Kara then met Lena’s confused, yet terrified eyes and mouthed “Trust me,” to her before she smiled sadly and then turned to the Lex that had spoken. “If I surrender, will you leave everyone alone? _Forever_?”

The Lex that had been talking smirked at his sister, then made eye contact with Kara and nodded. “Those are terms I can agree to.” He said. “Your life in exchange for peace throughout the multiverse.”

Lena’s heart started thudding the fastest it ever had with panic as she watched Kara genuinely think about giving herself up after everything that they’d gone through to get the device so they could defeat the Lex army. “KARA! What are you thinking!? No! You can’t let him get to you! You can’t risk it!” Lena said as she yanked fruitlessly at Kara’s arm. Panic, and heartbreak coursing through her veins

Kara looked over at Lena, pain in her eyes. “All I’ve ever done since I got to this planet was put everyone I love in danger.” She said melancholily. She looked over to her adopted family, all of them having panicked eyes, especially Alex. “If I die, everyone that I love will be _so much_ safer. Lex will leave everyone alone. Life can go on like normal.”

Lena’s heart was pounding rapidly in her chest as she watched Kara walk towards the Lex that spoke. “KARA! NO!” She screamed as she tried to run after her, but a clone stopped her so she tried her words. “MY LIFE WON’T BE THE SAME!” She cried. “IF YOU DO THIS I WON’T HAVE A LIFE!” She sobbed out, her heart breaking further with each passing breath. “NEITHER WILL ALEX! OR YOUR MOTHER!”

Kara gave Lena a pained look before looking over to her sister, and the rest of her family. The Lex pointed the anti-alien gun straight at Kara’s forehead and activated his red sun watch, which meant the only thing that could save Kara now was the watch from Earth 109.

“KARA! PLEASE!” Lena screamed out in agony. She couldn’t even begin to fathom why Kara didn’t just activate the Earth 109’s watch and wipe the floor with all of the clone Army then… She understood that there was a risk of one of her loved ones getting shot, but no matter what, that was the gravity of that situation… The Superfriends were going to be in danger regardless of how everything played out.

Kara looked at Lena apologetically while the Lex smiled devilishly at Lena, taking pride in the pain he was causing her.

“Wait. Wait.” Kara said solemnly, unable to make eye contact with anyone. “At least have your goons take their guns off of my family. Let them go, and then I will let you shoot me.”

Lex raised his eyebrows but shrugged. “I’ll have them take the guns off them but I’m not letting them go until there’s a round of kryptonite bullets through your skull.” He announced, once again terrifying Lena.

Kara pursed her lips in thought but then nodded in acquiescence. The Leading Lex motioned for his men to lower their weapons, and as soon as he did that, everything was a blur. Lena wasn’t sure what happened… All she knew was that there was a huge blur, and then there were six loud gunshots which were immediately followed by  terror coursing through her veins for Kara as something very hard, and very blunt, cracking into the back of her skull, causing the world to face into nothingness.

 

**XXX**

She awoke an undetermined amount of time later, with a _massive_ migraine, blurry vision, and a racing heart as she shot up from whatever she was laying on.  She ignored the instant nausea and worsened migraine anyway… The only thing she could focus on was how scared she was for the love of her life. “KARA!” She screamed out in panic, praying to any deity that was out there that she hadn’t just lost the love of her life within an instant.

“Shhhhh.” A familiar voice cooed. “She’s alive. It’s okay.”

Lena blinked rapidly, trying to see if she was only hearing things, but when her eyes were finally able to focus on the woman in front of her, her entire body relaxed back into the medical bed. “ _Nia_.” She sighed in relief.

The Naltorian smiled sadly at the woman. “Welcome back to the present.” She teased.

Lena chuckled for just a moment until she realized, that Kara was alive, but hadn’t been with her when she woke up, and the tight aching feeling in her chest grew insurmountably as her fears came back full force… Kara was angry with her for putting Alex’s life in jeopardy, and seeing what happened to Alex 109; seeing what Lena was capable of causing, had only further ruined their relationship.

Tears cascaded down her eyes, and Nia furrowed her brow, a look of concern growing on her face. “Lena? Are you okay? Are you in pain?”

“W-where is she? Where’s Alex? Brainy?”

Nia nervously bit at her lip and sighed. “Alex is in another medical bay. Brainy got hit in the head even harder than _you_ did by one of those guns, so he needed more in-depth monitoring, which only Alex could do. She didn’t want you to wake up alone though, so she sent me over here to be with you.”

Lena nodded, fighting back tears. She didn’t know how everyone survived, to be frank she didn’t even know if it mattered; because it was obvious that Kara didn’t see her worthy enough to be graced by her presence anymore… Kara hated her.“Because Kara didn’t want to be here, so out of pity Alex sent you as a consolation prize, right?” She asked in a small, shaky, tearful voice. Her heart was on fire, her soul felt as if it was completely eviscerated as tears finally broke free. “She hates me now, right?” Her voice came out as barely even a whisper at the last word.

Nia looked at her in sheer confusion. “What? No! She just left less than thirty minutes ago when Alex said you would wake up just fine. She went back to Earth 109 to return the white-sun bracelet and give them the Harun-El cure. She should be back any minute.”

Lena didn’t know whether to believe Nia’s story or not… Nia could just be lying to her so that Lena’s mind could heal and she was strong enough to handle the traumatic news. Or, perhaps… Lena was _actually_ still unconscious, and this was the best case scenario her mind could come up with.

Either way, Lena didn’t quite believe that Nia was telling the truth, until a breach opened right at the foot of her bed, and Kara came walking through it.

Lena’s heart stopped as she saw Kara’s face; unmarred, and worried. “ _Kara_ …” She whispered.

Kara offered her a tentative smile. “You’re up!” She said.

Lena’s heart was thudding rapidly. “I’m up.” She croaked out nervously. She was so nervous that she hadn’t noticed Nia quietly slip out of the room.

“How is your head?” Kara asked with a worried frown. “That clone hit you pretty hard.”

Lena fought back the anxiety and apprehension that was threatening to close her throat. “It hurts, but I think I’m going to be okay.”

Kara nodded. “You had me worried there for a little bit.” She said. “As soon as I saw the clones lower their weapons from Alex, J’onn, Brainy, and Nia I immediately activated the white-sun bracelet and used my super speed to take them out before pummeling the actual Lex Doppelganger and deactivating the clones… but somehow before I could see it one of the clones used the butt of their gun to knock you out. I was really worried about you. I mean… you’ve already had _so many_ concussions, I was scared that this would be one too many. When Alex told me that  you were going to be okay I practically passed out with relief.” Kara said with a terse smile.

Lena couldn’t help but chuckle at Kara’s wording, but she could see the tension in Kara’s shoulders, could see the forcedness of her smile… She knew what was coming, so she decided to bite the bullet. She swallowed thickly at the lump in her throat and spoke. “I know what’s about to happen.” She croaked out sadly. “I’m just asking that you hear me out before you finally do it.”

Kara furrowed her brows in what appeared to be genuine confusion, but she crossed her arms over her chest and nodded in agreement anyway; staying silent, and staying rooted standing in her place at the foot end of Lena’s bed.

Lena inhaled deeply and let out a shaky breath before starting. “Anyone that knows you knows that Alex is the most important person in your life.” She began. “I also know that I risked Alex’s life today. I _know_ that. It’s why you were so distant with me the entire time we were on Earth 109, and it’s why seeing Alex 109 in a wheelchair caused an even bigger right between us. Because you now see what I’m capable of.” She admitted tears stealing her cheeks, “But I didn’t pull you through the breach because I wanted to hurt Alex, and I certainly didn’t do it to hurt _you_. I could _never_ intentionally hurt either of you. I did it because I couldn’t lose you… I _can’t_ lose you, Kara. The thought of you dying or getting hurt destroys every single piece of me, Kara so I pulled you out of that situation so that you wouldn’t die. I know that you don’t want to be with me because of that, I know that you’re angry, and that what you saw on Earth 109 is terrifying, and only solidified your decision… I know that you could never be with someone that has the capability to hurt the most important person in your life, but please… just think about in the very distant future, giving me a chance to at least be your friend again.” Her tears were waterfalls along her face. “Please know that I love you more than anything, and that I will do a _nything_ to make this right.” She finished; her body too overcome with sobs to continue speaking further.

Kara frowned, and shook her head. “Lena…” she said sadly. She started moving from her position at the foot of the bed, and began to walk closer to the head of it.

“You’re right about one thing…” she agreed. “I could _never_ be with someone that I thought was capable of hurting the most important person in my life.”

Lena nodded, her heart exploding with pain at Kara’s confirmation. “I-I understand…” She croaked out.

Kara shook her head. “You didn’t let me finish.” She said while sitting down on the side of Lena’s bed and taking her hand in her own. “I could _never_ be with someone that I thought was capable of hurting the most important person in my life.” She said. “Which yes, includes my sister… but you mean just as much to me as Alex does, Lena… You two are the most important people in the entire galaxy to me. You aren’t capable of hurting anyone, unless they were trying to hurt you or someone else first. You aren’t your Earth 109 counterpart, Lena, and I’m not leaving you. I’m not even _mad_ at you, I’m just happy that this is all over, and that you’re okay.  That we can finally move past all of this craziness and start living our lives.”

Lena bit her trembling lip, she wanted to believe what Kara was saying, but the way Kara had been acting didn’t line up with what she was saying now. “B-but the way you looked at me on Earth 109? The way you were acting? I thought- I thought you were done with me.”

Kara looked at her with so much confliction and sorrow in her eyes as she shook her head. “No, Lena. I was worried about my sister. I was worried about not making it in time, about coming back to find that my sister was dead, or that the world was overthrown by a Lex Luthor army… I was scared, I was stressed. I wasn’t angry with you, Lena. I’m _still_ not. I’m glad you did what you did, because if you hadn’t I’d probably be dead right now… Alex too. You did nothing wrong, Lena…” Kara reassured, squeezing Lena’s hand gently before bringing it up to her lips and pressing a soft, tender kiss to Lena’s palm. “And in the future, please know that if we have disagreements in the future, or if I get angry, or we have an argument, that doesn’t mean I’m instantly going to leave you, Lena. I’m not sure what else I can do to prove that to you… Everything I do just seems to fall short.” Kara said, her eyes looking pained.

Lena was beyond euphoric that Kara had no intention of leaving her, that they were okay; but her heart ached at the sight of Kara hurting because of something she’d done, and she yearned to take that away. “You could _never_ fall short, Kara.”

Kara lowered her gaze. “Then why is it that whenever we disagree, you instantly assume the worst, Lena? I’ve done everything I can think of to show you that I’m in this for the long haul, but it still feels like you have no faith in me.”

Lena shook her head rapidly; wanting to assuage Kara’s doubts as quickly as possible. “No! It’s not that I don’t have faith in you, Kara! It’s just my insecurities. I know that you’ve shown time and time again how devoted you are to me, but after all the betrayals and losses I’ve suffered, I just can’t comprehend how something this amazing can actually be mine… I know that I’m insecure, Kara, and you’ve been amazing with it, it’s just going to take some time for me to get used to the idea that I can actually make you happy.”

Kara looked at her with such an understanding gaze that it hitched Lena’s breath. She rose her hand up to Lena’s cheek and cupped it, before smiling so sweetly it almost gave Lena a cavity. “You’ve made me the happiest I’ve ever been, Lena. If I have to prove that to you every day for the rest of my life, I will.” She crooned before she leaned in and kissed Lena passionately.

Lena was breathless by the time Kara pulled away. Kara rested her forehead against Lena’s and smiled dopily. “After everything that we’ve been through, I think it’s time we take a break.”

Lena’s heart dropped. “W-what!? B-but you just said- You just said I make you h-happy?! N-now you want to break up?!”

Kara yanked herself away from Lena as if she’d just been burned. “What?! No! I meant break as in like… vacation. _Together._ ”

Relief and embarrassment flooded Lena as she felt a blush of pure humiliation sweep across her cheeks. “Oh! Right, I’m sorry. There I go again with assuming the worst…”

Kara giggled and shook her head in adoration before she leaned in and connected their lips once more. She pulled back much too soon for Lena’s liking and smiled devilishly. “You. Me. Cancun… How does that sound?”

Lena’s heart fluttered and she smiled widely. “That sounds _perfect._ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think?? Will Cancun be beneficial?


	53. Chapter 53

She’d always dreamed of walking along the beach, hand-in hand with Kara as they watched the sunset. She’d always dreamed of Kara’s naked body on top of hers, as she made sweet, passionate love to Lena, and made her writhe beneath her body of steel, in the moonlight. She’d always dreamed of waking up in Kara’s arms to see her smiling down at her as the sun haloed her gorgeous golden locks...

But she never believed that her fantasies would all become realities. Yet, by some miracle, they had.

Lena had gotten to stroll along a private Cancun beach while holding Kara’s hand and talking, flirting, laughing, bonding and kissing all day long. They’d finally gotten their chance to just _relax_ and enjoy each other’s company uninterrupted… Around 1 in the afternoon they’d stopped to eat at a quaint little eatery before they swam, ate, and kissed some more… It was paradise.Lena had craved this so badly, but she had no idea just how much she genuinely _needed_ it… How much they _both_ needed it. 

At a quarter past 9 p.m., they sat down on a blanket and Kara wrapped her arm around Lena’s waist as Lena rested her head on Kara’s shoulder as they watched the sun set over the horizon.

They sat there for an undetermined amount of time, in comfortable silence; just enjoying each other’s company. They’d talked all day, and they found that as much as they enjoyed conversing with each other, sitting next to each other in peaceful silence was just as enjoyable for them.

Finally, Lena sighed out happily, with the broadest and most genuine smile she’d worn in a long time and looked up to meet Kara’s eyes. “I’m so glad we’ve finally made it here. I was so scared we weren’t going to… But today has been something that’s far surpassed any of my fantasies. Not even my wildest dreams could compare to how amazing you are.”

Kara’s eyes gleamed in the moonlight and she swallowed audibly. “ _Rao,_ Lena… I love you so much it hurts.” She whispered thickly. “We’ve been through so much, but it got us to where we are right now, and I’ve never been happier.”

Lena’s heart melted, and happiness overflowed her heart. Kara’s face was so earnest, so peaceful, so _happy_ and _she_ was the reason. _Lena Kieran Luthor_ **actually** made **_Kara Zor-El Danvers_** happy… From the moment she met Kara that was all she’d ever wanted to do. “Really?” She asked in a quiet voice with a soft smile on her face… She saw in Kara’s eyes that she was being truthful, but Lena’s brain was still trying to compute that this all wasn’t another one of her lavish fantasies.

Kara smiled cheekily and nodded, leaning down to rub their noses together as she nodded. “Really.” She assured before connecting their lips in another passionate kiss. When the kiss ended, Kara rested their foreheads together. “This is our new start, Lee. From this moment forward there won’t be any more lies, secrets, or traumatic events that threaten to tear us apart. Starting today, we’re a cohesive unit. We work together or not at all. Just like it should have been from the very beginning. This is our do-over. How does that sound to you?”

Lena smiled as her heart swelled with exultation. She liked the sound of that… _a lot_. Nothing would make her happier than everything that Kara had just said. She nodded her head happily. “It sounds _perfect_.” She replied earnestly. “That’s all I’ve ever wanted for us.”

Kara smiled. “I love you, Lena. More than anything.”

Lena wiped happy tears from her eyes and met Kara’s cobalt blue eyes. “I love you, too baby. More than you could possibly understand.”

Kara smiled and leaned further into Lena until she was laying on top of her; with them both being in their bikinis; their bare stomachs were touching. Lena’s breath hitched as Kara’s blue eyes darkened, and she instantly felt her core begin to drench itself with arousal just from the passionate look in Kara’s eyes.

“Now… You were talking about your fantasies?” Kara asked as she gently stroked her fingers up and down Lena’s sided; sending tingles of ecstasy through her body.

Lena nodded shakily already craving everything Kara would offer her. “Y-yes.”

Kara smiled. “Well, I have a fantasy of my own….” She said slowly as she continued her caresses. “Would you like to hear it?”

Lena rapidly shook her head. “ _Please_.”

Kara smiled seductively as she brought her hand to the hem of Lena’s bikini bottom tantalizingly slow. “My fantasy is that I make you scream out my name as I make love to you right here on this beach, then I fly us back to our hotel suite, and we do it again.” She whispered. “What do you say?” She asked as she began to pepper Lena’s collar bone with feather-light kisses.

Lena nodded. “ _Yes_.” She moaned.

Kara smiled and kissed her reverently as her hand finally, _finally_  slipped beneath Lena’s swimsuit and into her core.

And _Rao_ did Lena scream Kara’s name.

 

**XXX**

Lena woke up but kept her eyes shut as the memory of the night prior played through her mind and a pure joyous smile spread across her face. Kara had made love to her on the moonlit beach, and then had continued to do so once she flew them back to their suite. They’d spent all day together, just _enjoying_ each other. It’d been the best day of her entire life.

Normally she’d wake up and keep her eyes closed, scared that the night before had just been a dream… but the orgasms she’d had last night were far too powerful for her mind to have just imagined. Not only that, but she felt Kara’s body beside her.

Slowly, she opened her eyes, taking in the bright morning light, and she saw the most breathtaking sight beside her; Kara, with her bedhead, smiling down at her like she’d hung the stars. “I’m glad to see that you’re just as happy as I am.” She said chirpily.

Lena giggled and pulled Kara down for a kiss. “I’m the happiest.” She said before kissing Kara once more. “Until I met you I didn’t even understand the meaning of the word happy.”

Kara looked down sadly. “I’m sorry that you had so many bad years, Lena you of all people, didn’t deserve such sorrow.” She said before smiling. “But I plan to make the rest of our lives together, the happiest it could possibly be.”

Lena smiled and snuggled in closer to the love of her love. “As long as I’m by your side my life will always be happy.”

Kara smiled. “I’m glad you think so,” she said. “Because I feel the exact same way.”

 

**XXX**

They’d spent all day sight-seeing and taking tons of selfies together; posting a few here and there just to let their friends and family know they were having the time of their lives. They were now on a sunset lobster dinner cruise through the marina… And Lena thought that this truly was the beginning of her happily ever after.

She just hoped that, someday every version of herself would be able to be this happy with their respective Karas… She knew that when they went back to their everyday life, she would start to worry about how her friends were doing… She’d even most likely go to their worlds to check up on them; but for now? Right now she was going to watch the most beautiful sight she could possibly see; which was Kara, staring at her with the most innocent and pure look of love in her eyes; while smiling with a bit of lobster on her cheek.

Lena smiled, love and happiness overwhelming her as she laughed and shook her head in adoration.

Kara furrowed her brow. “What? What’s so funny?’ She asked in confusion.

She laughed and pointed to her own cheek, Kara furrowed her brow but made an attempt to wipe away the food on her cheek, only to miss it entirely. “Did I get it?”

Lena giggled gleefully and shook her head, leaning across the table to wipe away the offending lobster crumbs, only to be (gently but quickly) pulled over the table with super speed and into Kara’s lap as a grinning Kryptonian looked down at her. “Oh!” She yelped as she landed on Kara’s lap. Once the shock wore off she looked up and smiled dopily at her girlfriend. “Hi there.” She chuckled lovingly.

Kara grinned even wider. “Hey, beautiful.” She said before connecting their lips.

And as the kiss deepened, Lena knew… She would never do anything to even remotely risk losing Kara a third time… This time was forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter we will see a bit more of their Cancun vacation, and then we will see a bit of some other Earths. 
> 
> What do you think the other versions of SuperCrop's fates will be?


	54. Chapter 54

They continued touring Cancun, and enjoying each other.

Throughout the next two weeks they went on multiple jungle tours, went snorkeling, speedboating, went to waterparks, amusement parks, ziplining, camel riding, swimming with dolphins. They explored Mayan cities, and went horseback riding on the beach.

They’d slept in late on the last morning; just enjoying the peace for one more day before heading back to reality. Lena had never had such an intimate, romantic, and fun vacation in her life, and she never wanted it to end, but alas; they both had companies to run, and nothing good lasted forever.

So, with one last kiss on their hotel suite bed, they both reluctantly got up and began packing for the flight home.

“I wish we could be like this forever.” Lena said as she loaded up her suitcase.

Kara smiled at her. “We’re rich, Lee.” She said. “We could do this once a month if we really wanted to.”

And Lena laughed, because Kara was right… They really could. “You don’t think you’d bore of me?” She asked, half joking, half serious.

Kara shook her head. “Not a chance, baby. You’re too amazing for anyone with a brain to get bored of.”

Lena smiled. “I’m glad you think so.” She said, her heart thoroughly filled. After two weeks of pure, uninterrupted quality time with the love of her life had completely changed her entire outlook on her life… She was happy, she was confident, she felt worthy, and she felt loved.

She smiled at herself as she realized all she really needed was one chance to just _relax_ with Kara, and everything fell into place. She just hoped that when their perfect little fantasy ended and life kicked back into gear, their relationship would stay the same. But, with as much love and happiness Kara had given her over the course of the past two weeks, she was more certain than ever that it would.

 

**XXX**

Life continued when they returned to National City; but it was far better than it had been before. Supergirl was as amazing as ever, CatCo was busier than ever, Kara had won another Pulitzer, and LCorp’s stocks had quadrupled after Lena won her Nobel Peace Prize for her cancer cure. Lena was the happiest she’d ever been, because she and Kara had only grown closer and stronger with each passing milestone.

Nine months into their relationship, and Lena couldn’t be happier (unless they were married), but as she sat at her table, eating dinner with her girlfriend; she couldn’t help but wonder… How were the other Lenas doing? Were they happy? Were they healthy? Had they reconciled with their Karas?

“Lena?” Kara asked concerned, finally pulling Lena out of her reverie.

“Hm? Sorry, darling. What were you saying?” She asked, shaking herself back to reality.

Kara frowned. “I was saying that Alex and Kelly’s wedding is next week, and I still have no idea what to get them.” She paused. “Are you okay?”

Lena learned a long time ago not to try to hide her emotions in fear of repercussions, because the consequences of lying or omitting were far worse than just being open and honest… Kara would never judge her. “I’m just curious about what happened to the other Lenas… Do you think they’re okay?”

Kara smiled. “I love that you care so deeply about people.”

Lena blushed, “I’m glad that you find my worry so charming.”

Kara chuckled and rolled her eyes before standing up and putting on her coat.

Lena frowned. “Baby?” She asked. Confused, and a bit concerned that by accidentally ignoring Kara during their dinner, Kara was leaving.

Kara looked back. “Hmm?”

“Where are you going?” Lena asked, a bit more worried now.

Kara smiled sweetly at her, and leaned down to kiss Lena. “I’m going to go home, because you have a bit of traveling to do.”

Lena furrowed her brows. “W-what?”

Kara smiled adoringly at Lena. “You’re not going to be able to relax until you know how they’re doing.” Kara said sweetly. “So you know what you have to do.”

Lena frowned. “Are you sure?”

Kara cupped Lena’s cheeks and kissed her forehead. “Am I sure that I want you to know how your friends are doing? Of course, I am. Just be safe and come back to me.”

Lena smiled, and her heart swelled ten sizes in her chest with pure love and devotion for the woman in front of her. “You’re phenomenal, Kara Danvers.”

Kara beamed at her. “So are you, Lena Luthor.” She said before turning and walking out the door.

Lena’s heart melted and she couldn’t help but squeeze her hand around the ring box she’d been carrying with her for weeks. She was more certain than ever that she wanted to marry that woman, she was just worried it was too soon, and that she would scare Kara away.

She pushed the thought down and took her hand out of her pocket. She then walked over to her home office, opened her desk drawer, and pulled out an extrapolator. She let out a shaky breath, and then activated the portal before walking through it.

 

**XXX**

As soon as she landed in her doppelganger’s living room she immediately made eye contact with the woman.

“38?” The woman asked worriedly. “What happened?!”

Lena chuckled at the fact that 45 immediately assumed she was only here because of an emergency. “Nothing bad.” She said. “I just wanted to know how you all were doing, so I decided to drop by.”

A look of relief immediately swept over 45’s face. “Oh thank, god.” She breathed. “I thought there was another Lex crisis or something.”

Lena smiled and shook her head before she sat down next to her counterpart. “No, nothing of the sort… At least not right now!” She laughed light-heartedly.

45 offered her a half smile, and Lena finally got a good look into her eyes… They were… _pained_ ; but not quite as pained as they had been before. It hurt to see that her friend still wasn’t as happy as Lena had once seen her. “So, how have you been? How are you and your Kara?”

“We’re not together, if that’s what you’re asking.” 45 said solemnly. “We’re friends, and we’ve talked about everything, but she said that she’s tried to get past the whole ‘dooming the rest of the multiverse because I was too scared to warn you all’ but she just… can’t. She’s stayed my friend because of everything that we’ve been through together, and she does still love me… Just as I still love her, but she’s working on herself right now. She said that maybe in time we could work things out, but for now she’s more focused on CatCo, and her duties as Supergirl. She wants to make sure that I’m sober and trustworthy before she even thinks about getting back with me.”

Lena frowned, but completely understood where Kara 45 was coming from. “Have you been trying to show her that you regret not coming to warn us? Have you shown her that you’re no longer a drunk?”

“I have my 6 month AA chip.” 45 informed. “When I get my 1 year chip, I’m going to give it to her, and ask her for a chance at a date.”

Lena smiled at the idea, it was both honorable, and romantic… But she feared that her doppelganger’s lack of a genuine plan would lead her to a Kara-less life. “Is she still involved with Agent Vasquez in any way?”

45 frowned, but shook her head no. “No, they decided a few months ago that they worked better as just friends.”

Lena felt a mild bit of relief wash over her… At least that was in 45’s favor. “Well, that’s good.” She said with a hopeful smile. “But you still have to work at showing her that you’re never going to make that type of mistake again.”

45 nodded her head. “I’m trying.” She said with a sad sigh. “But I still don’t think she’s ever going to completely forgive me. She’s trying because she’s _Kara_ , but I’m not sure her trust in me will ever be the same.”

Lena nodded, she knew that 45 was probably right, but that didn’t meant that there was no hope… 45 just had to put in even more work. “You might be right.” She stated sadly. “But that just means that you have to try harder to earn her trust back. Right now, she’s immensely disappointed in you. She doesn’t even recognize you, she sees you as someone she doesn’t know; so you have to _make_ yourself recognizable to her. Show her that you’re the person that she thought you were. Show her that falling in love with you once upon a time, _wasn’t_ a mistake. Show her that you’re better than your mistake. Don’t just try to go back to how things were before everything happened… Make an effort; a _real_ effort. Not just to stay sober, but to earn back her trust and devotion.”

45 wiped her tears and nodded. “You’re right.” She agreed. “I’ve been too scared to do it, but I need to show her that I’m still the same Lena Luthor that was her best friend for 6 years. The same Lena Luthor that she was once in love with… That loves her with everything I’ve got.”

Lena nodded and smiled proudly at her friend. “Exactly!” She chimed. “And I have faith that you can do it.”

“If I can’t, I don’t know if I’ll survive.” 45 said.

Lena smiled sympathetically at her friend. “Then let’s not find out.”

 

**XXX**

They spent the next few hours catching up with one another, Lena 45 had been delighted to hear how well Lena and Kara were doing and had informed Lena that Lena and Kara 9,886 had just celebrated their 5th wedding anniversary by going to Argo for a week. Lena was thrilled to know that they were still going strong.

They’d also talked about Lena 26, and how her Kara was still happily raising a family with Brainy 26; she was still miserable, but Kara 26 hadn’t completely cut her off like she’d feared. They remained friends, not as close as they once had been, but they still kept in contact regularly.

“You’re the luckiest out of us all.” Lena 45 said. “You put your Kara through hell and back, but somehow you managed to win back her heart. Don’t squander this chance. That ring in your pocket? Use it, because you will regret waiting too long. Love her, cherish her, adore her, and never let her down again.”

Lena smiled, and swallowed the lump in her throat. “I want to… but I’m scared that it's too early… We haven’t even been together a year.”

Lena 45 chuckled. “You preach to me about being brave, bold, and romantic with my Kara… but can’t even do it yourself because it’s _hard_. I get I, I do, but,” She sighed. “You have the greatest blessing in the universe… Kara Zor-El Danvers’ heart… She loves you, do you really think that _Kara_ would turn against you; after all that you two have been through, just because you proposed a bit early? If she isn’t ready, she will tell you that, and you two will continue to be happy for millennia to come.”

Lena bit her bottom lip and nodded. “My heart knows you’re probably right, but my mind goes to all these dark places… Constantly fearing the worst. You know how life has been for us, it never turns out well. We always screw things up, and as much as I love and trust Kara; I don’t trust the universe to actually let me keep this happiness.”

Lena 45 gave Lena an understanding look and offered her a supportive hand on her bicep. “I understand that, Lord knows I do… But you can’t let that fear (that you know is irrational),hold you back from a future with Kara. Don’t let _anything_ hold you back from that.”

Lena sighed and nodded. “You’re right… I have to take the leap of faith.”

45 nodded and smiled. “We both do.”

They offered each other encouraging smiles before Lena realized she still didn’t know what happened to Lena 109. “Whatever happened with Earth 109 Lena?”

45 shrugged. “Don’t know.”

“Aren’t you even a _little_ curious?” Lena asked.

Lena 45 let out a humorless chuckle. “I know that it isn’t going to be a happy ending… and I just can’t mentally handle seeing _another_ unhappy ending for one of us.”

Lena frowned, her heart ached that her friend was still so sad, but she understood how 45 felt, and respected her decision… But she still needed to know for herself. So that’s why, after a hug goodbye with 45, she activated her extrapolator and teleported herself to Earth 109.

 

**XXX**

She landed in Lena 109’s apartment, to find her… sweeping. _Well at least she’s not passed out drunk on the couch._ She thought. 109 noticed her almost immediately and turned off the vacuum. “Are you friendly?” She asked monotonously; her body tense.

Lena smiled, and offered a small laugh before nodding. “It’s me, 38.”

Lena 109’s body relaxed, but only minutely. “What brings you here? Has something else happened?”

Lena finally felt a bit offended that her doppelgangers immediately assumed the worst when they saw her. “No, I’ve just been thinking about you and the rest of our doppelgangers lately and wanted to see how you were doing.”

Lena 109’s eyes still looked almost as pained as they had when they had first met; but they were a bit more hollow. “Oh.” She said. “I’m fine.”

Lena’s heart sank and a frown immediately graced her face. “You don’t look, nor do you _sound_ , fine.” She said. “What’s happened?”

Lena shrugged. “I gave Alex the Harun-El cure. But first Kara had J’onn read my mind to  make sure that I wasn’t wrong or lying about its capabilities. Then, once Alex was able to walk, she went right back to her duties at the DEO. Kara, on the other hand, decided that she wanted to move back to New Krypton. She hung up the cape, and moved back about 8 months ago. Five months ago, Alex and Eliza followed her; Eliza joined the science guild, and Alex is a renowned surgeon.”

Lena frowned. “She didn’t even talk to you?”

“Why would she?” 109 asked sadly. “I’m the woman that _caused_ the most important person in her life to become paralyzed for over three years. Reversing the paralysis after three years doesn’t undo the emotional and physical trauma that I put Alex through, and the heartache I put all of her loved ones (especially Kara) through. It doesn’t instantly make it all better, and I should have known that. We both should have.”

Lena’s heart broke as she saw her doppelganger break down in tears. “I’m so sorry, 109… I had rose colored glasses on. If it had been _anyone_ else that you’d hurt, it might’ve been different; but since it was Alex, it hit her a trillion times harder… Alex is the exception. I’m so sorry I got your hopes up.”

109 continued to sob for a few more minutes before she wiped her tears away and sat down on her couch. “It’s not your fault.” She concurred. “I shouldn’t have expected anything more than this. Alex was the closest person to me besides Kara before this all happened, and then well… I completely fucked up and in doing so I hurt them both… Not everyone gets happy endings, 38… So don’t ruin yours.”

Lena swallowed back the lump in her throat and shook her head. “I won’t.”

“Good.” 109 said, “Because losing Kara is the worst pain I’ve ever felt.”

Lena nodded. “Me too, but I am one of the two lucky ones that got a… well, _fourth_ chance.”

109 cackled. “I would _kill_ for just a _second_ one.”

Lena reached into her pocket and squeezed the ring box in her hand… Seeing all of these versions of her, miserable without her Kara made her realize one thing… Risking embarrassment was worth it if it meant there was a chance she could not only steal Kara’s heart, but also live eternity with her. She didn’t want to be miserable, letting fear dictate her every move. She wanted to be happy, with Kara… _forever._

“I’m sorry this happened to you. I can’t imagine the pain you’re feeling… If Kara left earth without me, I probably wouldn’t survive it.” And Lena knew that she wouldn’t… If Kara up and left back to Argo, after all that they’ve been through, Lena would indubitably die of a broken heart.

“It’s okay.” Lena 109 said, in a tone that told Lena it _wasn’t_ okay. “I did this to myself.” She paused and wiped her eyes. “Now I clean… constantly… To distract myself from the pain, because I know where alcohol gets me. So, if one day… Kara comes back to Earth, and we happen to run into each other, she’ll see that I’ve changed… I’m better now; and though that might not be enough to earn me a second chance, I’d take a small amount of comfort in the fact that she would know that I’m not a horrible monster anymore.”

Lena couldn’t stop her tears at the thought of Kara thinking she was a monster… Lena 109’s pain was the worst out of them all now; and that broke her heart to shreds… But the pain 109 was in didn’t even compare to the amount of pain she’d seen on one other Doppelganger’s face.

 

**XXX**

Lena stood over the grave… it hurt to read the name on it, but it also gave her a minute sense of closure. She let out a shaky breath and took the ring box out of her pocket and opened it up, showing it to the tombstone. “I wouldn’t be standing here today, with enough confidence to do what I intend to do with this; without you.” She said. “You showed me what it would be like if I didn’t grow up and fight for what I wanted. You showed me that my ego and fear would ruin me if I didn’t get past them both. You showed me, that without Kara, I’d be miserable… You gave me the strength, and the push, that I needed to fight for her, and by the grace of Rao, she finally gave me a chance… _Four_ chances, actually.” She added with a tearful chuckle. “And because of that, I wouldn’t feel right taking the next step without letting you know that; I got the girl, and I intend on doing everything to keep her.” She smiled sadly. “I’m so _sorry_ they buried you so far away from her, but I hope that wherever you are, you’re with her now.”

She let out a shaky breath and gently placed her palm on the tombstone. “Thank you, 84…” Lena croaked. “Thank you for everything, and I promise you, I will not let your lesson go in vain.”

 

**XXX**

As soon as Lena landed back in her apartment, she changed into Kara’s favorite dress and sped over to her loft. She didn’t even bother knocking on the door and barged right in. Kara was seated on her couch, with 8 empty take-out boxes on the coffee table, as she was devouring a ninth and Lena had never been more in love.

Kara looked up, her mouth full of potstickers and her face brightened as she saw her. “Lena!” She said with her mouth full; chewing rapidly and swallowing. “How was your trip? How are they doing?”

“They’re miserable, and lonely, and sober; and I love you.” Lena said.

Kara looked at her with a comically confused expression. “Um… okayyyy.” She chuckled in confusion. “I love you too, Lena. Would you like to talk about any-,”

Lena cut her off be lunging forward and kissing her. “Marry me.” She whispered desperately when they pulled apart.

Kara looked at her with bugged-out eyes. “W- _what_?”

Lena nodded, knelt down before Kara on the couch and displayed the diamond encrusted, nth-metal ring. “I love you, Kara Zor-El Danvers. I love you more than I could possibly love any other living being. You are my home to come back to, the beat to my heart, and the light of my world. I could never live without you again, so please…. Would you do me the honor of marrying me?”

Kara’s hands covered her mouth as her eyes glistened with (what Lena hoped were) happy tears.

After what felt like an eternity, Kara finally nodded her head rapidly. “Yes! Oh my Rao, Lena… _Yes_!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter, my friends! Please let me know what you think!


	55. Chapter 55

Loving Kara Zor-El Danvers from afar was what Lena had assumed would be her fate forever.

Being Kara Zor-El Danvers’ friend felt like a lifeline, one that she had been eternally grateful for.

Being Kara Zor-El Danvers’ girlfriend felt like a fantasy far too good to ever be true.

But, being Kara Zor-El Danvers’ wife?! Well, although it had been five whole years, Lena still woke up every morning and pinched herself; because she never thought in trillion years, that this would be her reality; yet every time she did it, being Kara’s wife was still her reality... And she couldn’t be happier.

Lena looked down at her left hand and smiled widely as she saw the _beautifu_ l Kryptonian bonding bracelet on her wrist, and the k-metal wedding ring set on her ring finger; both of which signified her eternal commitment and matrimony to Kara. Every time she looked at them. Her heart swelled with pure glee. She had never dreamed that she would find someone worth loving to love her back; _especially_ not someone as perfect as Kara.

She heard the soft touch down of boots on their living room balcony and her heart fluttered. She looked up with the broadest smile on her face. “Finally. I’ve missed you, Darling.”

Kara flew over to her wife and swept her up in her arms, pulling her into a passionate kiss. “I was only gone for five hours, baby.”

Lena nodded. “Yes, five hours too long.”

Kara giggled. “I _had_ to watch baby Malachi for Alex and Kelly they’re both _exhausted_. He’s been keeping them up all night.” She informed. “But I’m here now, and I plan on staying here for the rest of the night.” She whispered seductively before she kissed the nook of Lena’s neck; sending shivers of ecstasy through her body.

Lena smiled and nodded, Kara was a phenomenal Aunt, and an even greater wife. “I know, I just hate sharing you.”

Kara smiled. “You don’t have to share me, you could’ve just come with me.”

Lena winced. She found babies adorable, she really did… but taking care of them for an extended period of time? Not so much… She’d leave the mothering thing to Alex and Kelly. “You know I’m not good with kids.”

Kara guffawed. “Says the woman who has opened eight children’s hospitals.”

“I _like_ kids, I’m not _good_ with them. There’s a difference, Darling.” Lena chuckled.

Kara just smiled and shook her head adoringly. “I love you.”

Lena smiled. Her heart always melted whenever Kara said that to her. “I love you, too.”

 

**XXX**

The next evening, Supergirl was out saving the city, leaving her wife alone for her mind to wander.

Lena began to think of her doppelgangers again… She’d stayed in touch with 45, but 109, 9,886, and 26 weren’t very responsive to her interdimesional calls.

So, she called 45 to see how she was doing.”

“Hey, 38.” The woman answered.

Lena smiled at her friend’s voice, although it still was sadder than it had been in the past. “45, I’m glad you answered! How are things?”

“Same as always, really.” 45 responded with a sigh.

Lena’s heart ached for 45, it truly did. After everything that happened, she and Kara tried to make things work, but Kara said that she just _couldn’t_ feel the same for her anymore. It broke 45… and for months 45 went radio silent with Lena only to pop back up and be the melancholiest version of herself Lena had seen her be.

The 45s were still friends, but Kara had made the decision not to pursue anything further than that between them again. “How’s your Kara?”

“She’s… great. Getting married… _y’know_. Same old, same old.” 45 said sadly.

Lena was taken aback by that. The last person 45 had ever mentioned her Kara even _casually_ dating was Imra 45… _Three_ _years ago_ … After that brief, Kara 45’s love life was strictly prohibited conversation.

“What!?” Lena asked in bewilderment. “To _who_!?”

“Doesn’t matter. It isn’t me.” 45 grumbled as glasses began to clink together… Which mean that 45 was getting upset and felt the urge to drink, so she decided to clean instead of breaking her sobriety. (Something Lena 10- had apparently taught her.)

“It _does_ matter when it’s very obvious that you’re having a hard time with this.” Lena said gently.

“I’m her best friend, I’m supposed to be supportive of her. I _am_ supportive of her in almost every aspect of her life, and I want her to be happy; but watching her with a _second_ wife still hurts.” 45 said, her voice breaking.

Lena wanted to hug the woman on the other end of the phone. “I’m coming over.” She said as she hung up her intergalactic phone and opened a portal.

Within moments, she had the other woman wrapped up in her arms in a tight embrace. “Shhh. I’m so _sorry_ 45\. I had no idea things were so bad. Why didn’t you call me?”

45 shrugged. “Talking about it made it real.”

“The _wedding_ will make it real, darling. I wish I’d have known. I would have undoubtedly been there for you.”

Lena 45 shook her head. “If I could turn back the clock, I would do so many things differently. She said she loves me, and always will but… She just doesn’t know how to be with me now.”

Lena furrowed her brows, but nodded her head. She definitely could believe that. She didn’t know what to say, so she just sat there, holding her doppelganger until she finally cried herself into a fitful sleep. She then snuck out from under the woman, and made her way out the door and into the world of Earth 45.

 

**XXX**

She’d debated on whether this was a good idea for over an hour, but she’d finally found herself in front of Kara 45’s CatCo office. It was late, but the woman was typing rapidly at her keyboard. She looked wonderful, like she belonged there (and Lena knew that she did.) So, she knocked on the door labeled “CatCo CEO Kara Danvers” and hoped for the best.

Kara 45 looked up, and with an arched brow gestured for Lena to come in. “IF you’re trying to impersonate my Lena, I’m going to warn you now not to even bother… Your faces are identical, but your heartbeats are different.”

Lena smiled at that. “Probably because even though you have the same face as my wife, I know that you’re not her, so my heartbeat doesn’t skyrocket when I see you the way your Lena’s heart does.”

Kara 45 looked shocked at Lena’s comment but ignored it. “May I ask why you’re here so late at night… on an Earth that isn’t even your own?”

Lena smiled and nodded before sitting down on a chair at Kara 45’s desk. “I’m not sure I should even be here, but your Lena sacrificed for me and my Kara, so I’m going to take a jab at it myself…” Kara 45 raised an eyebrow, but said nothing, allowing Lena to continue. “When I first saw you, you were in a miserable marriage, and madly in love with your best friend. You refused to leave that marriage out of obligation… But when you finally did, you were the happiest you’d ever been because you were with the woman of your dreams. I saw the love and passion you had for each other in your eyes. There’s absolutely no denying that you love her, so why are you about to marry someone else, again? Why are you so sure that you can’t be with your Lena? I understand that she broke every moral you have, but that was _SIX_ years ago. She’s got her 3 year sobriety chip, she’s turned herself around, she’s bettered herself, and she’s helped cure Cancer. Why is it that you think her one, _massive_ mistake that she made _SIX_ years ago is enough to stop you from being with her? That’s not what you want, I know it’s not… It’s what you think you _have_ to do! You feel conflicted between your head and your heart, and instead of following the scary path that your heart wants you to follow, you’re allowing your head to take you down the safe path again and that’s not fair to either of you… or your Fiancée.”

Kara 45 stared at her for a few more moments; a stare that Lena had never seen on her own Kara’s face before. “Are you done?” She asked.

Lena nodded, and swallowed the lump in her throat. “I’m not quite sure what Lena has told you, but… I didn’t break up with her because I didn’t want to be with her… I broke up with her because she fell off the wagon again, and I felt that her sobriety was more important than our relationship at the time. But life took us down separate paths… We’re still close friends, and I will always love her, but I’m quite positive that she wants different things than I do.”

Lena looked at the woman before her incredulously. “She want’s _YOU_!”

Kara 45 shook her head, her eyes clouding with something that almost looked like regret as she slowly shook her head. “No she doesn’t. I gave her _two years_ to tell me that she was ready to try again, and she never did. After that, I stopped waiting.”

“Are you kidding me!? She just cried herself to sleep in my _arms_ because she can’t bear to watch you get married again.”

Kara 45 looked at Lena with so much confusion and confliction it almost looked painful. “You’re serious?”

Lena let out an exasperated sigh… She now realized how gallingly stupid and oblivious she and Kara had been before getting together. “Yes! She’s devastated!”

“Th-then why didn’t she say anything? W-why didn’t she jus-,”

“Because we’re not good enough for you! She lied to me and told me that you broke up with her because you couldn’t love her the same after the way she handled everything with Lex 84, and do you know _why_ she lied?”

Kara furrowed her brow, and slowly realization swam over her face. “Because after she fell off the wagon she felt like she wasn’t good enough for me… but she knew if she told her that you’d try to get her to come back to me once she was on the wagon again.”

Lena nodded. “ _Exactly_.” She said. “She never stopped loving you, and watching you be with Imra has killed her.”

Kara swallowed thickly, tears brimming her eyes. “Th-thank you, for informing me of this all. It’s all a lot to process, though. So, I think it best of you to leave.”

Lena hated the look of pain on Kara 45’s face, but she nodded in understanding and left… going straight back to Lena 45’s apartment.

 

**XXX**

“You **TOLD** her!?!” Lena 45 seethed as she shot up from her couch. “WHY!?”

“Because she deserved to know the truth, 45. She seriously thought that you weren’t even interested in her anymore. Why would you want her to think that?”

“BECAUSE I’M WEAK!” 45 screamed as she slammed open one of her kitchen cupboards and pulled out a class.

Lena frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I’m a _mess_ and every time I get stressed out at work, or get overwhelmed with my craving for her love, or by my jealousy of Imra, all I want to do is drink myself to sleep.”

Lena was just about to respond to that, when 45’s door opened and Kara 45 stepped in. “But you don’t.” Kara 45 said. “Instead you clean something to distract yourself; because you’re _not_ a mess. You’ve managed to stay sober for 3 years, and I know that you can do that for 3 millennia if you have to.”

45 looked at Kara 45 with so much love, confusion, and awe it broke Lena’s heart. “Y-you’re here.”

Kara 45 nodded. “I am.”

“Y-you should hate me.”

“I don’t.”

“I lied to you.”

“Yes, but I know the truth now.”

“What’s the truth? That I’m a liar?”

Kara 45 smiled lovingly at the woman before her and shook her head. “That we love each other.”

Lena smiled as she watched the pair grow closer, and her heart warmed as she saw that same look of love and devotion in their eyes that they had when Kara 45 had come to save her Lena from Earth 38.

“B-but, Imra?”

Kara shook her head. “I ended it. I should have never tried to bury my love for you, in her… It wasn’t fair to any of us. Just like it wasn’t fair of you to emotionally ghost me.”

“I’m sorry.” Lena 45 croaked, a tear falling from her eye.

Kara 45 smiled sadly at her and wiped the tear away. “It’s over now, Lee. We can be together, without anymore lies, or secrets. We can finally have a chance. I think it’s about time, don’t you?”

45 was too overcome with emotion to respond, so Kara 45 took pity on her and leaned in, connecting their lips.

Lena smiled, and was just about to teleport herself away, when they pulled apart, and Kara 45 smiled at her. “Thank you.”

Lena smiled and offered her a curt nod. “Of course, just make sure to send me an invite to the wedding.” She teased.

They all laughed, and Lena finally teleported herself away.

 

**XXX**

She landed on Earth 109, and looked around to find Lena 109 watching tv, she immediately looked over and sighed. “Thirty eight?”

Lena nodded. “Hello, 109. Long time, no see.”

Up close, 109 looked miserable… She was far too skinny, her eyes were completely hollow all but for an imperceptible hint of pain that appeared to be hidden incredibly well, and her looked like it hadn’t been cleaned in days. Her heart went from completely full, to irreversibly broken for the woman in front of her. “I’d ask how you are, but…”

109 shrugged. “I’m Kara-less. That alone should give you an answer.”

Lena frowned. “What about the company? Haven’t you found at least _some_ solace in that?”

“I did for a while, but when it became obvious that Kara was never returning that solace went away. I miss her more every day.” 109 answered.

Lena’s heart broke… She couldn’t imagine life without her wife in it.

“I’m so sorry that you’re in so much pain, 109.”

109 shrugged. “Did it to myself, really.” She admitted. “I wish I could be like you, or Lena 9,886. Hell, I’d even take being friendzoned while being able to watch her be happy with Brainy and their children like 26 is, but instead I’m basically just as Kara-less as 84 was.”

“Your Kara is still alive. There’s still hope that she will come bac-,”

“STOP IT!” 109 yelled tearfully. “She’s not coming back. The whole damn world knows it. It’s been almost six years. She’s gone.” 109 finished in a broken voice.

Lena went to try to comfort her doppelganger, but 109 moved back and shook her head. “Please just leave.” She pleaded tearfully.

Lena’s face fell. “109, please I w-,”

“NOW!” 109 yelled, interrupting Lena’s pleas.

Lena stopped, swallowed the lump in her throat, and nodded. “I’m sorry this is how it all worked out for you, 109.”

109 nodded. “Yeah.” She replied. “Me too.”

 

**XXX**

Lena landed back in her living room, to find her wife lying on the couch. She immediately shot up, with a smile on her face as she saw her wife appear. “Finally! I missed you.”

Lena smiled. “I was only gone for a few hours.”

Kara giggled and pulled Lena down into her side on the couch so that they were cuddling. “A few hours too many.” Kara replied before placing a kiss to Lena’s forehead.

Lena relaxed and let the tension flow out her body. Lena 109 wasn’t ready to be helped, and by the looks of it she may never be, so all Lena could do in that moment was enjoy her wife’s embrace.

“Promise me that you’ll never move to Argo and leave me behind.” Lena murmured.

“What?” Kara asked incredulously as she pulled back and looked at Lena in confusion. “Lena, I wouldn’t be able to move _anywhere_ without you or Alex. I wouldn’t survive it.”

Lena shook her head and swallowed the lump in her throat. “I wouldn’t survive it either.” She said as Kara crashed their lips together.

 

**XXX**

Two years later, Kara and Lena were packing for vacation when a portal opened. Lena tensed, and Kara supersped in front of her, guarding her from whatever threat was coming through the portal, but all that came through was a piece of paper.

They both relaxed and stared at it in confusion until they picked it up and read it.

It was an elegantly decorated card, with hearts and flowers all over it, and it read;

**You are invited to the marriage ceremony of**

**Kara Zor-El Danvers**

**&**

**Lena Kieran Luthor**

**Saturday, July 12 th, 2026**

**Please RSVP via Interdimensional phone.**

**(We hope to see you there, 38s)**

Lena smiled brightly. “What do you say, Mrs. Danvers… Would you like to watch ourselves get married again?”

Kara giggled and kissed Lena. “I would love nothing more, Mrs. Danvers.”

Lena smiled. She’d never been happier than she was right now.

Her life was perfect, and now… Well, seeing the 45’s get their well-deserved happily ever after as well was just the icing on the cake.

“I love you, Kara.” Lena said reverently.

Kara beamed at her. “I love you more.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading this story, I really do hope that you enjoyed thoroughly. Please let me know what you think!


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